intotheblack

if a guy asked me to be friends with him I would be suspicious ?

@aaalex omg lol. you should maybe hide the name on the photo, maybe someone who knows him could see it here (if he was into personal development and happened to be on this forum) ?

this is a good book and the full audio is on youtube.

your shadows and insecurities will always be triggered and come out when dealing with intimate relationships...you can ignore it or face it head on and grow from it. start with some foundational shadow work, read as much as you can about self esteem and self love. I would also say, scrap the dating apps. if you want to improve your self esteem, dating apps are one of the worst things to lower self esteem. i would even go as far as to say just forget about dating all together for now, work on your foundations and other things in your life, start a healing process. This is better done without unneccasry drama and stress... make a concious effort to talk to all types of ppl in real life situations.

My older sister was borderline from being a teen, and now she has kinda 'grown out of it' so to speak. But yeah, living with her was a bit of a nightmare and she was very difficult. she did enter into codependant long term relationships, and whenever she was in a relationship we wouldn't see her because she would live with them. I remember being glad when she wasn't living at home. But basically in her most unstable, younger years she was self harming, impossible to have a conversation with, manipulative, snappy, she would also drink alot, like a bottle of wine every night. when she was drunk she would become overly emotional. she broke into my padlocked diaries and would read my private stuff. i didnt understand any of it back then though, It was just who she was and i would try to keep out of her way lol. I wish I understood it because i would have done more to help her, but i was also a kid. and this was the late 90s - early 2000s, nobody was aware of anything like that. normally you can grow out of this, and by grow out of it i mean the instability and unpredictable behaviour. By understanding what caused it, what triggers are. Someone with bpd has an extreme negative self image and self hatred, this will take years to change and will stay as a shadow even though they have learned to 'act normal' we are much closer now as we got older and figured out all of our family issues and she's one of my best friends. stay clear of alcohol and drugs.

Is this how it usually goes? This would make sense for me…my dad was the dominant parent, very emotionally unavailable, unpredictable and my mam was the submissive one dependent upon him. so growing up I suppressed my divine feminine. As I started growing into womanhood I had a fear of intimacy, was hardened and very defensive, I started my periods and kept it a secret and tried to hide them. I would wear baggy clothes and didn’t like to show my figure. I was afraid of having anything intimate with boys. I constantly had a guard up. Suppressing my feminine created a shadow feminine in me. when divine masculine qualities are suppressed this creates a shadow masculine (what we see a lot with aggression, controlling, overly dominating etc.) So for example a guy who has a dominant female figure around would suppress his divine masculine. Am I understanding this right?

And this is why it needs to be discussed here for more awareness, because nothing ever gets mentioned about consent. Guys tell eachother not to listen to girls opinions on this. @bejapuskas made a comment about this before on another thread.

https://www.rainn.org/statistics/perpetrators-sexual-violence https://www.google.de/amp/s/www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-43128350.amp

This is a common tactic, worming ones way in and taking advantage of the situation. Most rapes and sexual assaults are committed by someone known to the victim. Whether it be a family member, an acquaintance or friend.. Being attacked by a stranger is in the lower numbers. Although that it is what is more commonly feared, walking alone at night etc.

I suppose the keys are just giving a false sense of security. it’s something you always have with you, I would just hold the keys in my hand so just one key was spiking out. Probably couldn’t see this in the dark. But yeah, I’m sure in reality I wouldn’t stand a chance since I would be physically weaker. I live in Europe we don’t have guns here, but I’d probably feel like I needed one if I was in the US lol. when my sister lived alone in London she had to go down a dark street to get to her flat, so she used to keep a pointed metal nail file and some kind of spray in her bag for when she was working at the pub late night. When she got off the bus she would then peg it down the street to the door. She also wanted us to be tracking eachother on the ‘find my friends’ app, that’s how unsafe she felt living there. She moved eventually. These days I’m rarely in these situations since I barely go out late night and am not travelling home alone much. But I was always on high alert when I was going out all the time when I was younger.

Thankyou Here is list of some usual things that women do or have done in the past, for safety reasons, usually at night… - - Walking with our keys grasped between our fingers in case we need to use them as a weapon Making sure to have the correct key out and ready before we get to our door When someone is walking closely behind us on the street, we stop to pretend to make a phone call or otherwise occupy ourselves to allow them to pass in front of us Scope out potential safe spots if someone appears to be following us. Stay in well-lit areas at night even if it means taking a longer route. Change direction if a car or someone appears to be following us while we're walking on foot. Run outdoors with only one earbud or none to keep aware of our surroundings Pretend to listen to music or fake a phone call while walking by men who attempt to engage with us. Take alternative routes Cross the street when we see a group of men, incase they say something to us Late at night, cross to the other side of the street when anyone is walking towards us. Avoid eye contact with men trying to get our attention. Paying extra for taxi over taking public transport at night Avoid entering a staircase or elevators occupied by only one other person who is a stranger. Text a friend or send location before going to meet with a stranger Avoid social situations if a man whose prior advance made us uncomfortable might be there. Decide not to open Facebook messages from unknown men, who could see the message has been "Read" and become hostile and harassing. Buy pepper spray if travelling alone often Make sure we're not the only woman on the metro or bus Avoid getting off at our bus or train stop if a man who has been staring exits at the same time. Driving in a circle if we sense we might be followed making a fake phone call when taking a taxi alone at night Never leaving drinks unattended at a party Running home in the dark

Would we stay at one age or keep getting older? We could become vampires, but even they were unhappy living forever...

I can accept ageing but I can’t accept having skin like leather, that I will fight lol

@Etherial Cat I’m also In Europe what brand did you get? Maybe I can find online. I did just find some on a pharmacy website but don’t know if it’s any good.

Melissa looks amazing, can’t believe she’s 61. Totally glowing and radiant. Now I need to get me some retinA ? So do you have to keep getting it from the doctor every time or can you get it online?

I remember getting a retinA gel for acne when I was a teenager from the doctor. Is that not really drying on your skin though? Does it work for wrinkles?

lol You mean a dummy? Or as you Americans would say ‘a pacifier’

I sometimes use retinol, my skin always changes, so I have different products depending on how it’s being lol. But I always stick to rose cream and an spf. Lately I’m using salicylic acid because I’ve been breaking out, that’s really drying on my skin though so this hydrating rose cream goes well with it.

drink 2-3 litres of water per day Use spf 30+ during the day and limit sun exposure Bulgarian rose face cream Sleep with silk eye mask and try to avoid sleeping on your side start day with lemon water Don’t smoke and cut down on alcohol Try and stay stress free by excercising, yoga, quigong, meditation spend time in nature I heard evening primrose oil is supposed to be good but I didn’t try taking that yet

Sounds terrible... I have no idea how my body will react, haven’t had a vaccine since I was a kid. I’m really dreading it.

Has anyone had the Johnson 1 shot vaccine? I’m thinking of getting that but when I tell people they act like it’s a death shot. I would rather just get 1 jab and be done with it. don’t know what to think anymore! Does anyone know why you need 2 shots of the others but 1 shot of the Johnson? When it’s the same coverage as having 1 shot of Pfizer etc. But this is accepted as 1 shot but the others must be 2.

Carry a nail file and a small tin of vaseline. When you get the urge to bite the rough bits, file them down and then apply the Vaseline. if the rough bits are kept smooth there won’t be anything to pick or knaw on. also using a gel nail varnish that doesn’t chip easily and also strengthens the nail.

What Gabor talks about is that ‘trauma’ is the result of something that happened to you. It manifests in your body. It becomes a part of you unconsciously. He talks about how this manifested trauma (basically something happening to you that you keep to yourself for years and years) creates illnesses and disease. why do you think the framing of trauma is problematic?

It’s available now for those who are interested