intotheblack

you would have to read the whole conversation around that. it was brought up in conversation about how some guys often end up with bitchy girlfriends and that if that were the case it would imply that the guy was weak and insecure to be with a bitchy girl.

We want strong men, just not toxic ones!

Apparently it was written for men. It was first thing to come up on google. I wondered what is the mainstream take on a high value man. I think it has some good advice! But yeah, I guess women are used to getting men who are the opposite, so they know what they don't want.

20 traits of a high value man: https://www.lovequestcoaching.com/blog/20-traits-of-a-high-value-man-1

?

Haha I’ve seen people say worse here ?

Just don’t be a dick..

yep.... women choosing by strength, men choosing by looks (or whatever) but then getting stung later when the true colours show. depending on the level of trauma they will keep repeating the same patterns until having some kind of realisation and then fixing their own traumas, therefor leading to more healthy future relationships.

exactly.... so the point here is that both men and women can be attracted to unhealthy things depending on their traumas and how self aware they are. there is a fine line between a wild, untamed female and a wild, bitchy female. One of them is healthy, and one has unresolved trauma and is toxic. so who will the toxic one attract? a guy who has traumas that resonate with that type of girl. he probably has low self esteem, maybe his mother was very bitchy towards him so now he ends up with women like his mother. could be many things. just as there is a fine line between a strong, good man and a strong fake man. one is healthy. one has trauma and so therefore is a fake and has toxic vibes. who attracts who? the strong fake man will attract girls who resonate with it because of whatever traumas they had. the strong good man will attract other strong women. toxic women with alot of trauma won't be drawn to a strong good man, because the lack of drama will be boring for her. anyway you get the picutre.

On the other end of the spectrum, is it true that guys are attracted to bitches? I’ve known many a guy with a real bitchy girlfriend. And I don’t mean just moody, but mean girls who would keep them in line.

Yeah. Well I think in general outside of this forum nobody thinks deeply about this! Everyone’s acting unconsciously for the most part lol

This just comes down to being young and naive, and toxic weak guys playing the part of a strong guy and then showing his true colours later. The girl then learns a lesson. Most girls go through this until they wise up. this is why girls get hurt, because the line between strong Good man and strong toxic man is blurry they want strong authentic man not fake strong man

Because it doesn’t fit his current agenda ??‍♀️ His dating tips are specifically tailored to this world view.. @Leo Gura remember you teach people to see through others bullshit... women are listening too.

Yes exactly. Do you think the shadow masculinity and shadow feminine will balance out throughout society as they move up the spiral? It seems a lot of the toxic m&f goes on in the lower stages. Maybe not until society is at yellow or above will there be true balance? Each stage has its own toxic traits that they expose in different ways. I think this also plays a part in who is attracted to who. For example, a strong stage red/orange man, wouldn’t be attractive to a stage green girl, and vice versa. a stage green woman would want a stage green or above man. Not a stage red narcissist. Or at least the more real and authentic a person becomes, the less they will be tricked by fake people, because they can sense the inauthenticity.

Clowns because really that’s what they are, someone dressed up in a disguise to go and play a part. Then they go home and take off the suit ?

Yep agree all this pickup stuff is teaching you how to attract, it’s all a false front. They still have no idea how to be in a relationship or be a decent human being. yeah they can get sex but that’s it. that’s why most girls end up being attracted to the facade, then the guys can’t keep the act up for long and the true weak man underneath the mask shows like the guy in the video, he is not strong, it’s all an act of grandiosity, underneath he’s insecure.

Physically/emotionally absent fathers, lack of strong male figures, and single parent households. Kids are growing up with no direction or good role models.

Yes they want strong men, but not toxic. narcissistic = toxic = trauma . someone with high self esteem and high self love wouldn’t be attracted to it. different toxic traits attract different people depending on who resonates with it. most of society grew up with a toxic parent, so that’s what they gravitate towards when they seek relationships later life just that the choice over the last however many years seems to be either toxic strong man or weak man, so they take the strong toxic one. ?

Because of trauma these types of men will be history when the collective starts parenting properly

both are combined. The difference is the way you are looking at it. You won’t get long term fulfilment by trying to bed many women. What you will get is a bigger ego as the numbers go up, lol, and it’s a long way back down. it’s all a big distraction. Think about it, what do you actually get out of sleeping with many women, apart from short term pleasure and an ego boost? Couldn’t all this effort be put into something else? what is the difference between having sex with 1 woman many times or with many women 1 time each ? you still reach the same end goal right? so basically it’s focused on trying to get something. Searching for something. Like in the way people try to get likes on Instagram. It’s a dopamine addiction. If you don’t get it you feel depressed and like a failure. Because you have your self worth attached to the outcome. If you changed your perception and starting putting the same amount of effort into every social interaction that you have.. Asking people questions, study people. Learn how to really see people. Be interested in people and care about what they have to say. You can still use approach, but for the reason of learning, not getting. Really take a look at yourself and think how you can put more effort into all the relationships in your life. Not only dating. Even just talking to the person at the coffee shop, ask them how is their day going? Etc. try doing this for 2 weeks. Really go out and talk to people. It will be more fulfilling long term than trying to bed lots of women. Pursue relationships, not for the reason of what you can get out of the other person, but for what you can give to them and how you can make them feel. you will probably fail many times, but at least you will know you gave it your all. Then you have experience for when the right person comes along. imagine how you would feel if someone came into your life who had a genuine interest in you, accepted you, listened to you, showed you warmth, put effort into the friendship/relationship? Aim to be that person! and people will want you in their life.

yeah it’s normal. But if you go chasing excitement then you miss out on building deeper relationships. Eventually the seeking of excitement gets tiring. after the initial honeymoon phase is over this is when the transition into genuine mutual love starts (if both people are open to it.) Most people never experience this because they don’t wanna let love in. As cliche as it sounds. What usually happens is people don’t get past this stage, or , they half-heartedly do it unconsciously. Then they wake up years later and realise they wasted time and that no real effort was put into building a deep relationship. Maybe one person put in more effort than the other, or it was just a shallow relationship based of surface materialistic things. they have no appreciation for the other person, they don’t really see them. Genuine mutual love is very rare so once you have this, then you have to learn how to treasure it because it’s precious.. and as you grow together it gets stronger. not saying it will last forever, but with constant communication within the relationship, and deepening the intimacy over time helps it to last long term. at this point it’s less likely for someone to just go cheat or look for excitement. Because this is something deeper that a quick fuck won’t equate to. So it depends on the people and how much they are able to appreciate what they have and not be constantly searching for something else. This is why unfulfilled people do this, searching for something to fill them.. ..and usually why secure people (those who had childhood needs met) partner off early. They don’t have difficulties with letting love in and sharing intimacy. They don’t have the ‘searching’ need. so insecure people are constantly searching for something external and wanting more to fill up the void. but actually once you learn how to create intimacy, and have a deep and secure relationship, a crazy thing happens. You’re deepest needs get met authentically, and then you stop searching. that’s the funny thing about needs, once you have them met, you don’t need them anymore. So really the only way to be truly at a point in life, where you don’t need intimate relationships, you have to first go through high quality intimate relationships and have you’re innermost needs met. if you just play the part of not needing anyone, and being detached, it’s really just a coping mechanism and you will never be content or at peace.

Love the latest video topic from Leo, great insights. I’ve been waiting for a video like this. childhood environment and upbringing is everything. Especially between the ages of 0-3, this is when the initial attachment blueprint is set. Anything anyone does is because of their childhood. It all makes so much sense, yet the societal understanding of it is so small. Why is it so hard for people to see when it’s so glaringly obvious. feeling emotional after listening ❤️

i would bet on lack of communication and intimacy. incompatability. people get married to fit into society. They don't really care about the best interests of the other person, it's all a big show for the most part. again, not everyone stays a horny dog their whole life, some people are content with a companion to grow old with. who can be bothered with sleeping around at age 50 to 90. unless you wanna be like hugh hefner. dunno about you but I would prefer to be enjoying my days with a companion, away from all the drama.