Dua

I am doing meditation twice daily now and I know as I will practice more I will get better. And I'll be able to direct my attention to my legs. Currently, I am working on keeping my concentration on breathing, hearing, and feeling. I just did meditation and something different happened. As I was getting relaxed deeply, I felt like my back is moving in a funny way like an elastic, in S shape.. I felt like my posture has changed to some funny pose.. I felt like my body is moving in the air.. but i kept my concentration on breathing, hearing, and feeling.. I did it for 10 minutes and opened my eyes. I was sitting still, not moved a bit. Yes, I read about cleaning the pineal gland and fluoride free food/substance. I am going to avoid fluoride from now. Again, Thank you

@Nahm Thank you so much for your encouraging words. I think I've found my answer and now I have to work on it. Let me share an amazing experience with you. I sat for meditation an hour ago and as I was concentrating on my breathing and hearing, RLS started in my right leg. The rhythm usually is - it starts.. gets bad.. gets worst.. and I just stand up or stretch my legs. The same thing happened this time too.. But what I did was I shifted my thoughts from rls and focused on my breathing.. Now, the rhythms was.. it stated - i shifted my thoughts - it paused - it again started - i again shifted my thoughts - it paused - and so on.. I did that for a good 5 minutes and stopped. I don't want to get exhausted so I am going slow in the start. This rls thing never stops, never ever. I've had a hard time dealing with it.. I am hopeful I'll get rid of it. Thank You

@Nahm First of all I have no words to say thanks to you. Thank you for giving me so much of your time. Everything that you said above makes complete sense and I've read a few times to understand (my confused mind, blurry screen(i believe because of my constant thinking and wandering eyes on the screen aimlessly). I really appreciate and I believe its a sign i got to know about your post and I wrote here. I know meditation is not a way to accomplish something. I've read a lot about its positive and calming effects on mind and that it helps you concentrate better. I am sleeping in the morning these days as we are fasting this whole month so I stay up all night and then sleep in the morning. So before going to bed I tried meditation as you suggested and same thing happened, RLS in my right leg and it was so intense that I couldn’t continue. Then I woke up at 12pm and I did meditation right after waking up and did it for 15 minutes and there was no RLS at all. I felt good. I tried to concentration on breathing and hearing but I couldn’t get a gist on the feeling thing. Whenever I tried meditation before, all my concentration was on my breath and not on the thoughts, today I felt the pressure, there are a lot of thoughts coming and going even if I pay attention to my breathing only. I am sorry but after all your explanation I fail to understand the “feeling” part. I still need to read the answer again to understand it better. But my question is if I am concentrating on my breathing and hearing, how can I concentrate on my feeling? What actually is my feeling? For example I had a small pedestal fan in front of me when I was meditating in the morning and it was throwing fresh and cool morning air from outside, and I was feeling good, fresh, and a bit cold. So I was feeling the air and whatever it was making me feel. So, this is what I am supposed to feel? Or the “feeling” part is totally internal? If this is internal then there are thoughts continuously coming in like flies and I was letting go of them and I did really well. Please help me understand the feeling part. The situation I am currently in, I have to depend on my family for food and other needs. I love to eat raw and fresh but I can’t as I don’t have any money to spend on my own. But once things will start to get better as I am constantly trying, I will acquire a very healthy lifestyle I know. I love yoga and physical exercise but I am not consistent with it. One day I will do it with full enthusiasm and the next few days I’ll be like, I can’t do that, I can’t move my body that much, etc. Sometimes I feel a craving for yoga and stretches. I want to stretch my body to its full and do complicated yoga steps and I try too. 2 months ago, I watched a few videos of an Indian guru, according to him, he sleeps for 3 to 4 hours and it is doable by sitting right and eating healthy raw food. By sitting right, he means in the right posture to minimize tension in the body and keeping the body at ease. I started sitting that way, and it dramatically affected me. I felt less stress, less tired while sitting, and I felt good. I started sleeping less than I usually do and I was waking up fresh. That was the time when I was doing yoga daily for some time, but I don’t know what happened, my back started to ache very bad. May be it was a wrong yoga move or what. I started sleeping more sometimes 12 hours, I felt less energetic. Those initial few days were good when I was doing yoga and could sit with my back straight, but after that backache problem I couldn’t even sit for long. Now, my back is normal again. I am able to sit and keep it straight but I feel it hard to stand up and do exercise or yoga. These might be useless details but I thought I should share. I love aerobics too but right now I feel hard to stand up and move. Because of fasting I am losing extra fat from my body, which was barely there. I started getting little abs things and I quite like it but I am not able to continue despite loving all this a lot. I know it sounds like a lame excuse, laziness, maybe. But in reality, my mind is always occupied. I’ve always felt a dense cloud inside my head which feels like a volcano that is about to explode. This is the reason I can’t read something and words seem dancing, I know I don’t have any such condition, I know I was not like this. Even now it’s 6:50pm and I am not feeling that rush inside my head and I can read clearly. Words are not dancing and I understand what I am reading. Though I still need to read again to understand everything. I don’t know why I take time to understand things, I was never like this. Maybe over thinking has made me like this. I am thinking about stopping all the “work” and work related thoughts. I want to work on my mind, myself, my betterment. Do you think it would be a good idea to give a few days to myself only? And if it is, then what should I do? Meditate only? I love to read books but the same problem of blurry vision/ dancing words.. Explained above. I am sorry if i drifted in writing. I can't get my mind to focus on a point or a thought. I know I will with meditation. I am hopeful. Once Again.. Thank you

@Nahm I read your post and I am feeling motivated to do Meditation as I think I can help me. I tried meditation before as I know it really helps but my problem is whenever I sit for meditation Restless Leg syndrom kicks in.. and I can't sit still, can't keep my sitting posture for long.. RLS becomes worst as my body gets into the state of relaxation.. It happened 90% of times.. Other times I got sleepy when I started meditation. What would you suggest? And, I posted on this forum about my problem and someone shared a link to this thread. Can you please look into my post and suggest me what should I do.. I am totally hopeless now..

Thanks @Espaim @tenta This is the problem.. The results can be amazing I know.. I have done all the base work of learning but I don't know what stops me from implementing. @Member I can understand how it feels.. May we get the enlightenment soon.

Hello, I am stuck in my life and I am not able to understand what is wrong because apparently nothing is wrong at all.. About me: I am 30 and living in a lower middle class family and we hardly make ends meet. I stopped my studies after high school and after that done nothing in my life. I've been in depression for a long time but then it got normal. I spent a lot of my time after high school in thinking thinking and thinking. There is a lot but now I am grown up enough to actually "Grow up" in my life. From last 3 years I am trying to do something for myself and my family, specially my mother and my father. I want to give them the life they never had, and don't even think of. I can write and I have written content for many websites online and they appreciated my work, but I can't work. It sounds silly but yes, I can't work, I can't write. I overthink a lot.. for every new project my thoughts are, will they like my work? what if they rejected my work? what if they will not give me any work for long term then how will i earn? etc etc etc.. Then I thought about working on my own blog/website because I know content writing, SEO and stuff. I know exactly what and how to do, but I am stuck.. Again like a loser.. I spend my time in front of computer screen and I know where to start I know what to do, I start doing that too.. but then again.. I stop doing it and I find myself wasting my time again.. and I can't help it.. I know the answer is to just do it... just start it.. etc etc .. but how? Please motivate me.. help me.. I feel that I am weak physically and emotionally too. I need complete isolation but I can't Things just keep bothering me, hot weather bothers me. Am I depressed again? I make to-do lists, time tables, but I never ever follow them. I badly want to follow them but I can't.