meow_meow

Holy fuck, I guess Sadhguru wasnt bullshittin us. Edit: From which exercises did it happen exactly? How did the pain suddenly stop? How did you manage it? How many times did you actually did the exercises before the pain started? Did you visit a doctor?

I am talking about the one in the video posted in te he topic. I assume it's classical. Can you please explain how exactly it can be dangerous?

Have you actually had such experience?

What do you mean? It's not like it has ever even been "my" life anyways.

Well, he does have his own point of view on this, which is ofc the complete opposite of Leos teachings. That's why it'll cause conflict between this forum and Eliot, atleast for now. Remember that Eliot is not a spiritual teacher, but more of a life coach for young men. That's why his point of view on spirituality are the way they are, there is no need to judge him for that IMO.

What exactly do you mean by breath being imaginary? I like how Alan Watts described it in one of his lectures:

As Always, I'll start my topic with my actualization stats. So I've been on this journey of self help, personal development and self actualization for about 1 year now. Meditating almost daily ~35mins. For the past ~6-7months doing self-inquiry for 45mins, done contemplating death, do nothing etc. No psychedelics. Last months have been mind blowing, full of fear, panic attacks, sleepless nights, tears etc. So for the last few months I really started to get meditation and self-inquiry "the right way" and focusing my attention on "I". Took me a while to realize that I've been bamboozling myself by questioning - What is "I" or Who is "I"? While "I" is the one who's asking, and therefore existing only if "I" claims that it exists. Fuels it's on existence. Few days ago I realized that I'm attaching "I" to everything that happens to this body. "I hear, I see, I walk." But If "I" exists only if "I" create "I" then it means that... oh shit, its not the "I" who is hearing, seeing or walking. It's just "I" attaching itself to everything that is happening. And everything happens even if no "I" is present. And the final realization that's still fresh and happened yesterday was "I think" and "My thoughts" and "My decisions." If there can be moments of no I then.. absolutely everything that happens, has happened and will happen to this body, every decision that will be made by it has nothing to do with me, and has never been. I'm a 27 year old dude and I'm sitting here crying while realizing this. This changes nothing and everything... Thoughts? Tips? Ideas?

I don't think it changes the way I will behave. I don't see how "I" really can change anything. From this point I assume that every single one of my decisions was a result of to what my brain was exposed to. (Started self help because stumbled upon Eliot Hulse -> saw benefits, listened to other teachers etc) everything just happened, The I didn't do shit. I believe the I is needed for the human psyche so that the human can operate and function normally. Ahh, weird. I've been practicing meditation as just sitting still with eyes closed and actively "Letting go" of thoughts for ~35 mins daily then straight after that switched to self-inquiry for 45 mins, where I do the same thing that you call meditation. - Trying to bring attention to the present moment (senses) and questioning the I, and just "looking" at "I" without thoughts, judgements etc untill this realization popped up. But I really don't feel any wall or any obstacles, just thoughts as distractions.

Yes I've noticed this too. I grew up listening to mostly gangsta rap music (2pac, biggie, 50 cent etc) I believe most of my victim mentality came from them. When starting personal development the first few months in it just started to feel like "I no longer relate to this music, it's just not me anymore" Even tho I like listening how fifty brags about bustin caps and driving lambos from time to time, I now mostly listen to daft punk/techno type of music, lol.

Damn, after reading this I feel like a cave-man-monkey doing my self-inquiry & meditation sessions without psyches. Great insights tho!

Exactly. I remember when I first listened to one of his lectures on youtube when I just started personal development work and I couldn't understand a word he was saying. Now a year later with a couple of realizations (no-self etc) he seems enlightened as fuck.. I think he's talent was to be poetic and explain in words what other teachers struggle with explaining.

Which meditation practice are you using to 'smash against the wall' ? What exactly do you mean by smashing against it? So that's it? That's all there is to realize about the Truth? Do you have any guidelines for me how to practice meditation (which form to use) to advance it to the level needed so I can rest my attention without putting it on any object, as you mentioned?

Ok, this is bad news. I don't have access to psyches in my region, neither have I ever tried them. Travel is on stand-by due to covid. So this leaves me with the hard way, I like how you mentioned the subtle thoughts, they are the sneaky ones. Up untill now during my self-inquiry sessions I was focusing my attention on I.. after this realisation of "no-self" I really don't see any point of continuing it this way. So what you're suggesting is, rather than focusing attention on "I" I should focus my attention on awareness without thoughts? I'm not yet quite sure what awareness is and how exactly to focus on it, do you mean to focus un just direct experience without the presence of "I" and thoughts?

I somehow kinda already had a little breadcrumb of an idea - "I have to let myself go" somewhere in the back of my head intuitively. I can already feel how much of an emotional challenge it will be. I'll probably take a few days off self-inquiry before doing it again, but that's nothing new anymore. Any tips on this?

Remember that Bitcoin is not unlimited. It has a limit and sooner or later we will mine the last block = last bitcoin. What happens after the last bitcoin block get mined? Who owns most bitcoins? If the governments already own most of it, how is it not controlled? What if the conspiracy theory that CIA invented it to spy on darkweb finds out to be true? Too sketchy IMO. But the blockchain tech in general has already impacted how banks manage transactions. You can google it. Quite interesting.

Yes, I've worked as an: Construction worker, Security guard, Lawyers assistant, Debt collector. I currently work as a web (PHP & JS) Developer. And I run a project, where we help people in my country who are in debt with legal consultations & translations for free. (Link here if you're interested) And I love it. When I used to work in the professions mentioned above, I felt the same way as You do. I hated it, I hated every second in most of these jobs. I felt like I was selling my soul for shit salary and absolutely no feeling of gratification, no fullfillment, and eventually it led me to alcohol drugs & gambling. It's mostly in your head. You'll have to man up and start speaking your mind, stand up for your ideas and beliefs. (Dont be an complete asshole tho) You are repressing your anger, emotions and turning this: into an dangerous and toxic limiting belief. Speak up. Learn how to gain confidence, stop lying to yourself and others, question your beliefs and shit will change. I've been there and done that. Good luck!

Yeah it's perfectly normal. We tend to focus on the things in our appearance that we don't like, completely pushing the whole picture out the way. I think that practising self-love is the key here. And of course fixing what you can fix - hair, style, develop social sklls etc. And learn to love the things that you can't change - height, voice, facial structure etc.

Yes, I agree with the above. His old videos (5 - 7 years old) were the first ones that I encountered, they were the intro to my journey of self actualizing. I was in a really bad 'place' back then. Even tho I also disagree with his point of view and most of his teachings these days, it does not mean that they are Wrong or Right. They might not be suitable for YOU today or at this point in life, but that does not mean that they won't be usefull or Right for others. Some of them are exactly opposite of what Leo teaches us, which might explain why people on this forum view Hulse as shit these days. Stop projecting.

First of all, congrats for making it out of a 3rd world country, not everyone has this privilege. 1. Always wear a condom. 1.Try to make friends within college, it will be a lot more easier for you to get trough courses/lectures/homeworks etc. 2. Also try to be socially active, but watch out for drugs/alcohol/gambling. I don't think that there is a need to explain that.

My primary school math teacher is now ~ 90 years old and understands how computers work, calculates and is able to pay her own bills via online, understands and can calculate loan percentages (she pays for her son) etc. On the other hand mu friends dad, who is ~50 years old and has abused alcohol for the last 6 or so years, doesn't even understand whats being said to him, you have to repeat each sentence slowly and clearly for him to understand. I think human brain is like a muscle, it needs to be properly trained for it to function properly all trough life.

I create literally imaginary boxes in my head where I put labels with categories on then, then put ideas/to-do lists/beliefs/memories into them. lol.

Ahhh. Alright, I was more or less on the right track then, but overthinking about it is how I made it more compicated. Thanks mate, I still lol at your signature tho.

So I've been on this journey of self help for about a year now and been meditating almost daily for ~6 months now (30 mins). ~5 months ago I started doing +- serious enlightenment work by doing self-enquiry every other day, sometimes daily (40mins). No psychedelics. Recently I managed to get trough the phase of asking questions "Who am I?" "What is I?" What are thoughts, what is that voice in my head, what is language?" etc. And managed to get to the phase of just "looking" or focusing on direct experience without active thoughts (Atleast for periods up to ~1min x maybe 3-5 times during my session) I thought that, this is it - I've finally managed to realise what is this "I" "What am I?" (container of previous experience, thoughts->emotions, story, beliefs etc) and focused on direct experience. I've experienced existential terror when I managed to temporarily remove the I from myself, or atleast deatach from it up to ~1min during my sessions. Anyway, today while doing self-enquiry I realised that I've been chasing my own tail all this time. I've been asking myself who am I? I finally really realized what do you guys mean when you say "Who's asking?" Well - That same nasty little pecker who's acting that it doesn't know who is "I" is the "I" itself! It's sort of paradoxical. So my question is - Am I finally on the right track? - is this the end of the verbal "phase" and further includes only observing the "I" without thinking about it? Any tips? Thanks.

This is helpfull, But Isn't focusing attention on the thought/sense of "I" is yet again "I" just looking at "I" and "I" creating "I" ? Isn't it the same never ending cycle? In fact this is what I'm actually doing while self-enquiring.

Yes, of course this is helpfull, I'll integrate this into my meditation sessions. But what about self-enquiry .. What to do with "I"? I mean even tho I've spent months bamboozling myself - looping trough the cycle of looking for "I" while "I" was itself the one who's looking for itself. But it still is here. By this I mean that I still feel a sense of seperation from other things, I still turn my head when someone says my name. I still continue to do self development exercises improoving the various areas in life of the "I". Should I just turn down the mental chatter and stop looking for "I" ? Continue focusing on the current experience? Or should I continue questioning?