SteveRogers

Something energizing and wholesome 🙏🏼

TURQUISE!! what do yall think?? this guy is great??

Quick LSD Trip Report: So some time ago, maybe 2 or 3 months; i took some time alone to try tripping 'with intention' for the first time. (past couple times in my life were purely recreational. i dont know what the exact dosage was, just that i ate 3 sugar cubes, about the size of jax marbles. here's what happened: began with 10 mins of meditation after eating, then sat in my room staying present. after i forget how long, as i came closer to peak, i was experiencing uncomfortable and intense physical sensations internally. i suspect i had became hyper aware of the feeling of my bodily functioning that im not normally concious enough to notice. as far as visuals, i could see the textures of objects seeming to be moving whenever i focused on them. around peak, i knelt in front of my door mirror and starred at myself, asking myself who or what am i in my head, while trying to feel a genuine sense of curiosity. as i soon after sat in a chair still looking at my reflection, i started to get the giggles. didnt know why. a few minutes later i was walking back to my room from my bathroom after taking a piss in such a happy mood and i noticed myself wabbling as i walked as if i was drunk & i was still giggling. without thinking about it at all really, i closed the door of my stairwell behind me on the way up so my roomates wouldnt hear the sounds i was making. (this door is usually left open 24/7) right then after closing it i losse-leggedly dropped and was sitting on the steps with the thought of what i had just done & i burst into laughter. it was instantaniously obvious to me that that action had stemmed from a concern in me of what my roomates would think if they had heard me and it was HILARIOUS my going out of my way, even just simply closing that door i mean. it was suddenly absurd to me that i had done that. i was laughing histarically at myself. i went back to my room after that and the hysterical laughter continued. Loud, continuous laughter, that had me rolling around on the floor. my life was a joke. every 'serious' thought that came into my head sent me bursting into tears laughing harder and more genuinely than ive ever laughed in my entire life. i reflected on my precaution about my roomates possible opinion. i thought about all the worries in my life. i pictured my own death even. (over and over). all instantly sent me into hysterical laughter as soon as each thought entered my mind. if i even caught myself making a serious or confused face in my reflection, it made me start to laugh again. i was hoping to experience an ego death or a feeling of oneness for the first time, but nothing like that happened. my ego (i), was still there the whole time. maybe even blown up id say. i had an odd sense of fearlessness. i felt invinsible, in the sense that it didnt matter to me if i walked outside to jump in front of a car to die. i laughed at the thought of it. as i did, id have a conditioned knee jerk reaction to the suicidal thought, see my cringed face in the mirror, and it would be the the funniest thing in the world. i felt like i might have been going insane like the joker. the experience was reminding me of the analogy alan watts uses when he talks about my ego being like the actor in the play. i felt like the actor who finally took off the mask. or to be wayyy more accurate, the actor who hadnt taken off his mask, BUT REMEMBERED HE WAS WEARING ONE!! the closest i can explain the experience, was that i had an overarching intuitive sense that was so odd... a sense that the person i was didnt matter. my life was a joke and my career of survival since the day i was born was hilariously absurd. i didnt know what i really was though.. i believe my error in experiencing true profoundity here was being too much in my mind and in thoughts the simply staying present and experiencing/being. i havnt tripped many times in my life so im not surprused i was distracted by thoughts during such an intense experience. it was an amazing experience but everything is back to normal now and the game of life seems dead serious again. i would love for any of you to chime in here and tell ne what you think. maybe help me make sense of that? any tips? have a good day all:)

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/20831-lsd-trip-report-the-joker/

try this one! w/out a doubt reminds me of priorities every time You think you know, you think you got it You still don't have the answer to it all Everyone knows and nobody believes it When will you have your wake up call? Tear down the walls, this is reality Can't stop the fall; you're without clarity Change everything, it's the only way to regain your sanity I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear you say There's no other way, there's just no other way Stop pretend, just be yourself It's time for you to wake up now (Let it end) Stop living your lie Within the void there is no salvation Forget to forgive is the only solution Tear down the walls, this is reality Can't stop the fall, you're without clarity Change everything, it's the only way to regain your sanity I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear you say There's no other way, there's just no other way Stop pretend, just be yourself It's time for you to wake up now (Let it end) Stop living your lie I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear you say There's no other way, there's just no other way Stop pretend, just be yourself It's time for you to wake up now (Let it end) Stop living your lie Stop living your lie I want you to know that you're in this alone Stop telling your lies and go on as we go I want you to know of the hate that still flows So fuck everything that you stand for right now All we have is right here and right now I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear you say There's no other way, there's just no other way Stop pretend, just be yourself It's time for you to wake up now (Let it end) Stop living your lie I don't wanna hear, don't wanna hear you say There's no other way, there's just no other way (No other way) Stop pretend (Stop pretend) Just be yourself (Just be yourself) It's time for you to wake up now (Let it end) Stop living your lie right now Stop living your lie

try this one! w/out a doubt reninds me of priorities every time

I have been trying for years to figure out what's wrong with my head. I am wayyy more often than not unable to concentrate, learn new things, recall facts and experiences, and generally can't use my brain quickly/spontaniously whatsoever. However I think I found out today what I have: CHRONIC 24/7 dissociation. I noticed that when I deprive myself of sleep I get more motivated to do things, more happy, and able to learn (the learning is a big one). i know for a fact( i wasnt always this way) that learning shouldn't be something you have to focus insanely hard on to retain it in memory; I shouldn't have to repeat a definition of a word 100 times in order to retain it, or read a page in a book 5 times so I can understand what I just read. I also shouldn't wake up and forget everything I learned the day before. Sleep for me is like a reset button and it feels like I'm in an infinite brain fog that I can't get out of or learn things in. I feel like I"m walking around in a fog my entire life and everything has to go through a 10 foot concrete wall to enter my head. there are few spurratic and brief moments each day where the fact that ive been spacing out in an autopilot like state comes into my awareness. It amazes me when I snap out of this fog that this is what life is supposed to be like, and I finally understand how people can invent things, go to work, etc. because the human mind is incredible when it's able to learn. I feel like a dog half the time... it's pathetic. not to mention how discouraging it is for my trying to form a meditation habit. it feels like so much of a chore to me because i have terrible focus which is pretty much essential to the practice. the predominant sypmtom of it is my daydreaming, and generally living inside my head too much. it is the biggest obsticle holding me back from growing myself b/c there is always negative talk in my mind reminding me of the monkey mind on steroids that i have, "youll have to meditate 3 times a hard as anyone elss". "just wait till u get meds" it says. So all day, every day, I am in this constant fog..... anyone have a perspective or tips on this they could offer? i always get frustrated thinking about how ill never be able to truly resonate w/the wisdom leo shares b/c ive only recently started to attempt to apply the practice after tuning in for a year and a half now, & feeling like im having to start from BELOW ground zero. below rock bottom... im already less aware then your average 'asleep' individual. i have all this awareness and mindfullbess knowledge yet im a damn neurotic robot in my life. i dont want to be a zen fox lol anyone have some first steps they could reccomend for someone w/bad dissociation like me? i cant remember my adolescent traumas infortunately.. idk if theres anything for me to dig up as far as that goes..

did u watch the whole thing? he said he was observing And surely as seemingly concious as it is, it certainly wouldnt be concerned w/its own existance any more than it would w/yours or mine. It clearly was aware of the oness of all things it even stated we are all one life. bcause evidence was destroyed. Its time machine would likely be something having to do w/einsteins theory of relativity wich has to do w/time speeding up or slowing down depending on the speed one moves relative to something else and that gravity can bend time. the alien said he traveled many lightyears also the alien was the one being interrogated.. Spare me the skeptisism guys, its obviously a fake, well made scene imo. I just always get excited when i spot inklings of truth about reality & conciousness in the mass media i think i might be the only one

tasteless.. i just though it was cool that whoever made it is had some truth in the dialogue. of course its fake lol i got a kick out of it, not scared :\

So i found this video on facebook a week ago. In it, scientists interview an alien who claims to be a human evolutionary descendant and i think you guys will like this. what he has to say hits wayyy close to home on this forum? Tell me what u guys think~ https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=G2xXu8_2Exo

Hello forum goers, im mike, im 20 and am just recently discovering much of the topics and material with actualized.org. i was wondering if any of you out there could share w/me a story of some benifit impact or breakthrough that you experienced as a result of starting a meditation practice. I've been watching quite a few hours of leo's actualized.org content in my spare time for the past few months but havnt really been practicing any of it, just knowing.. ive been a little while decided now on getting on board w/enlightenment and self actualize , its just been a matter of where im at in my life since i discovered all this thats been preventing me from real focused work. Recently moved out of my parents house for the first time and am not driving yet but working on it so stability and money are not quite where i need them atm. anyway, i still wanted to integrate some practices to work on my awareness & mindfullness and figured i could work in a daily meditation. problem is im having trouble motivating myself to take all the time out to do it because im unable to imagine what the long term benefits will be for me. i just need something that i can maybe feel? or just a better grasp of what ill be working towards because the lack of a sense of end result or reward for it is really killing my motivation to do it :\