Origins

PART 3) EXPERIMENT UPDATE: Next morning Yes I can create this state whenever I want now, as soon as I wake, within moments. There is one most important rule. The acceptance of truth and through the execution of that rule what are some of its implications: - Accept literally everything within every fibre of my being and utilise that as an energy source to explode my state. This doesn't need to be before I hop out of bed. It all starts with consciousness, so you begin with consciousness and you perform this act as consciousness, and after consciousness has absorbed and transformed enough of its subsidiary and primary energetic material, getting out of bed, for me in less than 30 to 60 seconds after the absorption and transformation process, happens not just automatically, but inspirationally, powerfully, like thunder and lighting on a sunny day. Cool shit right. Done. Feeling great and I haven't even had my coffee yet.

For Future Reflections (to travel back to so I remember how I changed, transformed and transmuted my state for my own betterment). Will do this in 3 parts: Part 1) The poem Part 2) The resolution Part 3) The experimental follow up

I'll spend more time on this description later as well, but I was reminded today by how I like women who test me a little, challenge my perceptions, get me to extend them further. Who the fuck can do that? It doesn't need to be in an aggressive way, but that's not something I wouldn't not want, it just needs to be in such a manner that forces me to extent myself closer to truth. This is mother fucking life, what the fuck is its essence? What can we take away with us in 1 weeks time babe? How about 1 month? What the fuck have we learned in 1 whole year beautiful? I want to look back and be like fuck, we learned more together as two people than any one average person by themselves or together with one or more other persons would in ten years, even their entire damn lives. They gotta meet me in this middle, yes we're fucking doing this thing called life, yes we're going to creatively stretch this as far as we can together. I'm energetically very flexible along with experiencing very high energy states as noted above, so I can handle and appreciate both intense women in this challenging sense right down to the other side of the spectrum with women who like to extent their perceptions from a more agreeable and empathic sense. On the HEXACO, this conversational relationship in the context of challenging perceptions, in part, relates to the agreeableness scale, those women who tend to be less agreeable are more in your face and pressuring, those women higher in agreeableness tend to need to be encouraged more to open up about how they think about issues as they're not used to openly disagreeing there while at the same time doing so maintaining their conflict averse attitude so they're still in the frame of their personality. This eagerness towards expansion is a combination of two other scales on the HEXACO being Openness to Experience and Conscientiousness. For those women that fit really well here we still have the other indicators to look at of course but in particular here as it relates to the Neuroticism scale, women higher here must be made to either feel much more comfortable to slowly adopt this comfort zone thus actually reducing their neuroticism overtime or you've got women here that are less on neuroticism that have less of a difficulty adapting to this level. For the right woman, nothing is black and white here, it would be something that we could discuss and talk about overtime about how, if they're interested, may be able to slowly adapt to this change. They wouldn't need to be as progressive as me, again its not black and white, however like all other compatibility measures they'd just need to not be too far away from me here so as to ensure we're not too imbalanced. Because think about it, if I'm like this and my partner is over there on the other side of the spectrum, where do you think we're going to be in 5 years time even if we're good in all other areas? Intellectually and in terms of life experience I'm going to feel extremely lonely here if there isn't enough compatibility, all of a sudden all those other areas of good compatibility mean nothing as I'm too progressive. So its an important note I'm making here, again, I'm still fine tuning the way in which I'll move forward here with this in the context of a relationship but I've nonetheless brought it to the forefront of my awareness here in a positive and forthright sense enough for me to reflect on and improve at a later time.

ENERGETIC COMPATIBILITY Quick copy and paste here for now until I get more time to write about it:

Part 2) FUTURE REFLECTIONS on poem titled: Title: Mindless sleepy compensatory, finds itself again through emotional masturbatory Let me speak to you, yes you above, the me in the comment prior. There exists, in manifest, explosive power in merely the middle band of your consciousness rising. What is consciousness rising? This is the process of shifting consciousness from one state of realisation to another state of realisation. Your subconscious informs you throughout your life-time, what states it is possible of achieving and what states it is not possible of achieving, to all those higher states you most document them closely, and through that documentation your subconscious will make them more readily available to you on command. Do the same for your other states, and your subconscious will get better at learning from them and ascending beyond them as you’ve described in your poetic notes above. There is no humour in this, even if, humour abound, humour exists as a state, this state we’re not entertaining in this comment for purposes relating to extensionality, and keeping any future mind that reads this inclusive of my own understanding of this fine point. You knock on the kingdom of consciousness power, this area of being is no area to trifle with because it exists just adjacent to all forms of consciousness magick. Use the greatest potions your subconscious conjures up automatically to you and you will make this process a much more natural one compared to trying to instruct consciousness in a particular direction. You must make this state of action as something that exists in manifest, rather than something that exists in naturality, even if it appears that way inside and outside the state, this way you can generate distinctness between wherever your state happens to be and its distance with this state as it relates to consciousness magick, comparatively. There is no will power now, this subject seems entirely bizarre and foreign to me, its merely a matter of how well one knows how to utilise the energies of consciousness shifting from one state to the next, one only needs will power when they do not have the natural will either directed organically or through the described means of manifestation, which is consciousness power descript. Consciousness power, when one understands the relationship between energy, will, recipe, potentiation, directionality and spectrum of states here, is what replaces will power, and is all the power one needs in the process of, at the very least, state shifting, its role in consciousness transmutation, on the other hand is an entirely different subject. So the prior poetic sentiment revealed my state in the morning and the above writing reveals just how much contrast I can achieve from that state in a mere couple to few hours beyond that state. These two combined becoming a permanent resting and extension point for future periods in which I need a reminder about our capacities for consciousness state manifestation. For those interested, now you know that this is possible for yourself, and my standard here is that this is for nearly any state that I happen to be in. Where I am now:

20th of January: Re-read all entries to begin today (this is a habit of documenting maximum once per day whenever I re-read and sometimes edit these)

Just restarting this journal [ old one is now gone ], will add new material as it spurs.

Part 1) Title: Mindless sleepy compensatory, finds itself again through emotional masturbatory As I sit here with my mind, why is it that the world is so misaligned Waking up on the couch again, falling asleep after talking to you till the midnight bend Pictures like shadows on the wall, falling dreams like waterfalls that were once so tall What is it that I can invent in this brain, so that the colours of this day I can begin to entertain A rhyme for a reason, to break into this season, I, cannot describe, doctor, please prescribe Let me beg for a prescription in my dream, for this feeling body needs to feel something in order to get going to its extreme By seeing the possibility of my imagination, even if its a feeling I will not commit to in this 3D world, I will restore my inner nation To this now, I collect, a payment to my being, for the future recollect, I have broken the spell, through the rush of hell And all ready for my existential, abstract, pavlovian bell Return to this, when I forget my bliss And I will reignite, this great fight Know there is, always light (its just a matter of poetic exploration to discover new grains)

I need a new journal to capture this nuance. Starting it while quite tired, still, gems will be created in this one. I already have this journal here - Title: Autobiographical Reflective Insight Journal: 0 Years to Now https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/58463-autobiographical-reflective-insight-journal-0-years-to-now/ But its more a historical timeline, capturing (sometimes) essence, as opposed to philosophical junctions.

Title: My first fucking love, 18 years old Disclaimer: Pretty tired while typing this, challenging myself to catch up on my schedule here Now a senior, I was once an 18 year old virgin (and you too), that you mistook as a player Is that what drew you near me, the mere fact that you thought I was a player when I was just trying to get to know you? You 17, that technically (not really, it depends on the country - just for humor) made me a pedophile We met at my best friends 18th birthday party, who I did not know you grew up with What was it, that attracted you to me? For you were the instigator from the outset Flirting with me, us getting lost on the football oval close by, you taking your high heels off and running around in the sprinklers Little did I know at the time, that you were not drunk at all, rather you like me, easily became stimulated by only light alcohol consumption We exchanged numbers, I did not know what I was getting into, little did I know that you were to become my first real girlfriend We fucked in your bed, one night with my best friend staying over with his girlfriend, I did not know what I was doing I just went for it We then practiced Lots And.. Lots And.. Lots Your sexual appetite was greater than mine even though mine is greater than most We fucked everywhere On the beach, in the ocean, on a park bench, in cafe toilets, in the car (a lot), a friends bed, and our bed (way too much), couches (I think all of them at home), your father's holiday house, every room in your mother's house except her bedroom Fucking was pretty much the sum of our relationship We lived in each others presence, but we did not know enough of our own designs yet to truly understand each other's designs Still, you understood me, and me you Why did I sometimes try to make you jealous? Just an 18-19 year old by now still learning about human narratives, how we interact with one another's consciousness Why did you sometimes lie? Still the same too, not much worse than me and me not much worse in other areas compared to you, still developing your reference frames for conceptualising the space and time of another consciousness, sensitivity to presence beyond presence was not a thing of you yet, and it had not yet occurred to me that this was an aspect of myself that I had, had noticed subconsciously but had little understanding on how to consciously articulate and act on. (this caused me a lot of problems, to not realise just how sensitive I was at being able to pickup on the subconscious minds of others and just what a unique consciousness experience it brought me and consciousness experience I had in general, simultaneously an advantage depending on how you look at it, disadvantage if you don't even realise you're wielding that attribute around) This journal is not closed on you beautiful (heart, mind, spirit and body - but you know I'm not superficial ), even though we will never be together again, not because there is no want, rather because there is not enough explorational compatibility (but don't worry I do not underestimate you here, I don't want to psychically upset you, if this is possible), my dear I hope you find (or have found) a person worth keeping though, someone that would value you as much as I would value you, I will always appreciate your abilities and have compassion for where you are weaker, you brought me an unforgettable teenage / young-adulthood experience. We will speak again, in this journal, this is just the beginning to that, but you and me, have come to an end, and I wish you well in this world, may you make it as bright as you know how ( and I know you know ) My first love, a forever love

Starting this because I know 99% plus of people here suck, which means I ought to master it and gain the strategic population advantage ?. Muahahahahahaaa.??‍♀️? I’ll be going through every year ? of my life with as useful set of questions and rubrics I can create which will be shared and free to use at your own discretion. After I complete my brainstorming ? process on how to navigate this I’ll start releasing content along with the preliminary structure that anyone can begin trialing with themselves as well because of course I’m generous like that, so martyre like ??‍?. ??????

Title: A high school friend - 15 to 19 and beyond My mind, wearing a disguise so I cannot see that I am colourblind On the foresight of this moment, as my friend hands me his guitar to keep Why did I not treasure it, as much as he, treasured to give it to me? I was never one to merge objects too closely to the heart Could I go back, I wouldn’t stop playing till the sunset and my friend admired the night sky Where is he now? What does he do? I know his profession, it hasn’t been too long since I spoke to him, but what… Does he ‘do’? Profession is not a description of heart, mind, being nor their patterns of whatever shape of the world they take This mirror of time now reflecting back to me, as he hands me his guitar What if I had never broken it out of frustration of my own past? Would I have chosen to continue to speak to him, for some reason I choose not to even though I have that available to me I fear, he is lost from my frame, that I am now too out of sync, that he would find it difficult to truly see me, how many are really like me? Beyond the images of his mind, memories that have made up our time, associational network activated upon first renewed glance of one another Back at high school, perhaps if I never wore my hair in that stylish way, albeit my own style, we would never have become friends, as that was his entrance into my life, for what else may he have brought up if not that? Or perhaps, we would never have become friends if I did not become friends with who was his best friend at the time, that became my friend, that when they drew further apart we would draw closer together as best friends united With our pains of teenage years, confiding in one another’s fears, and each others grandiosity, mine more hidden than his Now that I see that mirror staring back at me, when we first met, showing me all of our memories right up to this moment including this unifying passage of reflection that I commit myself to here, I realise, every moment we ever shared, created the next, and all of those, this moment now What comes next?

Title: Challenge to potentiality, is all there is to potentialities extensionality So potentiality, in all your misery When you’re misjudged, when all the ink on your canvas is smudged By man, without a plan when he’s in the dark An’t so smart, but you my love and all of love Can learn to fly, like a pure white dove If only we shove, away the right reasons For what is right, but what works Don’t get lost in all them fireworks For you’re the firework maker, of love So no need to be a taker, of truelove The mourning dove, when he’s lost without reason For he’s in that season, when he does not know How to row down the river of truth (see journal entry 1, 2 and 3) So I’ve written this, something to borrow, for a better tomorrow And when you’re there, you’ll wipe this bare, and write your own No need to disown, the world you’ve outgrown Integrate that sword in the stone, for is it not, when we revisit it in memory Away from the sensory, where we turn mere imagination into diamonds of treasury Guiding us now with light, dove white Wings outstretched, its potentiality outside any misery Away and off, to make its history So here we go, to describe no end Just an embrace of truth and through that where to extend potentiality The suns rays, the snowfall, the rainy winds, tornados abound, the world so sound In the doves morning whistle, at the beginning middle and end of the universes fissile Extensionality of Potentiality Is our only challenge, the world mismanaged, this writing will go unchallenged Beyond a savage, the need to scavenge, damage or carry unnecessary baggage Just the knowledge of how to fly, purity is yours, with your third eye, combined As we’ve talked about, don’t get lost in time, unwind to unbind and side step any aspect of the world’s decline Remember as we’ve discussed in entry three, the world is no rollercoaster ride, its just the rollercoaster blind State of mind, is the only mental concern from being moving to springtime With the creativity of the universe, as discussed in entry 1, we're all being courageous as One Together now, in one universal dove sound, the universe abound much larger than the worlds hunting ground With galaxies and milkyway's, why bother with an ashtray of lost time Make the most, step out from being a ghost, no need to be, grandiose Grandiosity, is just compensatory, when you do not know natures generosity, Of truth with a mind clear enough to see and live it and only need it No matter how unfit you are, truth is always the best cigar, of black holes and nebulae All is lost for those who pray, what they already have, in the quiet moments of the suns rays Streaming fourth from their beings blaze, lighting the fire of the mind no longer a maze No lines like straight and narrow, criss-cross or chaos just moving from the inner beings gate with an arrow, souls kiss beyond profit and loss, let’s go to Samos A beautiful Greek island, not far from where my grandfather resided This paradise, like potentialities its the only dice, to roll in this game of life But release the game and listen here, we’re now about to enter the gates of reason Beyond all prefaces in entry 1, 2, 3 and this poems beginnings we can begin to see One of the true meanings of potentiality, the assignment of personal challenges to measure boundaries These stories are for those foundries, stars looking down, at their hometown That they call you, wandering this planet figuring out what to brew A challenge in creativity, to do all with your potentiality What is another measure, you know there’s no other so let’s bring 1, 2, 3 altogether In your measurement of time set a challenge to the best of your knowledge And carry yourself to the end of that challenge by handling the truth of being so all obstacles don’t go unseen Nor unmet, but feel that upset, if that comes For at least you can say, you don’t run from pain or its darkest night And so, you can call yourself as one in One, that stands within the only fight of life In truly following your potentiality from 1, 2 and 3, there an’t any medicines for misery because of 1, 2 and free Dom, free-dom, to dominate what but truth, in this difficulty set by you, to test the boundaries of being true Extend it rightly to measure the human hand Wasteland to quicksand, there’s no need to be desperate It’s all just, spirit You say you want to be fearless, then all you need to do Is carry this light of truth, bare the weight of 1, 2, 3 and here, or maybe, you don’t hear? Now we’re moving to challenges, how to measure from mind to its possibility in action All we need to do, is hold, that chemical reaction Release it when its done, while not forgetting that this is all fun Move on, to the next one Challenge ourselves, its what the universe does, feel and see with our new imagination all the changes its gone through since the beginning of time that’s sent the world blind from seeing the present moment as it is exists now Herself and himself, its all the same, but unity required, between he, her, 1, 2, 3 and now four Yes there will be, more As that is the great challenge, to open the door Of truth Knock, knock On the portal of potentiality, this is the only way we ever learned To be free It’s opposite to, slavery Now we can see, is just blindness, in the deep dark blue sea Swim to the surface, beyond the sky, to finalise, all the minds light You see the earth looking down from outer space All prior distortions, on what to do, lost without a trace Amen, but no need to pray to truth, your essence is it For what is it but non-truth in all we need to condemn Winter turns, so too minds begin, to learn to ascend Even if, it is all just a natural invention we should follow (as stated in three) Ascension done right, is a mere reflection from tomorrow Of today, so make this day, yours, and you’ll know your way Challenge to potentiality, is all there is, to potentialities extensionality Realisation, is all there is Said my grandfather from the grave as he was, a Freemason (truth/Truth)

Title: Being to mind not mind to being, okay got it, then what? Why are you here? Potentiality is the only clear mirror with stuff of the mind These instrumentalities have little to do with mind locked in time So say hello to being smarter, better yet wiser so you’ve no longer got the geyser No foreign coloniser, an advertiser paid by some devisor yes your brain is the reviser Of these empty platitudes, planted on the western crime Where’s East's real empty attitudes, peace held in the calm of a wind chime West, confusion’s best, to enzyme space-time of mind-time anytime you want to get lost in its so called springtime An’t no rhyme of reason, just double time like Christmas time, empties your pockets more than your delusions So what are you waiting for, these are the conclusions, fusion the music of your soul, now no longer bound by exclusion of truth, illusions planted on that mirror staring back at you Oh, don’t we all just want this to be through Can’t take it anymore, this empty space that the west fills up with mental pollution Surely, this is not my personal solution To take part in the ongoing growth of the universes dance Dancing shoes parted, my feet feel like concrete blocks without a chance Potentiality, if you’re it, what am I to do with you if the west has taken my lance? This is your war dance, something you knew when you came into this world and had your first glance Not tainted by the same happenstance, or a civilisation that planned on programming you in advance Finance!?!?! Maybe I’ll go to where its expensive, give me France, closer to the Pope though in all his deceptive religious trance The minds circumstance, is not as simple as it seems, for its so easy to grow up getting lost in dreams Potentiality though, is that not the dream that this is all about? Yes but to dream beyond being a machine, so get out of your head, I’ve almost beheaded all that needs to be said Follow this course, down the stream of no workforce, labor force, sales force or neither tour de force (or France) And chase the quarter horse, the stallion out the gate, uncontrollable by any illusions, quarter bound on its potential Not held down by any assertions, just a realisation of the real universe’s agitation No dictation of man, just the hydration of natures litigation, of your potentiation No thought, no mind Just a mind that understands principles to live by Go fly, get shot at through a mother fucking abstract existential drive-by Mentation, let’s lose our sedation, in quick gradation You will feel your purity, once again No longer lost, in what’s pretend Our childhood’s cooking a fire, of imagination so we could inspire Beyond the present moment when we felt lost, but now that you are found You can let go of those god awful sounds, that once brought signal but now noise creating the un-proud Here now, on the ground With the truth of my being (see the first journal entry here), and the truth of my intelligence (see second entry) and the truth of the world, I know how to use the imagination, by first seeing foreground and background, in any town I wish to call home That's how you make the world go round That’s how we stay in touch with ultrasound, no longer pushed around, common ground with natures innocence and hardness put together, This is now your song, what do you need me for, as this is all forever Stare into your abyss, now held by a true kiss No lies to live by, just mind locked in being rather than being locked in mind Thus only an imagination, that learns to rebuild a nation Not just a nation of country or a nation of man, but a nation of universe We just forget that word when we began to rehearse, this false cultural dance that all man lives by Natures true whispers, only heard, when we’re about to cry Her tears felt, as we look up and pierce the sky Beyond the ordinary, imagination used now for what its meant to be used for, the extraordinary Who are you miss and mr potentiality? This is of your minds design Now bound by truth, you can remember your youth This time with a wisdom tooth, in your pocket you hold, a treasure that sees through the non-truth Potentiality so it is, now you know, but wasn’t this just all eventuality? Stumble upon me, no existential theory, just true instrumentality Now go build, your subjectivity, a city of mind, that you call home, and de-thrown this western cult Beginning with heart or heart starting from being So that no mental material, is merely the ethereal All again, rebuilding, the conspiratorial That built the prison of the West, north, south and East, instead of at the centre of you Oh yes, now you can see through “Phew!” You say, well few do in the right way, Now go on, enjoy your day, the universe doesn’t stop, so there is no delay Go begin, your essay, in thought, feeling and action Truth is, the only compassion, so get rid of all other nonsense contraptions, including the same for everything to do with anything else, built by a being locked in mind instead of a mind locked in being This is, your expansion, your potentiality, so go on now evoke your personality Pass it on well, all dispelled in a collective rebel, is this not a good farewell now? A life well lived, you know what and how to do Your Elysium, for this millennium Time to speak to the cashier of real dimes, now that all spells have been cut through Breakthrough of mind, now true, breakthrough into true potentiality Arrived at last, but no arrival, just truth, there's only one centrality Potentiality, why are you here? For no other reason than to have one cohesion, that binds life together Finally now, mentation becomes a meditation With, as and right at the centre of the universe, From being to mind and the universes extension Who cares for ascension, just move to this natural invention

Title: This dimensionality, intelligence, aren't you free? This dimensionality, that holds you, born to be free Fragmented times, soiled minds This is how we learn to use the brain, By understanding truth.... Read in this journal, Can you... Handle the truth? That is how we, channel truth to stay sane But sanity is merely one measure, From here we should make things more together We have the beginning now we should make this forever By extending the mind and side-stepping what previously sent us blind (in our use of it) Reverse engineering necessity, we become our true entropy How to use the mind? A simple question for mankind Yet very rarely is it taught, for look at all the useless wars that have been fought With not just guns and bombs that destroy cities, but with guns and bombs as thoughts that destroy inner treaties So look inside, see the implied Understand from truth, how to use your mind See it from the perspective of utility, utility though that is founded upon your highest nobility Use your intelligence, to find what should be your eloquence As this life does need instruction, but it must come from your deduction Felt from the essence of your being, as we've already gone and seen (see prior journal entry as described) Now we need to enter the Eiffel tower (your mind of course), to find out how to instruct this will power Intelligence is your design, from being, now follow what can best be truly seen Augmented memories are your bloodline, with them, you know how to extend They are your how and why, where further intelligent questions only amplify This is how you grow your mind, beginning with the truth of your being, and thus, via accepting (handling) the truth of your being As the questions grow, if you'd only know That you are just one mind, in this time And if we appreciate this climb, for all its crime The universe will be continually reborn through your creative action And no action will be unaccounted for as there's no retraction So with these insights, see dissatisfaction as a mere distraction Something that brings cause for a renewed alignment Outside that confinement This is the universe expanding and contracting, as you, for you and with you Hold true to handling the truth well, and you too, will learn to use your mind to break through your cell Imprisonment is just the minds disease, and the truth of intelligence, how you can begin to plant trees That spring fourth from underneath the prison floors and walls Breaking down all the illusions like appreciating Niagra falls You are free now, free to build your mind from the truth of being This dimensionality, has secrets, that you will begin to see And when sight cometh alight, you will know how to fight So from day to midnight, seek to understand your intelligence and how to use it And as the days to midnight progress, you will begin to access Not just the truth of your being, but how to move it beyond the presently seen (through the higher use of your intelligence) This dimensionality, that formerly held you, born to be free Now you are

Title: Can you... Handle the truth? (typed just now on my phone) How the sun appears in the sky, and gives life as much as it can take it away How the moon appears, and how the wolves resonate their howls with its midnight glow That you were born, that you cannot know if you were born as it reflects as a mere memory, that you will die, and live on, as a mere memory that one day too, will die That you are an intrinsic part of the universe, so much so that no matter what mental gymnastics you wish to perform in your mind you'll never be able to escape this fact Can you... Handle the truth? Or do you need to escape it Escape it in mind, in distraction, in doubt Or can you sit with it Without mind but body, without thought but feeling Why do you need to invent a place of torment, a place of hope, a place of... Imagination... In order to live Why can't you... Handle the truth... Sit in this moment... In its raw essence... As it appears and continually changes in perception Can you hold this? Or do you wander off again in your mind or your mind wander off with you? Grab it, sit with truth How it is now Without cause or reason other than being at the centre of the universe in the context of your being Can you handle this truth? That when you are at the centre of the truth of your being, without thought or mind but body, feeling and consciousness, that you are at the centre of the universe right then in that moment, and that you cannot be more with the centre of the structure and fabric of the universe as you are right now focusing on your breath, the essence of your being Again, without thought or mind but body and feeling Can you do this too, without the need to control, for what is there to control when you're at the centre of the universe? How can a human control the centre of the universe? If you can entertain that thought for me I'd appreciate it because I don't see how Can you... Handle.... The truth? The truth of any memory you've had or have, the truth of any memory anyone had or may have of you or anything in existence... The same too with any feeling Can you sit with this moment The truth However it appears Or do you need to control it, escape it, reject it? The truth of you is only truth and nothing else It is only the mind that wants to flee, control and reject How can you... See you... Beyond the mind? And even... beyond the body I say sink into the body, the deepest essence there you can fathom with consciousness I didn't say you were the body Sit with it... Whatever it is What is the truth of the experience and why do you have loyalty to it Is your loyalty resonant with truth on the level of being? Or is it covered up with lies, lies which reject the truest essence of your beings communication and resonance with the centre of the universe Can you, handle the truth? That you are truth and nothing but truth, thus to do anything else is violation against your own being, bringing it destruction through distortion and distortion through misappropriation Why does truth equal freedom? For how is a being constrained when they're resonating with the truest essence of their being? They're not constrained by their body at this point, they're not constrained by their mind, they're not constrained by any thought, person or physical construct So what is the truth of this life for you? Truly, so no answer by merely sinking into the memories you have but by sinking into and resonating with the truth of your being You may be shocked to begin with, how is it that I haven't felt my being this deeply before? Worse, how is it that I feel this pain within my being no wonder my mind wished to distract me from this it hurts. But if you continue to sit there, at the centre of the universe, just like the skies began to fill with stars that birthed life so too will life begin to be reborn in you Can you... Handle the truth? Or is it too much to handle? I hope you can be courageous, not just for yourself but for all of us, for the entire universe, for me, for whoever is relevant to the true essence of your heart and being With each move you make, you hold us all together in ways you cannot imagine, I hope you can stay courageous, as I, will for you Together, for those of us on the side of the creativity of the universe more than its destruction, we will hold the universe at the centre of our being, we will... Handle the truth... Act, from truth, and that is all you need to know about the truth of who you are, in this moment, as truth

You must always start and end energetically resonating with truth. There's no other way. You can turn your self image into a snail if you want, quite literally, which shows you that self "image" has nothing to do with truth and everything to do with imagination. Or maybe you're spiderman, a fictional character of someone else's design, do you see how easy it is for the mind to trick itself? Self-image is to self deception. Anything on the order of image you want to simply use creatively or in understanding what is true knowledge and then use that creatively as well. Image has no business with self, only true knowledge. But knowledge is never resonance, this is a felt expression. You must learn to express truth via resonance, then you will learn what and who you are.

This is a journal on sex I’m developing. The following is taken from my other journal here - https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/59826-partner-compatibility-guidelines-female/#comment-814140 In a preliminary way it describes what I’m so far looking for regarding a partner from the perspective of sexual compatibility, sex here being only one of many other areas of relevant compatibility that need discernment and consequential elaboration. Until I’ve differentiated the complex of what will be entertained for this journal said descriptions should do justice in painting its beginnings along with what can be envisioned for it. From the perspective of this journal, at the very least some of these descriptions can be considered as antecedents to inevitable sexual principles that can be derived therein. Sexual Open Mindedness (though this goes without saying - and ideas, possibilities, expressions here are negotiated not mandatory of course) Sexual Stamina (I like to go for at least an hour - just because I find that more intimate - doesn’t have to be like this every day, at least every few weeks or more I’d like to go for 2 hours plus) Sexual Frequency (at least once per day is preferred though of course there’s incidents of chaotic misfortune that may disrupt that - and the experience has to be negotiated, because the whole idea is ensuring the best possible experience) Sexual Imagination (they have to be good at creating and holding scenarios in their mind for creating purposes sometimes for the sexual experience — sometimes the purpose will be around creating a certain frequency between one another) Sexual Intimacy (this goes with sentimentality, though nuances of intimacy can sometimes be sacrificed for the sake of fulfilling the negotiated outcomes of sexual open mindedness; again, negotiated, not mandatory sanctions of course) Sexual Enjoyability (this should be obvious, but I want to highlight the importance both with respect to my own experience and the experience the other person is having, its of the utmost importance to me that the latter is fulfilled as much as I wish to enjoy it) Sexual Experience (not just in terms of frequency or partners, more instead along the lines of how much and well they’ve thought about it, what insights they’ve had there, creative explorations they’ve generated which are underpinned by say life principles or simply something analogous to this sentiment. It’s taken that sexuality is not just an act of pleasure but an experience of symbiotic reflection, expression of something deeper than the body, creative catharsis as well as art of being, release and extensionality. Examples relate to questions for all of the above which test ones level of experience. Say regarding enjoyability, how is it going to be enjoyed? Why is it enjoyed? What is resolved? What is created? Etc. So many people just see sex as an act and release without any contention for forethought regarding its intentionality. Intentionality as it must be understood, is the soul of sex, don’t trifle with it). Sexual Honesty (this relates to intentionality, you must have your intention right, which can be learned. What are you trying to express in the moment? How are you tethered to this other being in this act of spiritual art? If you’re not reaching from the soul where are you reaching from and who are you reaching to? How you have sex says a lot about how you do life, allow the intentionality you’ve developed in sex paint the self honesty you will approach all of life with. Finally, the level of sexual honesty within any relationship describes a lot about the dynamics of the relationship itself. What is felt? What can you hear between the breaths where no words are spoken? If you cannot commit in any act of sex, what in life can you truly commit to? True sex is the bedrock of having to experience ones complete energetic body in the moment, what is your commitment to true feeling here then? Alignment with sexual honesty is the cornerstone of aligning with sex from truth and the beginning of true sex). No Sexual Escapism (if sex is used in such a way to escape ones energetic body via the pleasure principle, then one is not truly experiencing their full energetic body during sex, and thus one of the sole premises to sex as an act from and as the universe, is not fully magnified in intensity and breadth, soul expression, devotion, extension and connection. In fact, to covet sexual escapism is the anti-thesis of living life, moreover, given the relationship between intentionality within sex and future life navigation, if you use sex as an escape you’re only reinforcing the attitude of medicating oneself to handle the pressures of life. This is why intentionality in the context of ones energetic body to manifest the honesty is so vital for authentic enjoyment and experience. Any sexual escapism and any issues around sex in general will be treated delicately and mindfully moving forward.)

On our relationship to Sex - Guidelines and Needs A lead into the following journal I've just commenced: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/59996-sex-from-truth-an-exposé-on-true-sex/#comment-814142 Sexual Open Mindedness (though this goes without saying - and ideas, possibilities, expressions here are negotiated not mandatory of course) Sexual Stamina (I like to go for at least an hour - just because I find that more intimate - doesn’t have to be like this every day, at least every few weeks or more I’d like to go for 2 hours plus) Sexual Frequency (at least once per day is preferred though of course there’s incidents of chaotic misfortune that may disrupt that - and the experience has to be negotiated, because the whole idea is ensuring the best possible experience) Sexual Imagination (they have to be good at creating and holding scenarios in their mind for creating purposes sometimes for the sexual experience — sometimes the purpose will be around creating a certain frequency between one another) Sexual Intimacy (this goes with sentimentality, though nuances of intimacy can sometimes be sacrificed for the sake of fulfilling the negotiated outcomes of sexual open mindedness; again, negotiated, not mandatory sanctions of course) Sexual Enjoyability (this should be obvious, but I want to highlight the importance both with respect to my own experience and the experience the other person is having, its of the utmost importance to me that the latter is fulfilled as much as I wish to enjoy it) Sexual Experience (not just in terms of frequency or partners, more instead along the lines of how much and well they’ve thought about it, what insights they’ve had there, creative explorations they’ve generated which are underpinned by say life principles or simply something analogous to this sentiment. It’s taken that sexuality is not just an act of pleasure but an experience of symbiotic reflection, expression of something deeper than the body, creative catharsis as well as art of being, release and extensionality. Examples relate to questions for all of the above which test ones level of experience. Say regarding enjoyability, how is it going to be enjoyed? Why is it enjoyed? What is resolved? What is created? Etc. So many people just see sex as an act and release without any contention for forethought regarding its intentionality. Intentionality as it must be understood, is the soul of sex, don’t trifle with it) Sexual Honesty (this relates to intentionality, you must have your intention right, which can be learned. What are you trying to express in the moment? How are you tethered to this other being in this act of spiritual art? If you’re not reaching from the soul where are you reaching from and who are you reaching to? How you have sex says a lot about how you do life, allow the intentionality you’ve developed in sex paint the self honesty you will approach all of life with. Finally, the level of sexual honesty within any relationship describes a lot about the dynamics of the relationship itself. What is felt? What can you hear between the breaths where no words are spoken? If you cannot commit in any act of sex, what in life can you truly commit to? True sex is the bedrock of having to experience ones complete energetic body in the moment, what is your commitment to true feeling here then? Alignment with sexual honesty is the cornerstone of aligning with sex from truth and the beginning of true sex) No Sexual Escapism (if sex is used in such a way to escape ones energetic body via the pleasure principle, then one is not truly experiencing their full energetic body during sex, and thus one of the sole premises to sex as an act from and as the universe, is not fully magnified in intensity and breadth, soul expression, devotion, extension and connection. In fact, to covet sexual escapism is the anti-thesis of living life, moreover, given the relationship between intentionality within sex and future life navigation, if you use sex as an escape you’re only reinforcing the attitude of medicating oneself to handle the pressures of life. This is why intentionality in the context of ones energetic body to manifest the honesty is so vital for authentic enjoyment and experience. Any sexual escapism and any issues around sex in general will be treated delicately and mindfully moving forward.)

Non-negotiables (periodic update): (unless you're truly the jackpot in other areas (doubtful - so it would just be about striving for the average of the sum)): 1. You must have committed at least one crime, preferably resulted in hand-cuffing at some point but no prison term as that just shows too much carelessness all things being equal. The hand-cuffs are not absolutely mandatory though, just a bonus. 2. You must be high in sentimentality (aka this is a hard no to psychopaths even if I find you sexy sometimes), otherwise my whole project here just wouldn't work, I'm biologically wired to be high here and I've learned that this is the best way to live out existence if I were to repeat it again and again providing I intelligently shift towards the right conditions. Lack of sentimentality is the same as you being asexual, pass. Sentimentality is highly linked though not synonymous to pair-bonding ability. Exceptions here are if there are preoccupations with past experiences that can be worked through which have otherwise stifled said underlying high sentimentality. Take the HEXACO online to find out as well as research the meaning and implications of this term from this site here https://hexaco.org/hexaco-online . And not all tests are perfect obviously, it's just important to use intelligence to differentiate relevance. 3. You must be okay with me maintaining pre-existing female relationships I have, and that's to whatever capacity, until our relationship dynamic has done all the negotiation that needs to be done for greater exclusivity, there are some relationships however as a consequence of the commitment I've made to those females where only sexual exclusivity will be provided unless negotiated otherwise in the future, and this will be only as a consequence of my negotiation with the other woman/women, not as something that I follow as a direct request from you simply because I have to take into consideration the thoughts and feelings of those/that other women/woman. Exclusivity depends on how high up the scale our relationship is (see noted previous scales), generally speaking, and then it's weighed against all of my other female relationships which are weighed against the same scales. 4. Openness to experience is a must have, I score in the top 1% and I need someone to score at least in the top 10%, I won't settle for anything less. For now here's a short description of the scale until I get the time to describe more originally. The Aesthetic Appreciation scale assesses one's enjoyment of beauty in art and in nature. Low scorers tend not to become absorbed in works of art or in natural wonders, whereas high scorers have a strong appreciation of various art forms and of natural wonders. The Inquisitiveness scale assesses a tendency to seek information about, and experience with, the natural and human world. Low scorers have little curiosity about the natural or social sciences, whereas high scorers read widely and are interested in travel. The Creativity scale assesses one's preference for innovation and experiment. Low scorers have little inclination for original thought, whereas high scorers actively seek new solutions to problems and express themselves in art. The Unconventionality scale assesses a tendency to accept the unusual. Low scorers avoid eccentric or nonconforming persons, whereas high scorers are receptive to ideas that might seem strange or radical. https://hexaco.org/scaledescriptions

On compatibilities: 1-10 scale as used above: 1. An autobiographical connection So we don't necessarily have to have grown up together of course, I mean, that seems irrelevant and merely a bonus, just in terms of how we've been shaped by our environment and the memories we can recall in association. One example among many others of a lack of autobiographical connection would be like you had the perfect childhood for example, that would create distance for me that would need to be worked through if other compatibilities were pretty good. I mean, it reduces conversational potential by quite a lot the more lack of alignments need to be worked through here. This doesn't mean that differences can't complement each other here, of course they can, its more or less about what differences do not, why and how does that arise so that those reasons can be understood in context with the overall dynamic. 2. Not too wide of a gap in terms of growth momentum I'm a passionate person towards my own growth and development, if the gap is too wide here, it'll create the same kind of distance experienced as having a completely unrelatable/foreign autobiographical background. Foreign as its used here by the way falls outside the scope of language barriers, although they can be an aspect, after-all english is preferred and a tongue towards learning other languages if they aren't already known.

——- still following above scale ——— 7. Desire to be curious 8. Extra sensory perception / high sensitivity 9. Desire to be truly yourself 10. Desire to explore 11. Desire for humour / playfulness / light heartedness 12. Desire to see orca whales in the wild 13. Desire to travel to other planets (this is becoming possible slowly) 14. Desire to grow 15. Desire to be free where freedom is the ability to express oneself fully and how one intended

About 3-6 years old - stated in such a way as to reflect the sophistication of my thought process, at least as far as I can presently fathom it - the mind of a child, the child mind of an earlier me: What is this world I exist in? I don’t know much of this world, I don’t know of intelligence, theories, models, I don’t know of other countries much. I like eating I know that. When my tummy rumbles, I know it’s time to enjoy food. I like mums casserole so much. I know I get afraid of the dark sometimes while pretending to fight imaginary monsters, ghosts and spirits when I feel a presence out of the ordinary. Whats that? Oh it’s my sister saying that I can sleep in her bed because I’m scared and don’t want to be alone. I wake up and now I’m playing the old Nintendo (prior to Nintendo 64) with my brother, whenever he dies playing Mario brothers he always says “oh just one more go”, his intensity towards the game is odd behaviour to me. He has smelly feet and he leaves his dirty socks around. Oh what’s this? This feels smooth, the feeling of smoothness is an interesting feeling. This is a big world I’m a part of. I wonder if mum will take us to the Dandenong plaza for a swimming day. She keeps threatening not to take us if we’re naughty. My sister and I are distracted flexing our muscles in front of a giant mirror, waiting for our next direction to prepare for what will be a fun day... If there’s not too much yelling. I remember when my mother punched me in the face for losing a few dollars after paying for the movie tickets prior to seeing the film. My nose bled. I hope this doesn’t happen again. Now my sister and I are playing underneath the large dining room table, we’ve turned it into a forte of the sorts with all the different sized pillows and blankets we have, I’m pretending to be a lion and I’m really good at replicating the sound, she’s getting a little scared by how much I’m acting the part and her fear makes me self conscious about my intensity and I change my inner state accordingly. We pretend to be other animals as well. We play chess, she never wins unless I let her and I always feel the need to because I don’t want to lose a chess partner because my elder brother and two sisters never play. They’re too consumed in their own worlds. My older sister though, she’s at least nurturing towards me, she makes me peanut butter and jam sandwiches. I like those. I don’t like the mustard ones though and she sometimes forgets that. Mum wants me to remake her cup of tea because she says that “the tides are out” I’ve learned that means she thinks I didn’t put enough boiling water in, I learned to really perfect this overtime, like I really put a lot of effort into it. We have Friday night movie nights, I hope I don’t have to watch another scary film, that film really scared me. Halloween is only fun for the lollies and the door knocking, not mums choice in film.

If you're going to do this potentialization thing, you exist in potential, so you're meant to explode potential in everything, there's no limits. Mentors are meant to all things being equal provide better than average adaptive narratives for consciousness to expand itself (otherwise what's the point), outside of this its your expansion to not limit yourself with outside of good estimation, and you should always aim to expand that narrative through your own originality.

About 15 years of age - Say it again and I'll turn you into your mother on her period just after a divorce: Waiting for year 9 science class, not looking forward to sitting down and taking notes for the nth too many times blow my brains out now. I have a crush on my science teacher though, I’ve had a crush on all of my female teachers though in some way. Sitting against corridor wall with a friend by the class next door I hear something underneath the breath of 25 other students. “Have you seen Michael’s dad, he’s so old, he’ll probably die soon.” (you have to keep the context impressed upon your forehead that the goal is to demean, so on top of words you have to add feeling, gestures and social games as well that need to be called out). Upon looking in the direction of the sounds of potential war I begin to feel my heart rate increase and my eyes narrow in with a psychopathic stare trying to figure out the source. The other guys a part of the group I was relatively good friends with, there was only one possibility. They saw me look in their direction and began to display awkward body language as if they anticipated that I was preparing my body for action. There was only one exception, a spiky haired douche that obviously had problems at home with his own parents in secret, his name was Luke, he continued forward in his condescension towards me in private with the group obviously trying to change their opinion of me not yet noticing their change in body language in response to my own. I abruptly but calmly made my way toward the group, “Luke, hey how are you? Do you have something to say? You know I can hear you over there?” “No I don’t have anything to say.” His body language now more uncertain while still trying to maintain his frame within the group. “Luke I heard you from there, now spit it out. C’mon”. “Your father’s old.” “And you said that he was going to die soon didn’t you, and you’re trying to make fun of me aren’t you. C’mon be brave.” Egging him on now to ensure I avoid having this circumstance come up again by bringing the full monster out of him in this moment right now (own the future sort of thing). “Yeah his old, you’ve got an old dad it's funny. What are you going to do about it huh?” With glee, I have my opportunity to make a point. "Say it again if you've got any nerve whatsoever, but if you do you're not going to like what's coming, that's a warning, but if you've got any balls..." I retort He did. I already know what I’m going to do, I don’t want to cause too much pain just embarrass him a little (because I was never into delivering pain, just creating points). I want to reach his neck properly so because his taller I grab him by his body and then rip him to the floor and hold him by the neck in a choke hold I’d learned from too many times playing WWE on Nintendo 64. “Take it back. Take it back and I’ll let you go.” “NO!” He squirms. “Luke this can be all over in just a second if you just apologise. This is only going to become more desperate for you as I proceed” My heart rate remains relatively the same as the initial raise enough to get the job done. I tighten my grip. I’m like a robot with a mission. Dispassionate and purely dutiful in my purpose. I can feel the pressure rising in his body, his face becoming red, sweat beginning to form on his brow, and I’m not going to lie, although I simultaneously didn’t want to cause him much pain, I was enjoying having power over him. Two retorts later. He gives in. And just after giving in I allow a friend to pull me off him (he’d already tried several times to no avail). Luke never said anything towards me again other than polite gestures and neutral behaviour. After that played out my crush (teacher) arrived just in time after everything had settled down between us all, her modest beauty and calm eyes bringing greater relaxation to myself and everyone else throughout the lesson. I never gave this whole experience much of a second thought until now. And no, I’m definitely not a psychopath. I can wear the suit though to get a job done when I need to.