Koeke

You could also look at Pierre Grimes. You will find lots of videos where he goes through philosophical works with people. He calls it philosophical midwifery. Named after Socrates who likened his philosophical activities to his mother's profession of midwifery, where the other person basically does all the work and where he is just a facilitator of sorts.

I like how you set the bar high. But maybe you are setting it a little too high. See if you experience that same mystical wonder for the sensations inside your body.

Haha, I guess this just hadn't ever happened. In the original post I made my suspicions sound more serious than they were. I was just taken aback and was confused / deflecting the compliment. I did say yes to the date though and will go.

@blueberries @Roy thank you both. Makes sense.

Meaning: she just followed her natural attraction instincts? I agree. She was honest and it was natural but she was relying on a script because of her anxiousness. It was gamey in the sense that she wasn't really capable of having a relaxed conversation with another normal person with flaws. The anxiousness of the approach just filled her mind up too much I guess. Another reason for the rigid conversation was because I was taken aback a bit.

I, a 21 year old male, got approached by a woman yesterday, who I suppose was a few years older than me, telling me I was good looking and she asked me on a date. I said yes. Now, she wasn't the most beautiful woman out there, but decent looking. Her face at least. I didn't check out her body really but she had a healthy weight... Anyway, she told me she studied some kind of animation thing. High male ratio. In my view she shouldn't have a problem dating wise or sex wise. Where does she get the energy and commitment from to approach me? Mind you, she was quite "gamey" and nervous. She said something along the lines of: "Hi, I know this is forward but I saw you and thought you were really attractive. You probably get this a lot but I wanted to come and talk to you." ie.: a very standard opening line. Seemed like she had seen some videos about gaming. I responded by saying that I don't get told this more often. She said I should. What I'm trying to illustrate is that it was a bit try hard. Why didn't she have a good abundance of men interested in her such that she'd have no motivation to go through this inner struggle of approaching me? Don't get me wrong, I admire her for this, but still.. why? During the conversation I was actually reasonably disconcerted being suspicious of her intentions (like I imagine a woman would be if the roles were reversed) even though I could empathize well with her struggle and nervousness. Thing is, I just never saw this in a woman! Am I just her type? Does she just want sex? I told her before she asked me on a date that I'm only staying in the city for 2 weeks. Good chance this didn't compute for her and she wasn't really listening and running on a script. Again, she was quite nervous. A sentence or two later she asked me on a date and the 5 minute conversation afterwards didn't run too smoothly either. I'm also doubting about going on the date. I would honestly only go to talk to a native Bostonian to get to know the city better and to have a chance at sex. How unusual is this considering she's probably just insecure and doesn't recognize it when guys (who probably aren't too smooth either) hit on her? Please enlighten me y'all!

How would you say it coincides with Qi Gong? The practice itself and what bodily systems it is working on.

Can you please send some links for more info on this?

@omar30 I think the last 'this' refers to the way we use self-love practices as band-aids to get excited and forget the real lack of self-love we feel.

Couldn't guess Ken Wilber

Don't forget that people thought that Wim Hof had special and unique abilities too for a long time. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36IX7fjfTVM Turns out to be wrong. Training is what got him there (for the most part). It's tricky.

Bob Ross

Well maybe, but porn is a lot more shallow than genuine friendship.. If a woman only has guy-friends things would seem very fishy to me. If not, they don't have to be. I would always be suspicious, but I have had decent friends for a while who were attractive women about which I was clear early on that I wouldn't pursue them. I guess it comes down to how clear your gf and her male friends are about the potential for a romantic relationship to emerge between them.

Why?

So I have a girlfriend who has a lot more common sense than most people but she cringes at and ridicules spirituality. I have been telling myself that spirituality is about truth and that it doesn't really matter "what side you're on" (it is about vertical growth, not horizontal differences) and so whether she is "on the side of spirituality" seemed irrelevant to me. She only sees the shallow side of how spirituality is understood in our culture (the vast majority), is rightly put off by it, and is closed off to the valid and deeper truths explained that simply aren't probed as much in non-spiritual contexts. It felt off but I haven't confronted her about it much because I say to myself she is just making fun of shallow people, which I find childish but kept brushing away. One question I have is: Of what significance is this thing we might call spirituality, as an idea to be identified with, useful/a catalyst in terms of getting more conscious? As a general direction of who we want to be and what we want to look into in our contemplations? I guess it isn't all that much. I mean, you can substitute spirituality for : radical but grounded skepticism, radical introspection, not-knowing, among many others. When I said in a frustrated way that I have meditated my ass of for almost 2 years (average of 3 hours a day) to more or less say: "I think this spirituality thing is important, am I deluded? Am I the same as these people? Do I open my mouth too to pretend I'm so spiritual? How do you reconcile that?" She initially dismissed it but later said she was open to read something I think good. I haven't recommended her anything because she didn't mention this again. I guess I'm just too passive here, too much of a 'good boy' who tries not to be seen 'preaching' and being defensive. So what is this relationship between vertical growth and horizontal differences? Why are there memes that seem to correspond at every stage? Why do people who embrace spiritual ideas generally seem so dumb and shallow compared to a lot of people who don't, while at the same time the spiritual ideas, actually understood, are the deepest? (I think I'm overestimating the degree of difference between dumbness and shallowness between these two groups here. Also I am from the Netherlands where most people aren't really open-minded to esoteric spirituality. Could be worse tho.) When she asked me about spirituality and why it is true or important (don't remember) I couldn't answer. I don't have a ready-made answer for such a question and at that time nothing came to mind because, for a while now, I kinda want to move past seeing spirituality as a lifestyle choice comparing me to others or as an intellectual position to be defended philosophically. So I felt a bit trapped there. It's true tho, these spiritual ideas and out-there philosophical ideas take uncontrolled reign over my mind a lot of the time. Simply because they feel impressive and somehow more true; the problem is that, in the midst I lose sight of my core sense of truth. This causes me to be scattered, frustrated, idealistic, ungrounded, and above all, unable to actually contemplate. However the results of these contemplations (higher levels of consciousness) demand such a strong level of authenticity making me feel very lost. Operating and contemplating from this grounded core just leaves me speechless when it comes to spirituality. How to communicate that spirituality is important to me and that dismissing it implies dismissing me (to a certain degree) without being and coming across as closed-minded? I guess I'm asking for relationship advice, intellectual clarification, insights into culture and all-round feedback on my authenticity and how I view spirituality. Anything you might want to add Excuse my ramblings and thanks for reading