soos_mite_ah

Find out what is causing the anxiety through contemplation, therapy, journaling, meditation etc. Find out where the anxiety began. Than can give you clarity on how it came about, what you need etc. Being gentle with yourself and taking care of yourself physically and emotionally Validating those feelings of anxiety because they do come from somewhere and it is your psyche's way of protecting you and warning you Depending on the situation but exposure therapy can help (That's whn you expose yourself to the stressor in small doses and build it up until you aren't scared of said thing),

New To Do List Health Related: Had some blood results come back weird before. Part of it had to do with my doctor overprescibing me iron pills and the other part has to do with some of my unhealthy eating habits back. Either way, I need to deal with this. Get more bloodwork done: I had to get the iron to exit my system for the last few weeks but now I need to figure out where I stand. Go to a nutritionist to figure out wtf I'm supposed to do: My eating habits and my relationship with food is not the best at the moment and I think that professional guidance according to my health situation can clear up some of the misconceptions I have been having. Stop associating thinness with health: My health is more important even if I do gain weight. Limitting Beliefs/Other Emotional Issues: Mourn your college experience both socially and academically/careerwise: I have been dealing with a lot of FOMO and self deprecation surrounding not living my best life in college due to a variety of pandemic related issues. I'm still in the process of doing this and I feel that much of my imposter syndrome as of this moment has more to do with FOMO rather than a feeling of incapability. Deal with the constant feeling of not being enough in the back of my mind: Just to list my delusional thoughts out I feel like I'm not doing enough to be excelling in school to be successful after graduation, I feel like I'm not thin enough to be attractive or healthy. (the weight thing really fucks me up tbh) I feel like I'm not diligent enough with my work or that I'm not strict enough. I feel like I'm not interesting enough or have enough of a personality based on how college has gone. I feel like me doing a good job isn't enough because I'm not beating the person next to me. (I know this is super stage orange but that's the environment I'm currently in and even though this isn't what I believe logically, it is still something affecting me at the moment emotionally) I feel like I'm not doing enough unless I'm really high functioning as someone with ADHD. I often feel like I look too neurodivergent. I feel like I'm not healed enough or that I'm too neurotic, or that I express myself emotionally too much. Note: I think a lot of this has to do with my recent life experiences as well as my current environment at the moment. Deal with your body image issues: I started gaining weight since I have started eating like a normal person again and it's messing with my head. I'm working with a therapist when it comes to this issue. Mourn your family relationships that you are planning to let go: THERAPY Talk about your mild depression and how you tend to mentally check out: THERAPY Additional Things: Figure out ways to deal with revenge bedtime procrastination Carve out more time for yourself to not only rest but just to be and enjoy your time BLOG! ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Maintain Things in My Life: I do have a lot of good things going on at the moment and I think I just need to keep going and stay consistent. These are not items to be checked of rather they are things that I need to keep being mindful of going forward hence why they aren't bolded and are separted from the rest of this post. Maintain a consistent eating schedule and be mindful of self deprecating thoughts. Mauntain healthy coping skills Maintain the relationships you have with your friends and make it a point to spend time with them Maintain my current workout schedule Maintain the internship I have Maintain good grades

I tried a few more machines in the last few days. I'm also feeling out how the weights effect me because of how sore I got the last time. Basically I learned that just because you can doesn't mean you should. Adjustments: Dumbell Chest Press and Dumbell Curls: I was going 17.5-20lbs before and while I can do that, the soreness I got from that was not worth it. I've been using 15lb dumbells lately and while it isn't as challenging as I would like, I do have better form and I don't feel miserable the next day. Horizontal Leg Press; I didn't change the weights but I am doing 4 sets instead of 6 and I feel like that has been more reasonable for me. Trying New Things: Leg Curl: 110 lbs for both legs, 55lbs for one I confused the leg curl machine with the leg extention one and I embarrassed myself a couple times. But the change from always using the leg extention was nice. Chest Press Machine: 60-70lbs I tried this one out and I was surpised on how much I could do mainly because when I do dumbell chest presses, I usually only do 30lbs total (15lb dumbells on each arm). I guess things like gravity and maintaining a certain center of gravity with the weights also comes into play. I guess the same coule be said about doing dumbell flyes vs doing flyes on the machine. Machine Flyes: 50lbs When it comes to dumbell flys I usually do 15lbs which amounts to 7.5lb weights on each arm. So there is a big differece again due to things like gravity as I talked about with the chest press machine. Donkey Kick Machine: 80lbs The first time I tried it, I looked like a whole fool because I didn't know how to adjust the thing and it was set on the tall people setting. My legs couldn't properly reach back there lol. But this time I figured it out and I had someone help me, I did enjoy using this machine but I don't think I would want to use it when the gym is crowded because I don't want to deal with people staring. Tricep Pulldowns: 30-42.5lbs. I find a lot of the pulley exercises fun to do. Gonna admit, I have no idea what I'm going. I just do the thing where you pull down the bar towards you and it pulls back up after a rep. I noticed that the way that the bar is shaped can impact how many reps I can do and how much weight I can handle since sometimes I'm in an uncomfortable position. So... that's something to be mindful of. There is also another thing that I saw in the same area which is where you sit down and you pull the thing towards you. I really like that one too. I don't know what that particular exercise is called but I was enjoying myself. I use about the same weight as when I do the tricep pulldowns.

wait.. @Leo Gura so you can see everyone's pm's?

@flume Oh I definitately agree. I am currently working with my therapist on this and recent events that have triggered this in me. I'm also more than happy to message you.

So basically, I have been dealing with restrictive eating for a very long time. While I'm not underweight, my metabolism is really messed up and I'm starting to get different nutritional deficiencies. I have been letting myself eat whatever I want and while I have noticed my mood and my concentration be more consistant and stable, I have been trying to unlearn a lot regarding moralizations with food (i.e. labeling foods and good or bad and beating yourself up for eating a certain way). I find myself feeling guilty when I eat "junk food" (namely bread and chocolate). It's to the point where if I eat more on one day, I have this tendency to want to restrict or skip meals the next day. Also, I feel like the whole intermittent fasting thing that I did for a while along with not consistently eating at the same time threw off my regular hunger cues from an hour to hour basis. I know that I have disordered eating habits and a messed up relationship with food. But a lot of people dismiss me (and at times I tend to invalidate myself) because I'm not skin and bones, I'm about +10lbs overweight (at least fromt the last time I checked). I know that weight isn't the primary indicator of health for a variety of reasons but I have been conditioned to believe so. I do have a lot of muscle mass but I am squishy around the edges. I'm self conscious about not being toned and for not being skinny in general. The thing that messes me up the most is how my stomach isn't flat and how my chest makes me look much bigger than I am. I have been eating more than usual and since my metabolism is messed up, I did gain some weight. My clothes don't fit the same way they used to and I can feel my waist and my chest get 2 inches bigger. I know most people can't notice but my clothes fit tight and it isn't comfortable. It feels like a constant reminder of me "letting myself go." I currently feel really disgusted with my body even though when it comes to my relationship with food, I am doing better health wise. Physically, I feel like a blob. As a result, ther is a part of my mind that is telling me to abort mission and go back to restricting food and starving myself. I'm mainly writing this out so that I can vent and reflect. Thankfully I have friends who are very supportive emotionally and when it comes to my goal to have a healthier relationship with food. I'm planning on doing more bloodwork as well as get a few appointments with a nutritionist as well. I feel like I'm making progress but in the last couple weeks or so, the whole feeling disgusted with my body thing is really getting me.

I skipped the workout today because I was dealing with a lot of back pain from the day before. I'm pretty sure it was due to general muscle soreness but I just wasn't feeling it today. I slept in a little and I feel so much better. I really needed that.

@something_else I guess it can depend from person to person. I know for me personally, loud areas where I can't actually engage with a person and where I'm constantly getting over stimulated can be pretty overwhelming. I suppose I need to draw more of a distinction from generalized anxiety an social anxiety since for me, they tend to go hand in hand.

That doesn't make sense. Animals aren't nearly as conscious as humans and they too can fall prey to health issues. I guess what I'm trying to say is that justifying sickness and health and applying a moral value to it (in this case consciousness and awareness) can lead to things such as ableism and at worst eugenics. Especially in philosophy, there is a whole history of how white men have tried to paint things such as health, restrictive diets, and thinness as a sense of moral superiority (i.e. I'm fasting and restricting what I'm eating, therefore I'm more disciplined and more conscious). Of course, if there is a health issue you need to tend to, tend to it. And if you think altering your diet is the way to do that, do that with professional supervision. But don't expect other people's bodies to respond the same way and definately don't think that it has anything to do with their level of consciousness or that their health situation says anything about what they are like as people.

If the anxiety is that overwhelming, I wouldn't recommed going to a club right away. That's like going from 0-100 without anything in between. You can practice your socialization skills at work, school, restaurants and a variety of other circumstances. Sure, try clubbing, but if it's too anxiety inducing and you're not enjoying it at all, it's best to respect those boundaries and do things gradually. I thought I would especially emphasize that point about not forcing things because from what I can gather from the first post, OP is acting from a place where they are trying to force having a personality instead of trying to explore the one they have. And especially when you feel like you're a blank slate, self discovery is so important and part of that is indentifying what you do and don't like rather than forcing yourself into situations that are simply not in allignment.

I agree with @Matthew85. If this is not your domain, it's best not to force it. The most growth comes when you embrace yourself and work with what you have rather than forcing something that doesn't feel authentic. I'm kind of in the same boat where I don't really like parties and I find them to be really loud and overwhelming to where I find it difficult to connect to others. I'm generally really good with people, that is just not the setting or the crowd for me. And that is ok. I think this answer comes from being true to yourself and being mindful in your social interactions when you are naturally yourself. Figuring out your person if you will has so much to do with your own sense authenticity and making yourself fit into a limitted carciacture of your identity would be really limitting and likely won't be as fun for you because you always would have to keep up with appearances. Dude... you really need to get out of your head. There is no "wrong" way to socialize so long as you aren't manipulating, exploiting, or otherwise harming people. No wonder socializing is so draining for you. You are spending all of this emotional labor to craft certain responses instead of acting in a way that comes naturally to you. It's ok if you are a blank slate of sorts and it's ok to have period of silence. It might seem awkward to you but trust me, a lot of people see it as a breath of fresh air during an interaction because there is less pressue. Don't "forge" a personality or I guess in this case perform a personality. That will lead into more of the exhaustion that you are talking about. Instead of seeing it as creating a personality, try to approach it as discovering your personality. That will help you tap into being, help you be more authentic, and help you take out a lot of the pressure you're putting on yourself.

Ngl this can turn into ableism real quick Sometimes people luck out genetically and there is no need to add extra meanings to things like this.

A Brief Life Update Featuring **Mild Depression** I know that I haven't been writing a lot lately and much of it has to do with my work load as well as this form of mild depression that I'm experiencing that is basically due to a nice cocktail of issues. I'm mainly writing this down because even though I don't have much inspiration for a substantive post, I'm still itching to write something and I want to process a bunch of random things that's been happeining in my life since there is a part of me that feels like I'm in a dissassociative state of sorts. I got around to watching Encanto: Honestly, this movie is amazing. It explains the dynamics of generational trauma and dysfunctional families really well and I walked away from that movie reevaluating my life. There is no definitive villian in the movie other than traumatic experiences and I loved how basically each family member's powers alluded to the messed up roles they play. I feel like I could do a whole nother post on me relating to each of the characters tbh. It was such a good movie. I got an internship for the semester: In my last life update I wrote about how I was stressing about the whole interview process. Welp... a couple weeks ago I got a call back and I just finished my first week there. I didn't really do much since the first day was me meeting with people who I'm going to be working with and the second and third day were basically cancelled because of the big winter storm that came through Dallas (I'm working on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays and I have all of my classes on Tuesdays and Thursdays, with the exception of one, to accomodate for me having a job). Not sure how this will go because while I'm not picking up on any red flags, there are a few yellow flags that I have encountered sooooo how chaotic this well be is undecided. I do like that I get to work with multiple departments and projects that could help me narrow down what I want to do after graduation so that's my main objective going in. And if this doesn't work out.... welll.... at least my resume won't look like a skinny legend. I've been dealing with a disordered relationship with food: I am working through a lot of limitting beliefs around my health and food after visiting a couple of nutty doctors and after spending a month with my mom hyper analyzing my body, my eating habits, and my exercise habits. Those things triggered the fuck out of me and I've been trying to deal with that for the last 3 weeks or so. I'm so lucky to have a supportative roommate who is willing to help me talk through things with them and is willing to check up on me. That has been so fucking helpful and I cannot be more grateful for them. Dealing with nutty doctors: I almost overdosed on high dose iron pills that my oncologist overprescribed (I got refered to an oncologist for my iron deficiency it's a little weird I know). That definitely fucked up my blood work and when I brought it up to my primary care physician, he was like *oh know guess I forgot to note down you were on this prescription my bad. I guess things make more sense now.* The fact that he didn't notice this until I pointed it out and started getting weird symptoms is concerning to say the least but at least he told me to get off these pills. I'm going to get some more blood work done in a few weeks so I can actually figure out wtf is going on with my body. But yeah.... it's been a trip.... Made time to hang out with friends: I caught up with some of the friends I made last semester and its been going well. I'm proud of myself for maintaining these relationships and I found myself some good people to be around. It makes me feel more like a person tbh. Right at this moment I don't feel like putting myself out there all that much because of the mild depression but I'm sure it's going to pass. I'm currently living next to a trap house: this might be a whole post of it's own. But these people are really annoying and I hope they learn to stfu. I don't care what they are doing behind those doors just for fucks sake don't scream at 2 am in the morning on a weeknight for the love of god. My roommate and I celebrated lunar new years: We made sushi rolls and shrimp from scratch and then watched a couple movies together. We planned this out a couple weeks in advance, saved up, and then bought the stuff a couple days before. We also bought a bunch of snacks from the Asian market and I tried a lot of new foods, all of which I loved. It was just an all around good time and I'm looking forward to cooking with them not only because they are an amazing cook but because I really like their company. I've been getting ahead of my classes: I'm taking more classes than last semester and I'm working which is why I tried to get ahead espeically upon finding out that I got the internship I mentioned above. I've been rather stressed because of that and I've been spending a lot of long hours just doing that. I've been taking the last couple days to just rest so I don't end up burning myself out. It's a lot but I'm managaing. But yeah, the first week was me figuring out my schedules and trying to get my books in soon so that I don't fall behing and then the second week and half of this week was me getting ahead of things. It's been pretty exhausting. I'm awaiting to hear back from the study abroad people: I'm hoping to study abroad in Japan so I can knock out a couple of classes and so I can get out of the U.S. for a hot minute. I know there is a pandemic happening but I feel like I'm going insane at this point and I feel like I really need to branch out because of that and because I really want to have this be a part of my whole experience in college. This is something that is really important for me. I started weightlifting and going to the gym again: My roommate is doing this weight lifting class and they really need someone to keep them accountable. Lucky for them, I too need someone to keep me accountable when it comes to going to the gym. I went to the gym yesterday with my roommate just so we can see where we were at as a starting point. That was really fun and I will admit was a pleasant surprise since I haven't lost any strength in tha last 2 years and if anything am stronger now. I am really proud of the fact that I can do 200lbs on the leg press and 110lbs on the standing calf raise machine. The later was especially an ego boost because right after I finished, there was a gym bro that started using the machine and this man walked up to that machine looking really cocky. He didn't adjust the weight or anything so he was doing the same weight I was doing and this man ended up red in the face (guess the guy kept skipping leg day). And so from now on I'm going to use that as motivation in the gym. I strive to be that person who looks like they can't do much but will intimidate the fuck out of anyone who manages to see or try what I'm doing for a workout. Mild depression: I think this has to do with a combination of the following: mourning my college experience because I didn't have the happiest experience in the last few years mourning my family relationships since I'm in the process of cutting things off dealing with my body insecurities (and just insecurities in general) as well as a messed up relationship with food being burnt out mentally from dealling with school and running around with little time to breathe or have time for myself being burnt out emotionally from living with my parents during Christmas break and last but not least, just good ol' seasonal depression But basically, I haven't been feeling like myself lately and as a result I haven't been in a super sociable mood to where I feel comfortable with meeting with new people and I haven't been creative to where I felt as if I could make a lot of posts. I have been feeling like a more watered down version of myself for the last 3 weeks or so. I feel like I'm in a somewhat dissassociated state of sorts and I really have to stick to my meditation habit to stay presant. It's been a little frustrating but at the very least I feel like I can still function. I'm maintaing relationships with people and staying relatively social. I'm keeping up with school with no issues with staying up to date with assignments. I'm keeping up with my health physically. And finally I'm going all of the self care things I need to do to keep myself in check. I definitely don't feel like I'm spiraling but I do feel myself flat lining a bit and having an existential crisis about what it is I'm doing with my life and where tf I'm going to be at the end of the year. I do see this as a passing thing but doing this much emotional labor on a regular basis does feel exhausting at times. I feel myself really wanting this breath of fresh air emotionally speaking. I really just want a break tbh.

I think this dynamic is also important to take into consideration when trying to separate attraction from manipulation. Because there are some people who try to use the distance-pursuer dynamic to artificially hook someone in. And while there are some people who try to separate attraction skills and relationship skills, I think it's important to be more critical of "attraction strategies" since it can create a shaky foundation for any dynamic, casual or otherwise, depending on who you end up attracting.

Thoughts?

We typically find joy and comfort in things not in things that are good for us but rather things that we find familiar. So even though a toxic dynamic maybe detrimental, to some people, because that is what is normalized to them, that is what they find themselves gravitating towards because on some level it feels safe. They also tend to be drawn to people who are the same way. There is nothing wrong with challenging yourself to grow into a better version of yourself and to experience life, but there is a healthy and unhealthy way of going about it. Learning new skills and opening up to new experiences are great. But seeking out drama and negative emotions because you're used to solving problems due to always being on survival mode is far from functional. And to dysfunctional, chaotic people, things like happiness, contentment, peace, or just a healthy stable lifestyle seems boring to them because that isn't what they are used to.

1. Going to therapy: it helps to have someone who has a 3rd person pov on your life and who is analyzing you professionally to call out your biases and shortsightedness 2. Journaling: There are times where I ruminate on things but then when I put it on paper there is a part of me that sees it and thinks "wtaf am I thinking?" 3. Educating myself on a variety of points of view: Devilry can often occur when we aren't taking the pov's of other parties involved and acting from a point of self interest instead. Staying educated can help you get out of your perspective and therefore get out of your self interest even if it is momentarily. 4. Having a group of friends who will call you out on your bs and where you are fucking up: Accountability and knowledge of consequences helps a lot. 5. Being vigilant of your own thoughts and biases: Easier said than done but a lot of it comes down to mindfulness and introspection, especially when it comes to goals, motivations, world views/limiting beliefs and habits.

Blog To Do's This is a very short term list in the sense that I don't think that this will take longer than a couple months at most to complete. I'm just breaking this down to smaller chunks so it's less overwhelming and I can actually get something done. ACTUALLY MAKE THE WEBSITE Get the domain name Figure out the lay out Design the thing and add a little bit of ***spice*** Figure out how to work the damn thing since I have never made a website before and idk wtf I'm doing Edit my posts and figure out what I want to post Plan out when I'm going to post Figure out what my boundaries are regarding what and how I post (ethical concerns) Keep writing consistently Figure out monetization and views (think of this much later [as in2-3 months after making this thing], first worry about getting it up and running)

Taking Stock and Tying Up Loose Ends I thought I'd revisit a lot of my old To Do Lists to see how much I have crossed off and if I crossed off something prematurely to where the issue in question came back again. I decided to do this because normally, I don't cross out everything before I think I need to move on and make a new list so I can continue working on other things without getting nitpicky or hyper fixated on perfectionistic tendencies. As a result, sometimes somethings don't get crossed off or they get mixed into things that I have already dealt with. So this is me revisiting things in order to take stock and tie up loose ends. Common Themes (in order to most to least distressing): Lining up a job after graduation/ supporting yourself/ moving after college: I feel like this is a normal stressor for someone in my position who is going to be done with college this year and is dealing with uncertainty. The pandemic doesn't help but it is what it is. Still AAAHHHHHH!!! Imposter Syndrome: This is a whole can of worms and a lot of it has to do with how my college experience was pretty trash. I think I need more positive experiences and a change of environment while actively working through my limiting beliefs and finding a supportive community. Lack of Romantic/ Sexual Relationships: I mean this area of my life is rather underdeveloped but the main reason I try not to focus too much on it is because I noticed that when I do, it's not very constructive. Honestly, I think I just need to be patient and not force things. It will happen when it happens. My coping mechanisms: The ones I'm referring to aren't necessarily unhealthy but are kind of weird and a symptom/ by product of the shit I went through over the past 2 ish years. Sometimes I look at myself and think about how I encountered a new flavor of crazy through all of this. ***I originally did a post where I copied an pasted all of my previous posts but that post was waaayyy to cluttered. I instead made a word document to organize my thoughts for my purposes since even though it is a mess it makes sense to me. But I still wanted to include something in this journal so here is this post

Plan out time for your homework and readings and don't skip anything just because you think it isn't worth that many points. Keep your efforts consistent instead of grinding and wearing yourself out one week and the next week you completely slack off. Take notes before class by reading ahead of time (depending on your major you should probably already be doing that). Then, when you're in class, you know what questions you have and you won't have to pay attention in class as hard because you already retained most of the information by yourself. Still note down anything that comes up in class that wasn't in the readings. Take care of your health by having a consistent sleep schedule and not getting hungover every weekend. Stay up to date on vaccines and don't get yourself sick if you can avoid it. The sleep schedule thing is especially important if you have morning classes. Don't sleep in class lol. If you know you're the type of person who is prone to physical and mental illness, try to stay 2 weeks ahead of schedule when it comes to readings and assignments so that if something comes up, you won't be falling behind and stressed and you can just focus on feeling better. Have a couple friends you can talk to about school or at the very least some acquaintances in your class you exchange numbers with so that if you have any questions on any assignment or questions for preparing for an exam, you have someone to talk to. I think studies have also shown that doing things in a group in college can help with your grades and for a sense of social support. Talk to your professors during their office hours if you are having any issues with the course, whether it's because you're not understanding something in class, you had something come up in your personal life that might affect your performance, or on future career prospects. If you have that open communication with them, they can better help you with the course and if you find that you're on the edge with a B+ but you aren't at an A, your professors are more likely to bump you up like half a point because they know you're putting in the effort. Also, when you're studying, aim to actually understand the material instead of memorizing things. Use memorization as a last resort if you know you won't be tested on some material in future classes. Because when you understand something and integrate it into your world view, not only do you sharpen your critical thinking skills, but you also have a good foundation to go off of when your future classes build on the same concepts. Memorization on the other hand will have you start back at square 1 in many times unless you're consistently doing it which is a lot of work with not much pay off. I know damn well that after that final is over that you aren't going to keep refreshing concepts to keep your memory so aim for understanding instead.

according to this I would probably be considered a centrist. I don't think that's accurate for me politically at all lol. Also, people make memes with the political compass all the time lmaoo

I do think it's good to try to make the most of this time and utilize it as an opportunity for growth. And I think in the long run that this will benefit society as a whole. I think collectively that the whole Great Resignation is a perfect example of this because the lockdowns helped people reflect and realize that their jobs aren't fulfilling and aren't treating them right. However, while we can use these difficult circumstances to grow, I think it's also important to acknowledge the pain and the loss we have gone through. I feel that sometimes people try to look at terrible situations and turn it on the bright side as a way of coping which is fine but also it isn't the right move for everyone as it can lead to things like toxic positivity and spiritual bypassing. For me when it comes to feeling like I have "wasted time" (this is for me personally, it may or may not resonate with everyone) I think about how I had to move back in with my parents and how that has greatly limited my independence and put me back in a very unhealthy situation and likely stunted my growth as a result. I think about how I didn't get the opportunity to travel like I hoped to in my early 20s. I think about a lot of the missed social opportunities ranging from meeting new people and having social gatherings. I think about the lack of peace of mind I got for the last 2 years and how I couldn't make decisions or plans ahead of time because everything was so volatile. And finally, I think of the ways that this pandemic has forced me to grow up before my time and how I didn't get the opportunity to have fun and be a carefree young person. Of course I can do all of these things and more in the years to come so there is no time that has been wasted so to say so that is pretty reassuring but when it comes to a global crisis that has been dragging on with little end in sight, it does take a toll on you. It isn't the same as deciding for yourself to go into hermit mode and work on yourself. I do agree that you can grow quite a bit from contemplating and reflecting internally. At the same time, experiencing life externally and not being stuck in your house for 2 years is also a huge factor in growth especially when it comes to learning how to move and interact in the world as an adult when you are in your formative years. Dude.... travelling during a pandemic isn't a flex. I feel that what I'm trying to say is being strawmanned. Yes you can take care of yourself and not age like a moldy tuna sandwich left out in the rain but it's still important to have realistic standards and not pit yourself beside celebrities who have a whole team making sure they look a certain way. Aging is normal, there isn't anything wrong with it, and it isn't something to be feared. Honestly, maybe this is my shit ability to be able to tell people's ages but a lot of people look the same between 18 to 30 ish. Looks wise, the difference between a person at 23 and the same person at 19 is miniscule unless something really drastic happens. Let's look at what you'll look like in another 20+ years and then we'll talk lol.