intotheblack

If you want timeless tips this is a good book. The late Glenn O’Brien was the ‘style guy’ at GQ for years.

Haha I saw that movie at the cinema

new eye witness accounts from BBC has come to light, women in China's "re-education" camps for Uighurs tell of mass systemic rape, sexual abuse and torture. heartbreaking to read https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-55794071

Yes I think I remember answering some questions on there.. I just didn’t like how there was no control over who can message you. I think these dating apps can be good for if you moved to a new city and wanting to meet new people. Which is what I used it for. This was around 2016/2017 and I just found people to be very flakey so I started going to meet up groups also. I wouldn’t use it in my small hometown because you see too many people that know you, from school or going out etc

This lady is so full of wisdom.. why it’s so important to take ownership of your relationships and take the other person as a part of you.. learn the difference between true ownership and its shadow side - possession

I want to get a tattoo removed that I got some years ago and now I don’t like it. I’ve heard mixed things about whether it works or not or what kind of damage can be done - like scarring. did anyone have a tattoo removed? I’m holding out hope that some new technology will come out in the future that can instantly remove tattoos without any damage.

Is that on okcupid? I did try going on there years ago but I felt like a lamb sent out to the wolves.. you get flooded with messages and anyone can contact you. But I was talking more about tinder - that turned into an ego booster for the people trying to get likes. Male and female. Using it to get Instagram follows... or... depending where you live, people are in open relationships and looking for side chicks. I totally think that some people can get lucky and meet a genuine person, I know people that met eachother through online dating and started a relationship... but this was 5-10 years ago, when people took online dating seriously and were searching for a partner.... those days are gone it’s all about hook ups now.

And the guys click ‘like’ on every girl, just to try and get as many matches as possible. The more matches = ego boost a guy I used to work with would sit on his phone liking until his likes ran out for the day.. not even looking at the profiles. Just like a robot. Lol. I also understand why some guys do this though, because they might get less matches in general, so liking all photos increases their chance. But I’ve seen the more egotistical side of it.. just swiping to get matches and follows on Instagram and not really caring about connecting with someone

You’re thinking of the binge drinking types also, because so many people are on welfare in the uk, you will find more of these types in the impoverished areas. living in poverty, drinking too much alcohol and eating bad food, high rate of teen pregnancies, cycle repeats. just worse in the uk because the government keeps throwing money at them, so there is no incentive to get out and better themselves. a lot of places in the uk are still in stage red.

@ertopolice yes forget the online dating As @Preety_India said meetings in real life are the best way, online dating is very shallow and it seems you aren’t looking for something like that. It wastes a lot of time. the problem with trying to find someone in your small town is that there is the ‘small town mentality’ going on.. where everyone knows eachother somehow, and either you get married or you’re seen as being ‘on the shelf’ after a certain age. There is a lot of peer pressure. And if you do meet someone, chances are someone already knows them or knows some gossip about them! this is how the small town that I grew up in was like, so I’m assuming other small towns are like this lol. Travel is one of the best ways to meet people... nobody knows who you are, you can strike up a conversation with a random person and not worry about seeing them again if you don’t want to. Then one day you might get talking to someone and you connect with them. And even if you meet nobody, you still have this travel experience. I met my boyfriend whilst we were both staying in a hostel together

Would you consider moving somewhere else? If not then travel as soon as you can, even a weekend trip.

Fetishes develop from childhood wounds.. If someone is into sadism, and get sexual satisfaction from giving pain then they have some deep trauma going on and are trying to feed some unconscious need from childhood.. Of course simply experimenting and trying some light fetish for fun is fine. Like tying eachother up and wearing latex.

it’s probably just a case of the 36 year old being too emotionally immature to connect with someone his age so by going out with someone much younger he gets to avoid his issues

It’s a red flag... big power imbalance.

yeah of course! heard it all before I don't hear anything new here... he's simply talking about approaching women (all anyone ever talks about on here)

@SamC I guess it depends which way you look at it. I'm thinking of this in context of a first date. if you're in a relationship with someone then you can pay equally of course. It just sounded entitled in context of everything else that was said. I just feel like the times i went on a date with someone and they go and buy their own drink, it made them appear kinda cold....and gives off the impression that they are only there to see if they can get something out of you.. I have even bought a guy a drink before. It's just a friendly gesture..

so you want to conquer but at the same time too tight to buy the woman a drink all sounds so mechanical and entitled

it's resentment. and abandonment of the self. you are just acting from a place of hurt. you are so disconnected from yourself and others, it's an ego coping mechanism that you created in childhood for your own protection. a worldview of 'Me Vs them' someone gave you a reason not to trust them, so that feeling has remained there in your subconcious. you created protective bubble to fend for yourself, whilst at the same time disowning yourself. the important thing is that you recognise these feelings and are becoming concious! go wrap yourself in a blanket and give yourself a big cuddle!

@Striving for more please share the links when you can be bothered

Of course he is against it, it’s a threat to his ego It’s so deeply embedded in the culture, that part of France would have to die, it’s a collective ego threat

How do you know they forget?

Ditch the almond milk it needs the most water to produce. Of course compared to cows milk it’s a saint, but it’s the highest out of the plant milks. Go for oat milk

@Hero in progress it’s kind of insane now to think of human babies drinking cows milk

Today I had scrambled tofu with tomatoes, black beans and spinach with a toasted wholemeal wrap. Normally I would just make myself a smoothie and a coffee... but I started running this week so I’ve been feeling extra hungry