intotheblack

Well this is normal with healthy relationships. I also wouldn’t want a husband who was 90% working. the thing is, most people don’t have the privilege of not having to work. Women work after leaving school, they want to have their own money to buy what they want etc. don’t want to be asking permission to buy something or asking for money. Eventually if have a child I would want to stay home for the first 3 years. Then I would continue to work part time. Or if I could work from home, whilst staying with the baby i would do that. Its especially important to be present with the child in the first 3ish years of life, this is when the blueprint is set. what I don’t agree with is that the woman should be expected to do everything whilst the husband works all of the time and is doing what he wants, and wanting to control finances. And then he doesn’t have time for the family either. I have resistance towards this because this was my parents marriage so I’ve seen it first hand. my mam was very stage blue and my dad stage red/orange

Or what it seems to be is that it’s more about the attitude or mindset of the person, rather than the career itself. The issue arises if the woman is cold and detached, and working let’s say what might be perceived as a ‘mans job’ or a job that consumes a lot of time and there is no time left for pursuing relationships. Which I would also add that a man doing the same thing would also not have fulfilling relationships since he would also not have time for that. there seems to be this image that if a woman has independence and doesn’t want to be financially dependant upon someone, then she will only get some weak ass man who wants to be controlled lol Also what is being assumed here is that said woman is striving for success for the purpose of believing that this will help her attract a man. Or that if the woman is successful it must mean she’s not as physically attractive so is choosing career to try and make herself more attractive (in the way that men do) which I don’t think is the case, for women they are doing that more out or choice, not because they think it will attract more men. —- If the woman has all the feminine traits, whilst at the same time having a career and making her own money, she won’t have problems to attract a man ? Would you feel more comfortable if the woman was successful in some feminine related job, such as.. self-care/beauty, art, hair, makeup, teaching, yoga, feminine energies etc. These jobs can make a lot of money if done right... would that also be threatening or is that more acceptable since it’s not a ‘masculine job’ ? Or only if she made more money than you in these jobs it would be a problem? I don’t know any girls/women who don’t work, infact growing up and relationships day to day, both people have jobs. It’s usually an equal balance. These days 1 income isn’t enough to take care of an entire family - wife and children, unless you are loaded. Most relationships need 2 people to be making money.

Basically what you men want is a girl lower consciousness that you so you can easily control

Wait... so what’s being said here is that one would rather have a girl who is a wage slave working a job she hates than a girl working in a job that she is passionate about? or she should already be rich because of family? And then said girl should be willing give up her hopes and dreams and make her career the children and husband? Good luck finding a conscious girl who wants to be at the beck and call of a man, higher up on the spiral. You guys should be looking in stage purple/blue communities to find this type of girl.. ..then I suppose it will make you feel more of a man, knowing that you have a wife who is under your control financially, and that you have the position of high power in the relationship. I’ll tell you what will happen... she will become depressed, you’ll end up replacing her and she will be left with no career skills or money of her own... ..she will be miserable but stay in the relationship because she is dependant on you for money.. ...and if she wises up and files for divorce she will be entitled to 50% of all your wealth (which is what stay at home moms get without a doubt, and maybe more)

What trauma would cause someone to become a miser? a miser is someone who hoards money, but behaves like they have nothing and say they can’t afford to buy things. They live frugally spending the bare minimum, they wear the same clothes and don’t make any big purchases.. Even though they had a high paying, successful and progressive career.

It’s not down to trauma, plenty of traumatised people have children, infact most families are dysfunctional and traumatised. people are more conscious now and don’t want to just pop out kids Willy nilly. people are having children when they feel ready, not because it’s what’s expected of them. A lot should be considered before having a child. it’s a huge responsibility and takes a toll on the woman. Many girls don’t want to give away their youth to raising children. They want to travel and explore themselves, and find the right partner before committing themselves to a child. They don’t want to be stuck with screaming kids and loosing sleep. people are having babies now In their late 20s and 30s..they have more wisdom and stability to give the child what it needs. of course if you are in a great situation with money and a strong relationship you are in a good position to have children. having a child should purely because you want to out of love. Not because society says you should. Or for any other agenda. Not having a child is one of the most renegade things a person can do and there are many reasons for it.

so it’s all about you then? You only want a child for your own personal agenda.

Before people had no choice whether or not they had children, it was normal. now people have a choice. why not adopt a child who is without a family instead of adding to the population?

You must have given her a creepy vibe. I wouldn’t want to be approached either whilst doing my food shopping. I’ve been ‘day approached’ 2 times before It’s was super awkward, but funny. I was outside walking in the street though. there is an edgey vibe to it, and I can understand why someone would feel freaked out. at the time I didn’t know about the whole pickup culture. Well I knew what a pickup artist was, but didn’t know there was whole online communities for it. looking back I’m wondering if they were practicing pickup!

I think the issue is being a workaholic and having your career consume your life, which isn’t healthy for man or woman. Men who do the same thing would also have a hard time maintaining a relationship, because there would be no time for relationship growth. That’s why those 2 type of people would work well together.

The high flying career type of gal would just date other men in that type of circle. She could have a partnership with someone who was also living that type of life. Or have casual relationships. Maybe eventually settle down and start work less hours. I have in my mind an image of Carrie from homeland. She’s a great example of this type of workaholic woman.

Haha... well yeah, if they are a good enough actor and willing to manipulate to extreme lengths just to get sex! And if it’s to have a same day lay, then force is also needed. so then you have a manipulative, fake guy pushing a girl into sex... and if they can keep the act up for days or even weeks then they are extreme toxic and delusional, and ultimately they will get their karma. It would be better for everyone if the guy said upfront he just wants sex then the girl can decide if she wants to do that or not. Rather than totally playing someone and using them. as women get older and have different experiences, their bullshit detector gets higher. Usually it’s younger or naive women who are targets for manipulative men. They don’t have enough first hand experience to know better, then they learn the lesson. A responsible human wouldn’t want to hurt other people like that But it happens and that’s life. but now we have totally changed topic. Don’t really wanna get into the pickup discussion.

Yeah, I know they do that. But it’s quite easy to spot a that type of Guy, they love bomb you and try to push through your boundaries. Or they act slithery when you ask them something. A practical thing to do would be to ask a lot of questions and watch their behaviour of course younger girls would be more easily tricked. It’s not a nice game. those fuckboy types usually have avoidant attachment behaviour, so you could find out by simply trying to create some intimacy with them and then watch them squirm.

Hehe

I dunno dude, it’s a feeling ! Intuition. Do I feel bad around them or do I feel safe in their presence. It also helps to have some experience and be a good judge of character. Of course you may also have a bad feeling but still act on it anyway. So I guess it comes down to learning how to read people and also being able to read your own emotions. the times when I was younger and got hurt for whatever reason, I did have a bad feeling the whole time, but I was naive and ignored the feeling.

To name a few things High emotional intelligence, empathy, integrity, independent, self sufficient, honest basically not behaving from the childhood/teenager paradigm

Of course! Everyone who gets hurt has this attitude! Men included. It’s not that they don’t want a man. It’s that it’s hard to find a high quality and mature man who shares their values. So it’s better to be single than waste time with incompatible ppl

I’ll take the other option: being independent whilst also having a strong man to grow with and stimulate me emotionally. This is my my current relationship status.

Well nothing is certain of course. anyway the chances of a marriage lasting a lifetime is low... so the woman would still end up in a situation of being older and single. Better to be able to support yourself should that happen.

I still want to have family, just not in the traditional sense that you are saying. I don’t care about getting married. If I ended up single and successful I know I would end up meeting someone eventually, so I’m not worried about that. i would rather be single and successful, than dependant and married

Exactly

Yes of course, I have a job. Worked pretty much since leaving school and live in another country.

@Raptorsin7 No, I’m in already a compatible relationship. I’m not a stage orange career driven woman in the corporate world btw. But I’m self sufficient, independent and have my own skill sets.