alden

This is because God secretly likes limitation and struggle.

alas, the master has returned.

@lukej get your ass off this forum and go do the work then!

@lukej would you hire a therapist who has $100k in debt is confused about his own path and "still wants to help" people? it sounds like you're in layers of skepticism which is a mess but you still have a way out, the only thing is YOU are standing in the way.

@levani isnt that why you're on this forum? to realize you've put yourself through your own suffering? and you limit yourself by saying "I haven't got there yet br0"

@lukej I read your whole story. You will flinch at most of what im gonna write here if I may preface first; at the onset, sounds like you still have some deep seated fears, and quite frankly you seem to be in no position to help anyone at all, if you cannot help yourself. So get ready for the long road because thats the real fear here. You have to seriously consider the possibility that you will have to live with your parents for at least 5 more years (given the facts of your financial and health status that you openly admitted). If everything you say in your predicament is true, then the best way to handle this in an object sense is to literally sit down in a room by yourself with no distractions and WRITE DOWN all the the problems you want to solve in your life. I don't care how many times you have already done this, you are fully responsible for the position you are in, so you need to get yourself out. Once you've done that, you must accept the hand that existence has dealt you and be willing to lay your entire sense of future, ego and past on the piece of paper that you will write it on and then make a clear cut plan from there. Again I don't care if you have done this or have even taken leo's life purpose course (which i recommend if you have not) because this is what it is gonna take. So be ready to accept what ever you find at the end of your journaling session; if you have to sell everything, live in a car, or go do anything else extreme like eat nothing but rice for 10 years, then so be it. But remember, You are creating your life one thought at a time, so be careful of literally every negative thought that arises in consciousness. thats my advice.

I would say that it has given me more of a wider perspective on why I make music, and also in nullifying fear-based writing and producing.

What has been the price paid for your current level of self-assessed wisdom? Do you believe the harder the hardship yields greater wisdom if any wisdom is to be attained at all? are you overall grateful of your experiences? Or spiteful as you curse the predicaments of your hardship?