intotheblack

I only started listening to her stuff recently, I think she explains things well. I feel like most teachers can come accross as ‘know it all’s’ though, and can be annoying. But I don’t mind teal so much. Actually it’s nice to listen to a woman for a change. I listen to the wisdom and advice, try to not focus too much on whether I like or don’t like the person.

@Preety_India you can listen on Spotify I also don’t like watching the videos https://open.spotify.com/episode/7hNQcULbbWLgAD20HtRFt5?si=ck1un7qjR9qJ1xwFwYN0pg

Good stuff!

Leo also said - ““Game B is a great ideal. Unfortunately is barely exists in today's world and it is unrealistic to expect it. You are free to play Game B if you want, but don't be surprised when most people are playing Game A as you play Game B. This is what keeps Game B from being commonplace. We are stuck in a precarious survival situation, an arms race. It is helpful to appreciate and accept that. That, in fact, is a necessary part of escaping Game A.”” - - - game A - learning attraction, getting laid, pickup, casual relationships, exploring, learning how to understand the opposite sex, survival instinct based, more self absorbed, pleasure oriented, can also appear more shallow from both genders. Shallow friendships. Also, this would include working on shadows, hidden biases, judgement, becoming a more loving and rounded being. Both women and men go through this stage to different degrees.. women can appear to go through it faster than men (getting tired of casual relationships, not only wanting to have sex) so they might move faster towards game B... but that still doesn’t mean they will be embodying game B.... game B requires A LOT of previous inner work and understanding of your own issues and shadows. That is why you need game A for growth and becoming a better human. Otherwise you’ll stay stuck in game A. You might also quickly move through this phase if you have little or no trauma... which is very rare, hence why most dating is this way. once you have exhausted this area you would be ready to move on to game B. game B is a continuation of Game A and is still self actualising, you just understand the limits that stage A brings you. You are now interested in something more and feel ready to explore a new terrain. game B - transcending your relationships, sexual exploration with another, growing with another, deep connection, building intimacy, letting go of relationship views you once had, communication, openness, letting go of needing something from the other, learning to judge the other person less, having the others best interests at heart, companionship. this can be the same for friendships aswell as sexual relationships. You are basically learning to appreciate the closest people in your life. Letting the other person feel free to express themselves and be without expectations, Creating a safe space. Being in a relationship because you genuinely care about and want to spend your time with the other person.... this is important and why it can be hard to find the right partner.... most people aren’t spending time with the right people. You know you can survive alone but are choosing to be with the other person, choosing to give your time to them. And vice versa. It should be a mutual feeling. people in game B can still have aspects of game A and they are working to transcend that. It’s not good or bad. you might be at game B and seeking a relationship with someone who is still at game A, but you would notice this and understand that the other person isn’t ready yet. Game B doesn’t mean having to be in a relationship forever, it means you understand that if the time comes when you have both outgrown the relationship you will move on but keep that person as a part of you and learn from it. game C - ... to be continued feel free to add anything, but from what Leo said this is what I gathered. Maybe I’m wrong. Just giving my thoughts.

The way I saw it was that Leo used game A and game B as a way to explain how the advice he gives to people is more tailored towards game A. Meaning advice on how to attract women, do pick up etc. He was saying there’s no point to try and explain game B to people who are still working on game A. game B would be more geared towards transcending relationships once you are done with game A. Whether there was a deeper meaning behind what he said I dunno...

Teal has a video for everything lol.

Growing together in a relationship, both people benefit and help the other grow, they each have the others best interests at heart. They learn from eachother. But at the same time each has self love and doesn’t loose themselves in the relationship, they also know that they can live without eachother Free beings choosing to fly together

I have no idea but we need to define more what these mean it seems everyone has a different opinion lol

Game A and Game B sounds so silly Basically game A is just people who are single and don’t want a relationship and wanna do pickup ? And game B is people into relationships, intimacy and love? Or ?

@Gesundheit Plenty of women don’t want to have children. But yeah I understand what you are saying, and agree with many parts. All I was saying is that not all men want that. Just like not all women want to be a mother. Personally speaking, I never had a desire for a child. Yes I have the typical traits of being loving and nurturing and wanting to take care of my loved ones, but the thought of having a child is a huge responsibility which I’m not ready for, not to mention going through pregnancy and childbirth. And if I get too old to have a baby I will choose to adopt. By that point I will be wiser and more capable of bringing up a child. You’ll probably tell me that I’m going against survival and that’s not what I really want, but that’s how I feel. Just like there are men who feel differently than their natural survival instinct. And there is no utopian fantasy... love is possible and people do choose love over pleasure. If that sounds utopian then so be it. I’ve experienced the harsh side of relationships, and would agree with you that men want to sleep with many women. Doesn’t mean that some men don’t feel happy and fulfilled in a loving relationship.. or are you saying they only *think* they want that because theyre deluded? Yes maybe the relationship won’t last forever, and many fail. I’d also say that many fail because of the lack of true intimacy and connection. If you are in a relationship with someone whether they are male or female, if there is distance and no intimacy between you then of course it will fail... and what is the point of having the relationship if there is no intimacy? In that case they may aswell stay single.. a guy I know who is 39 has never had a real girlfriend, he has flings yes. I’ve saw the side of him that has a longing for a loving partner, but he is an avoidant. Basically it all depends on your age and stage of life, also attachment style. I think up until 30s most people are still exploring themselves and don’t wanna be tied down. I was the same.. I had 1 boyfriend when I was 19-22 then another boyfriend at age 24-26... looking back though they were both toxic and I don’t count them as *real* relationships... but I learned a lot from them. The rest of the time I was dating different people and travelling, I didn’t wanna be stuck in another relationship, I moved to another country and was single for 4 years. I’m 32 now and am in a relationship with a guy who is younger than me (shock!) for the past 2 years.. I only look 25 though haha. It started as long distance but now we live together...this is my first non toxic relationship. Before that I had a pretty cynical view of love and relationships, and still do at times, but it’s all because of past trauma. You are probably one of the guys who think women past age 30 are low value and no good. Do I still worry about getting old and more unattractive in societies eyes? Of course. How is the polyamorous life going for you though? Did you actually have a secure loving relationship with someone before? Are the girls you date also non-monogamous ?

Seinfeld - men have no idea what women want

Sounds like you just don’t really know what you want. Which is fine. But stop claiming that all guys have the same mindset as you. I think the porn is warping your mind a bit mate

@Gesundheit what you’re saying is true for many men yes, and of course men are stereotypically known to cheat at the first opportunity. And if someone is that quick to cheat at the first opportunity they get then that just says something about their lack of self control. having fantasies and acting out on them are 2 different things. Both men and women fantasise and look at other people. Doesn’t mean they will automatically cheat if given the chance. many men are committed to their loved ones and are family men at heart. It all comes down to being content and appreciating what you have. Cheating and sleeping with lots of people is just constantly chasing something.

@Gesundheit

Hahaha so true

Beautifully said

Btw i was referring more to the women on this forum that they are more developed. But it has be known for ages that girls reach emotional maturity at a faster rate than boys. Im talking about emotions and intimacy. emotional development does come with spiritual development. For men and women. The more you self actualise the more emotionally mature you become, that is when you really become a man or a woman. Most people stay at the teenager stage of development because of trauma or upbringing. Emotional maturity comes with commitment and honesty. Commitment to really cherish your loved one.. and that goes both ways. That was just kind of a joke to describe the dynamic of the people who clash on the forum. The more mature women clashing with the more immature guys. Yes balance of course. and no, I was just commenting on how much people take everything leo says about dating as gospel instead of finding their own truth.. then become close minded to anyone else’s perspective. And yeah I understand that people need guidance, it just ends up sounding like a Reddit forum or Craigslist most of the time. Lol.

Lol. I started this thread then I logged off for the weekend. signed in today and it had gone crazy... but yeah it totally derailed and went off track. I think it’s a lost cause now!

I think it’s a bit of both. Women at one time were expected to be only feminine, then as women gained more personal power that naturally came with being more masculine, only it’s ended up going so far that they became too masculine. Now it’s time to start embracing the feminine again. I disagree that they need sex for intimacy. From personal experience I know that guys can have intimacy without sex. Once you have your intimacy needs met in other ways that need for sex isn’t as strong. You are right I don’t. I’m still learning and can only speak from experience and from things I’ve read. I never claimed to know it all.

if its just texting other girls then no. But sleeping with more than one at the same time isn't cool. so always be honest.

I know. but on the other hand I understand that these guys are simply less developed emotionally. That has been a problem between men and women since forever. They are still living out the low conscious animalistic nature, which will fade as the they reach higher levels of emotional development. and this can be at any age.. which is why you can see very young mature men and then there is also older immature men who are still living the Peter Pan life. men can be well developed in other areas of life but then when it comes to emotions and intimacy they are still at the 'survival' level. and it all is to do with their shadow, unmet needs and suppressing the feminine side. the last generations have been about women finding their inner power and embracing their masculine side. now the pendulum is swinging and it is up to the men next to find their feminine...

exactly. there is way too much overthinking and generalising that goes on on this forum. too much theory and planning.. just like the quote says... many of the guys on this forum don't want to listen and are extremely close minded when it comes to femininity and intimacy. ...the same things are repeated over and over. also there is too many people who hang on to Leos every word and believe he has all the answers. In real life things are very different, people need to get out in the real world and form real relationships if they really want to grow. also, I would say many of the women on this forum are more advanced spiritually so they already have a deeper understanding of relationships.... that's why there is a clash happening. because the women are more into deep understanding of relationships and intimacy, whereas the guys are just wanting to have sex. it's a clash between the different stages of life. it's basically Women vs boys... lol. I have seen guys on this forum though with more loving views on dating and intimacy.

Yes maybe just by changing things up a bit and doing things separately would help! Also you could discuss where you see the relationship headed long term. I don’t know your girlfriend but most times when I feel stressed or unhappy with life is because I feel I have no direction. It could be that she feels the relationship isn’t headed to a destination so then that makes her lack motivation? If she has said before that she wasn’t happy in the relationship what was the reason?

You must be an empath But I think it’s normal that if you are in a relationship and love someone that you feel their emotions too. They become a part of you. As long as you both have a strong sense of self and your own interests this wouldn’t b a problem. even though we live together we spend most of the time in separate rooms. He would be working and I was on furlough so would just be doing my own thing. I think that’s why lockdown caused so many couples to break up because they hadn’t spent that much time together before. Taking long holidays together before living together would be a good test. You just have to be careful who you choose to spend your time with, this would happen with anyone you hang around with. That’s why so many people turn into their parents..

@Farnaby how is the rest of the intimacy in the relationship.. like confiding in eachother and being emotional together? Are you often physically intimate? Intimacy isn’t just meaning sex. how often do you see eachother? Me and my boyfriend have been through a dry spell lately. We live together and we had been in lockdown since December.. but this came from both sides. We simply just didn’t feel in the mood to have sex.. there was no pressure from either side. We joked about us not having sex.. we didn’t have sex for nearly 6 weeks lol We talked about it a few times and came to the conclusion that: we were home all the time, and simply didn’t feel sexy We cuddle and kiss a lot, so are having physical touch needs met consistently We are always talking to eachother We were feeling lazy and couldn’t be bothered to have sex I think as long as you are having other needs met then sex isn’t a huge issue, but it’s important to make effort. It’s also important to talk openly about it. If your girlfriend says she feels stressed, maybe think about what you could do to take some of the weight off her In other ways, like cooking a nice meal or giving her a massage.