kyle barnett

I am struggling to find girls, I want girls !! haha I am sick of been surrounded by guys all the time. Facebook everybody just ignores you, or never even gives you a chance. Online dating is appalling just leave it at that. So where do i go? I am 18 years old, unemployed, no license

If you are getting rejected, it's most likely not you (That is of course if you are failing the dating principals). But it isn't that bad. Girls aren't actually that overly fussy. It's just the times you approach them.. For example facebook messaging will almost always inevitably get you rejections not matter who you are simply because girls do not like to meet guys that way. Especially if they have real life connections. Or at the gym they are busy and they just assume some dickhead (You) Is just trying to chat them up. Not that that is bad but girls aren't always in the mood for that.

I want to know why most people pursue non duality from this lifestyle compared to normal people who still learn and practise non duality without living in a buddhist temple or far away in some japanese mountains. Religous belief aside, there must be extra benefits of living the ruthless lifestyle of being in a monastery. Why do monks mediate all day and only sleep a few hours, with extreme labour, and lack of communication. Not to mention full isolation from the world. I want leos thoughts on this. Is this a more efficient but harder approach, or is it just a different way?

You too my friend, thank you

Where did you meet them?

It is up to you really, we can't tell you whether or not to keep the relationship, you have to decide what you want in life, and if she supports you that's great, but if not then, you'l have to lose ties with her

How did you meet girls?

Not if there isn't any around, thats the problem, where do I go?

Dude, you can't forget, she is a girl ! Most of the things you mentioned a totally normal girl things. She seems fine by me. You just need to realise she is an emotional creature. That means when she has episodes she wants a guy to listen to her and love her, not give advice. Idk if you already knew that or not. Dont show her actualized.org videos man trust me. AH leo talks alot about this p.s if you want to help her. Be the guy she wants to comfort her. Do not tell her how to live, let her be herself, and just hug her whenever shes angry you know stuff like that. However if she isnt helping you grow or she is holding you back, you need to probably leave her. Do not let anybody get in the way

Hi guys, I have always been obsessing over whether or not to quit certain activities, replacing them, and how to become independant of useless idle activities that don't serve us. After contemplation I have ended up dropping daily habit cycles I get into such as video games, memes, newsfeed, porn, pointless messeging etc. And have implemented coming out into nature, doing nothing, reading, swapped anime out for studying history and odcumentaries aswell as more self help content. But my energy gets drained. I am like everyone else in society, where everybody needs some sort of plugin to re-energize. It feels amazing don't get me wrong, BUt I was wondering for people who are self help junkies and have their shit sorted, what are your daily activities like? Do you need plugins from time to time, is there a way to fully wene off them?

Yeah, I have been alot and it is working, I spent 6 days roughly without any of these distractions, just questioning the point in them. Yesterday I felt like my mind was withdrawing, perhaps that will pass

Hey leo, how is your daily habit life now? Do you have any uselss distractions? Anyway of plugging in at all? Or are you able to enjoy just sitting? How do you recharge your batteries after a long day?

Depends on your life. If I mediate for an hour or a half 6 hours if fine for me. Aslong as it is good sleep and you go to bed on a schedule. If you want less sleep there are cerain sleeps methods you can use such as on koi frescos why do we need sleep video. He tells you some cool sleep patterns to lessen your sleep if you wish

You may need to check up on your sleep. Are you dreaming and forgetting or not dreaming at all?

yeah It is the same for me. I just find it fucking bullshit there is barely anywhere to go to meet woman. Literally every place I go to is just guys guys guys

This is pretty unfortunate. It sounds like your parents lives are a living hell and your just getting sucked into it cause your her mother. I feel deeply sorry about the breast cancer and the trouble you's all had to go through from it, but I feel now you should just let her go and move on. Or at least set that as a vision. Seeming you want to be away from toxic people. Same here. It may seem selfish I know but she has no right to restrict you from living your own life. If you want to leave and live without her, do not feel ashamed about it at all. Also it seems like your mum is half decent time to time so you end up forgiving her and it goes into this spiral. Just leave her. You don't have to say fuck you and never speak to her again. But cut her out to the point where you don't get sucked in to her shit. Honestly bro, I have friends like this and it is terrible. You are missing out on so much happiness in life, life is amazing and these people prevent you from seeing this? Is that harsh. Yeah. But it doesn't sound like they are improving. Even if they are I feel there lives are so stuck don already it'l be a lot of effort to work up so I feel moving on is the best. Long story short, you never have to give away your happiness to anybody ! Even if it seems selfish.

I reached day 44. Tip if you like. Persist. You are trying to get to the 90 days to quickly. For example someone tryingt o reach 90 after spending a week fapping daily is going to be alot harder than someone who has fapped at 30 to 40 day intervals. It takes ages to fully wene off, but try not to fall into cycles when you relapse

Thank you

HI, I thought I would like to share a condition I have with you guys, see what you guys think, and how you guys would deal or respond to a situation like this or similar in your life. For a few years now gradually starting and growing overtime, my lower body from lower stomach to lower legs would go through episodes of numbness,lasted for 30 seconds to a minute then the numbness mysteriously disappears and my back becomes fine until it occurs again.It started around 2014.I had no idea what it was and never really bothered with it as it didn't affect the movement in my legs until around 2015 to 2016. It gradually grew worse. It started to occur only ever in my sleep once or twice. But as time went on, it began happening during the day. I will not explain the whole details but I will explain when it became a problem, a very very big problem, during this year. At the start of the year, I had appointments with doctors and physio's because me and my family believed I had a pinched nerve or herniated disc. Or anything physically wrong inside my back {As this was where it radiated from}. Doctors and physio's were confused by it. And I was referred to many different people and appointments. Which all had absolutely no clue what was going on or what it could be. Sometimes I would fall to the ground onto the floor from it. Now here is where it became a massive problem. You see,it got to a point where the numbness episode would occur longer around 1 and a half minutes and cause full paralysis in my lower bodies without anything triggering it. This would occur 4 to 9 times a day every single day. Everyday I would paralyse and collapse on the floor. I've had a large amount of injuries such smashing my head through a glass door, falling on concrete, almost drowning at public pools and breaking family items. It was hell. Nobody knew what it was yet it was far more severe of a problem than seizures. It has ruined many areas of my life such as me having no work experience and unable to work, leave the house often, drive, swim, walk alone, stand near objects, or get good sleep. I couldnt even approach woman, as I have tried and collapsed right infront of them with them immediatly freaking out. I have never been able to have any relationship experience. Iv'e never dated a girl properly or come close to intimacy and was very desperate. So as you could see, I was very emotionally distraught. I had and still have (Only a little bit now) of emotional scars from this. I have been to the hospital for 6 days, had an mri on back and brain, blood test, diagnoses for other treatments and been visited by specialists and nobody could even give me an explanation. The only explanation I had was somatoform disorder where ones anxiety disorder or nuerosis causes the body to manifest an illusory physical condition. I did have anxiety and depression from this issue. But after working very hard on myself and transcending all my emotional problems which I have now. It did not affect my back. I noticed also my anxiety moments and my episodes did not correlate at all with eachother and did not trigger them. So I believe this is ruled out. However there is a chance it played a role in making it worse, yet the problem is still here but now my issues are all resolved immensely. Now I have been on medication rhitilan and it may of contributed to the problem, but even after weening myself off the medication. it did not solve the problem. I cannot go into all the details of diagnoses that have all been ruled out. But to get to the point of the story. I wanted to just share this with you guys and see what you think, how you would of coped when nobody could give you answers on what you could do or not do. And feel completely helpless. Or if anybody has had a serious issue they would like to share and how they cope or coped with it. What would you guys do or feel in my position? and what do you think? I am currently still suffering from this problem, but it somehow has been reduced with the episodes, and I have started a new with my life, finding work, learning to drive (Hopefully its all better once I am on the road). Also, I may sound like a victim, but in 2016 I have grown a long way with controlling my emotions and my whole perception of life. I was still able to be happy and grounded (Despite a few meltdowns, and depressing and overly anxious moments here and there). Thanks for anyone reading this and I hope my story may assist someone in anyway or associate with this problem somehow.

Hey just ask yourself. Are you good enough for him yourself?I feel you may be a bit worried she is better than you. Realize you are just as good for him as she is to him. Ugh, whether he wants her or you is a different story. I personally feel you need to put everything out on the table. Tell him exactly how you feel. The problem here is the fact that you are worried he'l leave you. That is attachment. You need to be independent of him and completely fine on your own. That may even be what that other girl has for him that you lack. I know it's hard, but it isn't an excuse if you look deeper. If he ends up leaving you for that girl, take the scars, take it as a learning experience and see what you can do to better yourself. I understand that break ups and having someone you like leave you for someone is else is extremely painful, but that pain isn't going to bring you down if you surrender to it. Don't be afraid of that outcome. Do not hesitate to leave him or even cut him out of your life. You can be his friend if he gets with that chick but it may not be good for you, if you still lust for him. Look, if you can just love and accept yourself more, and learn to embrace being single, things will be amazing. You will be so proud of yourself and will totally be okay without him. Im sure you got tonnes of reasons to love yourself, the fact that you are on this path to self actualization is already an amazing feature about you, not many people are willing to even grow at all. As you get further down this path, you become more fulfilled on your own without attachments to guys. the thing is our ego feels more content with someone, but when you embrace the negative emotions of lonliness etc. it just expands your ego and your desperation fades. I hope I could help, this is just my advice, I am no expert

Hey dude I have the exact same issue as you except i never even got a girlfriend in the first place haha. First off, dont try to force yourself to get over girls. You absolutely can have the same happiness without girls. It's just that your ego prefers the flirtatious sexual type of intimacy over most things like I currently do. Who cares. Embrace it. Some guys just generally LOVE woman and sexuality. Don't worry about neediness. The mistake is that guys think girls hate guys who strongly desire them. That is not true at all. They love it, because it makes them feel alive. The difference is when you attach to girls and try to hold on to them. They hate that because guys like that are nuerotic, if the girl turns them down, they get depressed and it makes the girls feel like they are expected to make the guy feel better because he is unhappy on his own. I don't think you are like that so you should be fine. You need to be fully open and expressive with yourself. And... fully accept yourself. Single or not. That means when a girl says no, you let her. if you are generally happy by yourself, you'l be fine. Most guys do not embrace their sexuality. They are too afraid to be themselves. So the woman has no value for them, yet they need them to feel better. You get where I am coming from?

Also that's good bro. I hope all the best for you

Dude, just let it go. Whether your single or not, it does not matter. First step to being happy is to change your perception of reality. Start having love for reality and the world, it's not hard at all. You can be fulfilled right now just by smiling and breathing. The trick is you don't want to. Your ego isn't comfortable with, it wants that girlfriend, I know. Do not take life so seriously. I want you to ask yourself, do you really need to worry about it? If you do, your ego has an attachment. YOur deeper spiritual self does not care whether your single or not. Listen to the quite stillness, that is always heard despite noise. You are always that complete stillness no matter what strife you go through my bro. Life is life, let life just happen. Stop worrying about girls. But at the same time, it is totally okay to desire woman and sex. Allow it. The resistance is why it is a problem. Next time you feel strong desire for woman, or a girl, be happy. Life is not about getting every single thing you desire. Tip. You don't have to get over it. You just have to realise, it is okay. Im saying for my old self who was willing to kill himself because he thought not being able to have a relationship with a woman, is lack of living. Be in the moment. I know it becomes cliche but just ask yourself, why do I need something else to satisfy me when I am already breathing? Maybe even just go out and start spreading love to people, give for people, and don't worry about yourself. Good way to realise you don't NEEd something for satisfaction. I can explain all this for hours for you if you want, but only you can love yourself man.

Show us a picture of your face bro. Put it as your profile pic. And I'l help you out. Just because you had an accident, does not mean you will never get with a woman are you fucking nuts? It doesn't matter man. You have to accept your fate and start walking like a king. Stop trying to be good enough for woman it is honestly fucking stupid saying from my experience. Let me tell you something about looks. No matter how hard you try to look good, you will inevitably fail at being attractive to woman unless you start being a man, and you are not afraid to show the floors of yourself. A lot of guys actually do like good, but unfortunately they are not confident and emotionally mature so they way people perceive them changes. Why do trends occur? It's not that the new look actually looks good, it may look shit, but some celebrity made it work just because of his identity. A girl would love a strong man who is able to accept himself with love, and spread it, despite what has happened to him. That my friend would make her love you ! Before you say "Oh girls are shallow and only care about looks" start noticing the guys who are able to be fully expressive and authentic and the guys who pussy foot and try to act. You will find the authentic guys get what they want. Even if they are pussies ! The fact they don't hide anything already is enough. Look man. another thing is even if I tell you this. It is going to go straight over your head. How do I know? Cause I been there. Go out and talk to girls, and try to have fun with them and connect with them. Stop worrying if they like you or not. Forget that. Stop clinging to wanting a girlfriend for fulfillment. Be fulfilled. It's not hard. You just don't want to do it cause your attached to your identity. Just surrender completely and accept with love who you are. The fact you are on actualized.org shows you know your stuff bro. Society is stupid. They run on emotional stimulation. Not logic. Physical appearance is believed to be logical, when infact is completely emotional. Much love bro, accept yourself fully, don't just accept what is good about you

Play video games if you want. the only reason you play them is because you got nothing better to do. Go and do cool shit and you wont want to play them. Stop kidding yourself. It's that simple. But go to bed early. You can do it. Its not that difficult once you really want to set up better habits. Get away from xbox live friends too that distract you.