NatureB

When are you going to moveo out? You can expect to feel these feelings until you do.

@Shanmugam I feel you there brother. These experiences leave a lasting effect on us until we go back and face the feelings consciously. One insight I had while working on this area was this: I was prone to being bullied because I wasn't fully valued at home. So the pattern goes back even further into childhood, before the bullying and directly into my childhood home and family dynamics. If I was valued more and attuned to, I would have had the confidence to stand up to bullies, or to tell an adult, or to find some constructive way of dealing with it. I'm not saying that to beat myself up, but to get closer to the root of the issue where it all stems from. Has anything helped you in particular? Therapy? Psychedelics? etc?

I recommend journaling on the prompt "What am I afraid of if I allow myself to feel?" Do this first thing in the morning so you don't skip it. If you'd like, I can hold you accountable. Also, get a therapist. I've found that most issues are just the tip of the iceberg. Once you get exploring, you uncover more and more stuff.

The only way out of hell is through. Keep going.

I was bullied by cousins, my brother, and different "friends" up until 20. It is still something that I am working on, and I've noticed that a lot of my social anxiety and self-worth issues stem from these experiences. Objectively it was nothing horrible such as physical abuse. For me it was more being put down verbally. The lesson for me is to have more boundaries around how I will allow myself to be treated. And the work from here on is to forgive and heal

Teal Swan has at least 2 amazing videos for Shadow Work. An exercise I do when I find someone expressing a quality that I hate, is to ask myself "when was a time that I had that same quality?" That way you let go of the anger at yourself and the other person simultaneously.

You've discovered a pattern in your life. Now find when that pattern first started and release it.

Idk what it might be for you, but if I found myself in that fortunate situation I would travel the world at least one full year. Maybe read a travel blog to get some inspiration if that sounds enticing for you.

Make it sound small in your mind. "I'm going to write 2 sentences and then do something fun." You can also figure out your limiting beliefs about success. A great process for this is to weite down the result you are getting, and then ask "what would I have to believe to get this result?" Much luck.

21 is super young. I'm just a few years older, but looking back on when I was 21, it's like being a baby. Over time you'll come to know yourself more deeply and see that this relationship wasn't meant to last forever. Just use it to learn about yourself, and your next couple of relationships will be exponentially better. For the immediate feelings, try journaling, meditating, talking it out, working out, etc.

I just stayed on a 3-acre lot where the guy was growing olives, grapes, coffee and misc other things. That way in 5 years he can quit his job and live off wine and olive oil sales. I recommend making it sustainable in that way as well. This guy would let people stay for free via some app I forgot the name of, and require them to work 25 hours per week in exchange for 3 daily meals and a place to sleep. He rented out one half of his house on Airbnb and a space where an RV can park. Doing this, he was able to pay his $3,800 monthly mortgage for free. I recommend doing this. I'm down to help out. 24, good with tools, motivated. This is also a great time because I am taking a long break from working.

I'd say our people average to center. Biden is president and he is basically in the center but leans left. Most people I meet are the old "socially liberal, fiscally conservative." But I get the feeling that whatever the answer is to the question is too vague to matter. We have liberals on both coasts and conservatives in rural areas and the middle US states, especially the South. As older people die off and younger generations grow up with more Stage Green values, we will go full-left.

I love Joe Rogan. At first I found him unbearable, but now that I know who he is I appreciate him more. He made a highly, highly nuanced point about porn and porn stars on the Theo Von episode that blew me away. He isn't just a meathead. He is genuinely thoughtful, well-rounded and experienced in life.

I will be in San Diego this weekend! (March 5th thru 7th to be exact) If anyone is in SD dm me and maybe we can meet up It would be fun to talk about spirituality and stuff over some good food

What are your top 10 values in order from highest value to lowest? Values help you make hard decisions more easily.

$15/hr is a step in the right direction. We have to bring people's standard of living, which has not really occurred for the general population in over a generation.

Were you bullied or put down? That is where a lot of my self-expression troubles have stemmed from. My suggestion is to work on this a little bit every day. You might not solve it in your first few attempts, but the longer you walk the path the better you will be.

You can work through feelings of shame, embarrassment, not feeling "good enough" or "worthy" as they arise. This ime is a years-long process, so relax a bit See if you can state the feeling in the form of a belief. For example "everyone thinks I am weird", "I don't belong here", "they will kick me out of this group", etc. I am sorry for the traumas you have endured growing up and I empathize with you. The fear of a psychotic break is just that, another fear. Let it go how you let go of anything else. Have you read Letting Go by David R. Hawkins yet? Highly recommend it. Ime psychotherapy is slow without the use of a practice on your own, such as meditation, yoga. A lot of people on this forum seem to like holotropic breathing.

Bummer! LA?@Logan

When I take a cold shower, which I never want to do, I tell myself "just this one time, and tomorrow I can take a hot, steamy shower." I end up taking a cold shower every day

Don't try to get a job. Try to get 10 jobs, and pick the best one. That's the best mindset for getting a job, if you just want any job.

Neil Strauss and Ingrid de La O seem to have a successful relationship with a lot of love, The yoga instructor Adriene Mishler on YouTube as "Yoga with Adriene" seems to be happy and positive, and I can't imagine her having a toxic relationship at all. Leo also said in his video about having a vision for what the actualized life can look like for you is that you can have a highly conscious relationship with almost no fighting and no drama, if you only do the work on yourself and read the best books. Leo has a couple good books about this topic on his book list. The Truth by Neil Strauss one from my personal library that I would recommend (it isn't on Leo's list though.) 1. I don't think highly successful couples get attached to the label they use if they decide to use one. 2. I believe people who were raised to be securely attached to their parents can have a successful relationship with no problems. Other people need to work out their attachment issues and learn healthy ways of relating, showing their needs, being vulnerable, etc.

Something practical you can do is journal to see what exactly about this situation and your mom triggers you, and then write about how you have that same circumstance or personal trait/characteristic in your life. If you think your mom is undisciplined, ask how am I undisciplined? Teal Swan has a great video about projection that you can look up. Her process is this: 1. How is it good for this person to be this way? 2. Why might it be bad for them to be the opposite way? 3. How is it good for me to be the opposite way? 4. Why might it be bad or bring me pain to be that way? This gives you compassion for the other persons situation, and shows you where you need to work on yourself

We can only advise you so much. Find a way to afford therapy and go regularly. Read books outside of therapy like those on Leo's book list, and develop a strong yoga or meditation practice. I recommend yoga because it tones the body which makes you more attractive and makes you feel better about yourself, and you can do it at home with free programs on YouTube. Even if you don't get a therapist, take your healing into your own hands. You need to develop a strong conceptual framework through reading high quality books. That will teach you where to put your focus and what questions to ask to get the best answers and results in life. Realize that you cannot heal overnight, because you didn't get fragmented overnight. This will take time. If you do a little bit more work on yourself each day, that is good and that is enough. Do your best and let the chips fall where they may.

It is often times easier to fight a monster when you know the name of it and can see its face. It is a little unnerving to be up against an invisible and nameless opponent. Try to reassure yourself that there is a reason for these feelings though you may not know what that reason is at this moment. And see if you can let go of emotions about your emotions. For example, fear that you are angry. In this example, let go of the fear and then the anger. That will make things flow much smoother. If you can take a complex of emotions and slowly tease it apart by letting go of smaller emotions one at a time, you can more effectively and efficiently work through the whole complex. I will use an example from my life. In thinking about leaving my job, I get a big knot of emotions in my chest and stomach. Instead of trying to release the whole thing at once and feeling ineffective, I can first let go of small things around the periphery such as missing my old coworkers, missing the drive to work, fearing the uncertainty of getting a new job, etc. Much luck to you.