soos_mite_ah

I know that i didn't feel my body, smell, sight, or sensation. Not sure about my mind. There was just this weird feeling of absolute interconnectedness in the void.

Raging, punching things, and getting that triggered about something to where you hurt someone you care about is the opposite of being higher consciousness. This person sounds abusive. Whether a person watches Leo's videos or talks about consciousness has nothing to do with the way this person is treating you. I definitely agree with this quote. It is more constructive than anything your s.o. is saying. This person is likely acting out of a lot of insecurity in regards to losing you and your ability to express yourself. Acting out of insecurity=/= consciousness

Career can still be pretty important in the other stages. It just becomes more purposeful because the values have shifted from pursuing money and status just for it's sake to pursuing a higher sense of life purpose.

I had a similar problem regarding repressed anger. Often times I would repress my anger instead of expressing it and then spiral into depression because of this feeling of helplessness and not advocating for my needs and boundaries. I would say that it's important to see anger as a constructive and helpful emotion. Anger can identify what is going wrong in your life, where your boundaries lie, and what you need to change. It is a more active form of sadness where instead of sitting around, moping and playing victim, you have the split second urge to do something about your situation. In that way, anger is more productive and can help protecting your general sense of well being. However, I would still say it's good to integrate anger management techniques and not lash out at people and be destructive. Instead, calm down, and listen to what your anger is telling you instead of acting on impulse. Repressing anger is not the same thing as calming down and listening to what anger as to say. I highly recommed this video by Teal Swan

I would say yes, generally, more consciousness yields to more effectiveness. The higher stages typically have already integrated things from the lower stages in a healthy way. In regards to green being lazy hippies, I would be very careful with that stereotype. Stage green can be immensely beneficial to corporations because there is more of a concern for people's rights, a sense of equality, people's general well being, and limits to how many hours one can work. All of these things ensure that workers are happy, motivated, and energized enough to work in their most effective and productive state. I had to study a lot of this in a few of my management courses in college. If there is a lack of justice and equality in an organization and if it is too hierarchical, people are not going to want to work in that company. They will leave or get fired really soon and then it will cost more time, money, and resources to train new employees which can rack up a lot of costs in a corporation. Another example is that if you focus on the end goal, say get as much profit as possible in one quarter, rather than how ethical the practices are done, there will be an incentive for illegal behaviors on behalf of the employees which can cause a company to face lawsuits, controversies, etc. which i would argue is the antithesis of efficiency. Finally, not taking people's needs into account whether that be their physical needs regarding their salaries and their advancement opportunities, or their emotional needs such as creating a healthy work environment, can lead to counterproductive work behaviors such as wasting resources (ie use too many materials, stealing supplies, not doing work), incivility and gossip, harassment, and sabotage, none of which are conducive to a efficient workplace. In many ways, green can be more efficient than orange. It is a huge generalization that stage green is all about being a lazy hippie. That is the equivalent of saying orange is mainly characterized by the Kardashians and nothing else. There is an immense amount of diversity and manifestations of every stage. However, while higher stages can usually yield to more efficiency, there are exceptions and one needs to also take context into mind. Sometimes, complex systems from higher systems can slow groups down. For instance if someone is running a small business with less than 10 people (sort of like in a stage purple sense) it would be counterproductive to introduce a lot of bureaucratic stage orange measures of communication (ie if you have some complaint, submit this form to this person etc. ) than to just directly talk to the person you're having a problem with. However, in a larger corporation of say 10000 people, that form of communication will aid in efficiency because it will organize the sentiments of a large group of people in a way that it is actually coherent and isn't a large mess of people trying to talk over each other. If you go up to a warlord type setting, I highly doubt that they will be receptive of a bunch of stage green ideals in management. If you approach it from that high of a stage, you'll probably get your throat slit for trying to flatten the hierarchy. Instead in a more red environment such as in the middle ages, it is more conducive to lead with red principals because they aid in your survival. Healthy is also something that is dependent on context and circumstance.

Lately I Haven't Felt Very Joyful I'm trying to sort through the feelings and shadows I have with unworthiness. I'm trying to be mindful and observe my feelings and deal with them as they come up but I cant help but feel like I'm being consumed by it. There is just so much coming to the surface, so much that I need to work through. I want to distract myself and not feel but I think that will be counter productive in the long run. I have been having crying spells and I have been feeling like I don't deserve to take up space. Nevertheless, I trust in the process. I believe in the long run I will be free than when I first started.

I have been stuck in the house with my parents for almost 5 months now. Normally I would be in college and I had plans to study abroad but because of the pandemic I had to move back home. I have since worked through a lot of family trauma in therapy so the good thing is that I'm not super triggered around my parents anymore. That said, I know deep down that I am not happy nor fulfilled here. It is rather draining to deal with them. I simply want to detach and move on. I tried to talk to my dad about this since he tends to be more understanding. I told him that I want to leave as soon as I become financially independent because even though I am not in pain, I simply don't like it here. He went on this whole thing on how I "don't have family values" how "blood is thicker than water" and how "there is no one like family because people outside of your family don't care about your best interests and will stop at nothing to screw you over." I know a lot of this has to do with trauma and his upbringing, but the whole concept that you should do anything for your family and take whatever is dealt to you rubs me the wrong way. I started thinking this way in regards to cutting my family out even before the pandemic started. In January, I went with my family to the Taj Mahal. It was a beautiful place and I enjoyed taking in the experience but I felt miserable during most of the trip my mom was yelling at the service workers and the rest of my family was going on rants about nationalism. It taught me that I could be in one of the most beautiful places. I could literally be standing in front of one of the seven wonders of the world, but with the wrong people around me, I simply won't be able to take any of that beauty in. It was heart breaking. I feel so trapped in this circumstance with no place to go, not because of the pandemic but because of narratives of how "family is the only one who is going to love you" that are being fed to me. As concerned as I am about the pandemic, I kinda can't wait to go back to college. I realized that I'd rather be alone during a pandemic than be with my family at paradise. My life is beautiful and I want to appreciate it to the fullest extent. I also grew up South Asian and I feel that this narrative of putting family first is so pushed on us and for a long time I thought that cutting off your family was simply a white people thing. I'm not mad, I'm not upset, I'm just done. I love my family, I just don't want to have anything to do with them.

Embracing my "negative" emotions and using them like my five senses to know what's going on was a huge eye opener to me. I stumbled upon this about a year ago. It wasnt from this video but I feel that Teal Swan sums it up pretty well. I definately recommend this to anyone working towards more joy. Working towards joy doesn't mean you shut everything else out rather it means you see these "negative" emotions in a positive light by embracing them. Also I feel that always putting pressure on feeling happy all the time is very counter productive and invalidating.

@Akemrelax my grandparents from both sides of my family have passed away unfortunately. But my grandmothet on my dad's side did live with us. Nevertheless, my dad doesn't expect me to stay by their side all the time I'm not super close with my dads side of the family and a lot of people in my moms side are like their own petri dish of issues. A lot of it has to do with generational trauma and after I found ways to heal, everyone just ceased to resonate with me. And yeah I'm thankful that there isnt the expectation that I'll stay with my parents until marriage thank godddd

@Gesundheit that's not necessarily the feminine perspective. That's just being desperate/lonely lol

@Akemrelax my parents are south asian and I grew up in the U.S. Growing up I had trouble opening up and talking to my non-south asian friends at school because I thought they wouldnt understand. With my south asian friends it's like they get how difficult it is on cutting your family off when you're south Asian because they know how much family and collectivism is emphasized but at the same time we are all stuck on the same boat so there is only so much any of us really knew. When I was still in school, I had pleanty of time outside of the house. During the pandemic I've just been stuck inside and my mom is paranoid af. I still try to go on drives to cope but it isnt the same. I definately love my parents and I know they love me too. They are doing the best they can given the tools they received in their emotional tool kit. But at the same time I often think it's best to just love them from afar.

As much as you might want to help, there isnt much that you can do here. Your friend needs to come to her own conclusions. Hell sometimes getting frustrated and trying to interfere to much can make people dig their heels in even more. There is nothing wrong with being a listening ear but I would say if it is draining you, it's best to put up boundaries and say something along the lines "hey I dont feel comfortable talking about this." If she reacts well, great but if she doesn't, that's on her. People only get mad at your boundaries if they benefited you from having none.

@dflores321 You're right, it does feel like it will take forever right now. But one day it is going to be a part of the past and its going to be like a dream because neither the past nor the future exist. They are both imaginary because they are the stories we tell ourselves. The only thing that is real is the present.

The YouTube channel Meet Kevin is a great channel for learning about real estate. While I'm not a huge real estate person, there is a lot you can get from his channel including his over all personality. I would characterize him as a very healthy orange with a some green Here is his channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/MeetKevin And here is someone who is describing what he's like behind the scenes: Idk how much of it is true since you can't ever be sure with the internet but if it is all true, this guy is the epitome of healthy orange.

I think this is a good video to watch if you're thinking of what are the positives of the ego. The ego can give a lot of insights of what's bothering you at the moment or red flags you encounter to keep you safe. The ego ultimately came into existence for your survival. Sometimes that is justified to keep you alive but other times it is like an over protective parent that holds you back from experiencing life. Its important to know how to differentiate the two. I'd go as far to say that the ego is a part of the self, mainly a dense protective form of it. Splitting and regecting the ego entirely is regecting that part of you which leads to duality and fragmentation. I think it's important to have a healthh ego and integrate it accordingly by loving it and finding beauty in it.

Yandere: anime trope where a woman is so in love with her love interest to where she is willing to kill him or kill for him so she could have him for herself Hunger games: I'm mainly referring to the games themselves where the kids fight to the death for the entertainment for the wealthy Fire lord ozai from avatar the last airbender: he challenged his son to a duel for being disrespectful after his son spoke out in a military meeting. That ended with him burning half of his sons face and him banishing his son. He also has statues around his kingdom where is depicted as this all powerful strong leader Princess Azula: she was the fire lord's daughter who was very cunning and brutal. The quote that came to mind when I was thinking of her in terms of the spiral is when she says "trust is for fools, fear is the only reliable way." She was raised to be a cold blooded killer by her father. I think her character arc, especially her mental breakdown is a good depiction of how red is created from circumstance rather than inborn psychopathy. State building during the middle ages: basically during the middle ages, there were a bunch of warlords in europe that went around conquering places. It became in peoples best interest to start paying taxes and band together with one warlord so that they can get some type of military protection from other warlords. These turned into kingdoms and its important because the strongest kingdoms eventually evolved into the states that we see as the european countries today

I've been in a particular mood lately Lower self: I'm tired of always having to be the bigger person (mainly with family). I'm only 5' 2" that isn't a realistic expectation lmao. Since I'm already closer to hell, can I just start biting people???? Higher self: If you always find yourself having to be the bigger person, maybe you need to find people who can measure up. It's not you, it's them. But you also have to ask yourself, what's stopping you from finding a new group of people? It's okay to feel weary from dealing with people who drain you, but it's an act of self betrayal to just stay there. Speaking of family, I have been noticing myself fantasizing getting disowned by my family by doing something that they think is unspeakable like marrying someone they don't approve of. I think it's because I don't want to be in a part of this family any more and it's easier for me to play victim and rely on them to disown me than to exit on my own. Because that way, I wouldn't be the bad person. But that's an excuse. Sometimes you need to own up to your truth, even if it makes you undesirable. Sometimes, you have to "be the bad guy." And honestly, in trying to avoid being the bad guy, often times you do something worse. I think it would be worse for me to stick around because firstly, its like this sense of self betrayal because I'm not letting myself be my authentic and joyful self, and second it is bad for them if I stick around and be distant, rude, and emotionally unavailable. One way to look at it is to re-contextualize it in a dating setting (because I take a much more no bs approach to guys than any other relationships in my life). Which option would be better: A) A guy who isn't really feeling it but tells you "hey this isn't working, im going to go on my own way don't take it personally" B) A guy who isn't really feeling it and doesn't communicate with you and instead is passive aggressive, leads you on, and emotionally unavailable The first option would probably sting for a minute but the second one will lead to long term damage on both ends by wasting everyone's time. It's best to walk in the light of the truth and keep everyone on the same page than to risk people getting hurt with a bunch of unspoken expectations. I need to go my own way. I'm simply not happy here. That evaluation isn't coming from pain. I have worked through much of these issues growing up and through therapy. I want to be surrounded by people who are more uplifting and who support my growth. I can stay in this situation and be fine but just because I can take it doesn't mean that I have to. There is something better out there and I want to reach towards it instead of constantly looking back at the past. I'm probably going to refrain from having these tough conversations until after this pandemic is over since it is probably not the best idea to bring something like this up while I'm stuck in the house 24/7 with my family. On top of that, I'm probably going to bring this up when I'm finally financially independent and out of college so that I'm not going to be in hot water in terms of keeping myself alive and well.

@lmfao I think its good to also bring up temperament and personal inclinations to this. I guess I did lean more towards green and away from orange from a very young age. Growing up i wasn't really materialistic. I wasn't the type to want the newest xyz for Christmas, birthdays etc. There was a point where I would look down on people who were overly indulgent when it came to luxury but now I would say that i'm pretty much at peace with it and hell I can let loose and enjoy myself too. I also like how you brought up possible negative past experiences with a stage. I instantly thought of how my mom tried to make me really competitive in school with my friends when that didn't come naturally and my instinct was to be friends and work together with my supposed competition. She tried to push this "every man for themselves and no one will like you if you're not number one" narrative on me and that seemed toxic even when I was really little like say 8 or 9. Now that I'm older, I can differentiate between healthy and unhealthy forms of competition, but I wouldn't be surprised if that experience still effects me since I was exposed to an unhealthy form of competition first. It's still my automatic instinct to shy away from competition and try to build relationships even now.

I'm trying to integrate stage orange in a healthy way and I do see many of the positives associated with the stage. However, I have a huge hang up when it comes to accepting capitalism and neoliberalism (I'm mostly fine with most all other aspects of orange except these two things). I don't catch myself being judgmental towards stage red, blue, green, or yellow but I do catch myself getting triggered over orange for this reason. I can't help but feel that much of the reason why many people are stuck at stage red and blue is because of a lack of proper resources due to poor distribution systemically and therefore they use harsh means to meet their survival needs. A lot of green's excesses is due to the backlash and anger from poor distribution. I can empathize with red, blue, and green, with minimal judgement (I have a couple hang ups here and there, I'm not perfect) but it all seems like to comes back to capitalism being problematic. I would go as far to say that a lot of my empathy for the other stages is rooted in my disdain for the limits of capitalism. I can see why capitalism is a thing from studying history and I do see it as another stage of development, one step above feudalism which I would characterize as a stage blue economic system. I try to have this view while still being able to discern the problems with capitalism however i do find myself sometimes crossing the line from discernment to judgement. I'm currently studying business, specifically finance, in college rn and I would say that has definitely helped me integrate more orange, however, it doesn't feel like enough and I still feel like I'm missing something.

@JosephKnecht I think it would be a good idea for people to have more of a say iin regards to where their tax dollars go. I think I remember reading somewhere of an idea where there is a portion of your taxes and you get to chose which department it goes to. And i mean, some governments, like the U.S. (I know I keep bringing them up, I live there and I have more context to speak on it) do have money to spend, they just put a large chunk of it towards things like the military. It is definitely necessary for security concerns don't get me wrong but budgeting and priorities should be looked at in a more critical lens. But that's a whole separate topic. Also, I like the idea of imagining different scenarios. I think on top of that it's good to recognize their interests as well. I know that has definitely helped me not demonize orange as much as I did in the past. After I started taking classes for my business degrees, a lot of things started to make more sense and didn't seem as malicious. It wasn't good or bad, it just was and in a way that helped me see how the concept/ theory in question would be applicable in which contexts.

@JosephKnecht I think it would be a good idea for people to have more of a say iin regards to where their tax dollars go. I think I remember reading somewhere of an idea where there is a portion of your taxes and you get to chose which department it goes to. And i mean, some governments, like the U.S. (I know I keep bringing them up, I live there and I have more context to speak on it) do have money to spend, they just put a large chunk of it towards things like the military. It is definitely necessary for security concerns don't get me wrong but budgeting and priorities should be looked at in a more critical lens. But that's a whole separate topic. Also, I really like the idea of imagining different scenarios. I think on top of that it's good to recognize their interests as well or by directly getting involved in these types of positions (I believe someone on this thread mentioned starting a business). I know that has definitely helped me not demonize orange as much as I did in the past. After I started taking classes for my business degrees, a lot of things started to make more sense and didn't seem as malicious. It wasn't good or bad, it just was and in a way that helped me see how the concept/ theory in question would be applicable in which contexts.

@Forestluv Like any other stage there is both positives and negatives. I know I have some hang ups but I'm trying my best to be more open towards aspects of stage orange I find myself more reluctant towards. I hope that I am working towards a more balanced worldview and I will say everyone's input in this thread is helping immensely. In regards to competition, I am open to it and I think it can be very good for the overall economy so that companies don't stagnate and settle. I guess my main thing is that unbridled capitalism reduces competition and starts moving towards monopolies and oligopolies. There are laws such as the Sherman Anti-Trust Act which does regulate enterprises but i think there needs to be an extension to the conversation since a lot has changed since 1890. But a lot like that era in American history, there was also a lot of issues in regards to wealth inequality at the time as well. I don't know whether this would fall under discernment or judgement but that's like the main thing that comes to mind. But then again, maybe orange needs to exhaust itself to the point where they see they are going against their own values. In oranges case, maybe its for them to see that some of their ideas are counter productive and impedes on their wealth, prosperity, and competition. It's just a thought.

Also my other thing is neoliberalism in other countries and how it deals with foreign affairs. Like there are so many violent conflicts that start just for the accumulation of more and more resources. The way cheap labor is used abroad is messed up because it commodifies people into disposable machines instead of seeing them as human beings. And finally, many diseases that are present in developing nations like HIV/AIDs have treatment but people aren't willing to help them because it's "too expensive" and "not on the budget" when its actually totally doable. The thing that bothers me the most is how profits get prioritized over peoples general well being and human rights. I know that's not everywhere in all cases but it is a large consequence

@Raphael I mean yeah that kind of work ethic especially towards a higher purpose is incredibly admirable. There are a lot of practical concerns as well in regards to sustaining yourself especially when working towards enlightenment. I definitely want to work towards similar goals as well in regards to financial stability and giving back by creating projects that better humanity. Accumulating for the sake of accumulating seems like a waste of time and energy, and unfortunately, a lot of people try to get rich for similar reasons, not to better humanity. I have nothing against millionaires, its when you're at or near a billion that bothers me because there is no way you can be spending that much money for yourself.

100% agree. Greed is there no matter what and capitalism is simply the present day tool of it all. It was definitely there before capitalism and manifested previously through stage red pursuits of conquering land for resources etc. I guess seeing capitalism as a tool that people use, like how religion is a tool, is a better way of looking at it rather than demonizing it. Like a knife. You can cut vegetables with it and make a nice meal or you could stab someone. Either way, its just another tool, what matters is how its used. With religion for example, there are plenty of people who use the tool in a healthy way so that they can have a sense of peace and guidance but there are plenty of people who uses religion as a tool to politically rally people and divide groups. Capitalism as a tool needs to be regulated so that people don't go over board, just how countries separate church and state for instance. Again, I agree. But the above countries also have a lot of structures that limit capitalism so that it is there, but in a healthier way. It goes back to regulating capitalism rather than demonizing i suppose.