soos_mite_ah

It's easier to let go of emotions once we have fully felt, experienced, and learned from them and what they are trying to tell you. We only grow attached to something (emotions or otherwise) when we feel that there is something left un-experienced because of a lack of presence and therefore a lack of being.

@tuckerwphotography Yeah those look like a very rough estimate. I wouldn't be surprised if you were close. But then again, there can also be large differences in regions (west/east cost vs middle america, rural vs. suburbs vs. urban, north vs. south) as well in different socioeconomic groups (POC vs. white people, rich vs poor etc.). There isn't this even distribution when it comes to percentages. The U.S. has a wide range and if you're into spiral dynamics, I'd argue that it's the perfect place to sink your teeth into. There are so many different types of people here.

As some of the comments in this thread have said, dealing with toddlers at red =/= dealing with predators and murders (that's a separate issue) lmao Have you ever had to deal with a small child? Sure they can be annoying sometimes but they aren't dangerous or psychotic. In fact most of the times they are pretty sweet and not a nightmare lol. Just establish some clear boundaries even if they kick and scream and don't stoop down to their level because that fucks them up and teaches them that bullying people works. If they get that type of message, then they won't want to grow out of red down the line. By not responding/ giving in, you'll basically condition them to thinking "hey, maybe kicking and screaming doesn't help me get my way or get me any attention." Most kids have empathy even when they are young. They are mainly at stage red because they are still figuring out who they are and building their egos accordingly. You can appeal to their reason/ empathy after they have calmed down with a time out. Also just because you're at red doesn't mean you're an emotionless psychopath. Honestly, I've seen psychopaths operate in higher stages than red so its not like they are isolated in one particular stage of development.

I wouldn't say most of the country is in blue and orange, thought I would say that there is a large chunk. There is a lot of people moving into green especially when it comes to women, minorities, and young people because we have to learn how to deal with diversity more and more. There is a demographic shift happening in the U.S. and it is predicted that white people will no longer be the majority by 2030 or so. Because of that, a lot of white people (especially the old ones who still think of the 1950s as the good ol days) are getting triggered because of racism and nationalism and that's why you see so much of an ego backlash in politics today with people like Trump stroking the fires. This is common with demographic shifts and influxes of immigrants. A similar thing also happened in the late 1800s and early 1900s where white people in the U.S. discriminated against Irish and Italian citizens. It seems really silly now and I wouldn't be surprised if that's how we view Hispanic people or Asian people in a 100 or so years. This will die down eventually. Also after 2008, a lot of young people began being very critical with capitalism. The green leaning portion of this group (which is most) is open to alternatives such as socialism and Bernie Sanders but the blue leaning portion of this group instead puts the blame on minorities which is why there is still a sizable amount of young people you support Trump. Young people are also historically much more nonreligious compared to older generations. There is a consistent decline over the years. But the real challenge is dealing with the corporations I'd say.

I mean if that's what you feel is holding you back sure. Its going to be different for everyone. And its ok if you have an expressionless resting face. I have the same problem too lol but when you're talking to someone it doesn't hurt to just smile a little.

Kids will normally outgrow that by the time they are 5 or so and at that age, they don't even know how to manipulate people like that. Sure you have to deal with tantrums and the like and therefore have to discipline them but often times going into red yourself as the parent can open doors up to abuse. You don't have to go into red to deal with red, in fact it isn't the best idea especially when it comes to kids.

@Don Wei Yeah as long as you're honest with your intentions there isn't anything wrong. Not everyone wants relationships (guy or girl) and that is okay. But its still necessary to have a normal conversation or maybe a date and get to know people on a surface level before going forth with anything both as a general courtesy of "hey I see you as a person" and from a safety perspective as well.

No, we call guys creeps when they have done some weird shit. I've also been creeped out by guys I have found attractive as well. Sure if you're attractive you have a larger margin of error, but eventually girls and their friends catch on and then they will avoid you like the plague. It isn't as straight forward as physical attraction = want to date/ have sex. When it comes to dating and sex most of us also look for additional factors such as personality, willingness to respect boundaries etc. You don't get a free pass with creepy behavior just based on looks. I see this with a lot with guys in general where they scapegoat their looks as the problem when it really is something else because it's easier to play victim when it comes to being ugly since there is this assumption of how there is only so much you can do.

As a woman, it isn't uncommon to always be on guard around men (consciously or unconsciously). There is this sense of vulnerability wherever you go and even if you don't see yourself as vulnerable, other people around you do so that kind of becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy on a societal scale and you become an easy target. There is this presumption that a lot of guys mainly look at us as sex objects and define us by our beauty. This isn't necessarily the act of any one individual person but its more so implied systemically by how society markets to us, how we get treated in the workplace etc. This is obviously different in the case something like sex work or doing something scandalous in a music video since in those cases a lot of the time there is consent involved where the woman herself wants to present herself in that light if that makes sense. Also there is this notion that guys only want one thing and that's sex. They don't want to have a relationship, they don't want to get to know us as individual people, they want to pump and dump (think fuck boy culture, dick pics etc.) even if rape isn't in the question. Like sure a guy may think you're attractive, but that doesn't mean they want to date or get to know you. When it does come to sexual assault most of us have experienced either it or came close to experiencing it, or know someone who has. Because of that, we're always on guard whether we are alone or with other people consciously or subconsciously (think of why women go to the bathroom in groups). Sure most guys aren't rapists but there is a power dynamic that is at play in society as whole and there is a consistent pattern. And even if something does happen to us, it is often painted as the woman's fault (i.e. she shouldn't have worn that, why was she drinking etc.) or we aren't believed (i.e. she's making this up for attention, he's a really good guy he would never etc.). So because of that, we try to be even more on guard to prevent ourselves from ever being in that position by doing things like keeping pepper spray, tasers, not going to gas stations in the middle of the night, not going on walks after dark etc. Most women have had to think this stuff through because we don't want to get killed. I pretty much agree with this quote. Basically approach with empathy rather than being super sexual from the get go. The only thing that i disagree with is that there is a small percentage of guys who can get away with it. It's very VERY small. Even if you're hot, that doesn't change it from being weird. If a girl has any type of self confidence (as in she isn't desperate for any type of attention) or common sense, she will steer clear from that type of behavior. That doesn't mean you can't approach girls or date, absolutely not, but lead with empathy. It isn't hard for us to find someone to fuck, it is hard however to find someone decent to get into a relationship with. Also a lot of girls prefer to date people they know in their social circles and meet guys through friends as opposed to being approach by random guys just fyi for further context.

The first thought I had was Obama

Disagree: There are plenty of asexual people who enter into relationships with no intention to reproduce or with any reason to find someone attractive. Also, i'm guessing you're talking about romantic/sexual relationships because relationships in general can be a very broad topic that includes things such as friends, family, and acquaintances as well. But I will agree that even those relationships can have a lot to do with survival, socially and otherwise. Because of that I would suggest defining relationships as a way people interact with others or their environment to get their needs met.

I have done a lot of work in therapy. There you can talk about your past relationships and if there are any other patterns that show up that you want to look at and you can also tackle things in regards to your family relationships. Analyzing family relationships and they dynamics that are present there can be extremely beneficial since those are the first relationships you have as a kid and can therefore often times set the tone for additional relationships down the road, especially romantic ones. Think of the ways you relate to your parents in regards to how they treated you and what kinds of healthy and unhealthy coping mechanisms you learned from them. Also you can look at your parent's relationship to see what was modeled for you and what patterns you're taking from there. You can also explore feelings and issues that came up in your previous relationships to both grieve and learn lessons from those situations. This is largely a case by case situation (idk what your last relationship was like), but if something ended, there is likely a reason (unless yall just naturally grew apart and took different paths in life but even then you could look at the flaws that were there in yalls dynamic and still improve). Also, this might be a personal thing, but being really in tuned with your emotions so that you can open up to people and also establish boundaries in a relationship is huge. It's difficult to know where your boundaries lie when you aren't tuned into what you emotionally do and don't like. Knowing what you are and aren't willing to tolerate can help you zero in on what kind of relationship you want and who you want a relationship with. Validating what you do and don't want and honoring your boundaries can also help with becoming more confident in a relationship as well since you aren't hiding parts of yourself for the sake of the other person rather you are letting yourself just be. This is by no means the end all be all of what you can do as a lot of it can vary with personal needs but I would say that this can be the start.

Anger can be extremely helpful in understanding where your boundaries lie and what makes you tick. You can then work through any blockages you have from the past or communicate those boundaries with the another person after calming down so that you can work on the problem constructively. Knowing where your boundaries lie helps you keep yourself safe in the long run both emotionally and physically. After calming down, you can evaluate whether that boundary needs to be enforced (i.e. people are trying to take advantage of you) or if that boundary needs to be healed (ie you get into an argument with a friend and they are making sense but your ego feels hurt so you want to lash out). That you need to take on a case by case basis. I also really liked this comment on this thread:

Self Development Won't Make You a Better Person I often find myself falling into the trap of assuming that self development will make me a better person. Sometimes I catch myself falling into a pit of self deprecation when doing self-development work as I keep searching for more and more things I need to improve and heal. During those times, I normally take a break from the work I'm doing and shift from self growth and towards self acceptance. I find that this is a balance that most who are willing to take self development seriously eventually encounters But after watching this video, I tried to reconsider this balancing act of self growth and self acceptance. Why do these two have to be in the opposite ends of a spectrum? I think one of the many reasons why this spectrum appears in the first place is the notion that self development makes you a better person and therefore gives you more worth. This notion of being a better person making you more worthy of love and acceptance is the root of the toxic reason why I got into self improvement. While I did get into self improvement for a variety of healthy reasons such as wanting to have a better quality of life, being happier, having more fulfilling relationships etc. one of the less healthy reasons include feeling like there is something wrong with me which meant that I had to change. Since I have found this aspect to my desire for self improvement, I have been trying to do shadow work to become more accepting of myself. This video was a game changer for the way I viewed this issue.

I don't know about transcending but they can definitely be met fully. The extent in which that need is there often depends on individual factors such as personality, upbringing, attachment styles etc. I feel that if you are extremely extroverted, were brought up in an environment where you never learned to be by yourself (i.e. many siblings etc), or have an insecure attachment style, you're more likely to have high social needs and feel like they will never be met. This can especially be the case if high social needs are due to neurotic reasons such as an insecure attachment style or any other trauma that makes you yearn for attention all the time. Personally, I grew up the opposite. I am rather introverted and can go a long time without human interaction. I was raised as an only child so I had to be emotionally independent from a young age. I also really like meditating and being alone with my thoughts. I don't have huge social needs but those are usually met by having a couple of friends, talking to people at work/school, and forums that have to do with my interests such as this one. I don't yearn for anything more usually when a lot of these are met so it's not like a bottomless pit. There was a point in time where my social needs were like a bottomless pit due to things like trauma and not having my needs validated in childhood but I have since worked through a lot of those things through both therapy as well as my own independent self development.

Stillness Lately, as soon as I wake up, I feel ridiculously peaceful. I have no impulses, little to no thoughts, and my only focus is on my breathing and being present. This has happened for the last few days. Yesterday I spent most of my day in a lot of solitude. Today, as soon as I felt this sense of peace, I decided to meditate on it for a few hours to really be with it. I'm not entirely sure why I have been feeling this way lately, but I really like it. I have been meditating here and there for the last number of years (most of it was me unintentionally laying around doing nothing and just being alone with my thoughts), but now I'm thinking of taking on meditation more seriously. I have one idea however. Recently I have made the decision to go fully online with college. My university gave us a choice on whether or not we want to go online over the fall semester because of COVID 19. I was pretty conflicted about this decision. On one hand I wanted to go back to school even though I could risk catching the virus. I had to come back home with my parents for the last 5 months or so now in the middle of the semester. My mental health deteriorated because my parents can be kind of toxic and I feel like I didn't grow as much as I could have this year because I was stuck at home. I didn't get to study abroad. I didn't get an internship. And now I have to live at home for the next few more months. In a way, this lack of expansion made me feel like I was emotionally stunted, like I was 14 again. That also took a toll on me. I feel like I'm not stepping into my independence like how I planned it out to be. Because of this, I was averse to the idea of staying at home for the fall semester because of the implications of my mental health. On the other hand, going back to school can be risky for my physical health. There is a virus out there and although it isn't super deadly for me, you just never know how the long term impact could be because research is still being conducted. I could also spread it to other people. This could also be harmful to my parents, not because of exposure because if I were to go back I wouldn't bring it to them, but because they will be worrying constantly for my physical well being. As much as I don't always like them, I don't think it's right to put them in a constant state of anxiety. Also, by remaining at home, I won't have to pay an additional $4000 for room and board. Even though my family can afford that, I don't think it's right to unnecessarily spend that money especially since both of my parents got a sizable pay cut because of this pandemic. Also in regards to my mental health, I don't think that staying home is something that will totally break me. It's important but I think it comes down to more of a preference that is rooted in the idea of "just because you can take it, doesn't mean you have to." But here, the situation is different and even though I don't want to, I can ultimately take it. I ultimately made the decision that the later reasons to stay home is more sustainable both for my family and for the people around me even though it isn't the best for my personal mental well being. I also thought about how wanting to go back is at odds with what I believe is right which is the notion that we need to social distance as much as possible. In doing this sacrifice, I reflected what I was giving up. I was giving up my need to constantly be growing, my need to feel like an independent adult, my desire to always be in the best mental health. While all these things are good, for me personally, I feel that some of them came from my egoic desires to prove myself as something even if it is at the expense of my environment. Perhaps this stillness and peace that I feel now is the result of me letting go of this egoic motive.

@Opo It's pretty kid friendly. I stumbled onto this show when I was 8 years old and I enjoyed it a lot then because of the engaging plot and the humor of the show. However, I would say to fully take in the show and understand all of the concepts, 14 or so sounds like a better age. It's really a show for all ages, you just get different things out of it depending on where you're at in your life.

I know this is an animated children's TV show but don't underestimate it. It has a lot of higher consciousness teachings and lessons that everyone can learn from. I'll divide this post into different parts of the spiral so that it is more organized. Stage Green: The main premise of the show is that the protagonist needs to defeat the Fire Lord. The Fire Nation is a nation that developed quite quickly because of the nature of the element they bend fire, and as a result got pushed into their version of the Industrial Revolution (stage orange). However, the Fire Nation also has a lot of blue and red in it and wanted to "spread their prosperity to the other nations" by conquering and manipulating them with violent means. This resulted in the Hundred Year War, colonization of other lands, and ultimately the genocide of the air nomads. Taking all of this into consideration, the show takes a stage green approach to really articulate everything that is wrong with these things throughout the entire series. And the best part is, despite having many heavy themes, they are all portrayed in a kid friendly way while not sugar coating or diminishing the issues. I remember when I first watched this show as a child, I related to the characters and thought it was a really cool action series but when I revisited as an adult, I really understood the concepts much better On top of the main themes, other side stage green things the show touches on are animal rights (Season 2 Episode 16: "Appas Lost Days"), sexism (S1E1 "Boy in the Iceberg" S1E4"The Warriors of Kyoshi" S1E18 "The Waterbending Master"), disabilities (this wasn't one episode but was encompassed by entire characters such as Toph and Teo), cultural appropriation (S1 E17 "The Northern Air Temple") and mental health (dealing with loss, dealing with abusive family members, Azula's mental break down etc) just to name a few. As far as character development goes, all of the characters are well rounded and complex. The show especially excels at representation. The female characters all have their unique form of femininity whether it is Suki, Katara, Ty Lee, or Azula, regardless of whether they are protagonists or antagonists. On top of that each culture in Avatar the Last Airbender are modeled after a different culture in real life. The Fire Nation is based on Japan and it's colonial past. The Earth Kingdom is based on China. The Air Nomads are based on Tibetan Monks. The Water Tribe is based on the Native Americans. The Sun Warriors are based of Mayan Civilization. Those are just to name a few but the show has amazing representation for Asian and Native American cultures. But I believe that all of this was done in a excellent way for people in other spirals. The show does introduce stage green concepts without being overly preachy or controversial to the point where it triggers people who aren't green that are likely also watching the show. I believe they can be used to articulate larger conversations and help people understand the point of view of green. I wouldn't say that it would directly push people to green, but it will plant seeds if that makes any sense. Stage Yellow: The show does a good job at not demonizing the Fire Nation, despite them being the antagonists of the show. On an individual level, you see a lot of humanization whether it is from the beginning from Prince Zuko and Uncle Iroh and how their redemption arc flourished, or in the end of Princess Azula's mental break down in the final battle. On the collective level the show also brings into question the differentiation between soldier and civilian (S1E10 "Jet") as well as showing the propaganda that is in Fire Nation culture (all of season 3 but especially S3E2 "The Headband" and S3E17 "The Ember Island Player" because they directly deal with ideology and propaganda). Also S2 E10 "The Library" calls the audience to question who they're even rooting for. This episode is when the characters walk into Wan Shi Tongs Library, a library infinite knowledge (I think it was supposed to be based on the Library of Alexandria). When Sokka says something along the lines of "with this infinite knowledge, we can defeat the Fire Nation and end the Hundred Year War" the librarian, Wan Shi Tong, depicted by a really creepy owl that gave me nightmares as a kid, gets angry and asks the kids and the audience "do you think you're the first ones in this library who believed that their side of a war is justified?" Firstly this is important because even though the Fire Nation has created chaos for the other nations, it establishes the protagonists position as yet, just another perspective. Additionally, I think it also addresses the desire to use knowledge for our own egotistical desires such as war instead of a healthy system. The show also depicts the cycle of war and how victims can become perpetrators of further violence because of the bitterness that comes with loss. This is first introduced in S1 E10 "Jet" where a group of orphaned kids basically beat up innocent Fire Nation civillians as well as wipe out entire settlements because of the pain they felt because their villages were burned to the ground and their parents were killed by the Fire Nation. It is also delved into on S3 E16 "The Southern Raiders" where Katara tried to hunt down and kill the man who led the raid on her village and killed her mother. While Katara is kind and loving for much of series, this episode delves into other more painful parts of her character. The pain of the loss even caused her to use waterbending techniques that basically went against her regular moral compass. Another episode where this is discussed is in S3 E8 "The Puppet Master" where Hama manipulates (and in some cases tortures) Fire Nation civilians using her powers because of they way she was hunted and imprisoned earlier in the war as a young woman. I also think elements of stage yellow can also be seen by how the show articulates green concepts as I mentioned earlier in this post. It doesn't push anything on it's viewers and lets the audience draw their own conclusions. Because of that the show is seen as progress and if I recall correctly, has faced little to no controversy from anyone really. I also think its smart to depict stage green concepts in a fictional universe to people who aren't at green so there is some personal distance between their egos and the issues and as a result they can see the limitations of their stages in a more objective manner. Stage Turquoise: Finally, the show scratches the surface of stage turquoise. Because the world is based on Asian culture, there are concepts of Eastern philosophy that is scattered throughout the show. Some examples include death being an illusion, separation being an illusion, letting go of egoic and worldly desires, and aligning chakras. The best episode for this is S2 E19 "The Guru." I have seen previous posts on this website talking about it more in depth and I'd recommend people check those out. Its a great way to introduce people, especially children, to concepts regarding nonduality without over complicating anything while still getting the message across. But yeah, those are some of my thoughts on this show. I got a lot from it as a kid, especially from the timeless humor that people still make memes about 15 years later, but I got so much more from it as an adult when I got more serious about self-development which is why I wanted to share all of this on this forum. I believe this show is a gem in general, but especially for kids because of the amount of complexities that are depicted in a simplistic manner.

Abbey Sharp is a licensed dietitian on YouTube who breaks and critiques down people's "what I eat in a day" videos. She also advocates for intuitive eating (has an entire series on it) and listening to your body instead of constantly going on crash diets. Her entire channel is amazing and she definitely helped me have a more healthier attitude towards food without restricting what I eat. And eventually, I didn't have to try to eat healthy, it felt pretty much automatic. I highly recommend

@Husseinisdoingfine THIS TOOK ME TF OUT LMAO . It honestly made my day

I brought up sex in regards to the spiral in another thread. I'm just copying and pasting what I had wrote down. I'm really curious about this subject and I want to know what yall think. As far as Beige is concerned, from what I understand is that stage has to do with being a baby and learning to walk, talk, properly see, and move through the world. I don't think there is much you can say on sex there. Purple/Red: Disregard future consequences. Have all the sex you want with as many people you want in your tribe or empire, be guided by your primal desires. Don't consider what other people think even if it violates consent. I wouldn't be surprised if prostitution was common in purple or red. Blue: Repression because of potential consequences (whether it is STDs, infidelity, or God's wrath). Expectation to not have sex because or else you are a whore going against God's will. I wouldn't be surprised if notions of purity have come up in stage blue because of the prevalence of STDs since historically not everyone had the means to contraceptives and the only way to control people was through dogma. (Here I think it's good to integrate potential consequences and thinking ahead) Orange: Backlash against blue. Expectation to participate in hook up culture or else you're some repressed prude. Sex isn't some sacred thing, you just blow your load and that's it. Blue sees this desire to make sex secular as a way of potentially going back to purple/red because casual sex is seen as barbaric and unorderly. (Here I think it's good to integrate the idea that sex isn't dirty, there is nothing wrong with casual sex as long as it's safe and consensual, and that there shouldn't be religious justifications for repressing sex) Green: Emphasis on consent. Do what feels right granted that it feels authentic and isn't rooted in society's or other people's pressure. Don't shame people for saying yes or no. Feminism also comes in because it emphasizes how the patriarchy shames women, and sometimes men, for saying yes or no. I mention men because not all men want sex but there are notions of masculinity in the patriarchy that paints men as these sex hungry creatures and if you don't want sex, there is something wrong with you and you aren't manly. Sex is more emotionally intimate and can be held as sacred for some people (especially in the case of some new age spiritual people). Orange has a backlash against this because why would sex be something that can be seen as sacred on an emotional level. That looks like it's regressing back to blue. (Here it's good to integrate other people's views so that they can coexist whether their views may be for casual sex ,for waiting, for embracing sexuality with someone you care about for spiritual reasons, or for things such as gay sex if that is your orientation) Yellow: Emphasis on understanding other perspectives. Like green, yellow wants to have a more holistic approach to understanding different people's perspectives. However, it isn't triggered like green when it comes to repression or hookup culture because it sees the rest of the spiral. Also sex is cool at yellow, there is nothing wrong with having it or not having it, but there are other things in life that catches its attention such as research and analysis of models. (Here, it's good to integrate that sex is nice but isn't a necessity for living a good life. You can let go of desires or not let go, but neither choice comes from a place of repression. This fluidity is because you aren't clinging to your sexuality) *I'm not sure about yellow tbh but this is my observation Turquoise: I genuinely have no idea

I don't like how people think it's repressive. I can see why that view exists and I think it's because of why people would refrain from sex historically. As a result, a lot of people tend to tie in waiting with shame around sex. If it's 100% your choice, I don't think you're repressing anything. In order to repress something, the feelings have to be there and denied. If your desire to have sex isn't there because you genuinely want to wait, the feelings aren't there in the first place so there is nothing to deny. That's like telling me that I'm repressing my anger by not expressing it when I'm not angry in the first place. As long as you aren't chaining anyone and expecting anyone to abide by your personal standards (which you aren't), there is no repression involved. And since some people want to bring the spiral into this, here are my thoughts: Purple/Red: Disregard future consequences. Have all the sex you want with as many people you want in your tribe or empire, be guided by your primal desires. Don't consider what other people think even if it violates consent. Blue: Repression because of potential consequences (whether it is STDs, infidelity, or God's wrath). Expectation to not have sex because or else you are a whore going against God's will. I wouldn't be surprised if notions of purity have come up in stage blue because of the prevalence of STDs since historically not everyone had the means to contraceptives and the only way to control people was through dogma. (Here I think it's good to integrate potential consequences and thinking ahead) Orange: Backlash against blue. Expectation to participate in hook up culture or else you're some repressed prude. Sex isn't some sacred thing, you just blow your load and that's it. Blue sees this desire to make sex secular as a way of potentially going back to purple/red because casual sex is seen as barbaric and orderly. (Here I think it's good to integrate the idea that sex isn't dirty, there is nothing wrong with casual sex as long as it's safe and consensual, and that there shouldn't be religious justifications for repressing sex) Green: Emphasis on consent. Do what feels right granted that it feels authentic and isn't rooted in society's or other people's pressure. Don't shame people for saying yes or no. Feminism also comes in because it emphasizes how the patriarchy shames women, and sometimes men, for saying yes or no. I mention men because not all men want sex but there are notions of masculinity in the patriarchy that paints men as these sex hungry creatures and if you don't want sex, there is something wrong with you and you aren't manly. Sex is more emotionally intimate and can be held as sacred for some people (especially in the case of some new age spiritual people). Orange has a backlash against this because why would sex be something that can be seen as sacred on an emotional level. That looks like it's regressing back to blue. (Here it's good to integrate other people's views so that they can coexist whether their views may be for casual sex ,for waiting, for embracing sexuality with someone you care about for spiritual reasons, or for things such as gay sex if that is your orientation) Yellow: Emphasis on understanding other perspectives. Like green, yellow wants to have a more holistic approach to understanding different people's perspectives. However, it isn't triggered like green when it comes to repression or hookup culture because it sees the rest of the spiral. Also sex is cool at yellow, there is nothing wrong with having it or not having it, but there are other things in life that catches its attention such as research and analysis of models. (Here, it's good to integrate that sex is nice but isn't a necessity for living a good life. You can let go of desires or not let go, but neither choice comes from a place of repression. This fluidity is because you aren't clinging to your sexuality) *I'm not sure about yellow tbh but this is my observation Turquoise: I genuinely have no idea

I'm just going off of how I shifted from green to more yellow I would try to convey how if you want to make lasting change that helps women, minorities, and people disadvantaged by society, you need to tackle things on a systemic level to prevent false hierarchies from happening in the first place (this appeals for their value for flattening the hierarchies). Green in general advocates for the marginalized and opens their heart to them and I guess you could frame systems thinking as opening your heart to more than each group of people and rather to everyone as a whole. As far as shifting from more collective to individualistic again, I think that will happen more as a side effect of the above. From what i understand about yellow, its not that they don't value groups and interactions but it just comes in second to analyzing systems.

Just in general I don't see how wanting to wait til marriage is regressing to traditional norms as long as waiting is genuinely what you want and isn't rooted with what other people or society thinks of you which includes notions of purity etc. It's also problematic to expect a person to not wait simply because of societal norms when they have made it clear that they do want to wait. What I'm trying to say is that waiting isn't regressive. Doing things because of other people 's expectations or society (regardless of if that means having sex or not) is what is actually regressive. In other words. Do you.

@Roy Also to add on to that. Sex is not an act of charity, it's a personal choice. If anyone is put off by you wanting to wait, that's okay, they are allowed to have their own needs but they need to find someone else and you need to honor your needs as well. That would weed those people out and eventually you'll find someone else who is also willing to wait and as a result, no one will feel deprived (that is if both parties are being honest with themselves) which leads to a more healthy relationship. Sex is not a given in every relationship and it isn't anything that anyone is entitled towards regardless of gender since it is a personal choice.