Origins

Scenario 3 is statistically the most common, sorry man. If she's into you something would have happened because in the wild thousands of years ago we didn't have that time to screw around. If you've given a clear open signal and she's ignored when the plain was open for her, you most likely got rejected. The brain creates phantoms to chase as, when at least one reason, a coping mechanism for the unknown we can't yet explain until we can. It's the same reason people become conspiracy theorists, you're doing the same kind of conspiratizing as they. You're not alone in the world though, this happens probably a thousand times a second all over the world because of how much sex/love/attachment is tied into our DNA. Integrate your inner life and your outer life will become a boundaried one, don't integrate your inner life and your outer life will be much more easily taken for granted.

You can't type a word on this forum without several hundred beliefs intersecting to the point that leads you to type the words you did. That's something to unravel for you there. Looking forward to your exposé on belief, give it a great title and go a little overboard, maybe something like: "Belief, how these webs tie our minds inside out and why we only believe the world to exist".

@VeganAwake If nothing needs to be done none of us need to comment. Nothing is free, freedom is a feeling. We're all bound up in prisons that are important for us to have in order to feel any freedom that we experience. A skull is a prison to the brain, skin is a prison to the bones but these are good kinds of prisons because in their protection they allow for a sustained freedom, we also don't have freedom of thought when our brain controls the degree of thought, but by degree we have felt freedom inside those constraints. We experience life analogous to a first person character game, no character has freedom beyond the limits imposed on him/her/it.

So for me, I'd totally remove the word consciousness and just have intelligence there. The whole thing is total hogwash to me. It's created a ruinous (very unhealthy) culture. Thus from now on that's how I'll be personally conceptualising myself, we're just a system of intelligence wrapped up in various structures that enable that intelligence to unfold, much like pollen in a flower and what it smells like. We're only ever conscious of something relative to already expressed parameters that we've already given a name to, we've called it intelligence. To be conscious of something is to be cognisant. Intelligence gives us a place to go, a proper utility, its the recognition of us as a continuous feedback loop as opposed to consciousness which somehow assumes a stationary place in a continuous dynamic loop. Intelligence has many things to it, social, emotional, pattern based, and more, along with many overlaps with processing speed and more. We're giving a name to a thing that already has a name, worse than that, we're describing it in such a way that lends to meanings that have no value in the real world, for it to have real value in the real world it would have to have applicability to a tangible measure. It doesn't even have real value to the mental world because its less descriptive and has less meaning to being just the subsidiary (it comes after some aspects of intelligence) and preliminary (it comes before some aspects of intelligence) components to intelligence. We all have a unique responsibility when it comes clearing up not just the trash around the environment but the trash around our use of words and their meanings. It becomes a huge problem of course when we've created a culture about nothing because then there's still all those people that will continue that bandwagon effect, like trying to get people to buy electric vehicles as opposed to those that run on gasoline, its a nightmare trying to get people to wakeup haha.

There's too many assumptions embedded in the notion of "to be conscious of", we have no reference frame for comparing this and because most researchers and intellectuals that talk about it never consider adding in contrast to their perception of consciousness they turn consciousness into way more than a big deal than it likely really is. This then creates a whole culture about "consciousness" and "higher consciousness" and so on when in reality most of these people have literally no idea what they're talking about, it just feels good to them to feel like they do and they justify it with the contrast embedded in their social reference frame where they compare their actions relative to their consciousness with the rest of the social environment and how it seems other people experience and interact with their consciousness. The whole culture of consciousness is wrought with delusion. My interpretations change depending on the context of my use of the word but in the practical sense, consciousness has no words, it's just an action. Give it words and you've lost consciousness. The thing you're conscious of is the bias that you're conscious, its simply like blood flow around the body, from afar Earth has created beings who self-referentially refer to themselves through their reward centre when their intelligence perceives an object. That's not consciousness, that's mis-wiring. To be conscious, we must somehow be separate to the thing that enables us to be conscious (not possible), otherwise we're simply the thing that enabled us to be conscious, thus we're a byproduct of a byproduct that produces byproducts. To be "conscious" then is just like an airport waiting for passengers/thoughts/feelings to take them somewhere just as an inner/outer action does. That "conscious" aspect is just us as an airport, and an airport is merely an action that facilitates actions in transition from the highest intersection, which in our case is the world adjacent within us where actions can be either expressed/suppressed inwardly/outwardly.

This is merely a cultural approximation (which would be of 2020 in your case of course). Determine the demographic and go from there, this is what scientists do before they label a sample within a microscope slide X or Y, they study it, if you're failing to adapt when you know its not a good learning strategy to be communicating in the way you're communicating to the length and qualities of the conversation then this is also an emotional intelligence project for yourself. It seems as though you're aware it's a social problem, so the issue isn't social intelligence it only seems like that because you're not tuning in with your emotions enough that you're grounded to what's happening. Back to the original demonstration, if you went back to the 1800's you wouldn't be talking about neuralace, if you went to a tribal village of todays times that's never even heard of the western world you wouldn't be trying to speak in English. It's all about making correct social distinctions and in your case also making good emotional distinctions within yourself to get to core beliefs and understandings about yourself that may need amending, healing, etc. Leo has a good video on making distinctions, after you learn that then its further progressing yourself in understanding social patterns better, so on and so fourth.

For me an even better game is Universe Synonymous. That way I get a much more multi-layered picture going, this takes so much more nuance though because you need to take into consideration how your behaviours originated from collectively a historical, cultural, evolutionary, childhood rearing and general social context, just to name a few. Life synonymous, where you're more self centric, is still going to be useful, its just a more micro picture of things, which for me would be a subset of Universe Synonymous. In Universe Synonymous its much easier for me to see not only how I relate to my own behaviours, my environment, goals, purpose but all of life around the entire planet, its sea of both knowledge, change and digression. There's also a chance to spot not only healthy vs toxic behaviours from an individual to collective sense but from a collective sense in general and the role that I play there (thus collective to individual), moreover, the permanent realisation that among many other forms, this is actually just the behaviour of Earth. This is what is totally under-represented and what I've never heard anyone speak about, everything that happens on Earth is just the behaviour of Earth if its true that all of life on Earth originated form Earth, rather than say it being the behaviour of any individual, then from there its the behaviour of our solar system and so on and so fourth. We act with higher character in the micro relative to best learning but we develop the best kind of learning from the highest perspectives, or just the ones we're ready for.

How to identify toxic values? A good way is a simple thought experiment that could be termed something like the "Right World Simulation". Assuming you're aiming to create the right world relative to your own subjective experience of it, one thing you can do is imagine plugging all your present behaviours into a character within a video game called Life Synonymous (i.e. The Sims) which is isomorphic to the conditions present and who's character looks exactly like you and is responsible for all the things you're responsible for along with the same desires, etc all the behaviours. Now imagine this game in your mind as a simulation and observe all the things you now do as this character. Assuming the character is behaving as you would or might likely (which could be a number of possible behaviours) observe all of the things your character does "right/healthy" and all the things it does "toxic/unhealthy". With you now in the position of architect instead of just the mere subjective experience of being you, play your role as the architect by brainstorming down all these things into separate columns or even from a mind-mapping point of view, whatever best serves the best way you learn. The second aspect involves contemplating all of these toxic and healthy behaviours and thinking up ways in which you could move away from the toxic and transition into the more healthy and even thinking about how you could condense the healthy enough that you may even imagine a higher level for yourself to move towards through a process of recombination. This second aspect is really important when it comes to utilising your brain to take the next step in creativity and consolidation, the latter being the recoding of memories that result from the learning you've now undergone by doing this exercise. This whole process is analogous to the mouse learning the maze as noted above, in the mouses case its brain is learning via trial and error and updating its map as it goes along, you're doing exactly the same thing just at a higher level of abstraction and subtlety as well as your movement being more the traversing and learning--->adaptation of an inward maze and the mouse an outward maze.

Values these days are becoming insecurities - 100% RESPONSIBILITY! I mean whenever someone can't align with reality, especially in relation to a core value we have to take a step back and just observe ourselves from third person a bit. Firstly, you can really only apply that to yourself, secondly its more a goal than a value, aiming to just be as responsible as possible. Sometimes, at least in this case, I recommend taking a step back from culture and observing it from a distance before you let it infect your mind. Leo fell for this value to feed to this audience as well, for me what's going to be better for you long term is just trying to be as accurate a possible in relation to your values. Reality values accuracy. Was I meant to give him $5 back or $10 back? That becomes an even bigger deal the more 0's we add to that, "oh well I'll just take responsibility no matter what". Aim to just be as responsible as you can, that'll be enough, and accuracy is all you can do to aid the situation there, no point beating yourself up if you tried your best, all you can do now is be responsible when it comes to learning from the experience, which means only doing what's necessary there, learning from the situation doesn't at all have to involve criticising yourself. Let's say a mouse is learning the route to a maze that at the end takes him to a piece of cheese, the goal, every time he criticises himself he releases stress hormones, every time he's just prudently reflecting on the paths he took as best as he could to ensure he doesn't go down the wrong area and he just trusts his learning process, he releases more positive chemicals. We've got so many subtle, subtle things wrong when it comes to our values in culture, so striving for accuracy, only to the best of your ability, will provide you with unique values that separate you from the sheep beating themselves up half way through the maze. See the cultural maze from above wherever possible. It's difficult, our bodies take the longest to become enlightened, for example, I had a stress response today in relation to my father asking for help because we always get into arguments and I even gave him money last time to sort out the problem himself but he decided to ask me at a time in which he had a close friend with him thinking in the back of his mind he could leverage that against me on the same situation I gave him money for a few weeks ago. It didn't work, but I still internally went through the feelings of anger and more. I can't be 100% responsible in this situation, if I was I'd never have the feelings, but I can aim to be as 100% responsible as I can and that will improve my brains learning in relation to my feelings. Which means effectively processing what comes up not rejecting anything. My emotions are informing me that a personal boundary is potentially being violated, so they're doing the right thing in a lot of ways actually, while at the same time I still need to ensure that I effectively process the emotions and the situation to ensure minimal damage in the situation. And I did that. Now I move on, reflect on the situation more to encode new memories regarding the situation and when it comes up again my brain will travel down that maze a little more effectively. That's true responsibility on my end, and that's all I can do, I can't control what my father will do, what his friend will do or what problems come up in my fathers life nor always be sure as to whether or not that mode of action is always going to be the best, you have to just be adaptable to the circumstances as they arise. This is where adaptability conflicts and merges with personal values at the same time, the mediator here is responsibility and its utility is accuracy (100% responsibility and the like, honestly, that's if you're a sheep/insecure - its only a good starting position if any other starting position you have is bad). What is a value? A value is simply the relationship between emotional and cognitive content designed to instruct meaningful action in the world relative to ones understanding, ideally ones highest understanding. That should be how you approach this.

If you: 1. Isolate the key areas of potential human change concerning human existence 2. Focus on adding and subtracting your actions accordingly, where you add time and energy to those key areas and reduce time energy away from those areas that don't facilitate 3. Focus on understanding reality at the core level as much as possible combined with building models on the main areas 4. Remove all brainwashing, trauma, etc and restore yourself to an equilibrium of being 5. Only interact with existence in a way that is designed to improve your intelligence, whether bodily intelligence, emotional intelligence and cognitive intelligence (and whatever else is particularly relevant) You won't find it difficult to keep track of events moreover, you'll always be spotting new patterns in existence to add to your models of what's happening You just need the right big picture formula, and I've partially provided it the rest you can improve yourself as needed The problem is not that the world is speeding up beyond our capabilities of prediction, it's more that it has speed up beyond our current ways of conceiving of the world. People who are good at big picture thinking, model building, habit breaking and building, removing limiting beliefs, take a long term approach will have an inordinately greater advantage than those persons that are not aware of the potential doors they could open to help them adapt in the ways they need to adapt. Don't believe the mainstream, culture is a Trojan horse, it speaks to the average person. There's no need to be average in the modern world, yes we're all "average" relative to the larger cosmos I just mean with all the tools that are available to us to learn about and take action in this existence in a manner in which best serves our development. Speed is relative. If you're on a stallion you've tamed (i.e. with the right mindsets like the above) speeding around a race track its moving much slower compared to if you're just sitting down not expecting the horse to run right past you. Even slower when you take a zoomed out look at the race around the track. But if people are watching the wrong race or the jockey is wearing the wrong saddle and has learned the wrong techniques to ride the horse, well that's when the world is doing things we're not expecting. Rise this horse of change into the future with insightful eyes, don't believe the lies. Don't believe anything, integrate everything.

And with the numbers jumbled, I guess I'm still sleep deprived haha. I'm sure everyone can figure it out. I'll leave it for humour.

When you hit a new level in these stages, it requires you to redefine your actions in life and what you're creating in the world. I've now just recently for example integrated at the beginning stages of transcendence, have been moving back and fourth there for a bit over a month, and now I'm going through the process of furthering that integration by sewing up the prior stages as well. At every level it requires deep contemplation about where you are, so that you can integrate the lower stages to sew up the quilt of consciousness to prepare for the next stage. You'll be surprised just how much healing your emotional body will help you release all those identifications you have with the cultural images that have been planted in your mind to move you up the scale more deeply. You have enormous potential that won't be realised by your consciousness until it integrates and releases those bottled up energies, anyone on this forum capable of constructing a paragraph is capable of doing so. It can be intensive and you'll need balance there it won't happen all it once but you'll have sparks, in the end if you're consistent you will make it through when you're ready to and as you're ready to. Healing your relationships with the social world, developing your introspective capabilities and emotional intelligence there I feel is a major gateway for your personal development journey to growing your experience on this plane.

Life kind of goes something like this in the following order relative to how we perceive and interact with it in terms of the levels we can reach: 1. Physical (so be grounded - and which in the context of the beginning of relationships means biological) 2. Cultural/Sociological 3. Value Driven from a personal level 5. The Creative 4. Existenital 5. Consciousness based 6. The Transcendent Notice at all 6 levels relationships still can occur, but it starts with the biological. It's because is the lowest level, its the foundation of the relationship, if a guy were a cat or the woman no guy/woman would likely be fucking them because it doesn't pass the biological test. But it does on another kind of emotional level of course, as a pet. But they'll never get to the existential end with the cat, perhaps the creative at a very primitive end and thus the value and cultural level but again at a very low level. And for the other levels not likely but you'll never really know. This is a good rule of thumb to follow for human relationships. If you can't get past cultural differences, you'll never likely get past value differences, if you can't get past value differences it'll be hard to reach the creative stage, if you can't get to the creative stage it'll be hard to get to the existential stage or just be weak, though given there's less cognitive requirements for consciousness and transcendence, you'll have a higher chance on a general level to reach those levels with all people if you're able to bypass the physical, cultural, value, creative and existential barriers. Likely not on an individual level though, mostly collectivism allows people to bypass the first 4 to get at 5 and 6. Still, you'll never be really close with someone if you can't properly transition from stages 1-4 if you've personally stretched yourself in those levels and they haven't or they have but there's a lack of alignment which *can't be bridged with higher intelligence/creativity (5).

This emotional healing stuff sounds like a great idea man, I'd be focusing on that. Set at least a 10 min morning and night goal where you're just listening to something soothing while taking deep breaths in and out feeling and releasing emotions as deeply as possible within and from the body. Release the mind during this activity and just become grounded in the action, it'll create a difference. I'll send you money if you it doesn't work.

To add to my previous comment: You want to be brutally honest, but brutally boundaried. Translation = Don't share anything that screws up with the biological game, while only saying things that are truly authentic. That's the balance you want in the beginning if you want purity.

You have to get the first premise right: It's a biological game (love comes second/last if any stage not first). Do you really think you'd lead with being an emotional wet rag with that premise? Sorry man, this'll be a tough blow to you. All the best.

@vizual Depends what culture the imaginative version of myself is from. Did you know that in some cultures a mans masculinity is measured by how many children he has and that polyamory for men not females is a cultural norm for some geographies because of the shortage of men? True, true. Most people are stuck in the primordial soup of what they're culturally conditioned by. Study the entire world (& universe), build your own models be as accurate as possible. Sex is a low consciousness biological game being played with very basic primitive rules that culture has deluded it's slaves into thinking are complicated and mysterious. Play the game, but play it to a higher standard compared to everyone else, be a scientist and an artist not stuck in the soup like a dupe.

And with the initial experiments mentioned, I recommend really imagining that you're in a relationship with the related people as well, just to observe yourself overtime unconsciously produce the experience of love. The more imaginative you are the more life like it'll feel and the more the spell will be broken and healed at the same time. But you've gotta be well developed, self-aware, etc. Please don't start stalking the YT's after you fall in love after imagining being in relationship with them repeatedly haha.

People get that really wrong, they don't realise that the balance is in the middle. Be as questioning as possible, run as many ethical experiments as possible while at the same time embracing the holism as it naturally stands during and after the experiments. Like if you think you're head over heels for someone, find several people that you find really handsome/beautiful on YouTube and just watch a lot of their videos for the next week to two weeks combined with meeting other new people. I reckon people have to reach the point where they realise than it eventually has to do with CHOOSING to be with someone that it really has anything to do with true love, meaning you CHOOSE your true love among other all the other true love you could have if you really did your experiments right and you do so after carefully evaluated reasons. That's something that can be respected more, though everyone has their capacities for stress testing their, I mean I don't want to be with someone that either wouldn't want me to do that, and maybe even hasn't done that. I don't want someone to naively do the whole "true love" towards me, that's dangerous as I said especially when you're dealing with the big city. I want them to do so because they choose to in the context of having and pursuing other options for stress testing or that naivety has proved itself to be squashed by how self aware and questioning we both are about how we view the relationship. And for me, I want to be in a relationship in which we've discussed things so much that cultural ideas like cheating becomes a complete non issue, for example if they really want to fuck someone else, go do it but be open about why you're doing it, existentially and otherwise, which is why I wouldn't waste my time being intimate with someone that wasn't highly developed. Experimentally, not that I would do this but in the scenario that it occurred I'd want them to be able to have the emotional stability to allow me to just again, as an experiment, have sex with someone else without them worrying about me falling in love with someone else at the exclusion of the relationship. The way most people think about most subjects is wrapped up in the primordial soup of culture, its totally un-thought about properly, poorly modelled, unsynthesised, processed emotionally that you're just getting a large sand bag with a hole at the bottom that you have to carry several kilometres all the way home to get anywhere on a subject with someone and before you know it when you've arrived at your front door there's no sand in the bag and it was all for nothing. Move up the spiral, move up the spiral. Enhance the perception of the subject, enhance the perception of the subject. Avoid the cultural norms at all costs, the only Christmas gifts you'll unwrap with every year spent taking in and believing culture is an unconscious future nightmare that you oughta just break a part and put back together again as soon as possible in a cool way only speaking about it with those that have the conversational strength to do so.

& *question (as opposed to embrace or --- accept both questioning and embracing), so the yin/yang there. Mucked that up.

Stereotypically, in the modern world I'd predict higher stage relationships are the best prediction for a stable relationship (when compared to social norms that are actively ruining relationships like pickup culture, tinder apps, porn, etc), but they're naturally more rare. There's other forms that predict stability of course but that'd be my best bet as it predicts many other valuable things as well. We gotta remember that relationship trends have and always will be on a developmental trend as well, some demographics will have decreased contact others more contact in the context of producing a sustainable relationship. A successful relationship today will be underpinned by different dynamics tomorrow (10, 20, etc years from now). So the "Higher Spiral Dynamic (SD)" stage prediction is actually a future forecast I'm making, its a novelty that is growing in culture as people learn to grow their awareness in unique ways, learning to become more balanced back to earlier periods of history (concerning how best relationships worked) while pairing themselves with the modern world. That's a higher intelligence relationship though. And again, just one form of potential stability, but just the horse I'm betting on as a future new trend, and those persons don't necessarily have to know anything about SD.

@Leo Gura People don't realise as well that true love has no evolutionary context, we forget that the average age of death used to once upon a time no greater than about 30 years. That means we had a life of "be grateful for what you have", with only the women and men that made it to that age which was very few. The feeling true love exists though, it created a bonding context in order for that love to survive environmental pressures and of course the more obvious one, for raising children. This is, among many other reasons like unemotionally balanced, unhealed trauma, lower intelligence (although not always) why cheating is more common in the modern world, especially when status becomes a feature in the context of always being surrounded by many other people, people don't understand various frames in which true love came into existence. I have "true love" for a certain person at the moment because you're right, my biology sees value and it believes its still in tribal times where there's nothing that compares, and that maybe its asking for me to "go out and look for her in the wilderness until I find her otherwise she might die" or something who knows, that I'm meant to impregnate her before some other guy, or something like that. These understandings and feelings are difficult for people to both accept and embrace but that just showed the positive influence it had on the development of the species in earlier times, moreover, in the modern world, love becomes an escape for people in a world/culture that gives us many reasons to want to escape it.

@Leo Gura Maybe I'll try that as an experiment. Just purposefully appear all desperate. Propose with a real cheap ring.

People even go for inanimate objects, I think this is a correlation away from the existence of twin flames outside the way I've described it haha

Have you ever known a woman to masturbate over cockroaches? That proves there's a biological component, so does the sheer fact of sexual orientation. I had to use the example of cockroaches because I know there's some strange cases of some people marrying their pets.