Osaid

The best way to predict the future is to create it To be free of fear is to be full of love Love yourself instead of loving the idea of someone else loving you Every end is a new beginning Perception creates possibility, and possibility creates reality Change your perspective and the world will change for you

Recently, yes. Eventually you will get sick of your own complacency and unwillingness to stand up for yourself. You might reach some sort of breaking point where you get really annoyed by your complacency and fear, like some big life decision, that's what happened to me at least. If you love yourself and respect yourself then you will get up and do what needs to be done in order to forge the best version of yourself. You will do it out of love for yourself and gratefulness towards what life has currently handed you. Either you start working on yourself now, or you wait for life to force you into a situation where you have no choice but to work on yourself. When you start working on yourself, when you start confronting what you fear, do it out of love and respect towards yourself. If you wanna become someone who changes the world, you gotta confront what currently makes you uncomfortable. Use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards what you need to forge yourself into the best version of you. In the framework of the Hero's Journey, the things you fear are the dragons that the hero must slay, the bigger the fear the bigger the dragon. But once you slay it, man do you become a much stronger person. It's time to start sticking up for yourself. Show your dreams and ideas some love. You've been neglecting your desires this entire time. Baby steps. At least build some discipline for yourself. Start waking up early. Start researching your interests and what you want to do. Get serious about it before life forces you to get serious about it. Start pre-emptively challenging yourself. Don't let life throw challenges at you, make your own challenges for your own sake. This way, when life gives you lemons, you will already be so skilled and qualified that you can easily make lemonade out of it, and brush past it like it's nothing. This idea of starting to be "serious" and being "disciplined" might scare you, that's good. Ask yourself, why the hell are you scared of turning your life into something amazing? You're scared of a putting a little bit of discipline in your life? Haven't you waited long enough? Aren't you sick of constantly getting worried and scared about improving yourself? Notice that fear, and be angry that you have that fear, and focus on getting rid of that fear by confronting what you fear. Like I said, use your fear and anxiety as a guidepost towards the dragons you need to slay.

Expose yourself to situations where you disagree with people and deal with angry people. Customer service jobs are a good start. Notice the resistance you feel when imagining that scenario, disagreeing with people and dealing with angry people. That feeling right there runs your life right now. Think about that. Think about it until it makes you feel sick of yourself. Why are you so weak? Why are you so scared of something so stupid? Why do you put other people's emotions over your own? Where is the love towards yourself, towards your emotions and your own will? What about your own desires, dude? How long will you suffer and live in anxiety at the whims of other people until you get sick of it and decide to start treating yourself right and showing yourself the love and respect you deserve? You have abandoned your emotional well-being and you have delegated it to the whims of other people. It's time to show your own well-being some love and care, isn't it? Aren't you tired of willingly letting other people run over your own dreams and desires? Think of yourself an emotionally abused child that has been neglected love and care, it's time to raise that child well and stand up for it. When you say no to others, that is because you love and respect yourself. The next time someone asks you to do them a favor you don't have any obligation to do, say no. Start saying no when you actually feel like it, even for simple things. And take pride in saying no. And feel the love and respect towards yourself in that moment. I suffered from extreme people-pleasing. I remember at work my manager was constantly changing my shift to long work hours, "can you come in on this day? can you stay until closing today?". I was deathly afraid to say no, that's how timid I was. I forced myself to suffer long hours as if I was happy to volunteer for them simply because I didn't want to risk my manager being annoyed by me or not liking me, do you see how insane that is? After a while, I finally said no one time, and I felt so damn amazing. It's like the love and respect I was denying myself this entire time was finally granted to me. I'm finally standing up for myself, for my emotions, my well-being, and that's ok. It's okay to say no. The amount of dread and annoyance I experienced from having my shifts constantly prolonged and shifted really woke me up. One day you will probably get sick of it, the anxiety and dread around this issue, and you will come to a breaking point, and that is where you will realize the love you have been denying yourself and you will repent and you will begin to finally start standing up for yourself.

I mean, if you asked Connor Murphy if he was okay, he would probably say everything is perfect as well These posts make me think he is in a state in which we can't rely on him to be aware of whether things are going perfect or not perfect. Or maybe he is perfect and well aware, just extremely emotional and ecstatic for whatever reason, probably coming off a high or something.

I did think his recent blogs were odd and unlike his previous ones. I just assumed he was turning a new leaf and being more open and emotional and abstract. The insta stuff does seem more unhinged though

When he first started popping up I saw 2 or 3 clips of him and thought he was a total moron. There was some clip of him berating someone who had depression which rubbed me the wrong way. Now that he's basically all over social media, I've been forced to watch him, and I don't dislike him as much, I understand him more now. A lot of what he says is purposefully provocative and lacks nuance, so that he can elaborate more on it later when people try to debate him. He is obviously a reactionary, and a troll to a certain degree, and that part of him is very entertaining and funny, and he is aware of that as he laughs at himself sometimes. But you know, it's called marketing, being a polarizing reactionary is one way to market yourself. As others here have said before, he embodies the positive aspects of the lower stages very well, considering he has lots of money. And he pushes that to people who have not developed it well. He says what a lot of people think but are scared to say, and that attracts people in and of itself. It seems that the lower stages are suppressed in western media nowadays, and Andrew Tate is feeding into that void. I think a big thing that separates someone Andrew Tate from the typical hardcore self-help gurus like David Goggins is the virality and reactionary nature of the way he marketed himself. Even if you're not interested in making money or doing self-help or whatever, Andrew Tate is still entertaining despite that. He has basically crafted an entire character around himself. He has his own unique way of wording things and giving advice. From my perspective, he is a call to action in regards to how politically correct and timid people have become in society. He uses the politically correct culture to his advantage, as they constantly give him coverage because they are offended or want to debate with him. I don't agree with all of what he says or how he even presents it, but there is truth there, and I have to respect the desire to go against the politically correct culture which creates fear around controversial opinions.

Maybe, either video is not that difficult for me if I focus on it. Leo himself has to do the exercise and bring himself into that state of consciousness as he explains it, so the state is there from him in that video as well, I just have to tap into it. One has more order and intention behind it (guided exercise), and one is more sporadic and chaotic (live awakening), maybe different people will benefit more from either. In general I've noticed such moments sprinkled throughout Leo's other videos too, but these few videos seem to be much more focused on bringing out that awareness. And also these videos focus on different insights. The live awakening feels like a barrage of insights at once, whereas the guided exercise focuses on this aspect of "You are god alone by yourself". Both will definitely bring your awareness to God, but perhaps a different flavor of God.

I achieved something similar with his exercise in the "Guided exercise for realizing you are God" video

Sounds like immersive/maladaptive daydreaming, or some variation of it. It happens to me too sometimes, but I don't really find it too bothersome. It's just an amusing daydream to me, although it does make me feel narcissistic at times. Do you have similar thoughts when drifting off into sleep?

It's really weird. I feel really high and happy listening to music, it amplifies emotions in a really enjoyable way, but its just sounds arbitrarily put together. It doesn't make sense why I would enjoy it, but I do anyways, there's no reason or logic to enjoying it, it's primitive in that sense. What's even weirder is that our brain has this capacity to enjoy music, like why did we even evolve to enjoy music? Music seems to detach me from my old confined and limited perspective. It adds "intelligence" or "emotion" to my experience, and those didn't previously exist in the experience. Music doesn't require any logic or reasoning to enjoy, so it's a very pure and intuitive form of enjoyment. You enjoy music for the sake of music, not some for some ulterior goal or motive in the future.

grief seems to be the most accurate term there

You might be onto something. I think the tendency to think of sexuality as something that can be pushed into rigid boxes or labels can also push people into behaviors that don't entirely suit them. For example, in the case of your friend, he might be pushed to dress or look as a guy or girl so that he can be perceived as and operate as a guy or girl throughout society. If there isn't an easy way to identify someone's gender, they will probably be misunderstood and misclassified, so there is definitely a push to exaggerate how they look and act in society. And also, the idea of gender always being some rigid category can lead people to assume that they should fit themselves into that rigid category even if it isn't entirely accurate to them. Sexist behavior could be a significant factor, but I'm not sure if it's the root. The root seems to be confusion around identity and interests and just how sexuality works in general. You're right, hormones and surgery seem to be an objectively bad route for the most part, I see it as akin to getting radical plastic surgery to change how your body looks. It just leads to a lot of health complications, and in a lot of cases, regret. It seems to be a very crude materialistic approach. If there was actually some magical way to properly sexual organs and hormones with no complications or health effects or whatever that would be nice, but doesn't seem reasonable, that's just not how things are. Also what do you do if after you've transitioned you realize you're genderfluid or something and that you wanna switch back, that would be tough. Life doesn't seem to like being black and white, so I can't say what the "answer" is, but I can definitely say it involves deep contemplation around sexuality and identity and such things, and these are things that basically no one in society nowadays really understands so it will be challenging. And my intuition tells me radical surgery and hormone therapy is probably not the way to go, that seems to be a rabbit hole which might lead to more confusion in the long run, it reminds me of that guy who keeps getting surgery in order to look like his favorite K-pop idol. I think the key might be dropping the overreliance on gender labels though. Yeah see, traditional gender labels can't account for nuances like this. What gender is "likes being straight but occasionally likes to wear dresses and paint nails sometimes" lol. There might be some gender labels that can potentially account for this, like genderflux, but they are too abstract and non-specific to really be useful. Or you could say he's a femboy, but that's about as useful as calling someone a tomboy, yeah it hints at their traits but still doesn't say much.

I think you just have to be constantly re-examining and re-contextualizing your experience to fit those insights in. Like for example, we know that Santa Claus exists only in imagination, that's a good first step, but now ask yourself what else exists in imagination? Is "anxiety" or "your neighbour" similar to Santa Claus in the sense that it might be imagined? What are the differences? You gotta really zone in on it. Compare your awareness of "Santa Claus" to your awareness of "anxiety." It helps when you have actual experience to practice with, like for example working in some customer service job or something. Pay attention to the experiences where you feel that resistance and scrutinize it, and also pay attention when something you assumed to be correct or projected onto something ended up being wrong, those are valuable experiences. It's good to know "it's all just me judging myself", but you have to actually be able to manually spot that insight in very specific situations that pertain to your ego identity. For example, if you feel bad because someone called you an idiot, you have to be able to pinpoint "oh ok, this insight fits here somehow", and then move on from there. And then naturally that will lead to more and more insights, and most importantly, direct experience of those insights in your own personal life. And then the habit of projection will slowly undo itself.

@Someone here https://forum.rebootnation.org/index.php?threads/4590/

I did Are you referring to that one post of that guy talking about the olive oil fleshlight?

You got any sources showing how olive oil could potentially help? never heard of that

I have similar experiences. Whenever I have an inquiry which muddles my identity as a human ego, it gets kind of scary. I wonder how scared I'll be during a full-on awakening experience, I feel like I'm way too scared for whatever reason. Life is just too unpredictable. I feel like I could easily get transported to some hell dimension without reason and just be stuck there forever, if I took a psychedelic or something. It doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility with all the crazy shit that the universe dreams up.

Working in customer service has helped, but very slowly. I'm still in the process of unravelling it. I still feel like people are secretly angry or annoyed by me when I talk with them or do some tiny thing wrong. I think when it comes to irrational fears like this, the problem is lack of experience. Your mind tries to make up for that lack of experience through its imagination, it imagines what the experience could possibly be, and imagination can be very faulty and fantastical, which leads to irrational fears. Not to mention, your imagination also likes to cherry-pick past situations, so be careful of that. I guess the key is to stop delegating experience to imagination, and to start creating the actual experience. So in a less-wordy way, exposure therapy. When you gain experience you start to realize that no one really cares, and also that the people you compare yourself to also have their demons in the closet as well. You will often run into a situation where you're like "OMG that guy totally hates me" but then he does something completely opposite to that, betraying your imagination, those are the moments to cherish and be aware of, because they break the illusion. In general, you should prioritize your emotional well-being above all. If you're having thoughts which are causing anxiety, you should immediately ground yourself and alleviate it. Do a body check, are you being attacked by someone? Is there a fire occurring somewhere in your experience? Then where is the anxiety coming from? There is no possible situation where having anxiety is necessarily beneficial or practical, it's just extra suffering on top of the experience. Overall it seems to come down to projections and lack of experience. Become aware of how you project in social situations. Someone won't even say anything, yet you'll already assume they're thinking bad of you. Can you see how exhausting this is in the long-term, thinking of all these elaborate scenarios when you meet people? Just drop it, be open-minded, don't assume, live in that moment and in that interaction. It is also possible to become non-reactive to the elaborate scenarios that you imagine, this happens when you realize them to simply be thoughts and not reality, this is probably the best way to go about it. Notice that, in actuality, you have never experienced someone thinking badly of you outside of your imagination. That experience is always imagined, unless you somehow entered someone's head. That's how powerful your imagination is, become aware of it.

Yeah, go start a timer for 5 minutes and do nothing but stare at the seconds going up/down for 5 minutes. It will be the longest 5 minutes of your life, lol. You can also do the opposite, focus on enjoying your present experience and not worrying about time or what will occur in the future, and you will experience a timeless flow state, until you start thinking about time again. I think the key to warping time is becoming conscious of the fact that your only way to measure time is through your faulty imagination. When you lose track of time, realize that in your current direct experience there is literally no way to measure or perceive time aside from your imagination. That will really make time start to lose its rigidity. I'm telling you, a 9-5 is a really good training ground for this, I've literally trained myself to make those working hours go by in a flash. It helps to avoid looking at the time or anything related to time, although it makes it hard to tell when my shift is over sometimes.

The less you pay attention to time, the less time itself will exist. Our imagination is very faulty, and time depends on imagination. When you lose track of time, this breaks the illusion and perception of time. Without any clocks to count on, you cannot accurately gauge how much time has elapsed, the responsibility of measuring time is delegated to your imagination, and thus you are stuck in a warped sense of time, where time can seem to move much faster or slower than normal. The feeling of time moving "fast" or "slow" is just a consequence of the inability of your mind to imagine time in a consistent manner. Time will seem to move fastest when you are completely present in the moment, which is why people tend to say "time goes by fast when you're having fun". If you're checking the clock all the time, time will be much more substantial. If you are present in the moment without any thoughts relating to time, time will cease to exist for as long as you can maintain that level of perception. I actually learned a lot about how time works from working in a 9-5. The shift goes much slower or faster depending on how you conduct yourself. Your perception of time can also indirectly be hindered by how well you feel in your own body. For example, if your arm hurts, it may lead you to think more thoughts related to time such as "how long is my arm going to hurt for". So, having good energy levels and a healthy body can help you feel more present, because you will feel amazing in your body, and this feeling of being amazing actually pulls you into the present moment.

Take a shower. Showers are underrated. It will wipe away all the thoughts and stories you accumulated throughout the day, and it pulls you into the present moment. It's an instant increase in consciousness.

For some reason I seem to revert to this routine whenever I get less than 8 hours of sleep

Sounds like it might be a more nuanced issue, then. My only advice is to start researching and paying attention to your body. I've heard certain psychedelics can make people nauseous, so maybe look into that, but look into it deeply. See what the actual mechanism is that psychedelics have which makes people nauseous. See if the symptoms are consistent or related to anything, was anything potentially different the times you weren't vomiting? And also, what are you vomiting out? What is the vomiting like, what does it look like? Really look deep into all the factors. Also, is a headache always present during the vomiting? That seems to be an interesting symptom, cause when I vomit I don't necessarily have a headache. You should also maybe look up what that indicates.

coffee, music, done

New Awakening: Infinity of Coffee Tables