All_Around_Me

@cetus56 Thanks) J have a lot of actually)) It is difficult to answer now) I guess languages was the main one, but I always had a feeling that I can be okay with anything, it was difficult to chose something particular) Right now everything comes with no effort, it`s really great, I am finally able to enjoy all those things I wanted to, but couldn`t before. The liberation. Indeed.

@cetus56 I can`t agree more They are the tools of liberation.

@Dragallur I was comfortable with relying on rationality and science, but yes, there still were a lot of gaps. And yes, reading books, watching topic-related videos and joining the community are very helpful. (I forgot to mention this)

@Dragallur You are welcome) I don`t know. Honestly. I didn`t expect it can happen to me so soon. I guess I made quite a big progress with self-inquiry and while meditating I desperately craved for a change, since I had a depressive episode. At one point I had a feeling that something may happen, but then I was like `No, you need years of practice to get a remarkable shift`. But it happened. Basically I wanted to obtain healthier mind condition. Maybe that`s why I didn`t do any research about such experiences. At least you need to know about mind attacks after such experience or you will have a really hard time. It will struck with everything you were cultivating (rationalism, for example, or strong trust in science or anything else).

@cetus56 Thanks a lot! I really enjoyed watching this video)

@abrakamowse Great) I`m looking forward to read it!

@Dragallur I guess what you feel now is called self-conceit. Personally for me it was always difficult to meditate because of low blood pressure. I almost instantly fell asleep and could be asleep for all meditation time) even though I was sitting) That`s why I used to do a lot of intellectual work, including self-inquiry. In fact you don`t have to be nice to everybody, what you need is understanding why others are acting in a certain manner or saying something unpleasant to you, what are their real intentions by saying or doing something. It can help a lot. In such way you can create a natural positive reaction, instead of artificially created by your ego. And if there are things that you can`t understand (about others) you just need to accept people as they are, since there definitely are some reasons, which made them to act in a certain way. I would say that ego can`t die, its like some kind of software. But experiencing that you are not only your thoughts creates some kind of distance from it. However, you need to be well-prepared for that and to have certain knowledge, otherwise such experience will create a lot of stress to you. Take your time.

@abrakamowse Thanks for sharing your experience) It was really interesting to read about. Sometimes it`s really strange how some details are getting a meaning much later and than suddenly arise from the depth of your memory. Are you going to write a continuation of your story?

@Mutupo Thanks for the video) That was really interesting) @abrakamowse Thank you) I wish I knew this before my panic) Thankfully I received help in time)

@bobbyward I wrote about it there: At first I didn`t know what is going on and panicked.

I was overwhelmed with anger and rage. After my university graduation it became even worse. Ukraine is quite a corrupted country and in small towns the corruption is even stronger, so no matter how hard I tried I couldn`t get high results, but instead of losing motivation for study I tried even harder and that created a lot of stress. In the end I couldn`t speak normally with my family. I was yelling. I was always irritated by something. Also I had obsessive thoughts, fears and depressive episodes. I was spending all my free time behind computer screen. It felt like a constant torture rather by obsessive thoughts and fears or by depression. That`s why I couldn`t give up on meditation and self-inquiry.

@cetus56 Yes, exactly. It is really hard to relax and to accept things as they are, when your mind gives you tons of frightening ideas what happened to you. @Jakeumz Yes, you are right. When I had a second experience of emptiness in my head I wasn`t scared, I had a thought that it feels really good. When you are going into this `emptiness` deeper and deeper it feels really great until the moment you notice your ego panicking somewhere at the background)

@Ayla Thank you a lot! This guide really helped me. I guess I had that initial `seeing` almost a weel ago and yes, for the first three days I thought that nothing happened, even though I had certain bodily sensations. I realized that something actually changed on a third day and had a huge panic. I feel much relieved now.

I can`t agree more with you. Having nobody to talk to during such experience is a hell. I had a huge stress because of my mind. When that panick became unbearable I decided to surrender to that feeling and nothing happened. I also remembered Leo talking in one of his videos about suffering caused by resistance. That calmed me a little, but mind continued attacking me. That didn`t reduce stress completely, so yes, luckily such a forum exists.

@abrakamowse Thanks) @cetus56 Yes, I think I should do this. Thank you

@cetus56 I feel calmer today, thanks) Yes, I got some sleep, actually at first it seemed like some kind of sleeping meditation, because I heard my mum asking me something, but I couldn`t answer. Also I remember having some dreams, so yes) I just understood what is going on (well, its not that I didn`t know what kind of process is that, but at first I thought that nothing essential happened at all, so for two days I was super calm, but then I realized that in fact something did happened, because I started to act absolutely different and then that intense panicking started). I am really thankfull to everybody, who posted replies in this topic. It helped me a lot.

@abrakamowse I went to Self-Actualization Journals and saw a very helpful guide about that panic I had. Now all those reactions and thoughts I had make much more sense. Its great you mentioned journals. I will definitely read more. Thank you once again!

@Isle of View I just came back from the park and yes, it felt really relaxing. Thank you a lot for an explanation. You are absolutely right. @cetus56 Thanks @abrakamowse Thank you for sharing your experience! The more I read the more I understand what is actually going on. I also remembered that I had that `empty head sensantion` two times before, but they were so short that I even didn`t bother to question what that actually were. Once, when I was a child and went with my father to watch New Year fireworks. For a short moment I realized that I stopped thinking and that scared me. It was as if I merged with that crowd that was around us. And also when I was dancing for a few hours. I understood that I don`t control my movements and the head was empty. But experience during dancing wasn`t scary at all. @Mutupo Thank you! I read that article)

@Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel much relieved now. @cetus56 Yes, right now I realize that I was reckless.

@cetus56 It was 936 hz.

@cetus56 I hope it will help.

@Isle of View Thank you for the explanation. Yes, I tried standard meditation and had the same sensations after that. Do you know how I can get ballance again?

@cetus56 Thanks for explaining) But what about high blood pressure, high pulse rate and inability to sleep? Is that okay or I should visit a doctor and take some medicine? Maybe those are the results of a shock?

@cetus56 Yes, I understood that something changed drastically in me. All my anger just vanished. I started to act like a completely another person. I don`t want to fall back to an illusion, I want to be able to sleep at night)

@cetus56 Yes, its the first time I got such intense feelings, but I`m afraid to meditate now. And I am quite bothered by the fact I don`t want to sleep at all. How long such state can last? And how can I reduce my fear?