intotheblack

Innsbruck, Austria

It also sounds very much like you have been taking the masculine role in the relationship, by doing everything and working 2 jobs, whilst also being a mother and wife. whilst he takes no responsibility. This will have caused an imbalance in polarity. He needs to step up and take some of the weight off you so you can embrace more of your natural feminine. But the threats about money are a red flag so really think about if the relationship is even salvageable. Do you want to remain with a man who will threaten to leave you in financial distress if you divorce him?

This is not healthy. Start saving money and look at your options for leaving. I understand staying for your kids, but a better example for them would be seeing their mother putting herself first and making a change if she’s unhappy. Best thing you can do is have an honest talk with your kids about how you’re feeling, it will form a deeper bond with them and they will also want you to be happy. Are you married? If you are married then everything will be 50/50 split. If not then does the house belong to him or is it joint? this is mostly just threats from him to stop you from leaving.

@Leo Gura Finding actualized . Org was a life changer for me, and it’s opened my mind up so much and I have learned so much from your videos. They are very educational for me, and many things I would never have even though about if it wasn’t for you doing all the work and bringing us this information. I’ve never interpreted any of the radical things you have said as suicide promotion, but then again if I were heavily involved with psychedelics then who knows. But from my current world view I haven’t. I’m not really involved so much with psychedelic side of things or this section of the forum, so I have no feedback on that, but clearly there are people who hang onto your every word. My grievances are more regarding the promotion of pickup and advice given to male members on the forum regarding relationships and women. Which some of the female members here have called you out on before. More loving and conscious advice could be promoted in this area. Whilst I don’t always agree with what you say regarding that area, I can separate that when I’m watching your videos and don’t hold any grudge, it’s more like having an annoying friend or brother who you clash with in some areas, but bond with in others, and in the end I don’t take it too seriously. I can just frown and then go about my day. People come here with nobody to look up to so they look to you for answers, and sometimes i think you need to be more aware of the type of things you say on the forum mostly. I think this is where most of the misunderstandings lie. The videos are different because you can be more clear and explain exactly what you mean. But things can be more easily twisted and become toxic when said in vain on the forum, when typed casually. People here can and do think that you hold all the answers, but really you are just a human and don’t know everything. This forum is basically my social media, but it’s easy to get caught up in it the way you get caught up in other social platforms. Definitely some people spend way too much time on here, myself included, and waste a lot of time theorising about stuff, we should commit to taking more breaks and not get so addicted and consumed by it. How about making the forum more private and not public for everyone to see? How about making your videos more private through the website so that only members can view certain ones? deciding which ones you want the whole world to view and which ones should be members only.

I suppose it should be reworded to ‘live alone’

I’m wondering if you would say the same thing to a man who isn’t getting sex from his wife? But when it’s the man who doesn’t want sex then it’s the woman who is being too dramatic and she should accept it’s not that important? Ridiculous

I think if he isn’t willing to talk or make any effort then the relationship has come to an end. If you are no longer growing together then there is no need for the relationship. It could continue like this for years then that’s more lost time. If he would have an honest discussion about it then maybe you could move forward and come to some kind of arrangement of an open relationship or sex therapy, if everything else in the relationship is great and you want to be together. But it doesn’t sound like it since there is little communication and he’s putting blame on you.

Yeah well this was some years ago now when I was fond of going out and drinking and really wanted to meet people. But I’ve outgrown that now. I never went backpacking for months or anything like that, maybe at some point in the future I will. it was mostly shorter trips that I’m talking about. The longest trip I did was 3 weeks in the Philippines, but I met with a friend there and we stayed in beach bungalows and hotels. I have spent a lot of time in isolation living by myself. I think when travelling it would be more like 70% isolation 30% socialising. Most of the time I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Haha yeah of course. I also didn’t like it, but did it sometimes for the reason of meeting people. You can also get a private room in a hostel. Just check reviews first and choose nice ones. If you wanna just be by yourself and explore alone then yeah just get a hotel or Airbnb. But if you want to meet people to hang out with at night etc. then some hostels organise everyone to go out together. I did this once but it was too much partying haha.. Usually what I did was walk over to people and introduce myself and then ask them if they wanted to explore the city together or go for drinks. One time I went to a festival by myself, and ended up going there with 2 people who were staying in my room, we hung out the whole weekend then went our separate ways.

Yeah you should 100%. I recommend that you stay in hostels, it’s such a good way to meet people.. it’s also a good way to grow your confidence, by introducing yourself to new people. I made some good friends over the years who I kept in contact with. It’s nice to know people from around the world, and if you decide to travel to their city you can meet you them again. I can’t wait to travel again after all this shit is over! ?

Yeah of course. But I’ve seen it changing. More guys are dating girls older than them. I always found it slightly weird when the girl is much younger than the man. It’s only recently that men stopped marrying children, infact it’s still happening in some countries.

Yeah maybe sometimes. But I honestly don’t see this in my day to day life. I don’t really know any guys who are dating a 10 year younger girl. People are usually with someone the same age or up/down buy a few years.

I’m not saying don’t date or start relationships, just saying do other things and don’t stress too much about finding someone. That’s why so many people rush into relationships and marriage out of desperation and fear of being alone. I’m saying get out and see the world, and meet all kinds of people along the way.

Totally normal. Just let those feelings arise and observe them. After it passes gradually you will stop caring until one day you don’t think about it anymore.

@Raptorsin7 I don’t know, but not many. I’m in a relationship now though, which happened by chance. But before that I was single for 5 years. 35 isn’t old btw, people still meet people and start relationships in there 40s and 50s. Infact the older you are the more likely it will work out, since both people are mature and both want a companion etc. (unless you are a Peter Pan type) my boyfriends mum is in her late 50’s and she’s always going on dates. the problem arises when your mindset is that you need to find a partner. Trying to find someone gets very frustrating and distracting. Just go do your own thing and have fun, travel etc. Don’t let your world revolve around trying to find a perfect person.

@Raptorsin7 ah ok. Then no, I would rather be alone than to settle for a shared partner!

why are the options only between dying alone or an open relationship? Lolz But No. I wouldn’t want multiple partners. Too big of a distraction and too much effort. I also wouldn’t want my partner to have other relationships going on, because then he would be too pre-occupied with that. I don’t see the point of having all these different relationships going on at the same time, unless you have a sky high sex drive or you are avoidant. Avoidant because jumping around different people allows you to keep distance from getting too close to one person. I like to focus on one person. I wouldn’t have time to be also seeing other people!

It’s being. No games. Just existing together. It’s like when you get past the rapids on a wild river and then the water goes calm but keeps flowing. But of course the lower conscious you are the more boring this would be. There is no drama. You are free to just be, in the presence of another.

What is the point of anything? Why hang on Leo’s every word? Why not go and find out for yourself? and why is it so important to you to be able to pull a 8,9 or 10? What will that prove? Why does it matter so much to you?

To love someone is to see them. To be loved by someone is for them to see you. most people are afraid to be seen, so they play ego games and do whatever they can (unconsciously) to avoid it. But they tell themselves that ‘love doesn’t exist’ as a coping mechanism. (Because that’s easier to believe rather than believing they are the ones blocking the love)

Because you imagined and wrote down the dream girl based on material things and what she can do for YOU! (How she will look, how much sex she will give you, being kind to you) you didn’t do it right. that’s why when you got these material things you realised they don’t make any difference. next time don’t imagine how she will look. Picture no face. Instead write down the kinds of traits she will have and things you would wanna do together. Write down what kind of things she would be interested in. Write down what you would want to give to her. Not what she will give you. So basically, when you meet her she will look nothing like you imagined but the energy will be right.

If you have a fear of intimacy or avoidant then this is totally normal. One of the many tricks that the ego plays to make you not let love in. The ego makes you judge the other person and look for reasons why they aren’t good enough for you etc. Before you run away from it, question yourself deeply and ask yourself why you are doubting it. Sometimes you have to push past that fear and dive straight in, after that it gets better honestly. what’s the worst thing that would happen if you did decide to fully let this girl in your life and be open to her? Let me guess, you would feel trapped and suffocated right? This is your ego protecting you from love. another thing to know is that love is not easy. It’s not like a fairytale where you fall in love at first sight... love is what happens after you push past the fear and insecurities, and stick around to get past the tough and uncertain times. That’s when love happens.