intotheblack

Many women don’t wish to have children. you have kids young, then what? Your husband tires of you and goes in search of a younger woman, and the kids are older. so now you are left without a career or money and have to start your life from scratch in your 40s/50s to me that is a nightmare scenario. Makes more sense to first have your career, life skills and be independent, then bring kids into the mix. personally I would rather live my life and have kids a bit later, if I get too old then so be it, but I’m not too worried about that my mam was 38 when she had me and 42 when she had my sister.

If I had enough money of course I wouldn’t work a day job.. Also when I say work part time I meant doing something with my life purpose. my mam stayed home and my dad controlled all the finances, now she’s in a messy situation because she didn’t have her own money. I don’t want to depend that much on someone else for money.

But I also don’t like the idea of me being a stay at home mom, except for the first 3 years, which are the most important for the baby. I would still want to work and make my own money, but eventually I would work part time and the rest of the time would be for my husband, child and personal development. I just think it would become very exhausting for me as woman to be working full time after having a baby. Plus the added stress that you are the one who has to make all the money. but I suppose the other thing is that less people are having kids now, so there’s that.

I wouldn’t like it. I can see how it might happen during a phase of a long relationship, like if the man lost his job or something. but for the setup to be that I go to work full time and the man stays at home... no thanks.

Cut back on animal products. If you drink milk cut that out all together, it’s full of female cow hormones. start the day with 1.5 Liters of water followed by a green smoothie excercise Don’t buy anymore crap!

I guess it just means that men have to up their game even more, now that women are overtaking them. Hehe. Regarding money, it depends on the person and how they feel about the woman being more successful. Some men would be intimidated by it or not feel as powerful in the relationship. Or some women may not like the idea that their partner earns less. I dunno it totally depends. There is more stay at home fathers now, so I would assume it works for some relationships.

What i don’t understand is, isn’t it better that the woman is pursuing the man... doesn’t that mean he is leading... if she is following/going after/chasing? but I guess this doesn’t count for pickup, only a relationship? If a woman wants a man to be her boyfriend/husband she will pursue him?

@Lyubov what I’m saying is If the woman is attracted to the man, she naturally gravitates towards him and will begin pursue (follow) him but of course it might take approaching/dating many women until you meet one who will pursue you in return.. I’m not talking about women walking up to men and asking them for their number or sex never heard the phrase that girls are always ‘chasing after’ guys who they like ? They just don’t chase any guy.. only if he is special in her eyes..

The way I understood it was pursuing... not approaching. The man can still approach and do his manly things, but the point was not forcing sex to happen..if you first approach and then the woman likes you she will start pursuing you. It she doesn’t then don’t force it...

I’m really struggling with zoning out and not listening. I can be listening to someone and be really trying to focus on what they are saying, but I start thinking about completely different things. I won’t have heard a thing they said. Then they will get annoyed because I stopped paying attention or they have to repeat something. If it’s something I’m interested in though I have no problem and can fully engage in the conversation. How can I get better at listening to people talk?

@Preety_India ok thnx for explaining, I understand what you mean now.

I don’t know. But I think men wanting to impregnate many women is kinda low conscious. Or for example men who push women to have sex without using a condom, knowing she can get pregnant, is low conscious chimpery.. of course this was the norm before birth control and abortions... when society was at a lower level on the spiral. So naturally more children were born. most men today in a conscious society want to have sex but they don’t want children to come out of it.. so it’s actually all happening at the right time since the population is sky high. By 2100 it’s predicted the population will naturally start to stagnate/decline, because by that point everyone around the world will be at a higher state of consciousness and will be choosing not to have children

I think if men were more in touch with their natural fatherly desires they would be. But most of them are suppressing those natural instincts. They ones who leave weren’t mature enough to take care of children. There is also men who force women to have abortions, because they aren’t ready for it or because of cheating etc. .and women choose abortion because they also aren’t ready for a child. Luckily we have birth control so there is more choice in the matter.

A lot of fatherless children would say otherwise!

True! And I’ve said this before on another thread... If a girl in interested in you, she will naturally gravitate towards you.... no pushing through boundaries required! this is how it’s always been with me! The guys I liked I pursued them. the times when guys pursued me I got bored and lost interest!

It all comes down to emotional immaturity and lack of awareness. this is life, people hurt eachother. Sometimes, you will be the collateral damage, and sometimes, someone else will be your collateral damage...

Hmm I dunno, maybe just a bit more warmth to the messages, ask her what she’s been up to the last few days.. then you could ask if she’s still up for meeting? Since 2 days had passed it was maybe a bit blunt to ask immediately to meet. she could probably sense that you want sex, and for whatever reason she couldn’t be bothered with going out and chatting with a new guy who is giving off the sex signal. I agree though it’s not cool! to arrange a time and then stop responding... but at least nothing more happened with you’s otherwise it would be harder. plenty of guys do this disappearing act without explanation too, it’s not just a female thing. I’ve been ghosted a fair few times in my life, it’s like a dagger to the ego heart.

Too boring... you should have chatted for a bit first, asked her some questions etc maybe a bit humour. If you ask straight away to meet it gives off a desperate vibe

That’s your problem right there. You are trying to get something from her, girls pick up on that straight away.

Slightly off topic but did anyone see the latest fireball that was captured heading towards earth? fireballs could also be mistaken for ufos.... or maybe they are ufos and not fireballs and another from march

I don't know you or your friends, but it could be that they seem happier and more carefree because they are in general more secure and had a good upbringing ? Usually if you had these things you tend not to look towards self help or question things since you have a more positive outlook, so you flow more naturally, you are more confident in yourself. Whereas if you grew up under different circumstances you will be more oriented towards self help and spirituality to guide you. because of suffering. It's suffering that leads to awakening... It's not that they are more conscious than you, but they are already acting from a place of love. It's easier to be loving and flowing when you had no suffering.

@Preety_India you’re welcome I just edited the post and re-added one of the photos because it wasn’t loading for some reason.

"canine" is the name of the tooth

A lot of toxic behaviours are actually coping mechanisms.. there is probably something on these lists that all of us have done or still do sometimes. As long as we can identify it and choose an active more positive coping mechanism instead..

toxic behaviour is done unconsciously because of traumas and low self esteem, people are still very much behaving like teenagers at all ages. Trauma keeps you in this childhood state, even though on the surface you are an adult. usually, in these toxic relationships, it is not only one person at fault. before judging another of being toxic, one must first ask themselves..."what toxic part am I playing in this dynamic and what can I do to change it?" most people won't ask themselves this question, so they will end up staying in the relationship and ignore whats going on. or they will blame the other person. this is also toxic behaviour. for example, a wife who allows her husband to get away with numerous things without ever calling him out on it, she teaches the children not to confront a person who does wrong, and brushes everything under the rug. This is a coping mechanism of denial, or enabling. she has low self esteem. the husband knows he can disrespect her without consequence. the husband is acting also from a place of hurt and lack of self love, but to a different degree. he also refused to look at himself and what he is doing, he is also using coping mechanisms of withdrawl, denial and lying. This creates a toxic home environment. In this situation it might look like the wife has no choice and that only the husband is to blame. But the wife is also allowing this treatment, she is also playing a toxic part in the situation. of course, if this goes on for a long time it becomes "normal" and the victim sees no way out, she becomes brainwashed because of the manipulation. at this point the more vulnerable member of the relationship needs reinforcement and support to get out of the situation. first and foremost you have to look at yourself. Then, look hard at the situation and what you can do to change it. as you understand yourself more you can more easily spot red flags in others, and will know to avoid those people. but if you are still living in your naive childhood state, you won't be able to spot them and be easily manipulated. all toxic people are just acting from the childhood paradigm! they never matured.