Origins

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Posts posted by Origins

  1. Posted

    @Nahm thanks for chipping in ;) 

    3 hours ago, Nahm said:

    @Elisabeth

    Loss, rejection and abandonment are thoughts. 

    How do those thoughts resonate with your being, with our true nature, with feeling? 

    How about infinite intelligence (‘the body’, ‘the heart’)... heart & body giving those thoughts a ‘hell yes’, or a ‘hell no’?

    Creating, acceptance, unity, these are thoughts too. 

    How do those thoughts resonate?  What does the heart say, what does the body say? Hell yes, or hell no? 

     

  2. Posted · Edited by Origins

    5 hours ago, Elisabeth said:

    You know, that's rather hard to say. 

    I've suggested loss, rejection ... abandonment perphaps... some kind of disconnection. They are not bound to trigger the sharp clear aspect of that emotion which I know as pure pain, but they are a huge trigger. 

    @Elisabeth Would it be okay if I asked some questions about your relationships with significant others? Mainly on an emotional level and, what you’re drawn to the most emotionally, what you avoid, tolerate, and so on. Just want to get an understanding as to the boundaries in relation to others, especially those closer relationships and how those relationships manifest those boundaries in their expression and closeness, especially the dynamics surrounding said closeness vs distance with also yourself.

  3. Posted

    @GreenLight

    7 hours ago, GreenLight said:

    Ok, let's try it out.

    I have an occasional strong negative total rage. It feels like something been repressed by society throughout my life and i feel like i want to free myself from this societal restriction. This might be a trauma. Anything like "having a family, career, education, girlfriend etc." that society taught me is restricting me. I feel like i want to put everyone in a concentration camp and torture them to be freed from them.

    I know that feeling, the volcanic ash felt from one of my rages could slit all throats of nazis to win that earlier war much quicker.

    How often do you rage and what are the exact environmental trigger points? Or does it happen out of the blue? Is it connected more with certain people than others if so what is the nature of that relationship?

  4. Posted

    @Someone here

    Depends on the anxiety, every drug dealer is different as they say you gotta know different techniques to bring their prices down not all techniques work on the same drug dealer. It’s the same with anxiety.

    When does your anxiety occur most often sir?

    Where do you feel it in the body?

    On a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your emotional intelligence?

  5. Posted

    @Epikur why would I listen to you? There’s no you to listen to anyway right. I mean, these are your words not mine not trying to be rude outside of shooting you in the head with your own factoid bullets. Obviously not enough awareness to be like, hey bro from another mother in hoodlum of crack and hoes selling to little kids with braces and Tourette’s, what’s that writing you did I’m open minded about that.

  7. Posted

    @Quicksilver On spiral dynamics Sam Harris is just stage dumb.

    Free will is just correlated to awareness. I've written about it. We have it, it would be scaled in the same way as IQ with various things outside of intelligence influencing it from trauma to emotional intelligence to diet and exercise, to even height. Yes your height contributes, that's why chicks are biased towards them, they got those free will cookies.

  10. Posted

    @Zion Arrogance is more synonymous with insecurity. I mean, its easy to perceive me as arrogant but maybe something else is at play. i'm working on my empathy recently for example, its kind of a big deal, I'm probably going to be one of the most empathic people on the planet, I'm already starting to invent my own terminology that you won't find on the internet or the most nieche internet space of sensitive people too afraid to meet up in public due to their endless list of social phobias and anxieties. Poke at the insecurities, small to plentiful is predictive, outside of this sometimes its sheer ignorance at play, you're ignorantly confident and not arrogant, it makes you look arrogant. 

  13. Posted · Edited by Origins

    @Walkaboutman Done. Sorry.

    Unless you can communicate with intelligence with one another or one of you subordinates themselves, you're done.

    It's the toughest thing to come to terms with when you've invested that much emotional energy I'm sorry you've had to go through this. It's extremely difficult when you're not seeing eye to eye be it due to personality, attachment style, level of growth, intelligence, etc. If it doesn't have to do with something as simple as growth its virtually no use, and even then why are you waiting for the person to grow or if the person is invested in you why would they put up any hassle towards growth. I wish you both all the best.

  14. Posted

    @Javfly33

    4 hours ago, Javfly33 said:

    I have tried to talk to her but in his rationality she doesn't imagine

    So she's got a masculine side then I see, try to appeal to her more adventurous side then, say its important to your manhood, right of passage, etc. In the event of her flexing her muscles you can always just plan a date with her just to show her that you still care about her and not running away.

  16. Posted · Edited by Origins

    @Flowerfaeiry Maybe he's read something that says that you should wait for the woman to pursue you after sex, serious, etc. Culture is weird like that. There's no easy answer outside of understanding the context fully. Just don't run into his arms. Keep a calm space between you both. Keep anxiety low. If it doesn't work out, don't stress. Also understand one another's attachment styles well. GL.

  18. Posted

    It's amazing how in the moment the expression feels so real, including after playback, and then after several iterations beyond several other states you go through within your being, you enter into a new world and you look at the same prior "realness" through a new shielded window.

    Perhaps its truly state modulated, the inability to recall the experience as automatically and fluidly as you remember encoding it, only patience does the recollection.

    So instead you look at the piece of work that you've done, be it visual or whatever, more through the lens of empathy as opposed to say well not even ozmosis depending on where you are.

    This lack of an artistic filter though, its vital in nurturing a natural state rather than rigidly defining how you ought to create art, through comparison there's synthesis and automatic reinvention. It's the repression of the catharsis that stifles your potential.

    Turn the doubt you have into art, turn any negative you have about yourself, into art, and it will become your positive from a more meaningful place than you ever intended for.

  21. Posted

    Here's 1 I did just now (re-uploaded - had to really take down the sound very sharp effect), visuals and sound self created, this one took less than 20 min (but 10 min for adjusting the sound volume ha, eventually I just decided that lower than normal was better)

    Remember, they're vents. Not masterpieces ;) . I like this regardless, it's turning out well. Lots of stuff I never articulate coming out. 

     

     

  24. Posted · Edited by Origins

    Replacing venting/related with art, the intersection between the freedom to feel and be unstifled while also disciplined but only purely towards the creative act of the artistic self expression itself.

    In personal growth we can easily have this inner battle between being stifled on the things that we wish to change ourselves with the disciplines we introduce versus feeling the freedom and progress we want to have in that endeavour. 

    Art to me is the epitome of allowing ourselves to vent, rant, related without having to worry about not making any progress because the application of our artistic intention from poetry to music to visual art, especially when its spontaneous, take those potentially frustrated inner energies and contents and puts them on a canvass in such a way that they're forced to evolve. They evolve through the cathartic act itself of self expression in the form of creation, which is really at the heart of any problems we have with not just saying whatever we want, when we want to however we feel to do so, its because it doesn't feel creative at the end, especially when we look back. We look at the energy we've expended and we ask ourselves what is it that has manifested as a consequence of me enduring the expression of my own pain, suffering or just any of the psychical elements we have within us from the neurotic and congested to the expansive fluid. And if there's the realisation that our expression has not resulted in some kind of progress for us, for all that we gave to it, we feel like we've short changed ourselves. 

    That's how I feel about my rants journal anyhow haha. It simply isn't creative enough, why exert that form of expression when I can feel the same kind of release through art and get double the payoff in the long run?

    Inevitably then, this is how this journal will be dedicated, venting that is art and art that encapsulates the rawest elements of my psyche however they are without prestence, without any motivation to be anything other than myself. It doesn't have to be amazing art, it just needs to be representative of the motivation to not repress and instead express through a medium of exchange with reality that results in a return on investment. 

    We're forever involved in this game of creation vs destruction with reality whether we wish to be or not, by identifying those areas of life that we don't have to think about which give us a creative return on investment, like not having to think when we're having a rant or vent, we can live in the comfort of knowing that what would otherwise be an action that negated our own existence is instead what provides us with insight that creates our higher future for us. Rather than say feeling drained by a past we just wished would leave us after our venting, venting through art forces the past to evolve through cathartic expression that we can self introspect on after we've shared the dreams that wished to surface in the conscious mind from the subconscious. 

    You can very much think of it in terms going to sleep at night, experiencing a dream, recalling it the next morning and then processing the experience. The dream in this sense is what you're venting about in conscious waking life through art, the art here being representative of what our subconscious is already doing through dream states that we later ponder about and seek the truth of. This endeavour is no different, you vent in the form of art it then becomes a dream to contemplate and learn from which invents the future dreams that you will pursue through that creative expression.

    Here's to not saying no to expression but instead saying yes to a truer form of expression that is at least getting us to a higher truth of the contents that wish to come out. Outside of this of course we have conversations with our friends, hitting walls, throwing pillows, contact sports to vent our frustrations, etc, etc, even therapy conversations, but if its continually cycling in our subconscious, those contents need to be transformed in some way, the contents need to become more creative because there isn't a natural release and relieved valve, in fact sometimes the more we do it the more worse it can become because it can feel like we're giving too much energy to that. This is where I came up with the idea of venting through art.

    So here I'll share poems that I later reflect and learn from as opposed to ventful writing, visual art that I reflect on as opposed to visualising images in my head and becoming attached to those images which make what I'd vent about likely worse. Etc, etc.

    I've learned that in order to have a good vent, first and foremost we have straightforward emotional intelligence strategies that can improve related brain regions with time, it requires a good process, especially if the thing isn't a simple "release and relieved" valve. I have plenty of things that are like that, and then with other things I don't, I find that the representations tend to maintain their objectification within the subconscious mind, where instead art forces consciousness to make those contents more fluid, to transform into an artistic representation which in turn changes the original representation to take in both the new creations you've formed, the re-representation plus any future insights you draw from those artistic images, sounds, words, etc. 

    Whether conscious or not this has traditionally been the role of art in general across cultures for millennia, its just lost its flavour there among the majority of the populace which is why for example you might say mental health is the largest problem its been across the planet especially in the USA since we first established civilisation and thinking about one another's and our own health in this regard became a thing. In the most totalitarian of countries, we have the least psychological growth but the least totalitarian country isn't going to create the most psychological growth either, its probably going to be a society that encourages the individual to turn their inner experience into as much creative expression as possible. War and social friction was much more likely in earlier periods of history and not just because survival was so much more at the heart of our experience, we also had far less space to turn mental contents into creative contents that encouraged us to reinvent our known world of frustrations.

    Our artistic endeavours in earlier periods literally became the artistic expression of a civilisation and so in turn created a large part of the culture of said society. Art was culture, culture was the art. It created social classes and through that various social reforms and corresponding norms which both segmented and brought together the fractions of a given society through stitching together the artistic fabric within a collective unconscious. Any one society, group, dynamic has a "collective unconscious" and its through art that we can unravel the hidden values, dreams, problems, etc of said relation and begin to transform the creative hidden into the visibly creative through artistic expression.

    My hypothesis is that this will not only improve emotional intelligence within me but also various forms of social and psychological intelligences. I predict a kind of brain protective plasticity to be furthered here as well. 

    I won't be taking any creations here as "the thing" just representative of what was occurring underneath as well as something to reflect and learn more insight from regarding understanding myself and the nature of the object created about the inner objects we have.

    Finally it's not music that's good when it comes to venting or perhaps any state of being, it's simply "music that hits the spot", "visuals that hit the spot", etc, etc relative to said rant, vent.

    Which is why simply creating the art yourself has the highest return on investment, this is how we created a culture, we shared inner expressions through the medium of art as a social currency that developed the individual and the whole together. 

    Instead of being a monetary or indoctrinating commodity or ever remotely conceiving that it may turn into such, art was purely used as a vehicle for transcendence itself via the transformative enterprise we saw it brought by releasing the minds unconscious energies through this medium of creative exchange with reality.

     

     

  25. Posted · Edited by Origins

    Just reminding myself of this journal.

    I've gotta make it a habit to read the best of my journal entries (ideally daily) so that the best content I produce remains fresh in my mind, including the way I think and feel about things so that I'm steering myself towards progression as much as possible and less and less away from older forms materialising in this flat-world existence. 

    This way new content has the highest chance of building on and extending older content as opposed to being beneath it to any capacity. It makes a lot of sense to have this as a goal. In that sense, this journal, albeit useful, needs redesigning relative to the philosophy I'm building.