Origins
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@martinka24241 I know what’s it’s like to be fearful avoidant, I’ve been working through all of my tendencies there as well. I’ve received a few romantic complaints in this regard in my lifetime so if we care about our partners or just the people we want to be intimate with we won’t be selfish and we’ll work through our styles there as well as be supportive of theirs where we can. It takes time, I’ve made a lot of progress but I still have some areas to work on.
Unless you want to learn pickup, it’s not really about taking massive action just putting yourself in the right place when you’re ready to be in a relationship. I date/related people at present but I’ve already made them fully aware that I’m just not ready for multiple reasons and they’ve respected this. Moreover if you are different from others you’ll have to respect the fact that you will indeed need to put yourself in a position where you’re more likely to attract someone similar to you. That’s just basic laws of physics there. Moreover you see the many guys here talking about pickup (not to degrade it), etc, most of them are not especially intelligently in the realm of women and relationships so I totally sympathise with your experience or future experience in the dating market. You’ll need to be savvy about the culture you’re a part of, the people within it and especially in a very personal and unique way the people you try to connect with. I’ve been out with some very impressive women but for me it’s not so much that the woman needs to be impressive it’s more about how many areas that we actually connect on a raw fucking intimate level, this is something most guys and people in general completely miss and are delusional about. Then you’ve got the issue of what happens after connection if for whatever reason there’s other externalities that corrupt the consistency of that, which is a nightmare and I understand if you’ve ever experienced that.
Furthermore, you’ve gotta chalk this up on your whiteboard about what you’re going to do intelligently. Who am I on a raw authentic level? What are some things within myself that hold me back on my authenticity, love and connection (I.e. attachment style)? What are the areas that are really important to me that I want to connect on with my potential partner? How can I screen out those people that don’t fit my criteria here and make space for those that do while simultaneously being self protective where it’s smart to do so? Remember because you’re truly seeking a relationship based on authentic connection, you’re going to have to screen a lot of men out that just either won’t make the cut on a true level if you examined them carefully or just aren’t up to scratch on their own authenticity and desire to connect. And the ones that are wishy washy with connection here and then withdrawing there, I’m sorry to say, for the both of us we’ve just got to learn to move on. Keep your dignity.
Best!
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@tatsumaru Purely an orderliness issue in the relationship between mental activity and physical activity overtime (mathematical ratio describes predictive performance outcomes and low outcomes predictive of issues with orderliness) which is of course resolved by simply practicing performing tasks for a certain allotted amount of time, ideally, the more complicated those tasks the better because it will force you to exercise regions of your mind involved in focus. All of this can be solved if you choose tasks that you either enjoy or that you've discerned are absolutely necessary to complete. Stamp it in the right place that you're not going to allow your mind in this sense to become lazy, but that you'll direct said energy in a healthy and most desirous way relative to the options afforded to you.
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To briefly further add to what I said:
16 minutes ago, Origins said:@nistake I don't really believe in "con (as in "to con")-fidence"
Do we look at any animal and say "they're confident"?
How about a planet?
How about a plant?
It's nonsense. Total rubbish.
You feel free. You feel the ability to move your body and your mind where you want to take it. This is merely the lack of unnecessary contraction. Belief is totally different to con-fidence, but often if we correct the belief that makes a person "appear" as more con-fident we say "this person is confidence". All we're doing is looking at an effect and looking at it as a cause. It's poor differentiation.
If you want "con-fidence", find your purist state of being, like how we need the purist kind of water to appreciate its richness we neither need to add anything to our flow in order to be "con-fident", it is the reduction of other elements in the water, not the inclusion. Inclusivity for directionality, not inclusivity in order to have the ability to take action. The latter is a compensatory action. Albeit necessary of course when we haven't learned to have the understanding to express this impression-less state, it is where you will need to go. Trust me. I'm God. That's what everyone's saying here after-all.
But seriously. It's no surprise that most of your body is composed of water that the very thing that makes it possible for us to take action, the ability for the being to express its natural state, something we've incorrectly framed as "con-fidence", is also best expressed when it is of its most pure essence.
Now go tell the planet to be more "con-fident" to fight global warming please. We think that the planet isn't conscious when we're conscious even though we sprung from the planet. What a joke. We miss the most obvious truths when we conform bitches.
What a simple truth for you to invest in regarding what I stated here just above that will clear all of your problems. It's purely the reduction of contraction. Contraction is a supplementary measure that is discerned through your own authority to serve your own ends. You don't have to contract at all if it doesn't follow your natural state of being. We've been taught to contract in so many ways. Contract only what's meaningful to you, truly, for everything else, let it flow, let yourself be and you'll be far greater than any con-fident youtube ad claiming to give you all the con-fidence you need. You will have to invest a lot though, necessary correction we have is ultimately extremely simple but our ability to change, hey look at the human race look at where we are we're so good at adapting to things we should do when we know its good for us its so good to see we change our transport, eating, social, marketing, financial systems, etc so rapidly to bring about the better world we know we can bring, is often not so great. You'll need to dig your foot in the ground, like really, grab a hammer and pin yourself to Jesus's cross here, give him a big spiritual smooch while you're at it, nothing more provocative than that though you hear he'll get nauseous!
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@nistake I don't really believe in "con (as in "to con")-fidence"
Do we look at any animal and say "they're confident"?
How about a planet?
How about a plant?
It's nonsense. Total rubbish.
You feel free. You feel the ability to move your body and your mind where you want to take it. This is merely the lack of unnecessary contraction. Belief is totally different to con-fidence, but often if we correct the belief that makes a person "appear" as more con-fident we say "this person is confidence". All we're doing is looking at an effect and looking at it as a cause. It's poor differentiation.
If you want "con-fidence", find your purist state of being, like how we need the purist kind of water to appreciate its richness we neither need to add anything to our flow in order to be "con-fident", it is the reduction of other elements in the water, not the inclusion. Inclusivity for directionality, not inclusivity in order to have the ability to take action. The latter is a compensatory action. Albeit necessary of course when we haven't learned to have the understanding to express this impression-less state, it is where you will need to go. Trust me. I'm God. That's what everyone's saying here after-all.
But seriously. It's no surprise that most of your body is composed of water that the very thing that makes it possible for us to take action, the ability for the being to express its natural state, something we've incorrectly framed as "con-fidence", is also best expressed when it is of its most pure essence.
Now go tell the planet to be more "con-fident" to fight global warming please. We think that the planet isn't conscious when we're conscious even though we sprung from the planet. What a joke. We miss the most obvious truths when we conform bitches.
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@lmfao People have a consciousness. You have a consciousness. Learn to understand resistance and you'll have your flow. For example I just recently did a self experiment with a 2 dollar coin where I test my automatic reactions in response to putting it in my mouth and swallowing it. Notice the thoughts and experiences you have in response to that, do you feel the resistance? This experience is analogous to the resistance that we go through for any experience, thus you know that resistance is not you.
I can smell your resistance like a K9 at a police airport sniffing for crack up some traffickers ass, notice it in yourself as well but most importantly make the fundamental difference between the awareness that is you and the resistance that you're experiencing. Feel it fully.
Now run a similar experiment with something that you would normally be resistant to that you will challenge in that moment like I did with the 2 dollar coin that I ended up putting in my mouth to win against the thoughts that said not to. This way you'll be able to understand resistance and how to overcome it in a real tangible sense, enabling you to avoid any unnecessary pain connected to misunderstanding and experiencing resistance. Resistance is there mostly as a conditioned, learned or overall survival response that sometimes follows with stronger emotions to maintain resistance. But if you understand at a raw level, similar to fear, you can overcome it with ease enabling you to achieve pretty much any of your goals relative the extent that resistance previously impeded your ability to do so.
You've gotta get in there. Be bold. By understanding resistance at this core level you'll give yourself far greater opportunities to be creative here. Let me know if you require any further elaboration through insightful questions.
There are things we ought to be (which means you can intelligently wire yourself here as well) resistant to and there are things we ought to not be, by understanding it both experientially and conceptually as well as how we can use awareness to become aware of, experience fully and through that transmute our state for any resistance we're experiencing on literally anything, we give ourselves the opportunity for far greater psychological health on whatever thing it is we're confronting.
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@goldpower123 There's a world that exists inside your mind, you call this reality. You call it truth and the value assignments you make in the context of growth you hierarchically assign as "true growth", the cost of which is simply the exclusion of all those tertiary and lesser elements that don't accord with that mental template. The only cost to true growth is the cost of not understanding what it is and doing it.
I want to genuinely take over the world, and I genuinely have the ability to do so because people like yourself won't commit to understanding what true growth is and following that ethos that lands them in that position. What are you going to do once I've cornered people like yourself and built a prison that you're not even aware enough you've bought into because you've followed the herd as to what's true and false? Are you just going to kindly walk into the cage I've built for you or are you going to see the masterplan I've built for what it really is and begin to defend yourself?
I will make great playpens for you don't worry. Just let me do the work. Sit back, relax and wait for the full inception to take place.
Most people on this site will never realise their true potential let alone begin to properly start on that adventure. Will you be one of those people?
Either way it'll be okay. Remember, the prison I'll build will be a fun rat playhouse for you to have endless entertainment in you won't even realise is a prison.
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"If @Origins is planning on taking over the world that means that there is a new world order, just not the one I was expecting".
Yes of course there is, with or without me. Should be obvious if I'm just totally and up front and honest about my intentions that there would be plenty that are just not up front and honest about their intentions. I've thus far given my fellow species too much credit, overestimated their capabilities. Now it's time to simply work to take matters into my own hands.
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The title... it’s out in the open now. Got nothing to hide. Can’t keep it in any longer.
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I’m on iPad at the moment so I’m limited. And I know I said I wasn’t doing more than stated journaling but this seems like a pretty good addition.
Openness is probably my greatest strength, a weapon to wield against a failing society and a mediocre philosophy on life against the billions of dredging souls trying to make what little sense they can of what would otherwise mostly remain an incomplete ephemeral picture of life that sits just in front of their eyes but like Harry Potters snitch zags away from them in a less than a glance and in Lethal Weapons sequel only makes its way only down Mel Gibsons alcoholic throat while having a few laughs on a boat. So on my evil rise to enslave the rest of humanity to my will... Okay I just kid (at least I’ll try to make it appear that way).
I see all kinds of journals, I’ve seen all kinds of suggestions on the web about the benefits of particular kinds of journaling one can do but I’ve never, for whatever reason in light of the fact it’s the tits of the problem of the human race, breast feeding stupidity from racism to Mt Kilimanjaro of police brutality, misplaced political activism, anti-disclosure governmental and cultural projects to just plain never picking up the “book of life” (the philosophy section, which means “to philosophise” not to just “digest and repeat) on a bookshelf even though it could save you years of wasted time.
So here I am, spastic with neurons smashed up against an artists canvas filled with creativity spewing out of a madman’s double revolver in a bitch bar fight over a woman worth it let’s take 10 steps forward back to back and see who’s got the fastest gun in the West, or should I say, the Cowboy universe seeing this is a journal on Openness.
How can I be more open minded?
But more importantly, how can I be more open minded in the way that I ought to be open minded? Which seems like a far more interesting question.And what would I be more open minded about?
This is to extreme openness, that which I already have but how far can I extend it? That seems like a worthy Tour De ?? France and I don’t even need any steroids to win it Neil Armstrong, just the Will to direct my focus in the direction of this t-Rex to bite a little harder down on the Titanic that doesn’t want to float philosophy to the finish line of that “book of life” that we as a human race are part of the endeavour of exploring its ending to the end of our extinction. Recent Newline reads: “Humans and all of life extinct in 1 billion years on earth due to oxygen shortage”. Really. This is the world of openness, where you enjoy comic claims rather than social gossip even if they miss striking the cue ball of reason cleanly enough to say something completely true, true enough though to get your attention.
This is the world we live in in 2021. This is our book of life to complete together with the most amount of intelligent openness (not ball busting dribble that puts you on a cloud while you get your stuff stolen by the Reptilians from Arch Angel orbital Arch Ziegfeld of space - Mr Icke, yea David and Alex Jones don’t worry I’m not calling you out here, I’m just saying your names) we can generate from our Tesla death rays of imagination and sensitivity to the rawness of life, thank you Romeo and Juliet.
Now let’s see what I can do on autopilot without the iPad. Stay tuned philosophical crooners .
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@Zion But for me, at the core level Zion just to simplify my answer in a nutshell.
I’d put arrogance down to a lack of openness.This means that arrogance is a biological then and only then a psychological compensatory state.
Thats my rule of thumb outside the above picture, in this sense you’ll be able to more easily empathise with people exhibiting it rather than generate a defensive also compensatory state in response.
In the way that I’ve described in this comment rather than the one above, extreme openness is the antidote to both arrogance and responding to perceived arrogance combined with a perception towards adaptation and extension of the development of being.
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@Zion it’s nuanced. Intersectional to say the least. Firstly we’d need to discriminate between consistent versus irregular disposition versus situational. To the former we can expect the simultaneous appearance of other traits:
- lower than average agreeableness (HEXACO)
- higher than average scores on the dark triad
- higher than average scores on narcissism (not on all indicators)
- has probably not progressed too much further than the Conscientious stage of Loevinger’s stage of ego development
- higher than average testosterone levels, though testosterone would not be a sole contributor rather a facilitator
- lower than average empathy, both cognitive and affective, however this manifests in different ways here
In the case of it being an irregular disposition it could actually be a useful compensatory survival strategy in times of either social integration to psychological integration. Happy to elaborate further.
Lastly, I would connect arrogance to morals as the outcome of needing to be right just as much as someone would feel that need in areas where morals mattered less, such in the case of a football match. Moreover, righteous indignation needs to be discriminated from arrogance just as anger, confidence, pride and passion also need to be discriminated from arrogance. So it’s important not to confuse cause and effect here, morals doesn’t follow arrogance just as arrogance doesn’t follow morals, however arrogance can create the overly overt sense that one can determine all morality for him or her self and then implement on other people irrespective of their understandings of their morality: arrogance in this sense is simply “I am right and you are wrong”. Instead there’s likely a few other variables present that create the arrogance in the context of morals, like disagreeableness combined with disgust sensitivity. Disgust sensitivity is merely an outgrowth that leads to a kind of morality though rather than to or from arrogance.
Further, in all matters of competition, things that look like arrogance tend to be higher than average compared to those aspects of the psyche which do not. Who do we usually associate more with being arrogant, male or females? Males, but is this because males are usually more overt about it than females because of their higher dominance to submissiveness ratio? I would say that this is likely while still men having higher than average levels simply because they have more of the traits above that are more often than not correlated with arrogance.
Lastly there are different qualities of arrogance, we have arrogance to do with personality disposition, ego development (as I mentioned above) and biological markers that contribute to such. Children tend to be far more arrogant than adults for example but an adult as noted may need to be “arrogant” as a part of certain psychological integration phases as a necessary and even positive compensatory strategy.
In the case of it being related to a psychological integration phase I would advise that someone combine it with prudence at least sometimes. Humility, it’s opposite, isn’t necessarily more virtuous, it is merely down to the adaptability of said arrogance. Even if it is advantageous in one context it may not be in another; the long term view is what we’re looking at here rather than a black and white determination as to what is happening.
In short morals can create humility just as they can create arrogance (what matters more is the kind of morals along with other personality, cognitive and biological variables). But what is more virtuous? Look at the long term and the other situational variables, not just the immediate context.
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@Rilles memory training. 1 hour a day. It’s not just memory you’ll be training attention and focus as well which are vital to memory. All these are connected.
Study a memory champions book let me know if you need a recommendation.
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@Manusia All good. To me its correlated with intelligence, sentimentality, creativity, wisdom and attachment style. The "less" you are here you're just straight up going to find it easier to take up that suggestion to get banged by the unknown person at the bed and breakfast right on your honeymoon or on your 20th anniversary. I'm working on my attachment style. It's fucking difficult, like seriously it causes me a lot of issues but I do have someone special in my life right now under complex circumstances that at least gives me a lot of room to work on it.
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@kras It's just a feedback loop between the parts of your mind that have a self-serving identity which meets chaos in the context of rejection.
Reality is telling you to adjust your perceived identity, I'd also recommend just letting go of identity altogether and coming to understand who you are fundamentally rather than merely theoretically. And that's all you've done overtime unconsciously, generated a theory about who you are based on social mirroring which you've chemically attached to.
So its naturally a chemical detachment process combined with the reassignment of reality based judgements that fall outside the social context. This will take time, but much less time if you just remove yourself socially for a dedicated period of time each day, focus down on what you truly are and allow the natural process of attachment to occur as a consequence of the positive reinforcement you'll be doing towards those reality based judgements.
"Reality based judgements" means we of course need to have an understanding of what reality is, which to you, on a personal level, is purely what you perceive as real from a raw not theoretical level. In the context of self I have some colourful yet helpful guidelines I shared here today:
Best
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I shouldn't have drank coffee today. Bad idea. I stopped. Have felt way better since.
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Just narrow down the difficulties emotionally, psychologically and cognitively. Work on what weaknesses you realise remain. Yes you can improve all aspects overtime. Think laterally to solve your problems. All problems can be solved.
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@Eren Eeager and I hope we can agree, let’s both just say no to drugs in general right? Cool. Never done anything (nor hookers) other than some marijuana where I was the only one not affected by it, got bored like a guy with one too many hookers and didn’t bother with it anymore. Best
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@Eren Eeager I have sometimes excessive dopamine production which when combined with other aspects of how my brain works at the moment produces paranoid thinking. I’m much more self aware than I used to be about it but it’s taught me to take a much different view of myself, my experience and how changes in chemical brain stages / analogous can lead to thinking that takes us away from being. A friend of mine years ago introduced me to Eckart Tolle during one of my emotional difficulties which was indirectly related but it’s only been really recently where I’ve been able to gather a true holistic and unconscious understanding of being to the point of maintaining that I make this my primary focus in my development. To parallel your experience, from paranoia to emotional difficulties (broad way of saying I know) to depression the best way to healing is through YOU, not your identity but the awareness you have and making sure you concentrate on the purist resonance of your inner being as you can so overtime you can not only develop a more impartial perception of the thoughts/related and even emotions/related that are generated from the body-mind mechanism but also learn techniques that overtime will teach you, from that place of being, to incrementally become better at both cleaning out your emotional and mental system and augmenting it. I hope this little personal experience sheds some light for you.
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@Hanna Luna why don’t you share what ideas you have so far? Not fooling me at all I know you have them already in your head so what are you doing so we know how to contribute? Great post.
Being over reality is a very important insight otherwise, as being determines our ability to perceive reality clearly and produce from our most creative states.
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@Ghartok Padhome Bad internet connection watch from 30 minute mark you’ll spot a similar red headed daffodil that goes on to describe the method I’d further discuss if I felt so inclined (I don’t at the moment but if you ask a good question that challenges my intelligence I just may).
Do it. Don’t screw around. This will work.
Intelligently supplement like a dog prepping for a beauty contest that balances a tennis ball on his nose as well as laps around the track bare footed.
All actors of any kind, anyone who has any intelligence over how they want to use their emotional bandwidth should be doin something similar.
Redesign My Brain - Mind over Matter (Episode 3 of 3)
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@Ghartok Padhome no problems mate give me a moment I recall the perfect thing for you to practice daily
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@Zion social media provides a recursive improvement feedback loop within culture towards the memetic values harboured by the corresponding culture. So it’s not only positive it’s absolutely vital. Just goes to show the kinda of values we have that we would degrade it’s use and development in such a deplorable way. Zuckerberg has thousands to potentially millions of dead bodies crawling out of his wide open mouth of ulterior motivated monopolistic cock sucking. It’s also the consequence of the time we are in history, for example if the internet coincided with social media we would have created far more intelligent means of disseminating social information. This is a subject that concerns the time gap between technologies and their adoption by a demographic and species overall. Social communication within the military in times of war is extremely useful, outside of urgency the primacy of information decreases rapidly depending on what values said social unit is resting on, of course, Ashkanazi Jews and many other demographics utilisation of social technologies is far superior to that of the general western population. Zuckerberg is the poster child of a memetic winner in this sense, he is both a victim of the values that his users rest on and a perpetrator of the proliferation of the virus that is social media consumption in a failing social economy. Bottom up developments of communities say in Canada will be examples in the future of how social media usage can be used for good, look up “Future Thinkers Smart Village a Holistic Vision”, I haven’t at all delved into it but I can easily extrapolate on its ramifications, I also highly doubt social media has been properly brought up but it would be an intelligent adaptation in the context of more rapidly spreading cultural values within a system just as Hitler did so for less than saintly purposes between 1939 and 1945. Yes, Zuckerberg is Hitler, just with a few slight inversions on purpose and outcomes but with the same amount of if not worse level of damage to the social evolution of the human species.
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@Dunnel daily gratitude journal.
Good to see you’re still here by the way
! Feel free to message me for advice or just for a chat whenever you like mate!
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@Visionno one send me private messages requesting help unless I say it’s okay to do so via comments. Vision I’d like you to meet @Nahm I’m sure he’d know plenty more about emotional intelligence than I, firstly I’d like to say, Nahm thank you for all your contributions to this forum you make a pivotal difference on the dynamics here, secondly, Vision if you’re more polite and courteous than myself I’m sure Nahm would be delighted to help you on the subject. Best of luck and thank you again Nahm
in Personal Development -- [Main]
Posted · Edited by Origins
@Rick1 the balance between the present moment and time. Lastly, love.
Most people merely dream of the future rather than focus on creating it.
Most people are anxious of the past and fearful of the future so they cling to the present.
You have to unify yourself with time, not be a coward and shy away from it. The people you love, even quite dearly, sure let them shy away, but you be the brave one to make something of the past and work to creating something worthy of your close attention in and for the future.
Time is an illusion but so is the statement, get practical but be idealistic relative to your capabilities.
If you don’t create a future that’s worthy of living in then who the hell is?
We need visionaries and those visionaries have to learn to integrate their psychology enough to be supportive of those that aren’t as much inclined for a myriad of reasons, sometimes due to their past pain. They have to remember their past pain they say to themselves, and you have to respect that if that’s to the limits of their ability or the limits they choose not to question and supersede.
Look at all these people on this site, what is their biggest struggle do you think?
With all the topics here, it’s not spirituality, it’s not romance, it’s not politics, it’s time.
Time with respect to trauma, time with respect organisation, time with respect to actualising a vision with and for the future.
Love as deeply as possible, even those that are afraid to have the same depth of love. But you have to remember that love is not the answer, it is a very important part of the answer because you will find that especially the expression of love needs to be done with nuanced elegance relative to the uniqueness of the person, though you can keep your heart as vibrant as you want there. I call this having an armoured heart with intelligence, with the latter reflecting the degree and way in which you take off that armour when it’s right to do so (though sometimes I just have a very reckless bold approach because I have a very passionate personality). You must love and be a visionary by bringing a better future that otherwise would not have been created if you chose to have such a relaxed relationship with time and harvested an impoverished economy with dreams in the context of reality.
If not before you’ll now see that time is not just a roll of toilet paper we can roll out and then at the end of it that’s that, our relative perception and creation of the dimensions that generate our cognition of it are vital for our growth, expansion and survival. From dreams of past lives to creating dreams of the future, from maintaining love to creating intelligent designs that take it to higher levels in the future, from encoding our lessons learned to healing from our experiences endured, time is the tattoo that will not go away. So we best make friends with it, and we best learn to love those within our reference frame there the best we can learn how to. Even if it hurts. Because even if they say they don’t need us, they probably do, especially if you’re a visionary which I hope you are or learn to become.
So a habit or habits? Well it’s obvious right. I won’t say. I’ll let you be the visionary based on my words here.