Nick_98

I'm in my late twenties. I already have a job but it doesn't pay well enough to get my own place.

Hello Verdes, thanks for offering assistance. However, this is not an applicable advice at the moment.

Thanks Dodo

Gotcha

Op I’m sorry but who told you that everyone is like this girl ? Maybe you just happen to stumble across the wrong people quite a lot. But that doesn’t mean everyone is like this . ok how to change this situation to make it more beneficial to you ? i don’t want to project the situation outwards and not focus on yourself, that will be a waste of time. practice non Judgment, learn to not judge this girl. Hard enough? That’s your challenge have a good day

Look the thing is if it is not an interesting read it won’t stick to your head. Ask yourself one simple question. What’s interesting in what I am reading? If you can spot the interesting thing you’ll be engaged with it and learn a lot more, but if you ask this question and you don’t find anything interesting chances are the book is not the right one for you.

my life purpose is to drink coffee in the morning and meet awesome people. Simple as that !! 🙂 you can not alienate yourself from society and think you will find your purpose that way. Your purpose is embedded in communicating with other people. That’s what I’ve recently realised. Your main purpose is to belong somehow somewhere. And people can feed you a lot of purpose doing that alone will rarely work. You need other people feed you the purpose. That’s it.

I’m sorry you had to go through a breakup. my advice to you is to relax.. it is not the end of the world! Take a break from searching for a girl you need a break you can’t let these thoughts of wanting to get a rebound control you relax relax relax you need to relax😁

I used to be like that, very excited. But I want to clarify something, maybe you’re just horny. And guess what, that’s a good thing! Your Libido is functioning well, you’re emotionally on the roof that is the best time in your life. Unfortunately, after you age you will see these emotions do not last forever. My opinion that if you have sex it will be more pleasurable than the ppl you’re comparing yourself with. Relax!

My honest opinion ? God is testing you both, especially you. the question for you would be , do you want to sacrifice the small things to have with him a life long relationship ? it’s not about who did what wrong. It’s about you sacrificing the things that are irritating in your relationship to see if you would last for a lifetime. If you both are not willing to quit these arguments that feed on taking your inner peace this relationship cannot continue.

You didn’t do anything wrong stop overthinking it. It’s a volume game, the more you find leads the more likely one is going to go on a date with you. Don’t stress yourself No reason. if a girl is really into you you could text her Fuck you and she will still go out on a date with you

People are a reflection to your own self

Hello , I come from a muslim background, I got taught in school about it and I'm also a muslim based on my family identity. However I would say , Leo should not blamed for not understanding islam, I as well do not understand it completely. There is a HUGE language barrier between English and Arabic which makes Leo in an unfair disadvantage to try to decipher the teachings. The fact that Leo even read about islam is something I highly respect it shows the character of a very open minded and knowledgable person. The language in which the Quraan was given is a passes Highest levels of the Arabic language. You need someone who studies that for over 20+ years to start to decipher just the logic behind islam. However there are general things that could be well understood even if you are a foreigner to the language. Like for example Quraan's main rehearsed phrases. Quran Mostly focus on two aspects, The Heaven and the Hell. The people who believed in Mohamed the messenger , and the people who didn't believe that mohamed carried a true message. Quraan states that the people who believed in mohamed and did what the quraan explains will go to heaven. for example: Praying 5 times a day, Marrying only 4 women tops only under the condition that you provide for them "equally" , being kind to your parents even if they are mean, etc.. The people who do not follow mohamed are automatically labelled as NON believers , and shall go to hell. Quraan describes heaven and hell, Also it describes the kind of punishment god will do to the non believers , and what kind of Ever lasting peace god will provide for the Believers. The day which the Quraan is talking about is labelled the last day or correctly speaking" يوم الآخرة""Yum al akhra" .. the day where people will be revived again according to quraan. Anyways, I just want to say that since I got taught Quraan since I was a child, and even had a teacher that visited me weekly to teach me some lessons, I wanna say that there is a HUGE language barrier there , even if you translate Quraan you are not doing it a big favor. Quraan is written in "Fusha" it's like a high level german language in terms of its difficulty. You need to be fluent in arabic first in order to start understanding "fusha" language. Translation can get you so far , but you will never reach the entire meaning. so guys.. Props to you for even reading about it. that was a brief about islam. Additional notes Even tho I don't practice islam I want to share with you my favorite "Hadith" from prophet mohamed. Hadith means a sentence or couple of sentences that mohamed has said Are you ready to know my favorite Hadith ? It goes like this.. " Whoever believes in God and Yum al Akhra" should say something nice or shut up" that's my favorite hadith. It does mean that you shouldn't curse , you shouldn't irritate someone else by your words. It's as well in my opinion one of the hardest things to do. Try it Also That is my favorite hadith in general I don't mean anything against OP. OP presented us with a valid argument which I highly respect. Props to you op and Props to you Leo as well. Have a good day.

I have been thinking about this question for a couple of days and it still doesn’t make any sense to me. In the most popular religions like christianity and Islam, you are encouraged to have sex as long as you’re married to the person that you’re having sex with. it’s even stated in islam that you can have sex with 4 different women as long as you are married to them and providing to them equally the same share of money/assets. it doesn’t make any sense to me that Prophet mohamed who was a religious person did have a wife and children. now how does religion not forbid sex ? How does it encourage sex instead through marriage ? I believe a person who is very close to god would abstain from Pleasing themselves. At the end of the day what’s sex more than pleasing your own self. i believe that a real religion would forbid sex and calls on abstaining from it permanently, that makes a lot more sense if you’re trying to be “religious” does anybody have any explanation how and why is that ?

My friend thanks for telling us your story. look you don’t need to have friends, like I said just a good morning when you pass by a homeless person in the street will make you instantly more social. I don’t mind if I do with you a quick chit chat over video. But I am not sure if the forum permits it. So better be safe than sorry Hahaha

Hello, i’ve wasted two years of my life seeking spiritual achievements. During this time I had almost minimal contact with people around me. Even my parents I spoke with Barely. After the end of this Period, I’ve started socialising again. I wouldn’t say that I’ve became social instantly but it was rather some gradual steps that made me today very extroverted. I started by stopping ignoring people and started by acknowledging their presence, then step by step I became social again. During the time I stayed away from people I faced existential crisis, suicidal thoughts and had almost no reason to live! I kept asking myself everyday why am I alive and what is my purpose. I had struggled with deep existential thoughts that made me almost hopeless, I felt during this time that in the future I would me homeless, because I almost have no contact with people and don’t care about their presence. Since I’ve changed and started being social I noticed a big improvement in my psychological well being. The truth is you need people to survive and feel good about yourself. Anyone who says otherwise does underestimate the human need, and probably there is a big chance they’re gonna face a lethal existential crisis that makes them question their reason to be alive. I don’t recommend that to anybody. if you can be social, start by taking small steps, like acknowledging the other person’s presence with the people around you. Just the fact that you acknowledge the other person’s presence will make you instantly more social and people would like to spend time around you. I just wanna say that I’ve turned from an extremely introverted person, to an extremely extroverted one. I enjoy telling people Good Morning every day, even if it is through a social media app. Be social, Avoid isolation. You need it for your health and well being. People can give you a lot of purpose to live. Even if you don’t share the same thoughts start by acknowledging their presence, welcoming them, or just say Good Morning when you pass by a homeless person in the street. Good Luck. Or better tho Good Morning 😁 A message for people who think that they are above being social. some people think that they are too good that they are now above being social, that they are too good to be with other people. i challenge you to test your limits, if you’re open minded enough test your ability to meet other people and just listen to them without judgments. if you are too open minded you can meet some people through an app and while you hear their ideas take a deep breath and don’t judge. if you think you’re way to good to meet another one, or you’re crafted with a power no one can understand then listen to others and don’t judge them. That’s your challenge. Build a connection with someone who’s opposing your thoughts. if you are non religious, listen to another person talking to you about the bible and how it shaped their life If you are not into sport listen to someone who talks about how sports are extremely beneficial for them. Don’t judge. if you are into meditation sit with someone that talks shit about meditation, about how bad it is for you. Be open minded. Don’t judge , acknowledge their presence. And that’s my challenge for you if you think you are too good to socialise with other people. goodluck😁

Hello , I was just sitting here self inquiring while I thought about something really interesting. I don't know if that's true or not. But I feel that my thoughts are coming from above not below. I mean that when I think about experiencing myself I feel my thoughts are coming from above , the upper part of my body, not from below, not from my legs. Why aren't my thoughts coming from my legs? And does that mean that thoughts arise from the brain ? or from inside the skull ? I will have to inquire deeper but I am having a hard time going past this particular thought. Even Chatgpt says thoughts arise from brain activity. Where do you suggest me taking this inquiry ? What questions should come up next ?

So you agree with me that you feel the same way ? should we stop the inquiry here or inquire further ? the question would be where is "there" located. The thing is , I feel like my mind is a lying machine, but I can't spot where it is lying. I can't catch it !

I highly agree. Even tho I have never taken psychedelics or can't claim I have a direct experience of anything. I have exhausted ralston's techniques in the books , meditated and self inquired and haven't gained any grasp of the truth. The question What is ? which you ask when you inquire doesn't make any sense in your normal state of conscious. For example if you ask what is a couch? Your mind will reply " A couch is just a couch you are so dumb to ask this question" , and if you ask " what is the universe ? " it makes no sense , the universe is just that. From a normal state of consciousness these questions do not provoke you to penetrate deep into the present moment and even if you did , you will not penetrate deep enough to grasp anything. At least I'm speaking about my experience. Ralston's techniques have failed Horribly with me and I have tried them a thousand times.

Unfortunately won't be able to come since I am not from the states. However , I find this is a good idea. My advice would be to start with a small sample of 10 people till you are confident with hosting the event. You need some experience so I believe you need to start with a small sample.

Hello Everyone, I've made this post since I can't seem to find a relevant post regarding this using the search function. My question is for you , Did spiritual work diminish your level of empathy ? According to google Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. I see that there is a lack of statistical research regarding this, so I encourage you to share your own personal experience. I'm going to share mine below. According to my experience I feel that spiritual work has made me NOT care , and somehow became aloof. which means my empathy levels have diminished , especially when we say that empathy is sharing the feelings with another. I feel I don't share feelings with other people so much like I used to be before doing spiritual work. So my concern is if spiritual work , has made a direct impact on my ability to share my feelings with others. That doesn't mean I feel like I want to hurt them or any sort of craziness, it just means I feel the bond between me and others are not that strong. I believe that when I detached myself a little bit from my thoughts with meditation, it made a direct impact on my relationships. Still there is an absence of evidence and even statistics that demonstrate that this is true , or if there is a direct correlation between spiritual work & empathy. (Of course I'm a little bit biased about my position) What about you ? How do you feel about your current level of empathy compared to before starting spiritual practices? Are you able to measure it ? Do you see a difference in your personal life ? Since we have chosen that the sample that would answer this question would be a part of the people from the forum , I believe that there will be a margin of error regarding the representation of this data since it doesn't represent the people who don't browse the forum anymore. However I'm curious to hear your answers. Shoot your shots.

Can you please elaborate more on how did you harm yourself ?

@theleelajoker Thanks for your contribution!

For years personal help masters have given their advices on maintaining eye contact, How it is a powerful way to convey confidence and power. This post is quite different, I'm writing to express the power of breaking eye contact, to convey certainty and the power you have over your attention. Here are some scenarios , where breaking eye contact could be useful. break eye contact when you feel the other person is wasting your time break eye contact when the other person tries to mess with your emotions , taking your attention away will benefit you in this case break from eye contact when someone is trying to be sneaky or play a game on you break from eye contact in a situation where you feel your attention is being wasted, by nonsense, this shows you have dominance over your greatest and most valuable currency: Your Attention. Finally , I just want to highlight that breaking from eye contact can be a sign of weakness. But that is not what we are discussing here in that post. This post was about the benefits of breaking from eye contact, How you choose to apply that in your day to day life is up to you. But I just realized lately that breaking from eye contact does not only promote confidence, but dominance as well. When you show the other person you don't have interest when they try to get under your skin, you weaken their ability to dominate you. The more control you have over your attention, the more powerful you become. This was one if not the most valuable lesson I have learned in social interactions. I've never thought that taking your attention away from someone , can make you THAT powerful. hopefully this benefits all of you reading this post. Thanks for reading.

Hello, This post is one of the most interesting post you will see. I'm trying to do the opposite of what actualized.org teaches. I'm trying to quit meditation, I can't. I've tried to lie to myself and follow a belief system , I couldn't. I tried to quit the work several times , but every time I come back to either Actualized.org or Meditating. I'm posting this to ask you how to quit ? and why can't I ? I'm tired of not reaching Awakening, and at the same time being interested in Spirituality. I sit and watch my Breath every day, why do I keep doing it ? I thought like I've chosen this path at conscious will , but it seems now that the path got me in its trap.. I spend everyday at least a while meditating or contemplating about the nature of existence. I don't have problem doing that ,in fact my problem comes entirely from being tied to wasted effort. If I spend this time worrying about my future or my career , wouldn't I be better off ? The problem is I keep coming back to it , I come back to meditating , I observe my thoughts and don't engage with them , i try to contemplate. But at the end I'm not an awakened being , so Why am I wasting all this effort ? Did I choose the path , or did the path choose me ? I don't know. Does anybody suffer from the same problem ? I just want to live like a normal guy , but I can't ! I always come back to meditating , it's a form of addiction to me its embedded to my personality. What do you think my future will be ? Will I reach any kind of spiritual understanding ? Did you ever get stuck like that ? Is this a part of the process ? Sorry for the long rant, I am looking forward to see if someone relates.