intotheblack

Some of my fave ones that I have listened to more than once...

Hmmm. No this isn’t what I’m saying, wasn’t talking about having sex with someone you just met. That totally depends on the girl, whether or not they would want to have sex there and then or wait a few days. Actually, my comment wasn’t directed at Leo’s situation, I was talking about the attraction phase and knowing if the girl is genuinely attracted, or if she is unsure about the guy, but hanging out anyway. I’m not saying that the girl will necessarily initiate sex, but again depends on the girl. If she was full of desire she may be the one leading you to the bathroom or asking her friend to leave the bedroom. There is lots of possible scenarios. again, it totally depends. How shy the girl is, her boundaries etc. What I mean when I say she will come to you, I mean she will be wanting to spend time with you, asking you to hang out, being flirty or more direct and open. I’m not saying she will make the move to kiss first, but she will be open to it. The reason for ‘postponing’ same day sex is because sex is a bigger deal for a girl especially with someone she just met! She doesn’t know if she can trust him. Of course people still have sex without being really attracted to eachother! Yeah there will be some attraction somehow but ‘same day lays’ are based more on looks since you don’t know the person. This is why more manipulation tactics are used by guys who want to sleep with a girl on the same day. It becomes more forced and needy, this also becomes a repellent. Girls know when you just want to get sex. If you are trying for a same day lay, then you have to use more force and be more direct to try and push through the girls boundaries, what you call a girls ‘game’ in this situation is her trying to hold off since she may not feel ready to sleep with you... the time is too short to know if that’s what she wants. Other scenarios would be if a girl was a little drunk or really fancied you then tricks ain’t needed so much. I’m sure she was attracted somewhat but I wasn’t there so I dunno. It’s happened to me before where I hung out with a guy all night who I wasn’t THAT attracted to but he was friendly and funny, we ended up kissing, but I didn’t want to sleep with him, even though he really wanted to, so I had to make up an excuse to get away and tell him I had to wake up early. So there is so many situations, where being aware of a girls actions tells you if she really likes you or not. A girl pulling away doesn’t always mean she’s trying to be coy and wants to be chased. What I’m saying is if a girl is genuinely attracted she will make it more obvious...contacting you, wanting to spend time together. You don’t have to play so many games when it’s a real attraction. This goes for male and female. If she doesn’t fancy you that much, then she will pull back more, be more flakey etc. It means she’s unsure about you yet. Again, goes both ways.

agree. If a girl is highly sexually attracted, she will come to you naturally...genuine sexual attraction is like a magnetic pull. A girl who is sexually attracted to a guy will make it known from her actions. If that girl was sexually attracted there wouldn’t be any need for subtle manipulation techniques or force. If there is games and she’s pulling away etc. it’s because she’s unsure about if she’s attracted or not, she feels ‘meh’ and there is no desire from her side so she is evasive. This is when manipulation techniques might work on a girl to get her to have sex with you. But it’s not authentic attraction and games have to be played.

She talks about the confusion men go through with being told he should be vulnerable but then on the other hand that he should be emotionless.

Yeah I agree. Whilst there is the masculine and feminine energies naturally, I don’t think we should get too hung up on the labels and try to fit into a certain box or be a certain way. It becomes too restricting rather than natural..In real life situations, it’s either you attract or you don’t, without thinking too much about how feminine or masculine someone is. It causes men to worry they are too feminine or women to worry they are too masculine etc. @soos_mite_ah and @Emerald might have some thoughts on this.

I actually found Kurt to be quite masculine and he has a strong character. Actually I think he’s a good example of a man showing strength and vulnerability. Just unfortunately he spiralled out of control.

Yeah, maybe some of them are a bit toooo feminine, but I think it’s just how they are portrayed with singing. I never was that attracted to the male singers, I was more likely to fancy an actor, rather than a singer. When I was younger I loved Heath ledger and Ryan gosling.

Kurt was more real and authentic, he had a lot of shadow and he embraced it, he didn’t try to hide his darkness. Whereas John Lennon portrayed a nice guy image but had a bad temper behind closed doors. I like Kurts persona and would be more attracted to him, his appearance is a bit too a scruffy for my liking though, but some girls like the scruff look.

Someone shared a video in another thread of an interview with Teal Swan, where she shares her stories of extreme abuse as a child in a satanic cult. I knew who she was but never watched any of her self help stuff, so didn't know anything about her background, but was interested in what she had to say in that particular video. I believed that she's telling the truth about what happened to her, and I've read other things over the years about these cults that children are forced into. But then I saw that there are a lot of people who try to debunk her and say she lied about it and that she's a lunatic etc. Apart from this though, apparently all claims of satanic cult abuse are thought to be "false memories" since there has never been any real evidence found to suggest stuff like this really goes on, and it has the name of "satanic panic" in which 1000s of people have made the claims since the 80s. Does anyone have any thoughts on this or know of something where evidence was found of satanic cults?

I was actually going to add to that comment about how men are taught more to not show emotions and that crying is seen as weak. but yeah, I was saying it more in terms of women with their moods and cycles which can make them more emotional than men in that regard. interesting article! I wonder if this is the case and men are really the more emotional ones? But then would that change how we view feminine and masculine attraction? I think that they hide it more easily, but I feel like women also hide their emotions too, to appear stronger or as you said to not show anger etc. I grew up hiding my emotions. I think it’s possible both male and female can be the same levels of emotional, and it all just comes down to how you’ve been brought up. Hmmmm! Thoughts ?

How is chicken more sustainable?

Yeah good question. Like at what point does it all become too fake because you are trying to act to the other ones psychology? It is a lot of over thinking and In real life it doesn’t always work like this. I guess I would just take it as a piece of information or generalisation, without taking it too seriously. Her videos are very short so she doesn’t go into a lot of depth. But yeah I dunno, I don’t know what to think anymore about this

Yeah exactly. I just found it interesting, another perspective. I see a lot of guys asking these types of questions so thought I’d share it, It could come in useful for somebody. of course it’s directed at a wide range of people and doesn’t include everyone.

Laugh, and the world laughs with you... cry, and you cry alone...

@Parththakkar12 hmm ok. Well actually, I think this talk is more for attraction phase! I don’t think she’s talking about being in a committed relationship. Once you are in a relationship it’s different If you want to attract a girl, if you get too vulnerable In the beginning it can act as a unconscious repellent! And this is what I think the video is more for guys who are having trouble attracting girls, and the confusion around how vulnerable they should be and whether or not that would turn a girl off... and if it’s better to be emotionless instead. She is saying how it all depends on the context and situation as to whether you’d be seen as weak/needy or strong/vulnerable.

Did you watch the video? It’s not telling you don’t be vulnerable.

People cry for all reasons. Personally I like to cry alone, it’s a stress reliever for me if I’ve been frustrated or sometimes when doing inner work/mediation I get sad and end up crying. Usually women crying is hormonal, or when they have reached breaking point and feel the world is on top of them. The only people I ever saw crying just to get attention were kids/teenagers or actual attention seekers. Men just aren’t as naturally emotional as women that’s why they don’t do it as much. Women’s hormones and moods are changing constantly.

Yes some do, many had/have no guidance for dealing with emotions etc.. Just like women look for advice, men do too.. No shame in it. it’s just one way of looking at the situation, another perspective for understanding the male/female psychology I know the name of the video sounds silly, but what she actually talks about is learning attunement which is a trait for divine masculine growth, which a lot of people are interested in.

Personally I never even thought about it, but it does make sense what she says and thinking back to past situations there is times when this has been the case for me. it’s deffo an unconscious thing.

@KGrimes it all depends on context and situation to whether or not a girl will welcome it or be turned off by it, generally speaking. I shared a video about this on another thread

You can be committed without getting married. Marriage doesn’t mean you are more committed. It just means you entered into a contract and have no idea if you will break it or not. I don’t blame people for not wanting to get married, Basically, leave the town you grew up in and you’ll never face the social pressure of marriage & kids. People get married without really knowing what commitment.. or even Love is. Of course nobody has any idea how things will be in the future. Being committed to something is choosing it. Basically if you are committing to someone you’re choosing to work and grow in that relationship, but also because you want to. This can be done without marriage. The problem is that the social pressure around marriage is huge. People rush into this without thinking it through, because all of their social circle are doing it and they don’t wanna be ‘behind’ in the social survival game. They all run in a race against time to get married by age 30. Like once you hit age 30 then that’s it for you. Then, next it’s a race to have children. How many people really think about what it means to bring a child into the world? Not many. Again, mostly doing it because of social pressure and fear of getting too old. I never had this dream of a huge wedding, i agree with you, it’s a whole lot of stress and money just for one day, and mostly it’s for the pleasure of other people and to look good in the social circle. You can’t even enjoy your wedding day properly because you have a duty to go and talk to every guest and make sure that everything goes as planned and keep the guests happy. It’s absurd when you think about it. Then, after years planning and 1000s being spent, just like that it’s all over. I really wouldn’t want that. rather than getting officially married I would instead have a private ceremony of love. Just a true celebration of how you are feeling at that moment in time, without any kind of contract being made. Everything is changing constantly, the future is uncertain, all you can do is love in the moment and see where that leads you. You can feel loving and committed to someone in the moment, and maybe those moments will carry on a lifetime, maybe a few years, who knows.

Limit alcohol and caffeine intake. excercise observe your behaviours do inner child work your adhd developed in childhood from receiving a lack of attention (attention deficit) It’s a coping mechanism... the zoning out, the high sensitivity, fidgetiness, hyper focus etc all survival. Realising this helped me. Dr Gabor mate goes into great detail about this, there are lots of talks on YouTube. He has a book called ‘scattered minds’ I really recommend you read that. Do you plan going to a psychiatrist to get tested?

I make a healing elixir... make some hot water and add some fresh chopped ginger, the juice of 1 lemon + lemon slice, 1/2 spoonful of cayenne pepper, 1/2 spoonful cinnamon

Love ❤️

Guys on the forum be like..