soos_mite_ah

Also note: I'm not going to be replying to many comments. I have said what I said and I expanded on it pretty extensively. Plus I want to be all ears regarding this topic and the reactions it might cause.

@Khr @Preety_India @Emerald This might be a tangent but I have seen the term slut be used in two ways. The most commonly used one is where a woman liking sex and having a lot of sex is referred to as a derogatory term used to undermine female sexuality. The other way is where a woman doesn't have many standards and doesn't have the healthiest reasons for having a lot of sex (I've seen slut be used in this way a few times here and there but not too often). There seems to be a overlap because there is a common misconception where if you have a lot of sexual partners, then you either don't value yourself highly or you don't have standards. But in a lot of cases, having standards or a lack there of and having a lots of sexual partners vs having a few, are two separate traits. For example, lets say you have a woman who has a few partners, lets say 2 and she slept with them because she wanted to prove something to herself or she didn't want to express her own boundaries. To the person who uses the second definition of a slut where a slut refers to a lack of standards and a lack of healthy reasons for having sex, this woman is a slut. To the person who uses the first definition of a slut, this example isn't an example of a slut. Another example is a woman who sleeps around a lot but she is doing it for healthy reasons like lets say she wants to explore her sexuality more. This woman isn't coming from a place of trauma, sleeping around is actually the right decision for her and her self discovery. To the people who use the first definition of a slut, this woman is a slut but if you use the second definition, this person isn't a slut because her desire to engage in this type of behavior is coming from an authentic source. Sometimes I see this type of miscommunication where one party is using one definition of slut and the other party is using the other. And the best way I deal with it is by not having slut as a part of my vocabulary (mainly because it can be seen as derogatory in many cases) because it can lead to miscommunication. To me, a woman's (or really any person's respect for themselves) respect for herself is not reflected in where her boundaries lie and what she is ok with but rather her ability to enforce her boundaries and stand up for herself regardless of where she stands. Every person's expression of authenticity is different and different things can be healthy and empowering to different people so you can't say any hard and fast rules about what should and shouldn't be ok or where boundaries need to lie. But it is up to an individual to respect their own authenticity and stand up for themselves if they personally feel that their boundary might be crossed. I hope that makes sense and I would like to know what yall think.

Like what @Preety_India said, this is about standards not whether or not a woman is ok with a casual relationship. I watched this video and I would say it's over all really good advice for men. As someone with standards, while I'm not looking for a casual relationship at the moment, if I were to be seeking something casual, I would want a guy to be up front with me on his intentions. I wouldn't want him to be manipulative and dishonest with me, promise me something he has no intentions with following up on, and then leave me as soon as he is done fucking me. If you want to have a casual relationship with a woman, being up front will help you a lot because honesty will build trust and even in casual situation, a woman needs a certain degree of trust to want to have sex. There is nothing wrong with women who want a casual relationship or want to sleep around. But even those women, if they are quality women who have standards (or hell a woman with common sense and a desire for personal safety), aren't going to put up with creepy behavior which include but not limited to feeling pressurized or manipulated by men into something they aren't comfortable with. I know they say don't stick your dick into crazy and honestly that applies for women as well. Don't let crazy stick their dick in you. If you're going to do pick up, make sure it is a higher quality of pick up that doesn't disrespect women and their agenda and most importantly their boundaries.

I agree with this a lot but I would also like to add some things to it as well. There isn't anything wrong with sleeping around as a woman if that's what she chooses to do. She isn't loose, a club slut, or any less dignified or low quality because of that. Context matters a lot and even women who don't typically sleep around might be more in the mood to have a one night stand or two if she was at a club. Even then, if a woman sleeps around a lot, most of the time she still has standards in regards to how she is treated and approached and she still is looking for some type of emotional connection even if it is for a short term basis like a hook up or a friends with benefits. But yeah, I feel like PUAs often have a caricature of women in their minds that is far from what an actual woman is like. That I still stand by.

I agree with this. Plus I want to add that there are reasons why a woman would want to wait that doesn't have to do with being religious, being conservative, having limiting beliefs, or any demonization of sex. Some want to have a clear mind by keeping sex off the table when it comes to dating and don't want to muddy her judgement of a guy's character. Some know that they are the type of people who gets emotionally attached to a guy when they have sex so they put that off until they enter a committed relationship so they can save themselves heart ache and save the guy drama from dealing with a girl who got attached too quickly. And some women need a good deal of trust in a guy before fully revealing themselves to him because it can be hella daunting to be butt ass naked with a guy. I wouldn't be surprised if age is a factor. I'm speaking as a 21 year old (lets be real there is some bias on my part and I can recognize that) and I know a lot of women at my age who don't have much experience with dating and sex. As a result, they don't want to sleep with a guy too early and they want to feel things out before jumping into something too fast. In those situations, some girls aren't comfortable with going from 0-100 that fast and it's ok. Again, every woman will very. Some women aren't like what I'm talking about at all and some are. To each their own. And if a girl that waits that long is a deal breaker because sexual compatibility and experience is that important to you in a relationship, that's perfectly ok too. I'm just saying that there are a lot of women who might not be comfortable with how fast guys want them to have sex with them and it's a very real concern that a lot of women have.

1/17/2021 Food Diary Breakfast: 1 apple with some peanut butter: I REAALLY didn't want to have breakfast today. I was so tempted to skip. In these last few days I have been eating what I personally consider a lot of food so I felt stuffed from the moment I woke up. I have been having heavier breakfasts lately but I thought that maybe I need to have something light just to ease into everything. I was going to just have an apple but I went ahead and added the peanut butter just to get some fats and proteins in. Half a lemon and some water: Was in the mood for refreshing cold lemon water. Lunch: Homemade spaghetti with mushrooms: Since I'm still trying to get in my carbs, I opted for some spaghetti. I used these green spaghetti noodles that are made of green lentils, spinach flour, kale flour, and cauliflower flour. When I was grocery shopping these seemed interesting and I thought I give it a shot. They are pretty good, taste just like regular noodles really. They also have more protein compared to the regular gluten free noodles. I also added in some onion, baked tomatoes, garlic, parsley, bell peppers, and mushrooms along with some tomato sauce. I made my meal more vegetable heavy so I wouldn't have to deal with the tiredness I had to deal with yesterday when I ate the cereal. Dairy free mint ice cream: Saw some at the store and thought I could try some. It was pretty satisfying. First time I had ice cream in a while. I don't really get ice cream cravings anymore but I can still enjoy it. Snack: A handful of cashews: I wanted to eat some peanuts but I saw that my mom bought some cashews so I had some of that instead because why not. Dinner: Zucchini noodles: Just my regular zucchini noodles. I feel like I have been trying to get in more carbs and as a result I haven't been eating as many zucchini noodles. I actually enjoy eating zucchini noodles. It isn't just something I made myself eat because I thought I had to really cut down on carbs. Sure that was the reason why I discovered the zucchini noodles but I also grew to love them. They will still be a part of my diet. hard boiled egg: wanted to make sure I get in a little bit of protein for my dinner to ensure that I stay full. Additional note: I didn't feel tired today and I didn't have an urge to doze off. I think it does have to do with simple and complex carbs (simple carbs being breads, noodles and cereals and complex carbs being fruits and vegetables). I don't think I work well with simple carbs alone as a meal because then I get energy in the moment since the body doesn't have to process it much to get the glucose into the blood stream, but then the energy quickly wears off. With complex carbs, the energy release is slower meaning you won't have a blood sugar spike and the energy will be released slowly but surely in a certain duration of time. Or at least that's what I understood. I think I can have simple carbs but I need it to accompany a good amount of complex carbs such as vegetables to balance things out. Either that or mainly vegetables will do. Also I was expecting to break out from yesterday's cereal since it wasn't gluten free. That didn't happen! In fact, my skin has been clearer in the last few days. I think my lack of calories and my restriction was making my PCOS symptoms worse and was making me more sensitive to gluten and dairy in regards to the reactions in my body. I'm still going to avoid gluten and dairy when I can but I am going to be sure that I eat enough since that seems to be a huge factor in dealing with my condition. Speaking of eating enough, I know the amount of food I have been eating has been heavier than what I'm used to but I still struggle to get in a full 1800-2000 calories each day. I'm going to try to work up to that. Because the amount of food I have been eating has been feeling more than what I'm used to, I think it will take me a while to get used to that amount before moving on to increasing food intake in even more. That means I'm not going to be eating 1500-1700 calories every single day (that's usually how many calories my heavier days of eating consist of). Instead I'm going to have that amount for a few days, take a break where I eat what I consider a regular amount of food (usually totaling up to1000-1200 calories), and then get back to eating about 1500-1700 calories again. I'm going to be taking this slow enough to let myself adjust.

what if the woman in question isnt looking to have sex before getting into a relationship?

I feel like unconscious pick up mainly works on women who are dumb, really naive, or are simply looking for NSA sex. There is a reason why most women don't respond to it and have an auto reject response.

I mean it was an exaggeration but I guess the point that I'm trying to make is that a lot of pick up prioritize racking up bodies rather than connecting to women and taking some time to get to know a woman. When you walk into a situation with the mentality of trying to get sex, women often shut down automatically because we are used to being approached in that way. Instead you need to be assertive and approach a woman with empathy and consideration first and foremost instead of immediately start thinking of getting to bed with her. I wouldn't be surprised it that is a lot of the reason why guys put girls they find attractive on a pedestal because they are so fixated on what they see as this unattainable sexual aspect of the situation instead of trying to get to know this girl like a normal person.

Bruh at least take a girl on a couple dates and try to build some type of a relationship before going straight to having sex. Hell for a lot of women, they want to be in a relationship first before even thinking about doing anything sexual. Men are like microwaves. They can heat up instantly. Women are like crock pots, it takes us some time. There isn't anything wrong with one night stands or sleeping with someone on the first date, but i guess my thing is have some patience. This isn't how a lot of scenarios work out. Often times you need to have some time for some type of emotional rapport to build with a woman. That doesn't mean you HAVE TO get into a committed relationship before having sex, but I guess I'm afraid of this type of message being taken to the extreme. That's my whole thing with pick up. The messages there can easily be taken to the extreme if it isn't in the right context (at least from what I see) and that is especially the case with guys who spend all of their time behind a computer screen with little to no social skills period, forget about talking to the opposite sex. A lot of those guys don't know how to see nuances, because again, lack of social intelligence/ experience and that can get a lot of those people into trouble. And those extremes can easily paint women and female sexuality as a whole as some type of a caricature instead of viewing women as human with their own individual needs. I have talked to my friends about what we want in guys and almost after every conversation, regardless of what each of our individual preferences are, we realize that our bars are on the floor because ultimately we want a guy who will treat us with basic human respect (whether it is in a relationship or a hook up) so that we can trust the guy and feel safe. Go ahead, do whatever you want to attract women idk, just keep malicious intent out of it and view women as human instead of a body to add to your count. Ethical pick up if you will is necessary. And part of it is being careful of how things are phrased and not painting large groups of people with broad strokes. Seeing nuances and avoiding stereotypes is the best way to build any amount of social intelligence.

I mean you could lean into certain aspect of your in born masculinity or femininity. Lets say you are 60% masculine and 40% feminine. The way I see it, you could learn to embrace that 60% masculine, develop that masculinity and learn to lead with it. You could do the same with that 40% feminine aspect as well. But leaning into one aspect or developing one aspect doesn't change the composition of one's polarities. If anything, only focusing on one polarity and ignoring the other is a sure way to create a ton of shadows and contradictions in yourself because you aren't being authentic.

Also another thing I would tell my younger self is not to be self conscious about having boundaries and having standards. Sure having boundaries and standards will scare a lot of guys away and many won't be attracted to you but it will be a good way to weed out low quality guys from high quality guys. Fuck boys want instant gratification, literally they want to go in and out. If you have some standards, boundaries, hobbies, and interests, they will stay the hell away from you, not because you aren't desirable but because you aren't easy to manipulate, you aren't desperate for a man because you have your own life, and because you hold him to a higher standard of how he should treat you. That's not a bad thing, in fact it's really good because you'll get quality > quantity. You might not get a lot of approaches or a lot of attention but in the long term it will save you a lot of headache and fuckery. Growing up I had guys literally walk away from me once they realized that I was smart. When I was younger, I was self conscious of it even though I knew that what they were doing was messed up and misogynistic. I still encounter situations now where I tell a guy what I'm majoring in and I can see him getting freaked out a little but I don't feel bad about it at all. Now it's like the process of elimination. I would tell my younger self not to compare looks because the vast majority of people don't care, men or women. I would tell her that there are numerous different forms of beauty and there isn't one mold. Who someone thinks is beautiful can range from person to person and from society to society. Embrace the beauty and the desirability that you already have and it will flow from you even more because of the extra confidence. Flowers are beautiful and so are Christmas lights and they look nothing a like. And even if some people or society prefer the flowers, that doesn't mean the Christmas lights are any less beautiful. The presence of one woman's beauty and femininity is not an absence of your own even if your form of beauty and femininity vastly differs from her. And sometimes that preference that is pushed by society can be due to racism and a plethora of other issues. It isn't anything that's on you. I'm mainly speaking about this as a woman of color who was ridiculed for her features because of the Eurocentric standard of beauty. I remember when I was around 13 years old, a guy I liked told me to my face that he "didn't date brown girls." I remember back then how painful that was. I had another situation with a different guy play out like this a year ago and I had this attitude of "damn I dodged a bullet, I wouldn't want to date a guy like that in the first place" and there was no pain involved in my end. Some annoyance maybe but I didn't cry myself to sleep like the last time. In other words I would tell her to not doubt her own desirability and that it's ok to be patient instead of rushing into something with someone who might not be good for you. And to me, part of femininity is understanding your own desirability and taking care of yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally.

I mean to a lot of guys on this forum, I would say this is true and a lot of pick up from what I understand does try to make one build these things. But often times pick up can be limited in the way that it is often practiced and it can go wrong in so many different ways. It's really all about how you go about developing and expressing these qualities and there is a wide range of ways to do so ranging from healthy and constructive to totally manipulative to the point where you look like the romantic equivalent of a used car sales man. That's what you have to be careful of. Sure you aren't going to get with every girl you talk to and have a 100% success rate (and that's fine it isn't anything on you) but if you have to approach 50-100 different women, maybe it would be a good idea to see where you can improve so that it's more efficient and so you aren't wasting your time.

Divorce rates were lower back then because women couldn't support themselves financially since many firms regardless of industry didn't hire women and because many women couldn't even open a bank account much less get a credit card by themselves unless it was with their. You also didn't have an equal opportunity at higher education. All of these meant that if something happened and you got divorced, you wouldn't be able to live your life and support yourself. If the man did something she didn't like, her choices were to speak up, get on his bad side, and potentially end up getting beaten up or kicked to the streets, or she could stay quiet and submissive and keep her seething rage to herself. Now that women have more economic rights, she doesn't have to stay in an unhealthy situation if she doesn't wish to which is why divorce rates began to rise after more and more women entered the work force. You talk about how a couple's relationship dynamics and the way women are treated in the workforce are two separate things but both of them reflect attitudes and treatment of women as a whole and there is a lot of intersection between these two domains. A woman's submission in a relationship back then wasn't out of respect for men, it was out of fear. It wasn't out of attraction and out of something she genuinely liked, it was out of survival.

I'm 21 rn so I'm not going to address my 20 year old self since in terms of femininity I don't think I changed all that much. I'll address my younger, 14 year old self though. I know this is long but I feel like I stepped into my femininity in recent years much more so a lot of this is fresh on my mind and its things that I have integrated pretty well. I would tell her that it isn't weak to be in touch with your emotions or to express vulnerability. The desire to function on cold hard rationality alone has it's roots in demonizing femininity and also has roots in racism. You don't have to "be like a man" to be equal to one because both femininity and masculinity are equal in terms of value even if they are not the same in terms of function. Lean into your emotions and that will help you be more empathetic, more self aware, and more open to connect with others. There is strength in vulnerability, much more so than being so closed off to where you are scared of truly experiencing reality. Life is an emotional experience and that is why you are put on this earth, to experience life. Also, you don't have to be strong all the time. It's ok to ask for help and be open when something is bothering you. Let other people help you whether it is a man offering to pay for dinner on a date or whether it is you reaching out to a friend when you are depressed. It isn't an attack on your competence or ability to do things yourself. It's an invitation for people to express their appreciation and desire to help out/ support towards you. And most importantly, don't demonize other women for their more feminine interests whether it is makeup, chick flicks, etc. Hell, maybe if you have an open mind, you might find those interests to be somethings you also like and things that also have depth. That "I'm not like other girls" front reeks of internalized misogyny that looks down on anything associated with women because it sees anything feminine as shameful and frivolous. Also I would tell her to stop with this attitude of "girls are sooo dramatic and that's why I don't have female friends." This goes along with the "I'm not like other girls" front and the whole notion of women being dramatic is a way men use to gaslight women and their issues, whether it be their health concerns or when they stand up for their rights. It's also a way of pitting women against each other and having that attitude will make you lose out on a lot of quality female friendships. I would also tell her to find her own authentic expression of femininity. There are so many different archetypes of both femininity and masculinity that there is no way one person can embody it all all the time. Femininity for you might not look like pink and a shit ton of makeup (or it might) and that's ok. You can still be in touch with you feminine side even if it isn't the stereotypical version of femininity that is pushed on us for society. In fact, don't try to box in notions of femininity and masculinity in a box, that doesn't do either of those polarities justice and can be incredibly limiting in finding your own authenticity. Everyone has their own personal blend of masculinity and femininity and it isn't up to you to suppress one or the other but to find what works for you and feels natural to you. Some men are naturally more feminine and some women are naturally more masculine and vice versa. Some people find themselves towards the middle and some find themselves closer to either end of the polarity. All of these are ok. There aren't any right way to be masculine or feminine. The following video is really good at helping one do that, regardless of gender. There is also a version of this same video for the divine masculine.

1/16/2021 Food Diary Breakfast: 2 slices of gluten free bread with some peanut butter topped with a sliced banana: I used to love making this breakfast as a kid. It was quick enough to make before school and I didn't have to use the stove or anything (plus as a child my mom wouldn't let me near it anyway, rightfully so, so I had to find other ways to make myself breakfast) An egg: Thought I needed a little bit of protein in this meal. A handful of raspberries: For the last couple days I did these little berry mixes but today I was only into having raspberries. Lunch: A bowl of Honey Bunches of Oats with Almonds in some unsweetened almond milk: I was lazy with making lunch but I didn't want to have a salad like yesterday because that was too filling. I still feel full and stuffed from the last few days tbh. Plus I needed some more carbs. I know this isn't gluten free but I looked up the cereal brand online and I found that they have gluten free options as well. I could probably have some around the house to eat on occasion. I don't eat cereal that often. I think it's been a couple months since I reached for it. But I remember that as I child I would have some type of cereal for breakfast quite frequently. I opted for the more sugary kind when I was a little kid but as I grew up I grew out of it and opted for cereal with less sugar. My favorites were lucky charms, frosted flakes, and coco puffs as a little kid. Then once I hit middle school I switched over to cheerios and honey bunches of oats. Once I got to high school and college, cereal became a more and more occasional thing. Brought back memories. A handful of blueberries: I put a handful of blueberries in there because I felt like it and I wanted to see what that was going to be like. I can see myself having cereal like this more often when I do get around to having cereal. A spoonful of peanut butter: I felt like it since sometimes I like having a spoonful of peanut butter but I also I thought I would need some fat and protein to go with my lunch. Dinner: Chicken stir fry: I had a small amount left over from the night before. Salmon: Had some marinated and just had to cook it and it was ready. Rice: Had it with my chicken and my salmon. Again trying to ensure I get in my carbs. Salad: This salad was smaller than what I normally make but I felt as if I wasn't eating as many vegetables as I normally do. That felt weird so I made myself a salad since I love getting in my vegetables. This salad had kale, romaine lettuce, bell peppers, cherry tomatoes, tahini, a few olives and balsamic vinegar. It doesn't have as many ingredients as my normal salads but it felt nice to get some more nutrients in. Additional Notes: I caught myself feeling tired around 3 today. That felt weird since I had around the same amount of food this time yesterday and I didn't feel tired then. I suspect that it might have to do with fast carbs like breads and cereals vs. slow carbs like vegetables. I believe that there is a difference with the way they release energy because of how quickly they absorb into the bloodstream. Idk, it's just a speculation. I ended up dozing off and taking a nap and that wasn't fun because I'm pretty sure that my sleep schedule is going to be soooo OFF tonight. I'm going to take a melatonin pill for that just to help with things. Not my usual go to solution but sometimes it really helps. I think it might be a matter of difference between fast and slow carbs. At least I don't have to deal with those headaches anymore and I have regular bowel movements again. I'm so grateful for that. I accept that the sleep and energy thing as well as the rest of my health issues will take some time to fix.

I haven't fully experienced the scenarios but they do hit home when it comes to the things I think that keep me up at night. It's not the scenarios but the emotions. This was so beautiful and it resonated with me so much.

This is a lie that pits women against each other when that isn't true. Plus it paints women as drama queens as a way to not take women's issues and emotions seriously. Calling a woman dramatic/emotional/over the top is often a gaslighting tactic.

@Emerald I second Teal Swan I have said this in other threads. Men don't understand on how terrifying dating can be from a woman. A man's worst date is a bizarre anecdote he can laugh at a couple weeks later. A woman's worst date looks like something out of a crime drama. Women have to be vigilant of their drinks, have pepper spray, and often are scared to go out in a walk when it's dark alone. Often times when we are meeting someone from tinder, we send a screenshot of the guy we are going on a date with to a friend and a picture of what we are wearing just in case things get weird. Until you try to emotionally grasp those things, you will not understand how women work and you will have to approach 50-100 women to get anywhere. Would you rather play the numbers game for god knows how long, or unwind your subconscious threads of misogyny to connect with your feminine side and understand what women actually have to go through to empathize with them?

This is generally good advice. I will add on to it by saying that being constructive can also mean calmly and assertively setting boundaries. Often times we get angry because our personal boundaries are being threatened in some way. Communicating those boundaries with someone who respects you can help you avoid the situation that is causing you anger while acknowledging your feelings to where the other person knows what's going on. If we don't set boundaries and we keep things seething inside until we explode, that wouldn't be constructive instead it could be very harmful. Also keeping in anger can also cause depression and victim mentality in some instances which again can be harmful. Setting boundaries when we feel that bit of annoyance or anger proactively helps prevent us from acting reactively.

I really like that description. I think the beauty of how yellow and turquoise is still a very small portion of our society is that we are still learning and growing towards those stages slowly but surely. That means that we are still discovering and articulating them in various aspects of our lives. There is a variation of views when it comes to sexuality within a spiral. And I'm sure that it's no different for yellow and turquoise. This is one higher level view on sexuality among countless we have yet to think up.

I mean you dont have to be sexually harassed or assaulted to have trauma regarding the patriarchy as a woman. Granted I using trauma very loosely (hell even if we are talking about sexual harrasment and assault alone, there is a range but yeah that covers a huge chunk of women) but the vast majority of women have some type of negative experiences that fuel their limiting belief systems rooted in internalized misogyny. Unless you grew up in a super progressive household, you likely have a lot of things to unlearn as a woman.

If he meant supportive and understanding, I'm sure he would've chosen those words in stead of obedient and submissive. Obedient and submissive have totally different connotations and meaning. I would either be careful about your choosing of words or evaluate what underlying belief those words you choose reflect. You can tell a lot of how a person thinks and how you think based on the language you use. Also, you dont have to be super masculine to get women. Everyone has their own blend of natural femininity and masculinity and people really shine when they honor both polarities and act with authenticity to honor them, whatever levels an individual may have. Being very masculininty as a man or being very feminine as a woman doesnt mean you are healthy as your masculinity and femininity levels and how well you mold into the polarity you are stereotyped to fall under arent indicative of trauma or lack there of. And finally a woman setting boundaries and having standards isnt her challenging a mans decision or intimidating his role. A strong man wouldnt find such woman intimidating.

@Emerald Thank you you articulated my thoughts fully. I didnt even know where to begin smh. This isnt the 1950s @Hardkill . Submissive is a bedroom only word. It isnt a word to describe the role of a woman in a relationship dynamic. If you need a woman to submit to you in order to make you feel "alpha" you arent as strong of an alpha as you think you are. An actual alpha has enough confidence to seek his equal and not be intimidated by it. He doesn't need to dominate over a woman and have her worship the ground he walks on to stroke is ego because he is already secure in himself. I watched the other video and there is so many red flags. In a way, it perfectly describes the bs that women have to face when we do put ourselves out there. We are constantly told not to have standards, not to have boundaries, see other women as competition, serve ourselves on a silver platter, and act as if our lives and our value runs out the moment we turn 35. When we don't do that or succumb to that dry pussy mentality, suddenly our standards are too high and we are a bitch. When we see through all this and we react with men are trash, suddenly someone comes up and says "not all men" and proceeds to tell us how paranoid we are. But the moment we have a moment of vulnerability and something bad happens to us, suddenly we arent careful enough and we should've known that's just how men are. These things arent always explicitly told to us, though those instances still exist give the video I watched, but these are things all women have to unlearn on a collective if we want to demand respect. Because once we show this type of "pick me" energy, low quality men will prey on it and exploit it because then he gets the message that he can act however tf he wants and get away with it. If he ends up in prison, cheats on her numerous times, or hell even hits her, she will stick around and tolerate this bs at her own expense. That type of ride or die energy is where the woman emotionally and sometimes even physically dies. That shit is not romantic. And speaking in support of that shit with the facade that you are an "alpha male" just screams small dick energy. You arent dominant, you're domineering. It's not a good look to any woman with common sense and a general sense of self worth. But then again, I highly doubt that guys who spout this nonsense are trying to attract a woman who has self esteem. As they say, water seeks their own level.

I got through most of these videos because I'm short on time. I have a lot of thoughts regarding these videos. My first thought was like "yeah no shit a guy doesn't necessarily care about you, sometimes he just wants sex." I had this in my head since I was 12. My second though was how I'm not insecure of whether a guy thinks I'm attractive or not because there are men who will literally have sex with a McChicken sandwich. Some of the stuff that was being said was on point, and other stuff is an a huge exaggeration. There is some truth in these videos but I also see a lot of my own negative limiting beliefs I previously struggled with being parroted. I also have a strong suspicion that this guy is also projecting his own misogyny onto his view on the world. But yeah for anyone who feels that girls don't struggle with dating, just know that we have to deal with a lot of fuck boys that don't care about us and a lot of sketchy guys that lurk on us. None of them care if we live or die. It often feels really difficult to find a quality guy. These aren't necessarily "raw truths" that we haven't heard before, most women have some idea about this kind of stuff, often to the point where it is paralyzing and limiting for us to where we feel that the world is filled with assholes and that we will never find anyone that will actually care about us.