WonderSeeker

What is one thing you personally disagree with most of the forum on? ----- Note: This thread is not for being a dick or arguing with others. It's just an opportunity for you to make a journal entry about what's important to you even though it may not be the majority's taste on the Actualized forum. Breaking free from conformity means even doing things that may seem "conformist" for nonconformist reasons in a nonconformist style. Answers will vary, and I'm curious what y'all put.

My answer: I get the sense that most people on this forum are disinterested in having children (if not, completely against it). Personally, I want to have kids at some point, and consider it a deeply important part of personal development. It can help you integrate so many character traits and relative truths that you're hard-pressed to find otherwise. For example, by having kids you will learn how to caretake a vulnerable, complicated, unique being who you have a deep, direct, blood connection to. To do so, you have to become pain-stakingly clear on your values. It forces you to mature and develop high degrees of empathy and integrity. It gets you to take possibly the highest degree of personal responsibility you can as a human. It also forces you to be really pragmatic financially and materially (a good way to smooth you out if you're an idealist like me). All of this, of course assuming you want to raise a rockstar kid who becomes purposeful and interested in consciousness. (Now that's a project)! Part of the reason I posted this is in response to people who reference the below video. Thumbnail: Should you have kids? What if I told you that it doesn't matter because reproduction is a fictional narrative you invented as part of your robotic drive for survival? Not that I don't grok the metaphysical points made in the video, but I get the sense it argues in favor of not having kids without considering the upsides. This is a massive lifestyle decision that varies person to person, so I'm not trying to come off as a creepy, finger-wagging, white Christian Karen who says "you gotta pump as many as you can cuz the birthrates are going down," but moreso sharing a personal preference that's important to me. I may not even necessarily have kids in the end, but in principle I think it can be an extraordinarily good thing for people who want to integrate all kinds of different skills and experiences in this life. I think doing this Actualized work and then becoming a parent would be an interesting way to go about life. Parenting and finding creative ways to continue the work while you are raising new life. What I find so interesting about it is how do you balancing the two halves. Cheers.

@LordFall If that's what makes you feel like a million bucks, go get 'em. I used to fee insecure about my dating/sex habits, but now I'll happily admit that I date only 2-3 girls per year and sleep with 1 of them (unless I have a girlfriend). Sex has never really been high priority for me and even when it was a little higher on the list, it distracted from all the other cool things I love about life. Maybe you and your bros are just wired to want a buncha hot girls, and that's fine. And yet, the hot ones are often the worst to be around. I never approached them in bars, not because I was scared of their hotness (laughable), but because I was "scared" of their craziness. I once f*cked a SUPER "hot" girl, which made me feel like I shot up heroin after (it felt AMAZING). But she turned out to be a total psychopath with the worst personality ever, and I had to ditch her like a high speed chase. If she's a 10 in looks but a 2 in personality, 10+2=12 (lame). Is she's only a 7 in looks but a 9 in personality, 7+9=16 (better). I've had both and I would take the one with a surplus in personality every time. Then again, I'm demisexual, as others on this forum have pointed out. "Demisexuality is used to describe individuals who feel sexually attracted to someone only after developing a close or strong emotional bond with them." (Wikipedia) All of that said, it looks like you've got a killer network and I hope you crush your goals. I think you're a little bit of an outlier on this forum in terms of game skills, sex drive, and motivation (for better, worse, or both). Only thing I'd ask is why do you care who is picking up whom and what people on the forums think? They probably aren't as dedicated to this stuff as you. You're clearly more wired for it or have convinced yourself you're invested in this lifestyle and ought to max it. Which again, nothing wrong with that, but for most people it's a stepping stone that becomes tertiary before long. Cheers~

Love the way this guy explains it. It's taken me years of trying to fix my debt to stop making the same foolish mistakes and start prioritizing it like my life depends on it. I have 65k (50k alone in student loans) and am following a plan to get it all paid off in 3 years. Lifestyle-wise it's not gonna be super fun, but it will be worth it. Nothing is worse than being at net-negative. It prevents progress in so many ways.

Appreciate that.

Ok never mind, I think you understand the concept well. The only mistake (which I also made) is timing. The alignment you're talking about takes time. Don't be afraid to be a late bloomer if that's what it takes. For example— My top values are: Truth, consciousness, education, nature (the outdoors, camping, natural history), natural living, travel, and healthy/clean diet. BUT... What ended up happening is in the past 5 years I made a long and painful career change from being a geologist (which in theory I still love) to being a school teacher in foreign countries (which in practice I love even more). Along the way I tried sales/opening a business to test that dimension of work; it failed but I leanred. Point is you'll make tons of adjustments, big and small, if you're doing things right. That's just a small snippet of my values and some of the changes I've made. Hope it helps.

Life purpose ≠ job. Job is what you do. Purpose is who you want to become. I just turned 28. Since I was 25, I've tried 8 different things. But my purpose has always stayed the same (in fact, it's grown). Purpose is a state of mind. A north star if you will. I say all this because I'm guessing you're about 20 years old. You're all good.

I agree with the first bolded part, but disagree with the second. Spending conservatively - ie, in a way that looks poor - can be a necessary step to becoming wealthy, especially if your starting place is debt. Knowledge is certainly richness. Before age 24 I'd never flown in a plane. In the 4 years since, I've flown 40 times, with 36 of the flights paid for me (to several U.S. states, and to/from Mongolia and Korea twice). Companies and universities flew me around because of my expertise, so in a way that was money I "had" or "spent" via these entities. It was largely worth it too. This is good for a long-term arc of getting out of poor/debt/middle-class money mindsets and into wealth using emotional momentum. Switching from the mindset of a broke person, to getting even (if you're under), to becoming rich, to having it all and giving charitably.

I get what you're feeling, but sometimes it takes longer than seven years. Tell me all the things you've tried and what you haven't tried yet. It's all about hitting the sweet spot between what you value versus what's in demand. I got 2 degrees in a science field only to hate the work and try 3-4 other completely different things before settling on something I like. Sometimes that's the way it is.

Figure out your values. Look at what's in demand. Marry the two and refine as you go. Easier said than done.

Have you dealt with debt before? I wanna know other people's stories I think it's a common problem that enlightened people on this forum have and don't wanna admit in front of their enlightened friends

Scott Galloway His knowledge base is massive. He talks to/from stages blue, orange, and green without exclusively cherishing their perspectives on repeat. He also makes good critiques of them by stating facts and surgically pulling out the consequences — good or bad — then applying conscious moral judgements to them. He represents a "healthy" version of capitalism. He cares about more than just his tribe, be it family, country, ideology, or humanity. Can't say what his views are in the spiritual dimension though. Otherwise, a solid, current example of SD Yellow.

Oh and if you just wind up watching the Tube on your computer, then get Cold Turkey website blocker. It blocks certain sites and makes it impossible to unlock the setting while a "work-block" is active. But that's if you really need it (it's like $40).

First, get a phone lockbox (temporary fix). Lock it away and then ask this question to yourself: What payoff do you get from watching YT? Wait for a genuine answer. Then, let go of it (root-cause fix). That gets rid of the belief---that for some reason you need to consume YouTube compulsively---at the root. Hope this helps~

Let me take your title and put a spin on it (tell me what your gut instinct advice for me would be): I'm 27 and haven't had sex. Should I lift weights? What would you tell me? "DUDE, GO MEET SOME GIRLS!!!!!!" For you, make money and get a girlfriend. Clearly you want those things. Then if you have time AFTER, meditate/do yoga. Easy.

Q: What is your goal in this podcast episode? Will it be like Curt Jaimungal, or a different flavor? As a nerdy ex-scientist I support this. Letter rip!

Did you use AI to type this? Reads a little too good lol Yeah, this isn't good. If the U.S. goes into Greenland, EU countries will pull up and it will be a bloodbath. While that's going on, what do you think Putin will do? And China? I really don't want war on U.S. soil. I know whatever happens may lead to a better outcome in the long-run; I just hate seeing innocent people terrorized because of Darth Vader in the White House and Emperor Palpatine in Israel. We really are living in a once-in-a-lifetime snapshot in history.

I'm in Korea and while it's got its problems, it beats living in the U.S. at the moment. The U.S. is a clown show right now. I am so happy to be out. Plus, I'm young and pursuing a teaching career so moving to Asia made sense for me. Those who are staying in the U.S., I ask why? Why do you assume it's the best. From personal experience I always find better relationships abroad and there are certain perks you just can't get in the U.S. Are you serious? U.S. healthcare is atrocious. Education is abysmal, and only getting worse (I am a current educator, so I know this). PFAS now in the food/water (I used to work with PFAS, it ain't good for you). Childcare and paid leave barely exist, if at all. Unions are dead. The culture overall is meh. Cost of housing shooting up. Crushing student loan debt. Side note: Americans always come off as more narcissistic on the whole than people I meet abroad. And yet, all of that is still somehow better than most of the world, assuming you escape the rat race and find a good neighborhood in a good state to live. (I haven't done that yet, so that's my personal bias). Scandinavian countries seem to have good standards from an "objective" standpoint. Only issue there is you can't build and maintain a sustainable biz for long... you'll get taxed to smithereens. But on average it seems a like a good place with awesome access to nature in places like Sweden, Finland, and Norway.

Why do you assume you're too old? What is there to grieve? At the same time, I agree dating in the west is butt-cheeks. Come to Asia for a little bit. It'll set you right

Epic share. In fact dude, you are so well-positioned I'm slightly jealous! I'm also an HSP empath. I feel everything insanely deep, and have worked all my life to live effectively in this hyper-masculine world. Had a recent inner win: realized I gotta be more patient with my development, because financial constraints have limited how high I can go at the moment. I thought I could make money bags if I crushed it at sales jobs, or found business success. Even with several months of HARD work at these things, it all made me poorer with more debt. So now I'm just combining passions (teaching + traveling). I moved from America to Korea right after getting fired from corporate. Best decision of my 20s. And now, I'm taking the slow route to financial health. All by cutting as much discretionary as possible for the next 3 years; got it all mapped out: First I'll nab the credit card debt. Then tackle the student loan beast (only in America, amirite?). Then personal development will skyrocket. But even now, getting into more Ralston and Wilber, while exploring Korea. Life's good. It's evolving. It's dynamic. And it's intelligent as fuck.

Wish I took everything less seriously. Wish I knew that the pain I felt in my teens is universal and "happy" people that appeared to "have it all" were in just as much pain as me, if not worse. Also, wish I didn't take anti-consumerism too far. I was so anti-consumerist I always asked for nothing for Christmas and demonized all business. That made me open-minded, anti-mainstream, and open to spirituality. But it came at a cost of learning how to market myself and start a biz. I thought "value isn't a real thing," therefore I have none to offer. All of that said, I'm proud of what I've done considering the hole I was in early on.

Great share. I second @mmKay: watch this to see her more raw side. 2:04:38-2:06:32 if you're low on time. I appreciate her honesty and authenticity in spite of the hate. Her New Age takes are bull-shitty. But everything else is deep, wise, and super practical. I've watched her for years alongside Actualized. Actually, she and Julien Blanc had some cool collabs in the past: I hope to attend one of her workshops someday.

Funny you mention Burly. I lived there for 2 years. Perfect example of a stage green town. I used to ride my bike past Bernie Sanders house all the time there. Actually by far my #1 city I've lived in. Phoenix is fun, but a hell-hole (except for 3 months out of the year). Boston is an absolute gem environmentally and culturally (it just has a great vibe). I imagine PNW or Denver are perfect (never been to either though). SLC is nice to visit but a lot of locals wear a platic smile and walk around like they got a tree branch up their arse. Currently I'm living in Korea, and the worst part about it is China's pollution is constantly covering the skies here. Live and learn

2 years ago Owen said he was gonna stop running free tours and move to Montana. Yet he's still touring and living in Hollywood. It's like "Dammit Owen! You were so close!"

Nice. I personally like this: And this: