intotheblack

@ilja Normalisation

These all sound so good

@Bando she developed some kind of dissociative identity disorder to be able to function. She will have went through emotional hell to get to where she is now. That interview was filmed in 2014 so she had already been through some years of healing and therapy before that. It’s really amazing how much she has been able to heal.

Noticing ADD symptoms extra today - I've been easily distracted and in my own head Most of the time I don't think about it and it only shows up at certain times, usually it's when i'm interested in something or focusing on something. I've been spending a lot of time the past few days reading and trying to improve with writing and articulating my thoughts. I've been in my own world.

I’m going to try out this new way of journaling. I’m really bad at remembering to do it on paper, so maybe this will remind me. I’m mostly doing this to record feelings and memories, also trying to understand my triggers and shadow. Along with some other random things. Feelings felt today: Fatigue, humour, excitement, love, energetic, moodiness - frustration/annoyance somethings that I learned today: listened to a podcast about understanding how people act out fear-based roles in the work place. a Chili tofu and rice recipe That my hyper focus is still there it’s just hasn’t been activated for a while - when I’m interested in something it’s like I block everything else out and get annoyed when I’m interrupted.

this was really beautiful to read

Get yourself a cool pair of Cuban heels. seriously.

Knee deep in the North Sea Jazz band Portico Quartet

A song for today: The piece of music is ‘watering a flower’ by Japanese musician Haruomi Hosono from 1984. Perfect electro ambient music for pondering about life. I love the simplicity of it. It feels comforting to listen to and it gives a certain sense of peace within.

@ilja I did have compassion. ermm hello i'm not judging all men, I was asked.

I already said before that they should have some confidence in themselves. but no, I wouldn't want to go out with someone who was emotionally weaker than me. I've been through a lot of emotional turmoil to get to the stage i'm at now, so the man should be more emotionally secure. I want someone who's arms I can cry in and he will tell me everything is gonna be ok I did once have a guy cry to me about his ex on a so called date. and why would they? lol no I wasn't talking about Teal. I was saying that people who are attracted to the jail bird type of guy are lower conscious

@StarStruck and if females are honest about what they want it will be used against them to get sex. and both are afraid to be honest. The dating scenario is all so shallow, I've already been through it, and glad to see the back of it. every1 unconsciously dating, getting drunk and sleeping with each other. Both girls and boys play games just as bad.. I've seen girls cheat and mess boys around. I've known my guy friends to cheat on their girlfriends. there has been times where someone rejected me and times when I rejected them. its all drama, and I used to hate it. I would witness stuff that would make me at least not wish to repeat the mistakes of others. nobody thinks about what they actually want so they're just messing around and using one another. chaos. I guess the only other thing I would say then is to date an older girl who is done playing games. I’m older than my boyfriend.

Ha! Do you know how rare it is to find a guy who is upfront about what they want and doesn’t play games?

@SamC to talk about guys and do their makeup lol

I feel like enough has been shared and said on this forum to give a good understanding of what women like in a man? what else is there to figure out...

no1 can pinpoint exactly what connected them to someone. Even if you put 5 of the hottest guys in a room, they might look beautiful but doesn't mean you will have any connection with them. there should at least be some common interests to bond over. actually, you'll find it is very common. it's called "Girl talk" just coz they won't admit It so some guys on the internet doesn't mean they aren't admitting it to other girls.. I've been in many a conversation where girls talk about what they like and if they had/didnt have good sex. personally, I've never been one to talk about my sex life openly, but that's my personality. I think this just boils down to consciousness though. the lower consciousness and more issues you have the more you will be attracted to someone who's been in prison. Girls tend to be attracted to the type of person that the father was. that's why with conscious parenting, comes more loving future relationships. People meet each other at the level they are at and connect based on that.

@Gesundheit lol. it's getting feedback from real women in the real world. what exactly do you want to hear?

@ilja well yous all keep saying women don’t know what they like and won’t admit to xyz, but I don’t see any of the girls in those videos not admitting something

I don't think its that they won't admit to it, I think generally people just don't think about it that much it in every day life, like what I see online. if you asked a random girl on the street what attracts them to a guy she would have to think about it but then she'd be able to name some qualities that she likes. Culture also has a lot to do with it. different cultures like different things. for me its do they have good taste, their style, do we like the same kind of music/films, are they funny and can make me laugh and get me out of a bad mood, do they just generally have something interesting to say? do they introduce me to new things? I can't pin point on looks because I don't really have a type. of course confidence is in there, but I think that just comes naturally with being yourself and not taking everything so seriously. Again though it all just comes down to what is your goal? something more emotional or a shag?

@mmKay thnx I couldn't remember which thread I saw it on. --- I just think like, how is anyone supposed to have any evidence anyway? something that happened so long ago and when nobody believes you, then it doesn't get investigated. It's important to believe victims of abuse.

@Stomatopod thanks for the input. so its more the 'satanic' part that people think is conspiracy? it seems people are more likely to believe the sex cult part but not the satanic part. These paedophile sex rings are being uncovered all the time, and it's usually the person who appears the most innocent. Jimmy Saville for example. I'm still trying to understand what would make the abuse victim recall memories of satanic ritual and why it would be a false memory.

@Preety_India could you link the documentary that you saw if possible? I mean, why would so many people make it up?

@ilja @ilja yeah I know. people don't want to believe it because its something so horrible. I was just surprised to see that the whole satanic cult thing is highly doubted because there is 'not enough evidence' I think its something that does actually go on, it's just hidden so well