LeeMills77

Thanks - this looks interesting. I'll check it out. Lee.

Hi everybody, I’ve come to a realisation recently of an issue I have had my entire life and it’s only this last few months what it actually is. I’m a 41 year old man and I come across as nervous, stressed and appear incapable. This isn’t always the case in all matters – only in new areas I’m working in. My father wasn’t never like this, but it dawned on me where I picked up this behaviour from – my mother. I was mostly brought up by her for most of my childhood; I remember she was always nervous, stressed about everything and blew even small issues into mountains. My question is – how can I overcome this and train those behaviours out of me? Just a curious question I thought I’d pose to you. Lee.

Hi all, I just want to run past you guys a mental problem I have – I’m a 40 year old man, and my life has gradually improved from 35 onwards. Before that, I was a bit of a failure of a person in many ways; didn’t do well in school, received poor advice from my parents; mistreated by various family members, school friends and even in jobs. Finally graduated from university in 2016 and have slowly moved up in the world with various small accomplishments. Uni transformed me as a person; I developed the discipline of reading, studying and writing. I have become a very interesting person to talk to as I have very wide range of interests. I have a range of skills I’ve developed in my work place (Excel, organising and being very savvy with a computer). In addition, I went to the gym and gained 3 stone and now look much healthier and fitter (and get a lot more attention from women). I have one problem – my current employment have big plans for me (so I believe). They have mentioned they want me to work in asset management and 4 of the company directors all started out in asset management and so it’s expected of me to also become a director later on. Because of how I’ve been treated in the past and my background, this prospect terrifies me. I know most people would think it’s a great opportunity and would love to have it, but I have a genuine fear I cannot do the job and will fail spectacularly (and be exposed as somebody who doesn’t know what he is doing). I think the solution is to change my mindset about this – how can I have this confidence about my abilities? What can I do to effectively ‘forget’ the pre-35 me (if that makes sense?) I seem to have succeeded at most things I’ve had a go at; I think I have the abilities to succeed at this too but my thoughts hinder me (and I think certain behaviours too). Thanks for reading and hope to hear some words of advice. Lee.

Hi peeps, Thanks for the video, the book recommendations and the advice on how to improve. I've noted this and begin putting into the practice what was mentioned. Thanks all for this. Lee.

Hi peeps, Just a question about verbal comprehension I'm curious about. I'm not particularly fluent when speaking, or writing. I decided to spend 45 minutes a day learning new words, their meanings, etymology and synonyms. However, since doing this for a few weeks, I have real difficulty remembering what I've learnt. I still can't recall those words I've remembered and revert to using simple words I've used over and over. Do I accept I don't have this ability to recall words, or do I change strategy use a more efficient way of studying? Any help / tips would be appreciated. Thanks all, Lee.

1 - Yes, you are correct. I should have been more specific - their brains are identical in that they are the same size and they can function normally. However, one has the ability to abstract and analyse to a much greater extent. 2. Yes - so there is there something we can do. But to what extent? If only there was a way of boosting IQ into the 150+ Range! Thanks for the reply Leo, Lee.

Hi peeps, Just a query really as I’m puzzled why our brains are the way they are. Not sure what my IQ is but it’s probably between 100 and 120. So, not a genius but some brains to achieve some limited success. My question is – why are some people absolute geniuses, with a verbal iq of 170 and can quickly grasp concepts and analytically pull apart concepts within minutes, while other people really cannot function at all; they can never understand concepts and have difficulty even following instructions. And yet, they have the same brain. What is that difference between their brains? Is there anything that can be done to boost their neural connections? I ask because I would sacrifice a hell of a lot to boost my IQ by even 10-15 points. I understand games like Luminous don’t work, but I like to think the film Limitless could happen. Any ideas? Thanks, Lee.

Hi Ontology, Thanks for the reply. Yeah, that is a very good suggestion. I'll think of ways of mapping out patterns to respond to new situations. Thanks again, Lee.

i all, I'm posting this because I'm unable to find anything online about this topic. My aim is to retrain the way I think about my job. Currently, it's like I'm passive and weak when it comes to taking actions and being thorough. However, this is causing all kinds of problems for me. I work with a Manager and I do similar work to him and I'll be working on an account and he'll come along and ask how I'm getting along and he'll suddenly ask questions I hadn't thought of and he can resolve issues quickly. I seem to miss all of this. To give you some examples: I've been contacting a client by email; he asked why I hadn't phoned? Yes, why didn't I? Another account I've worked on - they weren't completing work I have sent over; he asked if I had told them or escalated it? No, again I had not. I can provide many more examples of this. Overall, my work is good but it falls short of where I want to be. My question is - can I retrain how I think about the above issues and be decisive and thorough and have it where I've covered the issues my manager will also cover? The only thing I can do is write out the entire episode and list all the potential actions I can take so next time, I have a kind of 'mental script' to refer to. Also, it seems to help if I see myself as a Manager and somebody came to me with those issues, I know exactly what to do. Yet when I think of myself doing it, I become passive and weak. Any ideas? Thanks all, Lee.

Hi all, I need help with a problem I have - I never seem to answer the question at work. I receive email from my managers asking me how an account is progressing and instead of keeping it short and to the point, I waffle and explain things they don’t really need to know and include information they never asked for. I don’t know why I do it, but I know when I’m doing it. I need to practice at this - are there any books or guides out there that I can practice with to help me answer the question? I don’t really want to go to my managers and ask this as I’m a little embarrassed by this. I know I can do this and I’m a good learner - I just need some guidance and quickly. Anybody have any suggestions at how I can write an email and answer the question first time? Thanks all, Lee.