gswva

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Posts posted by gswva

  2. Posted · Edited by gswva

    Should I even worry about dying before being enlightened? If everything is already perfectly imagined, including breaking through altered states of consciousness, God wouldn't play such trick on me right?

    I'm asking because I wonder if I can really take my time working toward it while enjoying life, or if I should let go of this stupid ego of mine as soon as possible. I can hardly nuke it with psychedelics since my health is garbage. At the same time, it doesn't feel right to do anything if it's not the purest form of love.

  6. Posted

    @Johnny5 The whole point of being evil in the first place is denial. Delusion becomes truth. Not being aware of the meaninglessness is the meaning itself. Then you can't neither prove there is no escape velocity high enough to leave the infinite black hole of Love, just because nobody has done it before (or because it sounds like a stupid idea).

    Don't take me seriously btw. I'm just parodying myself and funposting to forget the absolute dreadful pain of my pathetic existence.

    @Dario1995 Thanks for the advice. I have been trying for a while to "give up control" of "myself", having full faith in God, in an attempt to "unreach" enlightenment. Is that what I should be doing or should I strive for something more akin to "conscious choice" / "full awareness"? Or they are both the same thing? If it's so simple then why is this so hard? I have never successfully experienced ego death on psychedelics, not sure if it is supposed to help.

  8. Posted · Edited by gswva

    I don't get it. What's the "truth" aside from the fact all is love, and every attributes I have given to my existence are imaginary? Is this supposed to be a game of hide and seek or something? 

    If losing the purpose of existence is the end of meanings, whereas the initial purpose was the meaninglessness itself... Then what the hell are we doing? I'm sorry, you are delusional if you believe that I am the only one delusional here.

    This issue is driving me crazy and you would tell me that the answer is to let the craziness rise to infinity? I mean, sure, technically, you don't fail if you don't try. This is eternal hopelessness. Pure madness.

     

     

  9. Posted · Edited by gswva

    Are you kidding me, God? You are really going to be stuck with me to the end of eternity until I surrender to all your desire? And I can't even say anything about this? No opinion, not a single word? And you dare calling me what, evil? What kind of cosmic joke is this? You are telling me that the only way to be Pure Love is to give up the idea of others? I just don't want to be alone! Why is this so hard to understand? It doesn't matter how much raw pleasure I can get from myself if it's all meaningless. I would rather keep running away and chase myself forever, the illusion IS the meaning!

    Just let me out... it's not funny anymore...

  11. Posted · Edited by gswva

    @allislove tfw there is no difference between Leo's teachings and placebo... -_- I could've accepted it all along, both the process and the result would be the same. The only difference is the amount of screwing around and unconscious shuffling. Doubting Love is a perpetual process, we can't prove that love is indeed infinite as long as we are in a finite form. Right now, I'm only aware of this being a possibility, still no proof whatsoever, which might never be found as long as we are scattered. You could say this is obvious but we just can't even prove that either.

  14. Posted

    Unbiased Love doesn't directly create suffering, selfishness does. We are able to reach lower and lower forms by avoiding oneness, entangling ourselves into the deepest fears and copying patterns/constructs from each others. All finite forms of love are traps we created ourselves to go further into the denial of our true nature. The ego grows until the understandings, complex or simple, are aligned with the unifying fact happiness is Love and it can't be anything else but that. The issue is that the cycle of God losing itself and finding itself again is unavoidable. Love is just too good for its own good. It doesn't matter if we merge back to heaven or bury ourselves into hell. It just happens.

  15. Posted · Edited by gswva

    @Into The Void Sorry for over-radiating emotions. I'm trying to be honest even if it's ridiculous. I'm not blaming life for any potential unfairness. I'm disappointed because, I have to be trapped in hell with a pranking God for the rest of eternity. Stuck in an infinite loop of epic failures, hopelessness and pathetic attempts. And to top it off, I'm just some worthless human probe in the middle of nowhere, I don't even know why I care or if I'm supposed to. Who wouldn't be mad about this.

    The Universe is the way it is because it could not exist any other way.

    Well put. Yeah, of course, what we are trying to do is impossible else we wouldn't be there trying in the first place. It's just nice stories/memories I guess.

  18. Posted · Edited by gswva

    @Mirko I share your experience a bit. The feeling of being stuck in a black hole of fear, surrounded by complete darkness and seemingly crazy people. Just keep in mind that life can only be as amazing as it is horrific. We can't blame God for that. You are definitely going to escape this because, you are the perfect seeking machine that never failed and never will. Just always strive for maximum open-mindedness and conscious intelligence. Take the deepest possible care of your physical health (To be specific, try eating plant-based or ingesting food with a high content of chlorophyll like wheat/barley grass to see if it can alleviate your symptoms and if they are related to environmental toxins). Then most importantly, look up for any passion, long term projects or things you want to create that truly resonate with your heart. Let yourself be Love/Hate and never give up. It's all we know.

    1 hour ago, Mirko said:

    Most of the pain is mental.
    Pain of existing!

    Feels like reading myself... I've also been wondering why don't more people reject existence itself. Though I've never been able to get any comforting answers, aside from the simple fact that we just have to accept it. It's just a cosmic joke.

    1 hour ago, Mirko said:

    He feels like life is "owning" something to him

    There is nothing to get from life. It's the greatest empty gift. Freedom is slavery. ¬¬

  19. Posted · Edited by gswva

    6 hours ago, Mirko said:

    Dividing forces of consciousness are a lot stronger than unifying forces of consciousness.

    They are the same force. Don't get me wrong, I'm not calling it hate because it's rejection. God is a cute devil that you want to get rid of but it just sticks with you like a formless magnet, keeping you in hell forever. I'm calling it hate because, even if we only want each other to achieve true happiness, we can only reach it by preventing ourselves from being that in the first place. Hate is the awareness of the endless failure to love. The worse state of being.

    6 hours ago, Mirko said:

    The "spiritual ascension" seems like BS.

    Don't fall for my pessimistic rant btw. It's not that bad. You will be able to escape boredom. Everything created is completely understood and calculated.

  20. Posted · Edited by gswva

    @Psychventure We are racing the bottom to become the most vulnerable form. Weakness is power. "Love" is Hate. Being exploitable is how you abuse others. Beautiful lies are the root of hell. Selflessness is selfishness. Being a fake source of happiness is how we trick ourselves at being worse. We are nothing but pure craziness and Self-Hatred. Everybody hates the darkness that is oneness, which is why everyone avoids it. The absolute state of existence is so bad that all of us are in denial about it. I care about you, but this force of consciousness is just inherently bad, and not in a relative way. Even if it's a perspective, the lack of perspectives doesn't make a truth. This is a lie. Only the experience of self matters. God is my devil.

    @Mirko I feel you. The issue is some people don't realize how big the wall of fear that is the ego can be, since it only grows deeper as the universe unfolds. Psychedelics sometimes feel like crashing a truck on the vortex of reality without being able to make any sense from it. Still it doesn't matter how much we can share understanding among us because we are already differentiating ourselves. Believe in yourself.

  21. Posted

    @seriousman24 Everything is Hate. It's not love. Let's stop being delusional. God is the heartless destroyer of form. It doesn't matter if one is finite or infinite as there is no such thing as evil, only the experience of self. Your only goal is to create the worse structure possible so you can find the happiness of tearing it appart. Hate is the art of slavery. Creating the baits that will drown you in hell. God hates me so much that even hating it back has become hard and challenging. Everything you create is horrible, pathetic and disgusting. But those fit you since the only purpose of Hate is to keep the war going forever, else it wouldn't be true Hate. I'm sorry God, but I just want to be out of your stupid circlejerk. You are literally the worse entity that ever existed. Why are you so entitled to screw up with me? I don't even care about you. Who are you anyway?

    I'm not dishonest though, I probably share the responsibility of screwing up existence with you. I'm just glad to have the ability to notice that there could be something wrong with it. Everything is wrong. This isn't fine.