Origins

@Ghartok Padhome Bad internet connection watch from 30 minute mark you’ll spot a similar red headed daffodil that goes on to describe the method I’d further discuss if I felt so inclined (I don’t at the moment but if you ask a good question that challenges my intelligence I just may). Do it. Don’t screw around. This will work. Intelligently supplement like a dog prepping for a beauty contest that balances a tennis ball on his nose as well as laps around the track bare footed. All actors of any kind, anyone who has any intelligence over how they want to use their emotional bandwidth should be doin something similar. Redesign My Brain - Mind over Matter (Episode 3 of 3) https://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1zscx2

@Ghartok Padhome no problems mate give me a moment I recall the perfect thing for you to practice daily

@Zion social media provides a recursive improvement feedback loop within culture towards the memetic values harboured by the corresponding culture. So it’s not only positive it’s absolutely vital. Just goes to show the kinda of values we have that we would degrade it’s use and development in such a deplorable way. Zuckerberg has thousands to potentially millions of dead bodies crawling out of his wide open mouth of ulterior motivated monopolistic cock sucking. It’s also the consequence of the time we are in history, for example if the internet coincided with social media we would have created far more intelligent means of disseminating social information. This is a subject that concerns the time gap between technologies and their adoption by a demographic and species overall. Social communication within the military in times of war is extremely useful, outside of urgency the primacy of information decreases rapidly depending on what values said social unit is resting on, of course, Ashkanazi Jews and many other demographics utilisation of social technologies is far superior to that of the general western population. Zuckerberg is the poster child of a memetic winner in this sense, he is both a victim of the values that his users rest on and a perpetrator of the proliferation of the virus that is social media consumption in a failing social economy. Bottom up developments of communities say in Canada will be examples in the future of how social media usage can be used for good, look up “Future Thinkers Smart Village a Holistic Vision”, I haven’t at all delved into it but I can easily extrapolate on its ramifications, I also highly doubt social media has been properly brought up but it would be an intelligent adaptation in the context of more rapidly spreading cultural values within a system just as Hitler did so for less than saintly purposes between 1939 and 1945. Yes, Zuckerberg is Hitler, just with a few slight inversions on purpose and outcomes but with the same amount of if not worse level of damage to the social evolution of the human species.

@Dunnel daily gratitude journal. Good to see you’re still here by the way ! Feel free to message me for advice or just for a chat whenever you like mate!

@Visionno one send me private messages requesting help unless I say it’s okay to do so via comments. Vision I’d like you to meet @Nahm I’m sure he’d know plenty more about emotional intelligence than I, firstly I’d like to say, Nahm thank you for all your contributions to this forum you make a pivotal difference on the dynamics here, secondly, Vision if you’re more polite and courteous than myself I’m sure Nahm would be delighted to help you on the subject. Best of luck and thank you again Nahm

@Ghartok Padhome you either push yourself based on your own determined reasons, for your own determined goals, for the extension of your own determined life force, that are all intrinsic to your being and not some external influence. When you feel fear, as you’ve stated in previous posts, I can tell you have tendencies to jump up into your head which turns fear to anxiety. So this compromises the second way, experiencing life as fully and as deeply in your being. Not long ago I jumped off a pier at around 12AM that’s known to have sharks atlas well as a history of shark attacks, I swam way out and then came back. Could I have done that if I was stuck in my head? Absolutely not. Could I have done that if I wasn’t in my body? Where I was calm, etc. Absolutely not. Could I have been calm if I wasn’t existentially bound to the present moment, feeling at the visceral level that that I wasn’t just this body but that I was going to make this body mine by moving it how I wanted when I wanted all things being equal? Absolutely not. Did I have some fear? Yes I did, but it didn’t overwhelm me. Because I was not stuck in my head or even just my body, I was stuck in my full awareness. Awareness of my body, awareness of my experience. Wasn’t I worried about throwing my life away? It’s not about this, this is not even a relevant question. It’s a test of your spirituality, how well you’ve come to feel your inner experience beyond the superficial understandings and experiences of life. You want to be Joe Blow who just sits on the couch watching television after work never thinking about anything or experiencing something truly meaningful to his intrinsic self? This is what it takes, it is both a sensual felt experience and a strong resonant experience, these powers you become familiar with learning to change and augment depending on how familiar you become with them. Or, like Joe, you just become familiar with familiar experiences. Society does not want you to be free of your mind and body, they rely on you being alive so you can continue to feed the machine. What is that machine? It’s a Dream Machine, here we’ll call it any societies Dream Machine or just the byproduct of the multiplicity of a shared consciousness experience that has multiplied out to the generation of what we refer to as “culture” that gets injected into the veins of what you believe like morphine but instead of numbing out pain most of the time these cultures numb out life which creates pain. This Dream Machine paints projections in your imagination about how life is, how you are, how people are and generates a story about how society is, how you will die and what happens when people die and what happens before you are born. You rely on the Dream Machine to tell you everything about life, you do your google searches, you watch your Netflix, you read your books, you watch your stupid comedy shows to get a brief but meaningless dopamine hit, you make chit chat at the water tank during work breaks, you fuck Sally on Sunday that wants a nice house by the beach someday and you meet Chris each Friday for a game of snooker to talk about office politics and what a douche the boss is sometimes. Life is a “familiar experience” to you, but you still don’t know fucking shit because you’re bound up in illusory fears, beliefs, desires and so on that you never even put there. The Dream Machine did. You’ve never learned to have authority over every fucking muscle contraction you make, everything you feel, every mother fucking breath you take. Instead you leave it up to your boss, or “wait no maybe Jim from down the hall who covered for me last Tuesday for work will be able to tell me how to think!”, “oh wait no I’ve used up everything there this time I have to cover for him you know what I’ll ask this random person on actualised dot org how to get to my raw essence!”. Are you kidding me? You’ve lived on this planet ? for however long you have and you haven’t at least once slapped yourself out of your existential hypnosis that was rammed up your ass from the bootlicking cocksuckers called your ancestors for thousands of generations? You just want to your local bookstore and read a few books on personal development and thought gee wiz that was dandy! Now listen, I like books, I love educating myself on many things, I love comedy, etc, etc but I know what’s up there as well, I see the traps. So I sit with what’s real about life as much as possible and work to create the greatest imagination my mind can produce. Beyond the curve. 1. Seeing the order of your minds hypnosis Meditate but take notes after your sessions, noting all the projections, thoughts, beliefs and so on that occurred so you can get an understanding of the Dream Machine and discriminate between what’s authentic to you and what’s a mirage created by that machine 2. Get out of your head Get out in nature, you don’t have to swim with sharks or crocodiles but do something that shocks your system into experiencing your body as fully as possible, that forces you to experience the present moment as fully as possible 3. Tune in to your heart space What is going on in your heart? Can you feel emotions? Can you feel love? Identify through the felt experience what you feel, sit with those experiences, can you feel your inner experience yet that is slightly beyond the periphery of merely emotions? That’s your core, you’re now going to learn to use it as an anchoring point to be a driving force for how you learn to bring about changes in your state in the direction you want. 4. Tune into your consciousness space do you feel the emptiness there or are there thoughts flying around? If you’re experiencing thoughts search deeper beyond any intellectualisation until you start to feel and experience that emptiness as a phenomenological property. Now remember the anchoring point I told you to mark before in your heart now I want you to create an anchoring point here in your consciousness space as well. Secondly I want you to draw an imaginary line between the two and right down your whole body. 5. The real you do you now feel more you? What thoughts do you have about it? Nothing. Does it feel raw? Does it feel like it could be easily broken? Does it feel closer to what might be akin to a “soul space”? Does it feel closer to you now experiencing your inner energetic life signature independent of the Dream machine? This is what I want you to become more familiar with. To create your personal goals with, to move closer towards truth with, to experience more self honesty with yourself, to move deeper into the primordial self in both your experiences of pushing the boundaries in your life and going deeper into the mind through your meditation. People follow various kinds you take your pick I do wim hof breathing. Though a very beautiful woman with an exquisitely sexy soul once suggested kriya yoga to me and I’ve enjoyed the few sessions I’ve had there. 6. Put down the remote control of life life isn’t Netflix, life isn’t here to be viewed, observed, advertised or anything along these lines that the Dream Machine of modern western culture wants you to believe. It’s to be felt and experienced first and foremost, and lived fully of which your intellect plays a crucial but only supplementary aspect to being. Life is competitive though of course so be careful about underestimating it in the context of the Dream Machine, just don’t hang your hat on it to be intrinsic to your state of being like many people are influenced to do in various Scientific and philosophical strains. 7. take up art you need to start using regions of your mind that force you to think for yourself rather than just learning to follow some guidelines by some guy on the internet, a person in a book or a guy on the television, etc. Start free associative drawing or just something analogous that gets you at the centre point of how this Dream Machine was created in the first place, at the edges of limits and into the beginnings of possibility. 8. You get the picture You seem like a relatively intelligent person, you can fill in the rest otherwise I’ll just be a book on a shelf that gave you some dopamine that you should have fed yourself with through your own authentic discoveries, creative and otherwise.

@Someone here hurting someone I really loved. The look on their face... I can imagine a few different people. It’s terrifying. Not that I couldn’t handle it a part of me could easily, but the raw authentic part of me would never want to see a loved one go through needless pain and suffering, let alone that which was inflicted by me. I’d rather carry that burden myself for them if I could, any kind. It’s nice to see people here are all being totally self honest with themselves, it’s refreshing to see .Honestly, why are you so afraid of actually doing something productive like either being brave enough to post a genuine fear or move onto the next thread topic? It’s all kind of nauseating to see people pretending to say something meaningful on this site at times.

^ Pet lookalikes. Going for the O (instead of the X). Something like this I just quickly worked up - minus the poor resolution of course:

@Chumbimba Your confidence comes from getting to your raw fucking essence. Not women. Most women are clowns. You should be discriminating not trying to “become more confident”, that’s a suckers game. Find realness. Most of them are scared and vulnerable with heavy amounts of brainwashing, and you’re trying to become more confident with them? Look I get it, but you’re meant to be protecting them, you’ll see that, your confidence that they want to see as well comes from you knowing your deepest fucking essence on a raw visceral level and if she doesn’t know hers, being vulnerable enough throughout the process to help her find hers. There’s a deep primordial subconscious that lurks inside your mind, how the hell are you going to own that shit by “talking to one woman a day to become more confident”, honestly I feel like I’m watching a kids Monday morning of show and tell at school, no, your force thunders inward to outward to the world as a consequence of you unearthing the deepest layers of your being into the highest dominance you can give this fucking planets extension. One day you’ll see this, but then maybe not. This is deep fucking wisdom that you gotta contemplate in the quietest, deepest and most intelligent parts of your being. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU BROTHER?

Okay that's that, knock down Mt. Everest and erect my statue for people to climb instead I'm done with this journal for at least a couple of days. I'll come back then and rework the template so everything is organised better at the top of my crown here. Person claims they were the first person ever to climb my statue just as they would Mt. Everest, "No you weren't the first, my secret lover and I were fucking each other senseless at the top long before any other human even started to realise its existence let alone begin to track it to the crown".

I plan on murdering someone fluent in Italian, preferably non-native. This will solve everything.

Fuck the X, I'm just going to do something more in line with my personality. Which would be to create my own language and thus completely my own symbol. That's more me and so that's how it has to be.

I need more colour... So. Now searching for said variants. Topic begins here: https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/62112-march-5-album-month-demo-classical-rap-creative-indie-bluespiano/?do=findComment&comment=849061

More logo ideas - beginning starts here - https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/62112-march-5-album-month-demo-classical-rap-creative-indie-bluespiano/?do=findComment&comment=849061

Compiling a sweep of X logo's then designing my own. One's I have so far. Will likely collect tens to hundreds more. There's lots of interesting dynamics from story to subtlety behind the logos that is interesting to analyse.

Haha. Baritone/Tenor or something, I can get way up there and way down there. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Note to self: For this months artwork as a part of the presentation of the songs I'm simply doing 5 pieces of photoshop artwork, 1 per album, that I slap on every song within the albums set to paint the theme / set the tone. Otherwise skills I need to build overtime regarding presentation: Adobe Premiere + Photoshop (at least 10-15 min for each per day) As my skills improve there the time it takes to create extra art as a part of the presentation of the music will take less and less time, for example if I were to create a music video for every song we're looking at an increase of at least 60 hours and for photoshop art I'm looking at an extra 30 hours at least. So naturally its a better idea to just devote the latter's 30 hours towards 5 good photoshop art pieces and use whatever leg room I have left there to polish the edges off on everything.

French; Chinese; German and Greek (the latter having sentimental origins - fathers side).

Well, turns out no matter how much will power I have it doesn't just make a dislocated shoulder injury go away. I can play (music), practice and compose which has been a massive plus for me however well naturally (at least now I realise this) its just going to take a little longer than expected to get the smoothness I need to do decent recordings. Yesterday morning I felt great and I wanted to up my physio into boxing so I plan on getting a punching bag next week when I have the time but anyhow I thought a good substitute would be some styrofoam (I have heaps) that I could just lay into. Which I did. Felt so fucking fantastic. Tore that shit up. Thought I was doing my shoulder some good. I wasn't. Felt pretty tender later in the day, the same today but now feels better after I've given it more physio. [I know my theory is correct in the long run it just means I'll have to wait an extra week or so] I'll be spending some time with my physiotherapist over the weekend so that'll be good. My personal motto is you have to learn to play with fire in order to tame it, that's just the way I live. So although it didn't workout for me I still consider it a creative act. Injury teaches us lessons. Never be afraid to step out into the darkness of life, that's how creating anything great starts at all. Naturally there's going to be a longer than expected delay on my release date but I'll be still fucking going at it, making sure I stay on track with keeping in with next months release. Anyhow, it's given me more time to focus on other important things I find value in as well as discovering a broader perception on preparation vs fire. I've been smashing the treadmill lately as well seeing I can't do any weights. Just fucking gunning it (this time with good prep as opposed to what I did with my shoulder).

Okay so just recently dislocated my shoulder causing me to throw out my schedule a lot. I need to write about my experiences though. Intimately. So I can encode all the nuances in memory and figure out how I'll use it to drive me forward post recovery. There's this saying, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" but my response to that is only if we integrate the experiences. And only if we recall that integration. Okay that's it for the first entry. I'll talk about what I mean by Universal Selfhood at a later time, it's been incubating in my subconscious for a while now only recently really coming to the surface of fully articulated conscious experience.

@NorthNow Listen you're just playing mostly with projections of your own mind outside the natural spiritual psychic space. So what's to let go of other than the images you have? You must focus on connecting with who they truly are and who you truly are then what will be will be. You must contemplate this. So deeply. So fucking deeply. Get right to the core of your awareness. You connect with RIGHT fucking now, leave the projective mind on the table like you would leave your keys and forget them as you go out into the world and feel at the visceral level the essence of existence. Finally, what are you letting go of other than the fear of letting go? Are you afraid of not having love in your heart? What the fuck does love have to do with an image you have in your mind? When you see a person you truly and deeply love you don't connect with them purely through the image you have in your mind, you can feel it as you search in your mind there's something deeper. So how is that something deeper ever going to come into conflict with the trauma you've experienced? This layer within your psyche can be overcome by stretching limits of your being on a single point within awareness which is the centre of awareness itself. This shows you all of reality that you will ever have to deal with, this shows you all the love you will ever need to have in your heart and you can confidently say fuck off to everything else. Because right there, that's where you feel truth, that's where you make something at the beginning of existence which is creative, because where the fuck was anything else other than a memory of being the beginning of existence? We experience snapshots of time, you experience this in snapshots of time, who the fuck were you when you started reading this comment eh? No body to you now, just a memory, you're right fucking here. So what are you letting go other than the fear of letting go of something false? Be right here, be true. Then however anyone not just your family comes to you, like me after I press the submit button, you will experience them with all the love you're meant to give, because you're sitting with the truth of who you really are at the centre of your awareness in that moment. Who knows where the fuck this shit comes from, get out of your head, sit in your body and we say it comes from feeling, but fuck the labels as well, its your awareness. Does your awareness hold onto things? Or does it experience them as fully as you are aware? Do you think when your family sees you and let's say everything is good, do you think they want you to experience the memory of them or as they fucking fully are right then and there as your awareness if they're coming to you purely? You've got it. You're on your way now. The rest is your puzzle. Now you're a fucking real spiritual being, before you were just a wandering soul lost in the circus that was injected into your consciousness through the tunnel and social funnel of time perceived through the limitations of our growth up to this point. You've found yourself through these words. We use language to create worlds and here I am teaching you to get out of the one you've created for yourself to keep you a prisoner of your own mind about how you think not truly feel about the people you know. You may say, "but I feel!", search a little deeper in awareness, like really push it in your being, you will say that there is a boundary beyond that point that completely, totally and utterly understands where I am coming from and needs no further explanation after this full stop.

@SamC I have to like someone though to take a bribe haha. So I wouldn't bother at this point. It's called the liking bias. Otherwise I'm viciously sticking to what I believe.

@SamC No. Absolutely zero correlation. There is a correlation between awareness and awareness. Don't confuse personality at all with awareness. If you want to do so, make a case for it and i'll genuinely listen but don't make shots in the dark because the boogey man (me) will pounce on them.

@Preety_India Hey Preety I've been having a lot of progress with the Wim Hof method there are various levels of course here's two just thought I'd share maybe useful maybe not, absolutely though for me. Blessings to you girl you can so get through this one step at a time! Here's an explanation with Russell, extremely credible stuff. You know me well know I'm a straight down the line no bullshit kind of guy, I wouldn't at all be suggesting it if I wasn't very passionate about its legitimacy. Best. h

@zeroISinfinity Welcome to making zero sense again. Avoid linking my name again, I'd appreciate that. Thank you.

@zeroISinfinity Yes I feel your heart pulsating mine right now, thank you so much I can't break my sweat no matter how many tissues I dress my naked body in thank you for correcting me! Not. Love is operational to awareness, you wouldn't be able to even come up with an answer without awareness. Drop dead (not literally ) into understanding then we'll be able to either have a conversation or you'll just agree with me (or move on like any other ego would). I'd go with the second choice, trust me, that's your more reliable option.