Fran11

To those who says I'm coming from ego consider: If life as a human feels so heavenly when you are enlightened, then why very advanced masters talk about MahaSamadhi or stopping reincarnating? That's because the meaninglesness is existencial and at that levels of conciousnes you don enjoy human life. Yes, you enjoy conciousnes if you are 100% free of ego, but not human life.

I come to the same conclusion when I'm sober. But in practice when I go really deep into god-realizarion that explaination is seen as a fantasy and doesn't make sense in that state. There are levels of conciousness where material life simply loses all sense and meaning.

No it's not traumatizing. I am in left in shock but with integration it turns into growth because I can now see why we live this limited life with this limited consciousness. It's like you said, if God wanted to be in god-mode, it would be. Many spritual seekers are in denial of the fact that human life is suposed to be lived this way. I get that if you rid yourself 100% of ego you would be in bliss even in those high states, but you would not be human anymore and you would not care at all about your life. That's why I say you can't enjoy human life at such levels, they are just incompatilbe with human life as most people know it. To be always that high you would have to completely surrender the game of reality isn't meant to be played in god mode.

It feels you are so powerful that theres nothing else to do but to forget it

It goes beyond solipsism. I feel relity isnt desing to be enjoyed when you are aware of how you are constructing everything. At least thats where im now but i know further integration will allow me to be at peace with these states.

@Leo Gura Thoughts on this topic?

You've seen nothing

If awakening doesnt terrify you it isn awakening.

God didnt experience becoming concious of how its creating reality in your lifetime.

God of course

I'm sorry but I think if you didn't encounter this, you didnt fully experience god realizartion. It's an existential feeling that you have broken reality

When I reach a state of God Relization it really feels thay the universe itself sees realiy as completely meaningless and wants to go back to the ilussion. Ego is subtle. But I feel this is more of a existencial thing. The whole play of life is desing around keeping this secret away from you. When you see it at first is too good to be true, but short after you want to un-see it to experience human life again.

Please sombody tell me you know what im talinkg about

Whenever I have a drip trip a reach a point in which i feel i can't enjoy human life at that level of awakening and wamt to un-see oneness. One could argue that is the ego whom resists. But it feels moxe existencial than just ego. If as if reality itself was designed to keep that secret and you feel you broke reality by being concious of how you are imagining everything. Is the loneliness existential or just ego?

The problem is you assume we exist as separate bubbles at the same time. Rather try to think of all bubbles of conciousness as being superposed outside of time as pure potentiality/nothingness, with only one moment being actualized at a time: the one you are experiencing. There's nothing outside of your experience, neither outside of my experience, and there's no contradiction.