Arbolesmentirosos

@kkengaged It doesn´t seem to be much of a secret to me, more like a very common thing/non-activity usually overlooked.

@Nahm Thank you for your feedback, I will try the exercise that you described, it seems surreal to be able to say the entire alphabet eight times in one breath, cant wait to try. I have a weird relationship with singing, as a musician that has the luck to spend most of its time doing music I have a really hard time getting my voice out, so I could use some breathing technique in my life. that blew my mind a little, usually when I focus my attention on the body I can feel after a while some kind of energy or sensation moving through, in some cases I´ve been able to play a little with it but never knew much what I was doing.

Hi everyone! Today I started my meditation practice (again), my intent is to meditate every day at least 10 minutes from now on, Im not particularly interested in advanced techniques and positions, I just put a timer on my phone and sit still in a chair. I´ve tried in the past to stay consistent with more or less success, I dont find it difficult to calm my thoughts once Im there, but consistency seems to be my weakness, evidence of this was shown to me today, when I forgot that my cellphone was on silence, and after the 10 minutes I got carried away another 18 minutes (lol) not flexin but Im kinda proud (because I didn´t move half an hour, lame i know). The thing itself went very good, I decided to meditate because I was feeling a little anxious, and it worked, but one thing I did notice is that I coudn´t stop yawning at some point, wich has happened before in my practices. When my body does this I feel like I loose some kind of energy or focus, and I was wondering if anyone has experience with this particular subjet. I also experimented with some type of chanting, or vibration, using the vocals A E I O U, this felt very good but I dont really know much about this tradition, besides that it is present in lots of cultures around the globe, I just followed my "instinct" and it helped my focus a lot. I feel light as a feather right now and felt like sharing, like I said, if anyone knows if the yawning has some effect, and knows some information about the vibrations that one can produce to enhace the meditation practice, I´d aprecciate some feedback. I´m hoping my english isn´t too bad, since its not my native language (sorry). Thanks for your attention if you came here and hasta luego gente.

@wordsforliving I saw that one some time ago, it hit differently this time... Thank you

@Dwarniel you're right, i know that now I'm the toxic one, but I don't even know how to start that conversation. Sharing this here has helped a lot, although I still don't know exactly when, or how, the whole idea feels more concrete. Thank you for your response

I meant hiding my feelings about the relationship that I'm in. Which I feel has a lot to do my self actualization. Thank you for your support

I hear you, luckily I have a very good relationship with her mother, very sensible person, but I don't know how she would react. I've been trying to concentrate in myself, changing some habits, and feeling better in general, I know I can't ignore these feelings, but it's hard. Thank you for your response

Well, I obviously knew about her mental illness, in fact there was a very complicated episode on that year's vacation, where she would get really violent, and start screaming at me, breaking things and crying, all this coming for no apparent reason. After that she seemed fine for a couple months, when she moved in i started noticing this kinds of issues, not as much as those weeks, but it's like a cicle, it always comes back. The mistake was to think that this wouldn't affect my life that much, it turns out Im very sensitive to negativity. Also there's the issue that Im mostly working in my music, and she doesn't have yet any purpose or idea about what to do in life, so she just watches stuff on her phone all day, stoned, I try not to judge very harshly, but this makes me feel very disconnected from her and question why do we live together at all.

Hi, I've been watching Leo's videos for some time and recently joined the forum, really appreciate the opportunity to share and communicate in this space. I'm 20 years old, I've been in a relationship with a girl for 3 years, since high school, about a year ago she moved in to my house, where I live with my dad. I knew back then that I wash rushing, but she really wanted to get away from her house, and me, beeing kind of a a people pleaser I accepted, I don't want to paint a wrong picture though, I was very happy at first, and thought it wasn't a big deal then, with time I learned that was a mistake. I still appreciate her very much, and I've been helping her getting through depression(she's medicated) , which has been going on strong since before I met her and is still there. Last November everything started falling apart, I met this other girl, that made me feel things, and it added to a long history of toxicity that had been building up on both sides for some time and we got in a fight that lasted a couple days. I told her I wanted to break up, and she reacted violently, so I got scared, and couldn't do it, so we ended up "fixing" the whole thing. In the back of my mind I knew it wouldn't last and I'm getting constantly thoughts about it, thinking that I just want to be alone, really feeling like we don't connect anymore, and that every time I try to push my life in the direction I want, this relationship it's just dragging me down. The thing is I don't want to hurt her, (which I know is for selfish reasons, because I'm acting from fear, not love) plus all the hiding got me emotionally exhausted and I don't have the will to do anything. I know it's a long post, so thank you if you read it, I don't really have people in my life to talk about this. I'll accept your perspective in this and any suggestions will be welcomed.