Osaid

Time != memory. As for saving previous experiences in your body, I have no idea, but it sounds interesting. And I get the logic, the body can store memory. And if you can induce a non-dual experience with it, that's good. Sounds like some kundalini stuff or something. Most of this stuff is very subjective and personal, so if you believe you can do it, go for it. Ultimately, nothing is preventing you from figuring out what you are though. It might seem that way if you cling to some specific experience you had a while ago, because now the current experience is seemingly contrasted. Otherwise, what is being prevented exactly? Is it the memory perception you are creating right now? But then how is something you are perceiving right now being prevented? I'm just saying that your current experience is all you need to figure out what you are.

Group conformity almost seems wired into human nature. You slowly lose your individuality through that even if you are aware of it logically. Then comes commitments, genuine personal bonds which you have to abandon, etc. It's like a frog being boiled, it's not some logical argument they're going to throw at you that you can just easily debate against. Gray areas and cognitive dissonance are slowly manufactured.

Oh ok, I'm just trying to understand what the fear is like. I hear a lot of people describe it as if they're dying, which is why I guess the term "ego death" exists, but I never really perceived it that way, so it is odd for me to see it described that way. It felt like "I" was unravelling or dissolving psychologically, and then my experience just recontextualized itself, but I wouldn't describe that as deadly at all. It was just happening "internally." For me, death has to do with a physical threat or something. It was very lucidating and liberating overall, which doesn't seem very deadly to me. I just realized exactly what I was. I will also say, there are many flavours of what is called "ego death." You can get ego death from turning into a chair through salvia or something, or you can get "it" just from the baseline state. It is true that certain ways of getting it will be more uncomfortable, for example, it would be hard to conduct normal human life by being a chair, but I feel like looking at it that way is losing yourself in the content instead of the structure. "Ego death" can happen while you're just sitting on a bench, and it can also happen while being transformed into a chair, but the content of those situations is irrelelvant. It is simply just that the psychological identity-making stops, and then experience is left to be exactly as it is, and then that experience by itself is simply what you are and what you always were. For example, it is hard to continue creating the identity "I am a human" when you have literally been transformed into a chair, so that is why that experience tends to cause ego death. It is not that the experience itself is more true or "higher consciousness", but rather just the fact that you are literally a chair with an identity crisis. The input of "I am" is naturally recognized to be useless in that state. Furthermore, living your normal life as a human is not really contradictory to ego death. From a certain perspective, you could say ego death doesn't exist at all simply because the ego never existed. And to expand even more on this, only the ego can perceive something called "ego death", so it is a catch-22. Living from this place might be called "enlightenment." Thinking about things and having memories about things is not ego, it is creating a second identity based on the perception of those phenomenon which is ego. The ego can be seen as an unnecessary secondary interpretation of your immediate experience. I will also say this, but any ideas of yourself dissolving or disappearing forever is also just ego. It's not actually ego death. The ego describes "it" that way, but of course that is not "it." You never actually reached "the other side", so what are you fearing exactly? I think it might be the case that at that moment in time, the ego decides to run through a lot of what it has heard about what ego death is, and how it should be scary, and how it involves disappearing forever, stuff like this. And then this causes fear. Perhaps it would be much easier for someone who cannot create the label "ego death" in their mind at all, as they have never heard of the phenomenon and thus cannot fantasize about it. I think it is possible for it to unfold in a way where you don't immediately come up with that label at all, you might have some insight that just immediately pulls you into it, which is kind of what happened to me personally. There are many ways of "going into it", and your mind can frame it many ways. As previously stated, it could involve turning into a chair, or simply just sitting on a bench doing nothing. So there is that variety in what could trigger "it." And I personally feel that it doesn't have to be a very deathly or frightening experience at all, but it could just be something very simple and immediate, and then you can continue to go on with your life afterwards.

Psychedelic-induced? Does it feel like a panic attack (fast heartbeat, feeling of experience seeming unreal, trembling, etc.)? Is there an actual perceivable threat to your body/experience aside from the aformentioned symptoms? Also, if not psychedelic-induced, have you ever taken psychedelics in the past?

Why not? What does a non-dual state look like to you and why is it unwanted?

If it's a cult then you should leave immediately, and also watch Leo's videos on cult psychology, it is very useful.

Oh right, enlightenment 2.0, the one where you realize that you're God an infinite amount of times. ? Also, I'm not saying it because I think that you're talking about something. I'm saying it because Leo himself literally said it:

Self-inquiry. Bad trips happen (mostly) because you cling to identity and thoughts about yourself. It's the same way that paranoia and panic attacks work, but the fears are "metaphysical." You might have thoughts like "I'm stuck here forever" or stuff like that. For example, if the psychedelic transforms you into an alligator, and you have a thought saying "I don't want to be stuck as an alligator", that is going to be a bad trip because you are an alligator with an identity crisis. If you just fully be an alligator, then that is not going to be a bad trip. Being an alligator is not a problem unless you think that you're not an alligator.

Good thing you're not an idea.

You're asking the wrong person. Psychedelics don't give you enlightenment. Leo doesn't even believe enlightenment exists anymore. Not that psychedelics can't be useful, but they aren't really necessary, and they can actually become a massive distraction if "used for Truth." It's good for opening someone's mind if they are especially stubborn, maybe.

Well observed.

Self-inquiry.

Fear of getting physically injured, maybe you entertained the thought recently or saw a video You are socially anxious and feel like you are being attacked by other people perceiving you in social situations Food cravings, may have just been hungry in real life during the dream

The sensation of pain is not self or belief. Hunger is not self or belief. Neither of those create anything but hunger and pain. They are biological motivators for preserving your body. It's important not to confuse the experience of being a human as an identity. Identity has nothing to do with your experience as a human. In a video game, Mario is programmed to lose life points and flash red when he is hit by a fireball to preserve his body, but that is not creating a self, it is literally programmed into Mario. It is a indicator that tells the player "this kills Mario", but notice that the player does not need to believe that they are Mario in order to realize that they should avoid pain in the video game. There is also no need to ignore beliefs. You can't ignore pain if you want to live, which is right. But pain is not a belief. It is the biological imperative you are programmed with. As an example, your nervous system is designed to experience fear in reaction to loud unexpected sounds. It is hard to say "I fear loud sounds" because the fear was experienced before you could even say it to yourself. This type of fear happens unexpectedly, determined by something which isn't self, but rather an internal biological mechanism. It's also interesting to notice that there is not much judgment or ruminating with this type of fear, it is very quick and succinct. You don't associate yourself with this afterwards, like "I am a person who fears loud sounds" or "I hate loud sounds." It is perceived exactly as it is, a quick adrenaline rush which motivates you to neutralize and inspect your surroundings, that is exactly what fear is in this scenario. Not all motivations are motivated mentally by self. There are objective biological motivations that just take control over your body. You don't rationalize moving your hand off of a hot stove, pain does that for you.

The only thing mind can imprison is mind.

There is only one thing to realize, which is what you are. If you just realize what you are, you don't have to focus on every single thought structure, that does not work. You cannot focus in on every single thought structure because different thoughts can be generated forever. You have to "see through" the structure of thoughts as a whole, which automatically happens when you realize what you are. And it is not anything intellectual or relative, it is not detaching from anything, and it is not removing a belief, it is simply just becoming aware of what you are, like you would become aware of sound. When you remove or detach from things, you are still operating in the realm of beliefs, and so you are fighting fire with fire, so to speak. Of course you will not be affected by beliefs when you completely remove the ability to perceive a belief, but you can view yourself with perfect clarity even while viewing a belief. The reason why no one seems to realize it is because they are just adopting their psychedelic experiences back into their identity. They have not fundamentally realized what they are yet, and so they are still substituting experience with identity and knowledge. You can grasp what you are from any state. It's just that certain states make invalid beliefs about yourself more obvious. There is a "progression" which can be perceived, for example, you might improve emotionally. You might improve your habits. Stuff like that. But this is not at the root, this is simply stemming from the same medium of belief-changing. This is what therapy does. And this is what a profound psychedelic experience might do. It happens because you changed your beliefs about yourself into something that is less dysfunctional, but beliefs are still being used as a crutch. It is possible to "transcend" the belief-making forever, which is just seeing self-beliefs as what they are, and then that stops you from ever panicking in response to thoughts about yourself. Yes. "I" and "am" and any other communication following that is the basis for self-delusion. You have never in your life ever been able to describe yourself. It's impossible. When you say "I went for a walk today", that is absolutely not what you are. When you say "I am a human", that is absolutely not what you are. When you say "I am thirsty", that is absolutely not what you are. All these statements are just communications, they are not you. They are statements and conclusions generated by you. Reality doesn't exist as a statement or conclusion.

It is very obvious in hindsight. Really what is happening is that the mind is constantly trying to recontextualize everything through beliefs about itself. But there is a very strict limit to beliefs. Beliefs are identities which can never capture what you are. When you depend on identity instead of experience, it becomes maladaptive and dysfunctional. You are experience. When you think you are what you aren't, it feels bad, because it contradicts you, and so you have to fight against yourself and fear yourself.

When I say belief, I am actually referring to your identity. Your beliefs about yourself = identity. You had a change in perception, and your identity or beliefs about yourself changed to accomodate for that change in perception. Your ideas and beliefs about "who owns thoughts and sounds" were challenged. The identity/belief probably became something like "I am alone as God since I am generating everything." It's the same reason why you might feel bad about yourself because someone calls you stupid, it's because your beliefs about yourself are challenged. "Aloneness" or "loneliness" tends to operate similarly despite the content or complexity changing. Structurally it is the same. It is based on your identity and beliefs about experience. I think it's worthwhile to contemplate which beliefs about yourself made you feel lonely, and why different beliefs feel less lonely. You can probably feel your levels of loneliness fluctuating, so just contemplate what is going on there, would be my advice.

You can't be bothered by something that doesn't exist.

Bro, it's a belief. The belief "I am generating everyone I know" = fear and panic. Your reaction, which is fear, is to accomodate for this belief. In the same way that you would get up and drink a glass of water when thirsty. Or how you would become fearful when encountered with a bear. You can actually just recontextualize this belief as "I am generating knowledge" or "I am generating all my knowledge." You are adding a useless interpretation in there which is causing fear. That's why you feel fear when you "run into" that thought structure, otherwise it is not experienced. Knowledge about people has always been generated in your mind. You're just adding additional knowledge/belief on top of knowledge/belief which is making you feel bad. Knowledge and beliefs only generate knowledge and beliefs. You're adding an extra interpretation to your knowledge about people which is saying "I am creating everyone." It feels "real" because of the fearful reaction, that is the superfluous connection. In theory there is nothing to fear because it's not even experienced. You can't experience a lack of anyone, because that is not what you are. If you believe there is a serial killer hiding in your closet, a similarly real reaction happens, until you inspect the closet, and see that nothing is there. Please do the same with your direct experience. Inspect direct experience.

Yeah you just need an infinite amount of guests

I like this

You're having trouble because you believe that you are alone, which isn't the case. You can't believe your way into awareness of yourself. The universe can't "be alone" in itself, it has no such feature. Lack of yourself is always inferred through mind and then reacted to through self-deprecating thoughts and any accompanied biological reactions, like a fast heartbeat or adrenaline for example. There's nothing to really get over. You can see that a belief was recently generated, and that this belief now creates unpleasant sensations within you. You haven't become aware of anything but belief, the belief which can be "ungenerated" or let go of. Any beliefs about yourself are a cheap and dysfunctional substitute for the real thing. Notice how the idea/belief "You aren't actually alone" creates a tinge of relief within you. You haven't changed before or after, your beliefs about yourself have. Nothing has changed in experience but belief. Experience doesn't deal with a lack of anything, beliefs do because they are based on percisely what is not experienced.

You can't "get stuff out of" conceptual mind, otherwise that is not conceptual mind anymore. Conceptual mind stays conceptual mind, as it should. Everything you just typed is still conceptual mind. Hope that helps.