Robert Leavitt

@TheAvatarState I don't believe the ego is programmed to self destruct. The statements you are making are broad generalizations. It was explained earlier about Johnny picking up a core belief that he is not worth of love. Or he is unwanted. Everyone's ego is different, and not everyone has that self destructive pattern programmed into them at an early age. Only certain individuals have that programming. This is apparent because there are countless people on the planet who don't self destruct. There are countless individuals that don't "self-destruct" While everyone's ego technically is capable of holding that particular belief, not everyone actually holds that belief, not everyone thinks exactly the same because not everyone has the same beliefs. If we all had the same beliefs, we would all react exactly the same to any given situation, and obviously that's not true.

Starstruck, I know it is uncomfortable, but my opinion..is that if you ever want to really to make progress in your healing / spiritual journey (whatever you define that as) is #2. There is no growth without vulnerability and pain. Also what Average Investor says here is important: If I were you (which I'm not...but...) If I were you I would ignore what everyone else is currently saying at go watch that video. Look people have opinions, we can sit here all day long speculating about why other people react how they do, or what they may say...or what the weather will be tomorrow, but those are all assumptions. Cut out all that "wondering" crap and go watch that video so you can find yourself in a place to make POWERFUL decisions. Other people's opinions of you, and what you are doing, are so completely irrelevant and totally unimportant to your current situation. I Support you in whatever decision you make, I'm glad you are here trying to get some answers. Peace and Love, Robert

@from chaos into self I rarely suffer anymore. But I used to suffer...badly. I had BiPolar and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. It took a lot of work, I took up Christianity, I started praying like crazy and then I did a TON of work. Surrendering to the present moment is difficult, especially if you haven't done any work on the core beliefs that drive all the thoughts that we have, "Automatic" thoughts. Or "Sticky" thought patterns that are super persistent. REBT was a huge help for me. I learned to practice acceptance, and just let things be the way they are. I know it all sounds kinda made up and mystical, and I can't give you a direct answer that will fit exactly what you need at this exact moment, but I encourage you to keep trying. One day it just clicks and it's like "OHHHHH...." and you can experience a series of "A-HA" moments that can change everything forever. Don't give up, it can happen. It happened to me and it was a huge miracle, but I was focused entirely on the process and the using of tools..not the results. The results came because of an almost fanatical obsession of diligently using tools...not dwelling on my pain and misery. Peace and Love, Robert

Hi Pat, I have been where you are now. I felt exactly the same way when I was your age. I want to look at the quote here in this post. When did you decide that you were stupid? Was it because someone else told you that when you were younger (or even currently in your life)....at what point did you define yourself that way? Of all the things that you wrote (all which I totally can relate to, the fear of the unknown...) This one little paragraph is the one that is GLARING to me. Be kind to yourself...if you can learn to be kind to yourself, the rest of the "problems" will start to go away. It's really hard to make decisions when you talk to yourself that way. Thoughts that sound like this: "Oh my God I'm so stupid" "Why did I do that I'm such an idiot?" "I'm so worthless, how could I be so dumb?" That's shame and guilt, you are shaming and devaluing YOURSELF...don't do that..!?! That's been my personal experience, and I hope that it helps. You are not stupid. You are actually light years ahead of most others your age, because you are here, asking questions....that makes you AWESOME. I wasn't asking questions at your age... Robert

@laurel Hi Laurel, I spent a lot of time early in my growth trying to find that "perfect" community. It turns out there are several communities that exist, and they are all the same in my opinion. They all have individuals who are more "conscious" than others and then there will be other people who are less conscious in any given group of people...there is no given group of people that has "all" the answers. Today I do something different. Instead of looking for the "group" I just take myself with me everywhere I go... What does that mean? Instead of focusing on what's wrong with them (whoever them are, family, friend, the boss, etc...) I focus on what I am doing, and how I am thinking and ultimately how I react to the situations. I work on changing my attitude, and that becomes infectious. Just like resentment, self pity, envy, self doubt, fears, etc...all of that is infectious too...well so is joy, caring, compassion, acceptance.. Now this takes practice, but...it's possible to reach a point where you just love everyone and you don't even see the things that are "wrong" with them. If I were you, I would be exactly where you are planted and learn to make that awesome..... Peace and Love, Robert

Yes, there is absolutely some value to these personality tests. The one that I believe has the most accuracy or beneficial information is the Big 5 Personality test. It is simple, and easy to understand. But once you have taken the test once you can't retake the test immediately or you will be biased and get different results. I took a course that Dr. Jordan Peterson had released online called "Discovering Personality", and before that I took the test "Understand Myself" where they take each of the 5 traits into 2 aspects each. He has done decades of research on this topic. There are amazing correlations that allow us to predict with some certainty certain things about individuals in term of their financial success, and what types of employees they can become. (And a lot of other things too). They can also tell you a lot about your emotional state, and what makes you behave the way you do. You can learn a tremendous wealth of information from these kinds of tests, if you are willing to look deep into yourself. The results, can be alarming, but..you would have some idea of who you are and a good starting point for changing (if you wanted to change)... Robert

The real question to ask yourself is... Why do other people's opinions of me bother me so much? Make a decision...then decide its the best decision you have ever made. Do you find yourself needing to explain yourself constantly? If you do, drop that, other people's opinions of you / what you are doing, really are none of your business. All that being said, the reason they look at you funny is it goes against their belief system. We were raised to "get a job".. it's been programmed into us since early childhood. I encourage you to continue to explore spirituality and work on yourself. The earlier you do, the better the rest of your life can be. Perhaps you also hold that belief, which is causing you the inner turmoil in the first place. Anyway, these are just ideas...I would not focus on other people's opinions and reactions of what I am doing, and focus on my path and what I need to do. Peace and Love, Robert

Absolutely. I have been so happy for 3 years, and I just felt incredibly moved to start trying to help others. But having found this forum, I thought what a great opportunity to share with Leo how he has helped me. He really has too, it's amazing. I am so grateful now that I am grateful. What an amazing feeling that can be!

Leo, Love your work, I have listened to a lot of your videos. I was a massive total perfectionist and I had this tremendous spiritual awakening (dare I say enlightenment) here, through a long series of efforts with various sources I was able to break through this tremendous pain that I was in and become centered and balanced. In this process I spent a ton of time looking on the internet to try to find information regarding what I had figured out. Your video on perfectionism is the only one I found that really addresses and describes the real issues at hand. The majority of information out there, while mostly all valid, never really addresses the fact that the harsh criticisms and constant bickering because our expectations not being met, is the source of a tremendous amount of physical pain and suffering. The vast majority of information deals with work related stuff (Which is fine, but...it's so much more than that). I had the awakening before I saw your video. I used a technique called thought stopping, and I had this experience where I became more humble than I had ever been. Basically consisting of fixing new beliefs like "I have no right to think of this person this way". Or .. even better than that, when I stop judging situations all together. I learned how to give others a break, and in the process, I gave myself a HUGE break. The other thing I found is that I was tremendously prejudicial. I believe it was a result of my perfectionism and all the assumptions I would make, that would then begin fixing more beliefs (I thought it...so it has to be true!), to build an even worse story on top of the bad core beliefs to begin with. Constantly cynical and rationalizing/justifying everything. Somehow .. I had the change of heart. I saw the error in my ways and I forgave the whole world (and myself) and God all at once. Now I'm a super peaceful, fun loving kind, person who really does love everyone. I haven't had an emotional outburst or raised my voice in anger for years.. I went from being an angry, resentful, selfish little entitled child who could not take responsibility for anything, to..... something much better. Peace and Love, Robert Leavitt p.s. To all the naysayers out there...believe in yourself. You can change...I did it, anyone can do it. It's not about having answers. It's about knowing the right questions to ask. What kind of person do you really want to be? What kind of life do you want to have? Everyone is exactly where they want to be, but only successful people want to admit it.

You know it's rough because I certainly don't want to be the type of person that says "play it safe, and find a job" but.. In your situation, with your age and current experience in life it may be in your best interest to do so. I had to work for several years pouring concrete (still do sometimes), to get the capital together to venture off on to my own. If I was your age, I would also definitely set aside time daily to work on yourself. Leo has AMAZING videos an insight into the journey of self awareness. Best of luck, keep us updated. Stay out of self-pity and resentment and worry if at all possible. They don't help.

@Preetom I can see why you would be labeled a nihilist. I agree that there are things in life that can cause great distress. I agree that setting happiness as a goal is .. not a great idea really. It depends on where it comes from, if there are core beliefs that would lead an individual to belief that they are entitled to happiness, then they are going to be disappointed time and time again. That being said, setting an intention to bring peace, joy, happiness or whatever other label you want to give it into your life is not a bad idea. It's the process that is important. I focus on being kind and caring towards others. I focus on setting aside my selfish wants and desires, and try to be grateful and appreciative for what I have...this in turns lead to a state which is far better than the word "happiness" can describe. It's not about me and my own personal wants anymore. It's about trying to make a positive impact on the lives of others. That's where things can become amazing. I just do stuff...whatever is in front of me, I leave the results up to God (or the Universe if you will). Makes for a better day.