Chris365

Hey, I only put these last thoughts down when the relationship was already over, looking back I started realizing I'm not really happy. Except the sex part was good. The sex jokes were I guess poor attempts, they were hilarious in my head... of course that's not the way I think about women. Another thought I had last night is how much free time I have now, to do whatever I please, not to attempt to entertain her, for fear of her getting bored. It is really freeing, a good sign in my mind that we were not a good match. We are just so different in our personality types, and the way we see the world, that I constantly tried to abstain from expressing my thoughts for fear of her not getting offended or upset. For example, she's really into conspiracy theories, chemtrails, lizard people, numerology, illuminati, channellings (I used to read Mike Quinsey and Blossom Goodchild with her, mindnumbing stuff), past lives, souls. You name it, she believes in it. I'm a previous hardcore atheist, and constantly had to bite my tongue about these things. She is a great girl, made me feel extremely loved and cared for ( when dinner was cooked), she has a perfect body, and I feel I've grown a lot in this relationship. She actually introduced me to spirituality, and I'll always love her be thankful to her for what she's offered me so freely . It's just that now I feel I'm moving past it, and we started growing apart...

Well that didn't take long... we are splitting finances right now. breaking up... no, not because of the work colleague, but because I don't pay her enough attention. She's working weekends, and tonight, getting out at 6pm, wanted the dinner cooked and ready... it wasn't. She mentioned it a few times before (mostly getting off work at 9-10pm, and I started cooking the dinner around that time. I didn't think 6pm is also a "Dinner must be ready" type of deal, so from yesterdays overflowing with "love" today she's so angry she could stab someone. Tbh even if this works out (doesn't look like it now), I probably won't want it to because she's just too unstable. Maybe if I was more advanced spiritually it would be easier to handle, but Jesus...

Since the topic started, she had a couple of orgasms, not counting this morning since I believe she faked it - hey, I asked for it so she must love me lots :hearts: And tonight, the hottest sex I've ever had. She has this idea that she would have liked to have me as a first (and only) partner, so we did it like inexperienced 18 year olds. No, I didn't finish in 10s , im in my forties ffs. To be continued....

Good thoughts everybody, thanks. Flirting discussion needs to be had. Stay tuned....

Sounds like freebase to me, if it dissolves in vinegar

Here

there was a thread a few days ago about plugging LSD, a few people's experience was that the peak is higher and the trip shorter, I'll try find it

I watched that video, good suggestion... will try practice more... The thing is, I think it's mostly in her mind. She read something on the 'net ( so it must be true ), "Chemical Brain" or somesuch, that shaped her beliefs - Initially when she explained how she feels about orgasms, I thought, yeah, cool (secretly hoping I'd 'convert' her). Then when we first started having sex, for the first 2-3 times she had a couple 'involuntary' orgasms, then she would cry and feel bad for a few hours. After some time, she started having orgasms every time we had sex, with no adverse effects (and she was obviously enjoying them) - great, thought I, she's over the belief in energy drainage. One particular day she had 4, I believed she was well and truly 'healed'. But now, for the past 4-5 weeks, she's back to withholding it, even going so far as stopping abruptly during the act, and making me stop as well... for 10-20 seconds until her excitement goes down, then we're back at it. Some would say this is great, just do the business, only care about your satisfaction, but until I shift the focus from that thought, I can't stop thinking I'm 'using' her - Yes, the thought is incorrect, it's false, still I'm identified with it for a few minutes, maybe hours sometimes.

I'm still working my way up the 5MeO dosage, forgive me lord

I used to take valium (diazepam) on and off for years. Might have 2-3 week break sometimes. Now I gave it up for the last 6 months. Researching online where to get psychedelics, I found a source for RC benzos. I have some nights (maybe 1/month) where I cannot sleep at all. Are benzos problematic for spiritual work, or can they be used sparingly (i.e. 1-3x/month) Will upping the 5Meo dose fix everything?

Good call, my mg scale arrived today. Leo's plugging video seemed to have the same 10mg microscoop as me, so I thought I'm safe enough... wrong ! Turns out, my scoops are: 6mg is 3.4, 10 is 6, 30 is 13 So I guess my max dosage was 13mg until now. That's a relief. So next planned "20mg" will be 12, since last "16" was around 9-10mg

I think might have been @Leo Gurathat said microscoops are more precise than mg scale

I have microscoops for measuring , a 6, 10, 15, 30mg, but i think the measuring error doesn't let me make such small increments... I'm not convinced 3x 6mg microscoops is 2mg more than 1x 10mg + 1x 6mg... I also have a mg scale on the way...

Might try snorting freebase with no vinegar, and see how it compares... freebase dissolves completely in vinegar, I would have thought it's absorbed easier like that? Increasing dosage 25%... I might die, inshallah ?

snorted vinegar + water solution. I'm new to this, apologies if using wrong terms... I thought 'insuflated' means snorted, inhaled would be snort a solution...

I'm a 5 Meo newbie, but successfully inhaled up to 16mg, you only need 1 drop of vinegar to dissolve. It'll sting a little bit, but that's only a reminder that we are doing serious work, and maybe stops you abusing it

16mg inhaled, effects equivalent to 30mg plugged. On the come up, I relaxed my body quite deeply, and was questioning the bilateral shaking I've seen others go through. No impulse to do that for me. Thoughts were appearing constantly about how I'm going to write about the experience on the forum, so better pay attention . At one time I got the suggestion that maybe bilateral shaking is if you try to move the body, tried, but couldn't... maybe if I pushed harder? anyway... On the come up, I focused on universal love, God, Oneness (As much as I can at current consciousness level) . From other people's reports, I expected once you set the intention, the molecule will show you what you 'need' to see, with no apparent ego/mind input... is that only on a breakthrough, I guess? Is the consciousness work better attempted after come up? When I started to be able to slightly regain control over my body... for some reason, I also started having thoughts about food... Maybe I dosed weed by mistake I get the feeling that my attempts to raise consciousness without psychedelics are on the same path, same direction, only much less intense. at least that's good to have the confirmation I'm not deluding myself too much during meditation Next attempt, 20mg ... ( these are my first times using psychedelics)

I went with 5mg, 10, 15, 20,25,30... Effects from mild energy on 5mg to not being able to move my body on 30mg at the peak. I trust if I experience ego death I would know it. During the later dosages I was very calm and trying to test my awareness/consciousness compared to sober state, (since 5Meo is a dial for consciousness, right?) ... I don't feel it's much different. There are some energies swirling around, and I tried various things, like self inquiry, vipassana, and there are some more intense effects, maybe I would have expected a bit more. A special after-effect is a mild state of Presence and non-duality about 24h after dosing, for 3-4 hours. I call it 'mild', but if I was able to remain in that state all the time, that would be me happy. I don't want to call it a glimpse, I just want to 'BE' With nasal administration, for my first try, I made the mistake of dosing an unknown amount (before my microscoops arrived) (must have been 10mg max) and it had a very quick onset, could barely make it to bed before I couldn't move ... lesson learned. For next dose I'm thinking 16mg again nasal, and play with technique.

Worked my way up to 30mg plugged. No ego death yet, that I can tell. I think I'll try experimenting with inhalation, did max 16mg, still no breakthrough. Was trying to avoid vaping it (I'm not a smoker), but it may be the only sure way to get it. Oh well... Any recommendations for online pipe shops?

Doesn't dissolve in water very well, so it's probably freebase. I sent a question to the supplier. Thanks.

Any idea if this is freebase or HCL? And what's best ROA?