Globalcollective

missing the point completely there, I know some guys who did have to approach 100s of girls before he found his 5/10 gf. To get better with girls generally you have to go out and interact with lots of them. whatever goal you won't from it is up to you but for some people it is very hard and they have to put the work in even to get very average success. But whats the alternative moan and be a loser?

@John Mitchell What will it actually take for you to stop whining and just sort out this problem? get off the internet and just start talking to girls, I get it your sacred of rejection. that is what this boils down too, but there is literally no other option. You say Leo should advocate some kind of healthy dating approach but not matter what you will have to end up face to face talking to girls no matter what route you take. GO OUT! tho yes wait till the pandemic is over then do it.

No offence mate but your totally missing the point and not seeing this correctly. Stop looking at what other people are doing and focus on your journey. Clearly your strategy is not working and you have to face up to facts. You do not have a choice, you are ok to whine about the pain this is causing you but when someone outlines how to get out of it you reject it. Fact of the matter is you have to get out there and start interacting with girls. you should aim to approach as many as it takes and because you are already developed in other areas you will avoid all the pitfalls that doing something like this can bring. If I took your logic I would of ended up an Incel but I chose to just man up and take action. And also you have to experience a few different women to even know what it is you want in one. This can be done in a heathy way to just move to a busy city and try and cold approach around 10 to 30 girls a week see what works best for you and eventually you start getting results. Took me about 1.5 years to really get a good grip on it. So stop your complaining and get out there. Also try and hire a coach who can help u. Good luck and say good buy to being a incel. Eventually you will laugh at how easy it is to get laid

@creator20 there is an answer for incels and its called pick up/PUA. Thats what the whole dating industry for men is for, incels. Problem is pua also got toxic and eventually got shunned by mainstream societie and is frowned upon. Men can actually learn how to relate and attract women, the problem is though its quite hard and can take people along time to understand so instead of going through pain to grow into a more attractive man they choose to bypass it with toxic ideologues like incel. When I was younger there was no incel culture just rsd /pickup so it was alot more popular and I saw first hand broken men who were terrible with women slowly get better at meeting and attracting them. Myself included. I think there is a calling now for a emergence of healthy dating advice for guys because rsd was good but had alot of toxic ideas also. I think alot of this is also due to young guys living in an online generation. They don't get out as much anymkre and see how humans interact face to face, rather they look at stats from things like dating apps and social media. So there perception is not based on real life experience. If they just spent abit of time learning how attraction worked then went out and met 500 to 1000 new girls theyd start to understand it. Not easy by anymeans as they will get rejected alot along the way.

Yep great books, keeping a healthy sex life is key. Can be hard the longer you are with someone so have to be creative

Blueprint decoded is a good foundation, a lot of there old videos on youtube were good around 2013 to 2014.Brian Begin from the fearless man is also quite good. He adds some spiritual concepts too. I found RSD Alex quite useful too if you can find some of his old videos. Watching lots of infields can help. Yes feeling whole without the need for them is key then you can add more value to them. Do you go out alot?

@StarStruck Old RSD was great for learning to be social but they got put back in there box by METOO and PC culture. I mean they did ask for it. You can learn to be social by just forcing yourself into as many situations you find uncomfortable as possible whilst also learning the dynamics of how to social at the same time. Probably the biggest key in being socially savvy is calibration. Knowing how to adjust how your acting in response to the other person. Also high level of self acceptance and being in the moment makes it more possible for this to happen. People love when you are in a good vibe and enjoying yourself and don't take yourself to seriously.

Yeah I have been thinking about this for awhile, I definitely have one or two toxic friends similar to how you describe them but we have been friends for years and over time developed close bonds but the more I grow on my path of choice the less I resonate with there toxicity. Letting them go would hurt them and there is a part of me not wanting to but another part that its not worth it. Its a problem because you can't really be authentic about it and try and have a chat with them as they will just get defensive ect. I guess ultimately there is a line and if they take a toll on your emotional heath then why bother ? seems the most rational way to approach it.

Hes not asking if you should speculate if someone is enlightened or not. He probably knows that already its silly to care. If someone is claiming full blow enlightenment nothing wrong with speculating. @sausagehead I like this guy a lot he seems like a good hearted dude and me and him have some very similar personality traits and both make wacky videos about counciness. However he is making some bold claims, that he is fully enlightened in a very short amount of time. I think he def has had some kind of awakening but I don't think he's even close to fully enlightened but then again my bench mark for full enlightenment is very high. As shinzen young said 3 months of none stop torture without one moment of suffering. I don't think frank would last a day. But I could very well be wrong and I hope for his sake I am. Much love and respect to him tho he is doing some great things and is highly creative

@Leo Gura Didn't he die before Shapiro became well known ? where did you hear that

@MsNobody ah interesting, atleast your aware of this. It's not that uncommon. One of my friends has the same problem. Yeah, maybe outline what it is exactly you want to get from men and relationships. I assume to no longer be attracted to thos type of guys anymore. Have you considered going celebate for awhile and take some time to heal this trauma with your dad? Also working on your spirtual growth can really help with this. This really helped me with this area as I started to get way more control over my emotions and lust and was able to stop myself getting into the wrong relationships or having sex with the wrong people. But if you still young and exploring nothing wrong with experimenting and seeing what you like and don't but its seems like your becoming to aware for that ? I assume

I think you just answered your own question, maybe be mindful in sleeping with someone quickly or if you do know you might feel this way after you do it. The better option would be to get to know them more and feel out there character more amd you can get a better sense of how they will be after sex. Your right tho its more a male thing to feel that unless the guy is needy after sex. Also could be a more deeper issue like a trauma or form of love avoidance, I use to use sex as a way to escape trauma and avoid love. Are you the one who was asking Leo for advice for pick up for girls?

@electroBeam ahahah yeah man ?, it is a shame people are not trying to be more aware with the stuff ay

@electroBeam yeah man for sure I don't disagree with you, I generally would never have sex without conection and I prefer a good samadhi or jhana over sex anyday. Unless you have a kundalini orgasm. I've been praticing tantra and working on my sexual energy for years I'm pretty experienced in that stuff and had some incredibly deep experiences and connections along the way. I'm just trying to get you to lossen up abit about it you just seem abit reactional about "sex without a connection" its really not as big of a deal as you say. I use to be like you also and militant about sex without conection is not good for soul but now I've come to just loosen up on it. If people wanna shag like rabbits its all good and its really not as bad as people make it out to be. We choose not to do it as there are better things we could be doing for ourselfs but if people wanna eat some chocolate cake instead of a salad let them

@electroBeam that can definitely be a reason if your insecure about your masculinity but also just being really horny is the main one. For me anyway. I do agree with what your saying, there is definitely a higher path to take with this. But I'd let to see how you'd react if super hot chicks were throwing themselves at you left right and center. Even so called enlightened masters have given in when they become well known and girls start worshiping them. The sexual energy is powerful and you have to be careful not to suppress it, having sex is fine and is not that big of a deal providing you go about it in the right way.

yea I agree with @Inliytened1 it can take some time getting use to and can also cause really disruption to your life genrally but I think it actually starts to make life even better. Your free to create whatever meaning you want and also zoom out when you need to if things get messy

I think try both and see for yourself and then decided. The older you get and the more you grow will also change how you approach this. I dated around when younger and was fun in a way but now I definitely wouldn't do that now, being with multiple people will take up a lot of time and energy that could be spent on other things. One person is bad enough. But when your younger it seems to be more doable. Also some people naturally have higher sex drives and more energy so you might be one of them that could pull it off. Also another thing to bare in mind on a spiritual level is they say if you sleep with people you are not fully connected with its damaging to your soul on a spiritual level. Not sure how true that it but its worth baring in mind.

This is super interesting I can definitely relate to this, on the one hand no fap makes me feel amazing but eventually the pendulum swings the other way and I get to horny and end up sleeping I didn't connect with or relapse. The middle ground seems to be the healthiest way, I pretty much am always on no fap and sacred to ejaculate because of the low I feel afterwards but maybe if I start doing it more I will get use to it.

@MsNobody I use to be a massive player when I was younger and was even a dating coach for men for a bit. When I 'woke up' so to speak my whole approach to dating started to completely change and I started to treat women very well whilst at the same time giving them exactly what they wanted. I generally think there are conscious men out there who are also not beta and have game but use it for good, tho they might be quite rare tho I know a few guys like this. From the sounds of it I would say you should start to hold off and screen men hard to see if they are this type of guy. And if they are not maybe don't bother. Start to learn how to gain control over your urges, just because a man is say attractive dose not mean much, they need to give you more if you ask this for yourself. wait for someone who is growing consciously, solid in himself, is free of toxic masculinity and who will help you grown as well as giving u great sex. (also someone who won't treat u like shit). Say I dunno someone like Russel brand, he's gone through that hedonistic phase and knows how to please a women but has started to really mature. Thats the way I approach it now when meeting women, I just screen super hard and I am super picky. But I can be as there is a Hugh abundance of girls out there as well as men for a hot chick who has her shit together. Also think about what sort of girl a man like this would want. I have always wondered whats the best way for women to approach dating in a conscious way., there is matt Hussey but Im not sold on him. Thats just my two cents but Id imgaine like Leo said there must be much better advice out there with an experienced women in this area.

Yeah well I'm not going to validate it because deep down I know full well you don't want to suffer anymore in this area. The fact of the matter is you could learn how to get girls if you want and the choice is yours. so from here on in I would only post questions now related to helping you in that area. Ive seen this first hand, 100s of guys who sucked put in the effort and eventually got meaningful relationships. I coached some of them. Sorry to be harsh with you but I really think its the only way to get through to you. If you lived in the UK id happily sort you out myself lol There was of course the ones who did nothing and complained and ended up lonely or depressed. Its interesting about your Instagram point. I guess thats the problem with your generation, you have grown up with the rise of toxic social media and its wrapped your perception. Put it this way if you learned game and you approached her in real life it would be a different story. Regarding your hangup about looks, its probably coming from a deep trauma within you. Doing some inner work and psychotherapy will be good for you. Also some self love pratices. Obviously this isn't the best time to be going out meeting women so the best thing to do would be to use this time wisely and study some game material, do as much inner work as you can and when Covid starts to clear get your ass out there and change this once and for all

Ok so the first you you should be doing is working on fixing these beliefs. I only used the term "unattractive' to illustrate the point you don't need to be good looking. A high quality women would much prefer a deeply connected and grounded man with purpose and vision. Which is hopefully what you are aiming to become ? Why are you doing this to yourself? There is a solution to your problems. Go out, socialised and learn how to relate to people and women whilst fixing your inner game. I feel the fact that people now go online more than they go out has caused a huge misconception on how people interact with each other. Please tell me what are you waiting for?? If you don't want to take action then fine that's cool but if you suffer because of this don't complain about it as you are essentially lying on your own bed of nails.

yeah he just needs to go out more and stop spending all that money on coaching and just get experience. I was a hardcore newbie also and took probably more approaches than Leo to get my first proper result. He needs to get at least 500 approaching in then revaualte, lets face it some people are just lazy and need to fix there mindset. I prob got rejected over a 1000s times and I never complained once because I knew deep down I would get there if I just kept going and low and behold I did.

@arlin Hey man, I use to be in your position. How old are you? When I was younger I was terrible with girls like beyond bad. However back then the only stuff online I could find was RSD and pick up. There is a lot of misleading stuff out now that can really mess with your head. I spent well over 5 years deep in game so have 1000s of hours of experience so I know what its like to suck and it make you very depressed to then getting it handled to then leaving it completely to embark on a spiritual journey to the big E. I even use to coach it back in the day but I forget how much suffering this can be for people so Im up for helping someone out. Where do you live? First regarding the looks thing, your right to some degree. Looks do help, they get you a "in" and in some cases it can be a very big in where you don't have to put that much effort in however developing your ability to relate to women and embracing your masculinity and sexuality is way more important. Ive got a lot of male model friends and they do not get the best results. I know some pretty unattractive guys who could wipe the floor with them. Also I got to be honest here even if your super attractive it generally dose not make a difference with the super high quality girls you would want to date. Anyway, what can you do. 1. Move to a big city with lots of people. 2. Learn some basics ways to talk and relate to women and start going out and practising it. Go to bars, do some daygame, join clubs, make new friends , try making new female friends and just get yourself out there. 3. Start working inwards on why you have hangups with women, why are you not getting sex and relationships. Start to try and see if you can pinpoint the issues. 4. work on your fashion 5. find other people on the same journey who can inspire you. 6. Enjoy it as it will be one of the most fun parts of your life and you will look back with a lot of fond memories. 7. Look at potentially hiring a dating coach. The fearless man seems pretty good, old rsd. 8. Be very mindful to not get sucked into pua culture, see Leos video on PUA. 9. Hit the gym, getting bigger just seems to help. 10. MMA and BJJ are great for overall confidence. Like anything this is a skill that can be learned but just do it in a holistic way. The dangers are that PUA and mens dating advice can come with some toxicity and you can become addicted to sex. That happened to me if your approaching women all the time it can mess with your brain the same way porn dose but If your coming from the right place you should be bee to avoid this and get this sorted in a relatively short amount of time. 2 years maybe more all depending on how you take to it. Anyway get of the internet and get your ass out there interacting with women and you'll soon come to see its reality not that big of a deal and its very fun. Then when your ready you'll go back to being celibate, this time voluntary as you'll lear you were chasing your tail and you will go uber spiritual. Or just happily married or whatever.

@Javfly33 yeah Ive been in similar situations, I once ended up living with the Russian mafia. I put some effort in making friends with the boss who was the crazy one and it got me out of a lot of potential violent situations with them. I even lent him like 20£ knowing he was not going to pay me back but I knew he would stay out my way incase I tired to ask for it back. Worked a charm ahah. Ive also had other similar situations. My advice would be try and make an effort to make friends with him, if that dose not work, learn to fight. MMA is prob the best gives you all the tools you need. Don't let him push you around, most tough people are generally very nice its the insecure people who can't fight that feel the need to act like that. Its really about not showing fear when you stand up for yourself. If he clearly is a maniac however then just move out and don't put yourself in danger.