DizIzMikey

I don't exist! Every thought is just that.. a thought!!! I CANT FIND MYSELF IN MY HEAD...ANNYYYWHHEERREE!!! MICHAEL DOESNT EXIST! hahahahahhaaha I might be the silence but i'm not sure... FYI! But empirically I'm convinced I don't exist as an identity ..Michael... EXIST DO I? THINK SO.. just dunnno how yet.. silence probably is what am I <3333333

@Psychonaut Dream Life Coaching sounds very beautiful

@Philip A good part of my life I've been trying to control my thoughts because "I" didn't want to think about filthy things.. but.. I'm not my thoughts .. a thought is a thought and I'm not any of my thoughts.. "I" am that nothingness .. but "I" still get paranoid off filthy thoughts.. like ... uhh.. having an attraction towards my mother in laws personality... shhhh.. lmao And I get paranoid like my wife knows wtf I'm doing... I'm not out of the woods yet.. I like fucking.. got one foot in the door and the other back in the "I" state ... I'm going to attempt to let my thoughts flow and see wtf happens.

@MartineF Thank you.. maybe I'll let the thoughts express themselves ... but than I realize I'm not the thoughts than I go blank but I'm feeling a lot of resistance not thinking? it feels fucking weird.. maybe do nothing would work I just realized I'm really fucking disoriented =(

@WelcometoReality Like... you not thinking and enjoying what your doing? I'm kinda scared to lose video games =( I love them so much I hope I don't lose them after I'm truly enlightened I honestly enjoy this singular experience, but I'm getting the feeling that I'm kinda stuck in limbo.. or... like having sex and .. I can't nut... it's fucking weird .. I find myself zoning in like I exist..and zoning out reminding myself I don't exist as Michael.. I kinda hate it

@WelcometoReality Nothing ... uhhhh.. is the sun the earths soul? lmao I'm guessing I'm that.. silence that nothingness that cannot be explained, but dunno.. need to meditate on the silence a bit more I suppose

<3

@appleaurorae I think... a truly enlightened being wouldn't give a fuck about your weight or not... because.. well.. I've heard your source energy.. UHH!!!! But.. I think it's important to exercise though ... I'm so unhealthy atm lol

@Huz88 I think you're trying to feel a hole, do you feel an emptiness? ... you ain't alone.. I'm here I'm always here if you wanna talk... I'm sorry you are going through this. I wish I could help more, but I will try! I can relate because I use to try to get to get healthy and eat junk food.. than I would feel guilty eating junk food because I felt like I failed myself. but you know what... you ever hear this saying from Aaliyah? Please get this song or write it down IF AT FIRST YOU DONT SUCCEED PICK YOURSELF UP AND TRY AGAIN! .. somethin like that It... its what got me through hard times..... Make sure it is somewhere you can see it ..like where you leave your house or something.. so you see it everyday Try and try again if that's what you wanna really do But whatever you do..DONT FEEL GUILTY.. YOU ARE A HUMAN..WE MAKE MISTAKES.. It is natural.. or if you need too feel guilty.. whatever man just as long as you don't feel resistance from within you're all good For me my addictions stopped because it was life threatning.. eating junk food I couldn't do shit so... Don't let it get to that point and if you need too seek professional help best advice I can give is never stop improving your psychology

@carlo Tell her, you need to cut it off with him if you wanna be with him....tell her... plenty of fish in the sea The moment she says she's not willing.. don't convince her... just let her go. That'll shock her and she might wanna ride your dick... because that exerts confidence Than...after you keep her and she agrees.. solve your problem of jealousy..investigate this shit... Because it'll end up coming back to bite you in the ass if you don't take care of it..I SHOULD KNOW You don't find out why you're jealous.. IT WILL HAUNT YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!! STAY WITH ACTUALIZED.ORG AND MASTER YOUR PSYCHOLOGY.. Leo is a genius. Better yourself man and it'll be alright <3 But whatever you do... don't stay with her if she doesn't respect your boundaries ..the ones you have at this very moment man .. please don't do that to yourself Love and Peacce

If I come with any good ones I'll let you know my mind is really foggy as shit... but what I can suggest is researching how the American people get hooked to shit and research that =)... than follow those guidelines

So I labeled everything in my mind as a belief for awhile, than after awhile I felt the back of my head tensing up, couldnt latch onto any words or thoughts, than umm this word I comes out, i i i o, but labeled that as a belief as well, and than I literally felt like I was going to die! The back of my head starts tensing the fuck up.. the reptilian part Im thinking, and I felt like I was gonna fucking die if i kept labelling everything as a belief no joke... am I doing something wrong here? Do I have to die to reach enlightenment and if so, why not just jump off a building to obtain it? I dont wanna lose my daughter... Is there not a way to soothe myself into enlightenment through just do nothing meditation or should I just constantly say belief in my head frustrate my ego and mind than die? I mean.. wtf is going on here? I have red spots all over my fucking face after this sense of dying occured i felt like my head was gonna pop...

When I believe all is one I seem to treat everyone better and what I feel from others is actually what I feel, reflections of me, im a better person, Wondering if this is a mistake While im not meditating ill pretend I know, and when I do walking meditation and mindful meditation I will wipe all my "knowing" away? Also when I talk to others I talk to myself and it feels right..... lol Suggestions please

@Falk I meditate sporidically unfortunately very often, but lately 30 mins a day, might miss two days of the week.

@Falk they did dissolve, and i was left with nothing in my mind but the word belief and i still feel like death was approaching but without feeling fear.

@Ayla It's scary as shit though, I'm scared of losing my daughter, but I might try it, might do normal meditation for awhile, im so scared of losing her tbh which is influenced me to do do nothing meditation Thank you Ayla for your commment, don't feel so alone now

I don't know if I know anything I THINK MY EGO IS DYING FOR ATTENTION..ITS DROWNING I THINK..HELP MEEEE! lol Everything I've been taught has been taught by others so what do I know? What if I know nothing, than how do others seem like they know something? I don't know... I'll pretend for a little bit ----------------------------------------------- This state is causing me extreme pain, I have all these emotions that I feel like want to come out, which they do when I mirror meditate But most of the day I'm like.. I'm angry..than my brain goes oh wait, I don't know if I'm really angry, just because my mind says its angry am I angry? I don't know... So the anger whisks away, but I still think it is there....but...very quiet..but I don't know if I'm truly angry so ...well... nothing really comes out I am confused...I have gone so deep into the rabbit hole that I try to go back to the life I once had, and I'm so deep in that when I'm done playing Skyrim it comes back to haunt me, I'm conscious and I'm in agony.. IM SO HOLLOW it isn't even funny Someone once said on these forums that if you do not have a guide to enlightenment you eventually get to feeling ok being the bad guy I think I'm getting to that point, I'm starting to not give a fuck what anyone thinks about what I do...I feel proud about it, I like that I lightly give a fuck what anyone thinks, but perhaps they are not pressing the right buttons. I'm smiling right now...I feel like I'm better than anyone else... I feel intellectually superior when the fact of the matter probably is...I'm not or wasn't or am not the sharpest tool in the shed, how I said it is probably a ego defense. POINT BEING SOMETHING IS SCREAMING OUT TO EXPRESS ITSELF...I THINK IM GOING TO GET MY ASS IN A STUDIO AND MAKE A TRACK BUT..I CANT TRUST MY OWN WORD...NO WONDER IM IN SUCH TORMENT I CANT EVEN TRUST MYSELF BUT I WILL ONLY LISTEN TO MYSELF..quite the paradox? I....DONT...KNOW..rather no I maybe DONT KNOW sounds more accurate Do I exist? DONT KNOW Holy hell I'm going to die one day and I don't know if hell exists...

I do, do nothing meditation as much as I can throughout the whole day Let the mind do what it wants and I'm facing all my fears From the phobia of typing to someone on steam and being rejected To the thought that I have the power to bring death to others with my thoughts I'm facing the Karma principle, and I feel... all these things are fear tactics to keep me in control To my mind attacking my own daughter, and than letting in the pain and resistance of not wanting to hurt her I let it all flow through me.. like ...Bruce lee said.. Be like water my friend! I THINK I GET IT NOW THANK YOU BRUCE <3 Whatever comes about I let it be I even let the fear in like a helpless child, and it comes in, than goes away, than I feel this release of tensions from within I think one way to reach inner peace now is to let the mind say what it wants about anyone or anything I will continue to do this and report my results

@Arik Thank you

@Emerald Wilkins Yeah that was a pretty supreme response

If you can cum within a minute, and you train yourself to do so, is it still considered a waste of energy? I would think one would feel more re-energized after a session if one is feeling stressed I don't know about this I might try to do the minute man thing, heh Having a wife and being faithful is a hard job, and this is how I handle it

@99th_monkey lolol so true ruined my relationship because I'm going a bit berserk but I think I'm finally coming out of it, I'm letting the monkey chatter do whatever the fuck it wants almost at all times and it feels so FREE!

Anyone have resources or lead me in the direction of making a one man game, or how to be an supreme rapper. Besides looking at the greats, higher powers that are benevolent/good are an option for me. Thanks

Thank you for the advice

@charlie2dogs Actually I agree with you, thank you.