soos_mite_ah

Just wanted to take a moment to check where I'm at since I have posted this. I think I have spent more time adjusting to campus culture and dealing with school than working on each of these things. And while I can't say I can cross anything off of this list, I am making slow and consistent progress all things considered. I think given my situation, it would be wise if I paced myself. But to keep myself on track, I decided to post an update.

@Girzo I wasn't allergic to cats growing up. Then randomly when I was 15 I got near a cat and got really itchy and watery eyes and my nose stuffed up and got all runny and I started sneezing a lot. And it's been like that for years but for some reason like a few weeks after the vaccine and I encountered a cat again, nothing happened.

Side note/// Just Felt the Need to Say This If I ever say anything that is misguided, misinformed, or just plain offensive, please let me know. I'm trying to educate myself and become more aware on how I think about things and what implications they have. Like, even it it's just an undertone.

I really like these points. Yeah, I'm definitely not trying to say that spirituality is particularly toxic but it's important to be cognizant of the shadow aspects that cause people to get into spirituality in order to hold the spiritual community to a higher standard and so that spiritual teachings are being executed in a safe and healthy way. There was a part of my spirituality/ self help journey where I did notice this shadow aspect of myself that had this attitude of "I'm not good enough the way I am, I have to keep fixing myself to be a better person." I really had to address that and get out of the habit of "fixing things" and instead move into more acceptance and gentleness in regards to self love and improvement.

I got Pfizer 1st dose: a little pain in my arm for 48 hours. Wasn't even painful, just annoying. 2nd dose: again, a little pain in my arm but also a sore throat and feeling of exhaustion for 48 hours Also, I noticed that since taking the 2nd dose, I'm not allergic to cats anymore. Kinda weird I know but I'll take it lol

That's a false equivalency Dont try to equate the reactions of the people who are in the receiving end of mistreatment with the person doing the mistreatment itself.

Smh, not yall defending a karen She was the one who caused this in the first place and we dont know what happened prior to the recording. Sure the girl might have overreacted, but she literally got followed into a restroom. That's creepy af.

For me, the times when I feel like I'm genuinely being educated is when I learn a piece of information and suddenly life and the world around me just makes more sense. I think whatever kind of information causes this is different for anyone but it usually aligns with the way you naturally see the world. Personally, I'm really interested in things related to the social sciences because my mind naturally thinks along those lines and as a result, studying those subjects, subjects related to that, and subjects that are close to that really produce that feeling of being educated. My dad on the other hand doesn't get it and to him it seems like pointless theorizing. He's much more on the hands on practical and technical side of things so as a result, some of the things that make him feel educated are things that often pertain to business or how different machines, particularly cars work. Growing up, I never understood the car thing. But oh well, we both have our own lanes. I would say that being educated is like that aha moment that makes you feel like your consciousness IQ went up a couple points and it's because you learned something that pertained to the truth as it points to a tiny portion of infinity.

Somethings I Want for My First Time I'm probably going to get a little sappy and cliche with this post so bear with me. Since I went so long without having any experience physically (straight up haven't even kissed anyone yet), I do to a degree hold it onto a pedestal. Now, it's not a pedestal in the *sex is a divine thing that I'm dying to experience* kind of way but in the sense of I do have some sentimentality attached to it. It's kind of like *well, I have waited this long, might as well have my first be something really nice and worthwhile.* And even though I'm frequently thirsty physically and emotionally, there is also a part of me that's really glad I'm waiting in the sense of *I have a 21 year streak of never kissing any frogs.* This is the bare minimum but at the very least I want to share my firsts, whether that be my first kiss or my first time having sex, with someone I actually like. I've had opportunities to "get this over with" but it just never felt right and I was always kind of repulsed emotionally. Like I said in previous posts, I've never been on a date with a guy I was actually into. And it's not that I'm not capable of doing things with guys I'm not super into, it's just that I don't want my first time to be like that. I don't want mediocrity. Because from personal experience, a guy I'm not really into could literally grab my ass and I won't feel anything physically. But on the other hand, a guy I'm into can literally talk about something I'm not interested in in the slightest and I will just melt. It's kind of like that one quote that's along the lines of how "you'll never be too much for someone who can't get enough of you." I also want it to be with someone that I'm really comfortable with and someone who has earned a lot of my trust. Because this is something that is personal to me and first often times can be intimidating. Also, firsts can be awkward af so I need someone who will understand that and still be comfortable / can joke about this instead of doubling down on the awkwardness. Finally, the other reason why I need that trust and level of comfort is because I need to feel emotionally safe to where I know this person would still accept me if I'm bad in bed, which lets be real, there is a VERY high chance that I'm TERRIBLE in bed. And I'm not even saying this to be self deprecating. Let's be real, how good could I possibly be if I haven't done anything, like at all. That's like expecting someone who never practiced piano to be amazing at it. Am I going to be bad in bed forever? Probably not. But I need someone who is going to be patient with me lmao. Honestly, like the previous paragraph, this is the bare minimum. I would also like some degree of commitment and exclusivity because I don't think I could emotionally cope with it being otherwise when I'm just starting out. I think it would help me feel more emotionally safe and cared about. This might be treading on asking for too much but I want to be with a guy who sees value in my firsts. Not in a weird *I'm fetishizing your virginity because I have weird notions of sexual purity and a bunch of moralizations* way but more of a *hey it means a lot that this person feels safe enough with me to open up in this type of way and as a result this does feel special to me too.* And it's really fucking annoying that I want all of this but at the same time I'm longing for a relationship and I'm horny all the time. As much as I want to rush in and experience this, I know that if I do that, at the very least it wouldn't be something that is fulfilling and worst case scenario I would end up in situations I am not comfortable with or ready for. It's kind of like you're starving and you're waiting in a long ass line to a 5 star restaurant but you're also surrounded by fast food. You know that the meal at the restaurant is going to be amazing and even more so because you've been anticipating for this for so long but also, you're tired of waiting and you kind of want to settle for the fast food even though you know that it's going to mess how you physically feel because the quality of food isn't that good at the fast food places. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- All that said, the only exception I would make to all of this is and that is if I ended up with the opportunity to lose my virginity in a threesome. I feel like that would just be a wild story and that I would basically get to experience a lot at once. Plus, it's not like this is an opportunity that would come by that often so I'd probably jump in the first chance I get unless I get some really obvious red flags or I'm repulsed by them. But again, this is probably a 1:10000 kind of chance but it's still an idea that is fun to entertain. Bottom line, I want my first time to be pleasurable whether that means that it's with someone I really care about and took time with building a connection or if it's a spontaneous hedonistic decision to jump into bed with more than one person. I don't think I'm asking for too much when I say that I want a pleasurable experience.

That's so dumb. Giving your unsolicited opinion on someone's body is already messed up but going out of your way and following someone is just a different level of weirdo behavior. Like do you not have anything better to do lol ??

Life is a pointless game that needs to be played with dead seriousness

Am I Actually Horny or Am I Deprived of Human Connection? That's a question that I catch myself asking pretty often. The main reason I would say is because of how a lot of my constant emotional thirstiness started after I lost a large chunk of my friends and social circle so as a result I guess part of me felt this need to over compensate and dive into a romantic situation. Knowing this, I kind of promised myself that I'm going to rebuilt my overall social life before becoming involved with a guy. Another thing is how emotions and sex is so intertwined for me personally. Part of it has to do with being asexual in the past where I got into this thing of how sex is not something that I crave as an end in itself rather it's something that I wanted to use as a way to convey how I felt about someone. Also, I think the dynamics I often describe on here as a part of what I want is intertwined with this feeling of vulnerability and connection. I also find myself feeling less emotionally thirsty and touch starved after hanging out with other people or cuddling with someone even if everything was 100% platonic. But also, there is a part of me that just wants to go out there on impulse and get this whole thing over with. I still think about sex and intimacy waay too often. And it's to where I ask myself *well.... do I really need to know someone for a while because I'm kind of tired of waiting.* Like I don't know if this is impatience, desperation, or just my physical urges kicking in. It's definitely been like a 1000x worse since I got on birth control and started questioning my sexual orientation. Sometimes I don't know how to answer this question. The factors just seem rather muddy and all over the place. I just end up confusing myself lol.

Foreplay and Aftercare Something that I noticed about myself is that whenever I fantasize about sex, I put much more focus on foreplay and aftercare as opposed to penetration. I think a number of factors are involved. One, as a woman, I know that most women don't get off to penetration alone. Like... there is a reason why straight women often find themselves searching up lesbian porn. Two, as someone who used to identify as asexual, I tend to fall into the same thought pattern where the over all dynamic, setting, context, and build up is much more important. And three, penetration doesn't feel all that good for me. Don't get me wrong, it isn't unpleasant, but it isn't exactly something that I crave. I don't know if it's a context thing, if it's a physiological thing, or if it's my body just not being used to it. I did write about this in a previous post: There is also a quote I remember hearing a long ass time ago. I forgot where it's from but it was along the lines of "for men, sex is from the belt down while for women, sex is from the neck up." Idk why but I remember hearing that and being like *lol mood.* I guess it feels extra true to me because I'm mainly sensitive from the shoulders up. I don't think it's applicable for everyone since it is a wide sweeping generalization but I do think there is some merit to it. I feel like things like setting and context is much more important to women since it takes us a minute to get turned on. But then again, the brain is one of the most important sex organs for both men and women. And also, I guess for me, sex is just as much psychological as it is physical. Things I think about more often then penetration include but aren't limited to: cuddling either after sex or leading up to it sitting on his lap having a nice bath or shower massages being held/ hugged in different positions before, during, and after sex making out in general being pinned down the plot line/mood having different parts of my body kissed and returning the favor having someone run his fingers through my hair and vice versa talking before and after sex or really any situation that would make my face go red And I think especially with porn, all of those things are missing so as a result, I never got hooked on it and if anything I find porn boring af. I wrote about this in a previous post on how one of the problems with porn is not how it reveals too much rather it's how it doesn't reveal enough. Not only is porn a shitty and unrealistic depiction of sex, it's also a shitty depiction of a lot of people's fantasizes.

My Body Image Issues as of Right Now I feel like my body image has been taking a dip for the last couple of weeks. I have wrote about this and the broader implications of my environment in a previous post: I've been going through a culture shock of sorts again because I've come back to school after a year and half or so. I would say that the initial shock has died down and so have my body image issues to a certain extent. The thing that messes things up though is the whole stomach thing. This might sound rather narcissistic but I honestly feel like I would be a 10 if I just had a flat stomach. It's. Just. That. One. Goddamn. Thing. I've been able to deal with all of my other body insecurities over the years but I swear to god that this one thing with my stomach won't fucking budge whether it is from a psychological/ self love stand point or it's from a exercise/ let me try to change myself stand point. This one issue with my body has caused me so much trouble both in terms of what I eat and how I see myself to where there is a part of me that REALLY wants to just get surgery and forget about this whole thing all together. I know that isn't super women's empowerment of me since attraction and our choices don't exist in a vacuum, but I do think it's empowering for me on a personal level as it pertains to my own emotional health. I guess with the stomach thing, I can forget about it for the most part but it's still always in the back of my head. But lately it's constantly been at the forefront of my mind because of how there is a part of me that feels swarmed. And because it's like a 100 °F everyday here at this time. Everyone is basically in crop tops and the shortest skirts or shorts they own. It's either that or like workout clothes. So because everyone has flat stomachs and are wearing crop tops, there is a part of me that feels kind of left out and unattractive because of my stomach. Also, because of how hot it is, I'm also just wearing things that are more on the revealing side purely for comfort reasons. I'm kind of glad that everyone else is also doing it so as a result I don't feel super singled out and over all the whole thing feels normalized but also a part of me can't help but feel that what I'm wearing looks very vulgar and sexualized on me, but perfectly normal on a skinny white girl. Like, I just feel really exposed when I wear shit like this to class to where for the last couple days I've been wearing regular jeans despite sweating throughout the day. There is a part of me that knows that I'm being judged on a different set of standards and that what I wear and do gets interpreted differently. I also went to go pick up some mail earlier today and there were two women in front of me while I was waiting in line. Both of them were wearing these really short shorts and a top that basically looked like a bra. But because like the top and the bottom were matching, I guess it did look like an outfit. But also, I started thinking of what it would be like if I walked out wearing the same thing and how it would probably look more like a swimsuit on me rather than something I could wear to and from class. Like, my tits and my ass would just be out. But on them, it didn't look like that because of how skinny they were. If anything, they almost looked put together. I say almost because I stood there questioning for a few seconds thinking something along the lines of *is it just me or... wtf* Basically, it was very much so a *is this a fit or are they just skinny and tall* moment. But on the bright side, body image issues and sexualization aside, I think I'm doing pretty well when it comes to my relationship with food. I'm not binging or restricting. I'm honoring my natural hunger and fullness ques. I'm eating a decent amount of food. And, I'm proud of myself for that especially considering the environment I'm currently in, as well as my previous history with eating disorders, issues with family, and bad body image issues. I'm doing really well for myself all things considered and it's good that I'm in a position where I can be mindful of what I'm experiencing rather than giving into it.

@modmyth I do have a morbid curiosity towards this whole phenomenon. There's just so much you can talk about from the envy, the masochistic epistemology (and just natalie's takes in general tbh), the racism, the sexism, people growing more and more isolated, right wing resurgence and more. I do like how you brought up the racial subtext to a lot of this because I do feel like it is something that gets ignored for the blatant misogyny. I think this side of things is especially something that a lot of Asian men do have to deal with because of the way white supremacy demasculinizes them. I feel like when it comes to things like misogyny and internalized incel self hatred, each demographic has their own specific flavor of it depending on a myriad of factors, most of which come from historical context. I think the other reason why the racism aspect goes undiscussed about is because on how a lot of the mass shooters are white men, typically white men who have been rejected by a woman or isolated by a lot of people growing up.

Simple. Survival is supposed to keep you alive, not make you happy and fulfilled.

Feeling Profoundly Stupid If there is anything that college did it is make me feel stupider than when I first started. Studying a lot of the topics I'm interested in really made me realize exactly how half baked and partial my takes were and how I don't have enough information to do... well... anything for sure. The pandemic certainly didn't help because it took any amount of planning I had and chucked it right out the window into the void. I really can't say I know anything anymore. I think leaving college feeling stupider and less confident on your own takes is basically the Dunning-Kreger effect where the smarter you are, the more you realize how much you don't know. And then as a result, all of the smart people are self aware enough to realize on the grand scheme of things that they are actually stupid while all the stupid people tend to think that they are absolute geniuses. It's kind of how Trump goes to the NATO summit and starts talking about how he is "a stable genius" when he is actually probably the most unhinged mf that held office in the U.S. I have fallen into excess when it comes to this feeling of stupidity. Sometimes, rather than manifesting as humility and strategically standing back to get more information in order to carefully take action, it manifests as self doubt. self criticism, and feeling like I should stay quiet and not assert myself. After all, how could we say we know anything at all for sure? How could we say that we aren't bias and the factors we are looking at to come to a decision is something we are doing impartially and truthfully? How could we say that out methodology and our perception is to be trusted if the questions themselves have a degree of bias? How could we ever say we know what lies up ahead when there a ton of factors that don't even cross the radar until it's too late? How could we ever say that what we are doing is the right thing to do? And I'm not even talking about *oh everything must be relative, there is no absolute truth.* That can be a factor at times yes but when it comes to absolute truth, I feel like it's very unlikely that you will ever grasp it fully because it is by nature infinite. We can only have our own little piece of infinity if we look hard enough, but we can't have the whole thing, at least not all at once in this life time. All of that aside, coming back down to Earth, I feel incredibly stupid like 90% of the time in my classes and when it comes to making sustainable life decisions. I'm confused like all of the time and I feel like I do encounter an information over load in my head every so often. My head hurts and my soul feels like it doesn't have certain, solid ground to stand on.

Also @Etherial Cat @Tangerinedream @modmyth @Raphael @RendHeaven @Emerald @flowboy @aurum, I don't mean to put you on the spot but, I would love to hear some of yall's thoughts if yall have any. Specifically on the role of envy.

I know my post was really long but basically I wanted to explore the role of envy and how it can create a spiritual ego or create a lot of projection because strong emotions like like envy is really difficult for most people to admit much less digest. I'm not trying to say that getting into spirituality and also wanting to improve your dating life is wrong or at odds but Ii will admit when I first got to this forum, I came here with the expectation that I wouldn't deal with things like red pill ideology even in a section centered around dating because they are so low in terms of self awareness and awareness regarding empathizing with others. I do think that things are getting better in regards to how much toxic blue and orange is in that section, but I thought it would be beneficial as to why some people with similar mentalities would be attracted to spirituality apart from basic healing purposes. I also found some of the misanthropy and restrictions from life to be interesting. Sometimes I get this vibe that some people just stop saying yes to life and start judging people who aren't super into spirituality and self improvement as unconscious which I thought was important to step back and look into. I'm not trying to attack people who are having issues socially or people who are into spirituality or anything of that nature but I wanted to talk about some of the emotional self deception that comes with emotions such as envy masquerading as other emotions to protect the ego. I apologize if it came out in an attacking way.

A New Flavor of Crazy I just want to reflect on all the ways I feel currently insane. Like, I stopped dealing with a lot of these issues pre-pandemic. It's been difficult to watch me slide back like this. And even though I did grow a lot during this pandemic, I didn't come out of this in one piece. I really just want to acknowledge that, accept it, and have all of my shit laid out in front of me so I know what I'm dealing with. Because sometimes, having your problems laid out in front of you in a bullet pointed list instead of having it be this ball of mess that you don't know how to navigate helps. I don't know how I identify as sexually as far as my orientation goes. I'm horny, touch starved, and emotionally thirsty all the time. I am isolated platonically because I didn't have a social circle in forever. I don't know what I'm doing with my life and where I'm going career wise. I'm dealing with the repercussions of emotional neglect from my parents since March 2020. I had a suicide attempt because my anxiety got so bad around last year. That's going to take a few years to come to peace with. I have developed a few kinks as a result of my current emotional state. I have anxiety from my dumpster fire life for the last few years. Money. That's it. I'm collecting shiny rocks and believing in astrology as a coping mechanism with all of the uncertainty in the world. I go on doomer spirals every now and then because of the pandemic, capitalism, and climate change. Everything feels dystopian. My body image is kind of fucked up because of the amount of time I spent with my mom and my school's culture around diet and exercise. I'm still a procrastinator as far as school work goes I still crave stability and a quiet/ boring / almost mediocre life. I don't have much confidence academically or professionally because of the shit show that has been my life in the last few years.

I Just Had a Realization I don't necessarily have a praise kink. Specifically, I have a reassurance kink. I don't think I had this pre pandemic. I think the emotional neglect and the gaslighting I experienced while living with my parents during this time caused me to develop this...... Like I know that I would romanticize the notion of someone actually being emotionally there for me, but it hasn't gotten sexual until recently. But then again, it could also be the birth control fucking with my head. *sigh* aren't I just a bundle of joy. I didn't come out of this in one piece. As I said in a different journal:

I agree with this. But I also wanted to focus as to why there is a lot on a spirituality forum specifically. There are a lot of corners of the internet where awkward, extremely introverted people gather but they don't turn into places with a lot of incels and red pillers.

I think a bigger thing at play is unlearning a lot of the social conditioning that comes with being a woman. Some of it includes but isn't limited to: building up more confidence since you are often silenced or treated like you're dumb allowing yourself to have boundaries and not get taken advantage of allowing yourself to have emotions like anger and letting yourself be upset since society typically paints those types of women as hysterical and crazy unlearning internalized misogyny to embrace your femininity without shame since femininity often painted in an infantilized, weak, undignified, and inferior light dealing with body image issues in a society that holds a woman's beauty as a way to measure her worth figuring out ways to protect yourself from men who don't have your best interests at heart professionally getting ahead in a system that works against you in terms of things like pay and benefits emotionally dealing with the trauma that misogyny and simply the threat of sexual assault causes figuring out to what extent what you want to do is conditioned by society and to what extent is authentic so you can make better decisions There is a lot of trauma that women have to deal with solely because they are women that men don't even have to think about unless the conversation comes up. And you can multiply all of the above when we talk about poor women, women of color, and women from developing countries.

Neck and Shoulders Personally, I'm really into any amount of stimulation in the neck/shoulder region. That area is just really sensitive for me. Like a guy who I'm interested in can whisper in my ears and I would immediately get goose bumps. Just the feeling of someone being that close to you in an area that you're sensitive at and having their breath fall softly is enough to override whether or not what he said was in reality stupid. Neck kisses, sucking on someone's neck, leaving marks etc. goes without mentioning. It's too obvious. Massages are also really nice. I'm pretty sure I mentioned before on how whenever I wake up with back or shoulder pain, it just naturally leads to horniness because of how I begin imagining being massaged and then having that escalate. I do enjoy the idea of being massaged but also giving a massage to someone I'm interested in. When it comes to the whole thing with the 5 love languages, I very much express my feelings through acts of service. And giving a massage, having someone relax into the experience, and taking away that tenseness and stress from someone is an idea that is appealing to me. When it comes to clothing, I actually feel the sexiest wearing something that is off the shoulder. I always feel kind of silly for admitting this because of the way that the U.S. school system moralizes against bare shoulders and claim that it will distract the boys when in reality guys don't care about shoulders. Honestly, I don't find other people's shoulders to be attractive, just mine. For me, there is something that is vulnerable and freeing about just having one of the most sensitive parts of your body just out in the open for easy access lol. There is a sensuality to it as well. Personally, I like tracing my fingers around the upper part of my chest/ collarbone area and sometimes give myself a quick neck massage for a few seconds. Also, another reason why I like it is because of how subtle it is. No one notices and it almost feels sneaky and exposed at the same time. It's the feeling of hiding in plain sight. I also feel like things like off the shoulder neck lines or anything that exposes the collar bone, shoulders, and a little bit of the top of the chest (not so much to where you get cleavage), has a graceful look to it as well idk why. And best of all, from a practical non sexy point of view, I have an excuse to not wear a bra which I'm always excited about because bras are uncomfortable and annoying. So then you get that added level of comfort physically which for me makes me feel more relaxed and as a result more confident. I have also talked about the whole necklace and Adam's apple thing in a previous post: And I think something that is also important to the neck thing with guys is that even though I am into it, it's not like I sexualize it. Like I'm not here internally losing my mind whenever a guy has his neck exposed lol. I think whether something is sexual or whether something is sexualized is greatly dependent on context and the situation you're in. It isn't so much about the body part itself rather it's what you can do in the appropriate context. I'm planning on doing a whole post as to why a lot of women find hands attractive and how that is related to the female gaze and how it's a good example of seeing something as sexual but not necessarily sexualized but I don't want to get side tracked so enjoy the preview with the neck example. But anyways, carrying on. I also find ties attractive. Romantically, I can just think of scenarios of playfully pulling someone closer to me using their tie. I also think it's really cute and romantic to fix someone's tie in the morning as yall are getting ready. I think it plays into the whole thing with acts of service being my main love languages. And also, just looking up into someone's eyes while doing it is also really cute. This is one of those mundane things that I like lol. Sexually, sometimes I get an intrusive thought from my reptile brain that is along the lines of *aww how cute, he comes with his own leash* to which my conscious mind responds with *BITCH WHAT!?!?!??!* I think similar to the whole shoulder thing, there is that subtlety that's there because I'm pretty sure most people don't subconsciously associate ties with leashes lol. I also like someone grabbing my neck and pressing on it a little. Not so much to where they are choking me but to the point where there is some type of stimulation. Just people touching my neck and shoulders in general is a turn on and it takes a certain degree of trust for me to let people do that to me. Because I'm really sensitive there (not even sexually, just in general), I have a reflex whenever someone tries to touch me there even if it isn't anything sexual. One time I had someone jokingly try to poke my neck and I almost smacked her. I remember another time, this is actually a really weird occurrence but when I was 7 or 8, I had a really bad sore throat and I had this doctor grab my neck to see if anything hurt. I remember making a face and trying to repress my initial reaction to smack him. I gave a weird look to both of my parents which basically said *wtf is happening* because even the sensation felt really weird especially since I don't know this person and I can't really talk because of my sore throat. The doctor saw me making this face and started laughing and said something along the lines of "oh, she's not liking this at all. Dad, be careful when she becomes a teenager and starts getting into boys and they start getting handsy." And even at that age, even though I didn't understand everything, I had this gut reaction of "dude wtf?!?!?!" Now that I'm older, I just sometimes catch myself thinking about that situation and how fucking weird it was. Like.... I was literally in elementary school tf!?!?!??! Why would you say that about a literal child IN FRONT OF HER PARENTS AND JOKE ABOUT IT!!!! LIKE HUH?!?!?!? That's just so sus in so many level omfg. And the worst part about this is that neither of my parents stood up and just awkwardly laughed with this guy. But yeah.... in conclusion, I like things that have to do with necks but if someone I don't know too well or I'm not comfortable around tries get too ahead and starts messing with my neck, this person will probably get smacked or punched in the face.