Origins

@soos_mite_ah it seems like you have a life filed with chasing content as opposed to personally deriving truths in a sophisticated manner and creating, so your problem is not actually addiction, that’s just a consequence of not yet learning how to move to self truth and life lived around your creative productions. Ask yourself instead of anyone telling you, what are are the patterns that I need to discern in order to move to that kind of way of life? This forum for example is a hub of advice asking and giving, but how much do people actually act from a place of self truth? Is this forum everyone’s “self truth”, really? Your (mostly everyone) content doesn’t come across that way. I think most people need to have more honest conversations with themselves, put their own simple lives in contrast with the trillions of lives that have come before them, will come after them and the centuries of time and change humanity has gone through to reach this point. Who lives this way? Only self actualised people. How many people on this site live that way? I’d say the number needs to increase a lot. So I hope that many people read your post @soos_mite_ah are honest with themselves and come to terms with avoiding the same problem. We have to evolve culture @soos_mite_ah and we need all people taking a serious perspective on how they can play their part. (starting to sound like a cult leader now so I’ll just slide off into the distance) Seek higher sophistication and less effort, not more effort and less sophistication. And the best way to do that is to follow what you intrinsically are, which is your awareness, and very slowly putting together existence yourself taking the worlds ideas as things that can help that process and then slowly actualising that understanding a little bit more each day. You have to organise all that content in your mind though, like an encyclopaedia. For this we have memory techniques that the wisest people grew up using. Start listening to yourself @soos_mite_ah but start doing it from the smartest lens from the ground up. (1) expand your perception (2) differentiate the vital ingredients that make up your existence then slowly further out from there (3) avoid making assumptions, assumptions can destroy a human beings life in 2 seconds flat

@intotheblack good post everyone watch this and read the right books aka the book Attached by Amir Levine

@Preety_India this is very good Preety, what do you need our help for you’ve got this all handled ?

@Hardkill Projection is a bitch. I wouldn’t project an external socialised image of right and wrong to workout whether what another person has done is right or wrong. If you solve projection here, you hit many birds with one stone. How you resolve projection is through actual social negotiation and understanding the personal individual, avoid assumptions based on cultural values, although in general they can often be a useful frame for understanding others, but for you properly making sense of the world, they’re not, just something to pay respect to when it’s right to do so, which is something you determine with your personal conscience.

@Nahm Unconditional love is so tough. I’m there with it some days perfectly and others battling my own attachment style, I’m getting better and better at it though. You’ve just gotta maintain focus on self awareness as being the end game goal to the finish line there. Good comment.

@Leo Gura I never jerk off to porn. I don’t even watch porn. I jerk off to one woman only, it increases the likelihood of my own monogamy, decreases if I don’t. But that’s not the only reason why I do it of course otherwise I’d have no interest in her. She’s an amazing woman needless to say. Porn is just... meh.... has been for a few years now. @Strangeloop test your sexual boundaries find what works self awareness throughout as always.

@kras bro it sounds like you’re obviously inexperienced this is a great opportunity for you to take your experiences with her seriously, work on your empathy, listening skills and personal boundaries. You have to think long term about what both of you can get out of the interactions. She obviously wants attention. What do you want outside of getting laid? That’s what I’d ask yourself, I’m sure you want a little attention yourself you said you’re needy after all, so look at this from the lens of: 1. Okay this is the map of my relationships in my present reality 2. this is how they serve me and this is how they don’t 3. here are my boundaries and here’s how I plan on working on them long term 4. these boundaries are based on these values I have about how I treat myself and others 5. here is my learning strategy in relation to 1-4 Even if it doesn’t workout this is how you should be approaching all future interactions, but don’t mess up here. Don’t think that just doing whatever in this situation isn’t going to have either negative or positive consequences for you. By having no plan at all for your learning you’re giving yourself zero opportunity to avoid the same issue in the future with another woman. “Same issue” doesn’t necessarily mean just extraction of attention, it just means using your intelligence to understand that both of you have needs and you’re going to be the leader in the situation (great if she can be as well) about understanding how those needs are going to be met across time. Do you know how many other situations this translates skills into? A lot. Don’t think about this stuff like normal people do, you should be working to assert incrementally more control over your environment from a position of personal leadership day to day. This is your purpose. To understand how to express your potential, and get better and better at that execution day in and day out, less and less impeded by external forces while at the same time building a stronger and stronger relationship with them.

just uploading when I feel like it though. So every few days or so fuck uploading every day when I'll just spend that time focusing on things that give a higher return on investment, when I'm simply killing time ill upload (procrastination time) up to and including all days prior so channel still up to date

From February 1st, I'll be releasing an improvisation every single day where said improvisation reflects a more or less completed song in the time I improvised it. I haven't been doing enough training, etc for a while now so I'm just using the time in between now and Feb 1st for preparation. In the meantime I want to begin this journal by reminding myself of the dark place I came from over a year ago now with the following (reasonably old now) improvisation I did at around the same time. I'm very far beyond what the lyrics represent these days so without reflection that arms my awareness therein it can be easy to forget just the sheer range of dark psychological human spaces we can inhabit, such forgetting leads to a lack of empathy, this in part is why I'm simultaneously looking forward to diving deep into my autobiographical journal so that such empathy is less weary of appearance where I remember my roots and in doing so I'm better able to connect with a far greater spectrum of psychological states. On that note, memory should arm empathy, but too, imagination empathy. Memory helps us remember the spectrum of possibilities, imagination helps us not only create the experience but also extend and refine that spectrum. This is an experience of consciousness I'll now take a much more active role in mastering for a myriad of purposes inside and outside conscious experiential connection. Title: Ruthless memories Lyrics: Stay away Memories in my mind Crawling in the backstreets Pulling me under You an't got no place to go Calling my mind So cold So cold Calling in my mind Broken up in my silence In your dreams Walking in my sleepless nights In the cave of my heart Dream to be somebody else Just gonna fly higher In truth

@Preety_India Go Preety!

@Preety_India I cannot find a single thread that’s worth commenting on Preety. I nearly did. I commented here though because I think you’re a sweet person. Hope everything is going well for you ?. The only reason why I think the Dating, Relationships and Sexuality section continually attracts the most intelligent people (among many other types) of the forum is because they mostly still have emotions, again, mostly, or otherwise definitely still want to get laid or simply have to combat what others may sometimes deem a chore dealing with other humans. I on the other hand have now achieved my final robotic form complete with jet pack and hydraulic fuel boosters with only a dash of sentimentality left in me to spread across the infinite internet landscape as efficiently as possible while constructing my indomitable plan to take over the human species and replace them with 3D computer model representations of themselves. Naturally you’re all more compactible and tolerable if I just give you your dream of transportable albeit solely electronic and computerised consciousness. You fell for the Singularity scam just as you fell for the JP, Tai Lopez, etc scam (on this forum). You’re a blessing for this forum Preety! Best to you and progressive discussions on this forum that extend beyond a 3rd grade reading level.

Singing/Music tip (seriously put on your fucking seatbelt and get ready to skyrocket to hallelujah jukebox made from candy land merry Poppins "she's a whore in this imaginary world" she chants and chants and chants with only her knickers on) Focus on your timing and your singing will improve by at least a solid 25%. Seriously. Get out a metronome now, start with one then build up to 4 as I am. This is simply because music occurs over time, meaning its instance divided by sound placed, so the better you are at anticipating time and creatively as well there too, the bette your singing will be. I’m now just starting to work on my timing and starting to notice the effects which will peak in a couple of months in terms of gains in performance but its incredibly important when it comes to juggling instrument, vocals and lyrics simultaneously, the space between their occurrence the only room your mind has to be creative during an improvisation. This is what a more competitive part of me refers to as a creative advantage, so many numbskulls can’t reverse engineer spontaneous music production like this. I recommend this activity for anyone that wants to do something a little less moronic than simply listening to brainwaves to improve their brain syncrhonicasiton you’ve got no idea how important timing is for the brain in so many ways this is why drummers have a general advantage but at the end of the day if you’ve just got x number of metronomes that max out your abilities you’ll improve the “timing of your brain” effectively bringing about a more intelligent you that’s naturally thus more in sync in the relationship between inner and outer world. Takes a little getting used to but make it as fun as possible for yourself, I can dance but I’m not much of a fan for the continuous exercise of it outside of performance but maybe for example that’s your thing, you get the point ; drummers can't compete with the creative possibilities here.

As the title describes. This journal will contain all of my preparatory and explorative notes for this demo album titled "War of Mind" which will be released on March 1st. Firstly though, let me introduce my earliest recording of me trying to do an improvisation (certainly the first recording/improvisation within a 12 month period --- notice how I'm struggling to produce improvised lyrics in the song which I have an easier time at doing these days and will just get better and better at), this earliest recording just so happens to intersect with the earliest beginnings of the phrase "War of Mind" (this is the first time I ever said those words). Go easy on the recording, obviously (earliest beginnings after-all). It's also representative of early days of me singing and learning guitar (at least a few months off singing, etc), which I left for some months not long thereafter but have since rebegun my journey there, so I'll be using this and other journals to track progress from my beginning to increasingly more advanced stages. I will be building the whole album around this song, which includes finishing it completely of course. So naturally this song has a lot of sentimental value for me. Think of this song, which will likely be the beginning of the album, the inception point for all other songs and ideas I'll produce from there. This recording is at least 12 months old, I don't know the exact date. Title: Blue Courage

An outcome of this journal - https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/60903-atmospheric-energetic-resonance-improvisational-creativity-music-not-songs/?do=findComment&comment=830897 This is obviously the encompassment, beginning and end to all psychic phenomena, with psychic phenomena purely just being a subset to anything to do with energy and its various manifestations. I'm learning to now transmute those energies in this sense, that they're always available to you in every moment of the day, its just a matter of how "being" you are. You get such insight into people, yourself and their various combinations with the environment, the world and the universe. This is not an easy subject of instruction and at present I have neither the authority nor the inclination to begin describing how to go about the process, its just a matter of either being a reminder for you or you just "get it". It's important to discriminate very carefully between your own energy and another's energy, projected energy of course being the outcome of (but not limited to): (1) not understanding your own energy enough (2) not understanding the other person's et al. energy enough (3) not being able to make careful discriminations between the two This is all very straight forward to me now, whereas before a shadow was cast over what was otherwise merely just a felt experience, so I wasn't able to readily articulate it to the "reasoning mind". It takes several masks of reality in a consciousness-experiential sense not merely the intellectual sense that you didn't even realise were masks (aka projections here being an example of an energetic mask you're projecting onto a phenomenon/energy) to be pulled off in order to discover more pure essences of truth here that otherwise wouldn't appear in the shadow of a darker resonating consciousness anyhow, at least not under normal circumstances. Nothing is new under the hood, its a completely new direction for me to follow now, more negational of prior forms if anything without the force behind it. Almost as if pressure was just being let out of the machine of life the whole time up to this point and now its equalised into something that is beginning to understand how to resonate with what was already there and perform transduction that neither clouds the mind or corrupts the being but more or less does its opposite without leaving anything unnecessary behind.

A pigment of the artistic figment to wash over the imagination for future redesigns of understanding how various energies mix in with conscious artistic choice:

Read first post for understanding of what I'm doing here (sometimes there will be unavoidable sound issues) WHITE BACKGROUND RESONANT (no "me" just tuning) - 5th of Feb BETTER WITHOUT HEADPHONES DUE TO SOUND ISSUES

So as described. Noticing that I find it extremely difficult to consciously create music when others around (even if they're 50 meters away) --- only when I energetically resonate with the environment can I----(has nothing to do with nervousness really), I find that they inhabit my consciousness, influencing my emotions incredibly, so I've decided to make an experiment of it. Very fascinatingly, it feels like I tap into the emotional wavelengths of the surrounding area, of other peoples energies, that are not my own, so express their emotions through my voice or my emotions of the unique energetic atmosphere through my voice. It's extremely unusual, that I'm not able to inhabit my own world in this way, that there are all these consciousness simultaneously entering and influencing my own being the beginning point of which is an energetic improvisation through the ending point being song. I see this more as an energetic improvisation than a music improvisation, because I'm tapping into what's being experienced on that level rather than "trying to come up with a song". Don't think of what I post here as "songs", just think of them as resonant pieces. I'll be keeping them as pure as possible, starting from the beginning of a recording before I even start strumming the guitar (or whatever else) so the energetic transitions can be captured. [[[[[[ few hours later..... and as the consciousnesses fly off further and further away from me, my being begins to return to homeostasis, rekindle its inner essence, warmth flows in, and essence becomes the sunlight that shines out onto the world from the head, no longer nearly as influenced by outside energies ------- this is the foundation in which "self channeling" can begin to arise"]]]]

In light of just the above... I guess I have to pose the question... Have I become a little bit more of a villain since the beginnings of war of mind? Thus recognition of this contrast is sending me back to my roots a little more. It makes me realise that there's probably a lot of truth to the body having an "emotional body", analogous to or exacting in description of the souls energetic pulse more or less. Where am I taking my soul with every sound that I make? What does every sound I make tell about the truth of my soul and where its heading? There's colouration, which is explorative and imaginative, there's discolouration, which can be that too but also expressive and indicative, and finally there is just pure expression of what is, how aligned with the truth of being is the expression of the sound? And to the former, for artistic purposes we do sometimes need to ask, in order to tell a story with energetic juxtaposition, prose and prosody, where do we need to bend the soul or seek deeper, even newer depths within the soul for all a combination of songs to be represented of a full gestalt, ideally, of a soul, in like, so character, or in true form, so being. This relationship between sound, energy, truth, soul and being is a fascinating one.

One thing I've learned by observing the above early improvisation and my recent improvisation actually titled War of Mind (just fooling around) is when you're constructing an album you've gotta be so, so careful about how the emotions of one song which are very much like the colours used in a painting blend in with the rest of the colours used in other songs. A dash of black here but not too much over there, a dash of red here but not too much over there, white, purple, blue, orange and yellow here, but don't put any yellow or green here. I won't list that improv but you can find it here (https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/60321-singing-analysis-journal-ie-clips-compared-side-by-side/#comment-830229) if you really want, you'll notice how its much, much darker than the improv listed at the beginning of this journal, too dark, like representative almost of the enemy that would be in any hypothetical narrative that could be painted with the above improv (listed in this journal), kind of like the orcs in Lord of the Rings. So I wouldn't at all use the colours of that improv in with this album, as its a nuance that brings too much contrast away from the focus of what can be experienced in this improv, which is more pure, a lot of elements of truth that I want explored in the overall album which can easily be missed by adding too much black and red together for example.

"Think of this song, which will likely be the beginning of the album, the inception point for all other songs and ideas I'll produce from there." I look at this song as representing the grammar of the album, and I'm more or less building the rest of the language from scratch based on it. It's about creating an entirely new world and/or old worlds re-represented in spirit. That's what you have to do in both lyrics, music and voice. Every song is a string in a web, representing the first stable emotional and meaning structure of a new species on planet earth within the laws of physics.

This thread just totally got out of hand since my sleep ? deprivation experiment. Haha. DO NOT DO (although in hindsight the experiment was worth it but it was just one of those non-repeatable ones, like a fat person you take home from the pound to look after, feed and nurse back to physical health. Sounds like a good idea but then you only take home the wisdom after you return them back to the shelter. Put a lock on that fridge of yours!) So I’ve basically just re-begun it. I’m still ahead of schedule technically, the improv’s are still up on YT but they’re a reflection of just an eating competition while drunk experiment mostly as opposed to representing the highest quality relative to time constraints and my present level. Some aren’t bad though. This is a take it or leave it situation at the moment, have fun checking out progress overtime as that’s where the most learning will occur for people. I’ll be sure to create a separate journal for my notes regarding my progress and general insights, Now following the listed Day 1 to 4 schedule just above, catching up though in full by this coming Sunday simply because that’s how I roll even though I’m technically still ahead. Just to get my mind set on releasing things that represent quality relative to my present level of development, so making sure I get plenty of rest, warm up and look after my voice, etc. Try and be a little more professional, like a little more than those cheesy ads on YouTube kind of thing, you get the picture. God who needs the reminder about the cheesy ads I sure don’t. And no not releasing an album like Homer thinks he can run the nuclear plant all by himself by this coming Sunday EST, that’s just simply ridiculous, I’ll be aiming for a “demo album” (for lack of a better way of explaining it) each month. Otherwise things will likely change and adapt overtime as I’m still figuring out my place here, just hopefully those changes will come from a balanced non-sleep deprived space. Ha. Thank Samskara for being my life coach on this situation to bring things back into a more balanced motion.

oh and the war of mind, I find it humorous now actually, still definitely perfecting that kind of "rock" sound

As described, and of the highest intelligence overtime in as much as I can extend myself to that resolve. All arts need to be broken down into a science and then built back up into an art through the natural expression of the science that's become a habit for you. The following first clip is a simple example of what I'll be doing to improve my ear on my own sounds produced and the way in which those sounds are produced so I can stay away from bad habits and move towards those habits that concentrate my sound towards its best direction. Notice in the first parts of each aspect of this clip for example that the first is a more narrow and heady and the second is more round and open. We can potentially blend various ways of singing, but in general you want to be focusing on a particular direction simply because just like any other part of your body you build up muscle memory. The following based on an improv I just completed, the full version listed at the bottom of this entry. [ Prefacing this with the fact that I'm perfecting the second version, that the first is done with the wrong technique (for lack of a better way of describing it) ] Full version - while listening I encourage you to try and see if you can notice nuances yourself that could have been improved, doing such an exercise will improve your ear as well as change the way you listen to other singers from now on. For example, at the beginning, notice how my sound isn't very open at all, its a little congested, it would have sounded much better if I was open and resonant. This is of course one of the difficulties with improvisations I'll have to overcome, I never know precisely (not even close) just what I'm going to be singing so its far easier to sing something in a way that you probably shouldn't. This is something that comes with the sole repetition of your chosen technique. Ultimately, this is still something I'm experimenting with. Outside of analysis we have just the natural development of the voice overtime of course through scales and so on where said technique is ideally emphasised and carries over outside of training (not always happens). Cognitively it takes away from the free-flow, but cognition here is simply relative to number of sets you still need to complete before it becomes seamless and thoughtless for creative flow.

okay fixed distortion now (slightly still there but its all I have time for and not used to recording a classical sound): ===== So I've just been getting back into my singing training, includes classical. My goal is to combine rap/classical in a creative way. Here's a before and in one months time from now I'll see how I sound and test for progress. NO EDITS TO THESE VOALS AT ALL (other than the adding of the cathedral plugin - only very lightly) This will provide a good marker for me. This is just a random improv done just now

yeah Ill just alternate from now on, do cycles (in general) - for example with a 4 day cycle: Day 1 - acoustic guitar (improv upload) Day 2 - piano/keyboard (improv upload) Day 3 - electric guitar (improv upload) Day 4 - Ableton experimentation (upload)