Kid A

Sorry, I should have clarified: I meant during dates, not cold approach.

Flirting. It feels very unnatural to do and when I do it, I usually get rejected, which makes my mood reach rock bottom. That surely doesn't help!

I probably exaggerated a bit, but: Four years ago, I decided to cut my closest friends out of my life. Things were going great the first year after, but after about a year and a half, I started to really miss them. It developed into severe bouts of depression, so eventually I just had to go back to them with my tail between my legs. They were generous enough to take me back, but only to a certain extent. Since the "comeback", these friends have been a major source of paranoia and loneliness. I've been excluded from things an awful lot, and it feels like Christmas Eve, New Year's Eve and my birthday all at once every time I get the "honor" of being with them these days. You can look at the bright side and think that it's good that I have finally learned to value friendship, but it's a constant disaster for my self-esteem. In the last couple of years, I've also started dating girls, which pretty much offers only rejections and very little satisfaction. To gain the social skills and life you need to succeed in dating, friends are crucial. When you feel as rejected by your friends, as by the girls you go out with, then your self-esteem hits rock bottom, and when that happens, life truly sucks. This has been the case for around two years now and every action I take to make things better usually backfires and make things worse. At it's worst I have sometimes acted like a desperate crazy person, which surely doesn't make the social situation any better. In the last four years I've only been able to make one single new friend who I actually want to spend time with and that's a girl I dated earlier this year, and we don't ever meet IRL anymore. Fortunately, things have improved in the last six months, but I do not recommend anyone to go through what I have gone through and am still going through.

I did this and it may be the biggest mistake I ever made. It completely ruined my life, even though it seemed like a great decision the first year after. Having no/too few friends is an absolute nightmare in the long run, and this comes from a very introverted person.

My impression is pretty opposite of yours. The most "green" girls I've gone out with have generally been the most attractive ones for my parts, and they were all feminine. Last summer I had a bad feeling before a date with a girl who turned out to be writing typical angry green blogs. Because of my past as an anti feminist and a huge Jordan Peterson fan, I assumed from old habit that she would be this kind of "feminazi". She turned out to be one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, who just wants the best for each and everyone. I both hope and think that was the final cure for years of anti-feminist propaganda that I've been exposed to.

I've had around 30 coffee dates in my life. Not ONE time has it ever led to anything. Drinks on the other hand usually go well at least half the times. I guess some of us really are born with a BAC deficiency of 0.05%...

Agreed. That bad boy thing just seems like a big myth to me. I've been on dates where I've been yelled at (and of course rejected) for being rude and offensive for something I would consider nothing. Can't think of any way being a bad boy has ever helped me. Not being too nice, on the other hand, that's a great advice.

Interesting points! In my experience they are just as willing to give their phone number away, but are less likely to respond to messages later, and will never agree to go on a date.

To put on a smile in advance has only given me horrible results. People actually seem to like me better the more depressed and low energy I am. I'm probably pretty unique there!

He must be really into ethnic Norwegian girls. Day game only works on foreigners here in Norway for some reason...

Problem is that most girls will most likely not be interested in you and they will find a cold approach like this pretty unpleasant. To hit on a girl in your social circle/school/work can also be highly problematic if she's not interested in you, and it can create quite a toxic environment. Unfortunately I speak from personal experience here.

I've done a lot of this. I realized in the end that 90% of the girl I approach finds this pretty unpleasant, so I stopped doing it completely. It's too unethical.

In the last two months I've been seeing a girl I met through Tinder, and she thinks that men who go to bars and night clubs just to meet girls, are really desperate... My best friend met the mother of his child through Tinder. Another friend of mine met his girlfriend there around eight years ago. One in four couples meet online these days, and Tinder is by far the most popular one, last time I checked.

The hottest girls I've gone out with, have been through Tinder, and I do not look anything like Brad Pitt! I paid to get some professional photos though. Your "How to get laid" series is an absolute masterpiece, but I think you underestimate online game. As long as you're not clearly overweight, most guys under 40 could probably get some results with a little professional help, like I got.

I don't get this demonization of Tinder. I have nothing but good experience with the girls I've met through it. Most of them completely normal and sweet girls who wants a serious relationship. Perhaps Norway differs from the rest of the world here... My biggest problem with Tinder is that it is by far the most addictive thing I've ever come across. I use waaay too much time on it.

Of all the problems in the world, wokeness being the thing you're focusing so heavily on and being emotionally invested in... As a white man from a rich family, It's so hard to comprehend how I couldn't see my own self-bias/self-deception when I was like this some years ago. What started my way out of it was becoming conscious of how destructive it was for my life. Makes me think of the movie American History X, when the principal asks Edward Nortons character if becoming a neo-nazi actually has improved his life. I wish everyone who are anti-woke the best of luck getting out of it. Can't recommend it enough!

There's a huge gender difference here, imo. It may actually be my favorite dialect if we're talking women. Men: Not so much!

Something tells me that George Orwell would never have written that book if he knew it would be used by people like Jordan Peterson to justify their whining about their first world problems.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aSO9OFJNMBA&t=2s&ab_channel=MattLaufenberg I think this deserves a thread on this forum. I have no clue about spirituality, but aren't they really on to something here? I especially liked this one from the commentary section: "Wearing enough hats" is being used in both a literal and a metaphorical sense in this scene. When it is said that "Hat sales have increased, but not pari passu", we must be talking about literal hats. But metaphorically, "to wear more than one hat" is to take on more than one role in a setting or organization - which would increase the opportunities for "guided self-observation" to assist in the development of the soul."

I went on over 40 dates before I found one who was interested back, and I'm still breathing. I had a very similar experience with my first date though, so I feel you there. You should move to a bigger city, unless it's physically impossible.

Casual night clubs. Maybe it's a Norwegian thing, but it works! Thanks. I should definitely try this.

Couldn't agree more. In my experience during the night, girls will treat me like I'm a human being with emotions only if I'm with friends and wear a suit. Too bad I like girls who care about more than my clothes, and I don't have any friends to go out with atm. Solo nightgame makes me really consider suicide almost every time.

I've slept with two so far. Nearly got into a relationship with one of them. I mean being able to have successful cold approaches and dates. I had my worst results right after I came back from a solo retreat a couple of months ago. Many girls reacted like I was a giant snake when I approached them. Seems like not being social makes you repulsive quite fast…

If I’m waiting for girls to answer my messages, I’m not able to really focus on anything else or have a good time. This month is the first in a year where I’ve not been chasing girls and I’ve finally been able to enjoy life, unlike the whole last year. I guess it’s just a matter of weeks or days before the big hunger comes back, and it doesn’t feel right either to do nothing like now and lose the skills I’ve been really suffering the last year to develop. Atm I have almost zero motivation to do a comeback though. So, is this problem something I just have to live with? Online dating is the worst, but as I’ve gotten better at pickup, there has also been an increasing amount of flaky girls, which make the problem worse.

Since elementary school I've only wanted one single thing in my life: A girlfriend. 16 years later: Absolutely nothing has happened there. Last summer I was so depressed that there were only two chocies: Start doing pickup and all that, or kill myself. Unfortunately I chose the first. Since then my life has been a nightmare so bad I didn't even know it was possible. I've been on around 40 dates and every single one of them just end with a message the following day where they say they didn't feel the chemistry. Right now I've just had the worst night of my life, where not a single girl at the club I was at wanted to talk to me, and I probably approached around 30 of them. So far this year: All food tastes like ash and it has become so difficult to work out that I give up most of the workouts. I really wish I was dead. The only thing that keeps me alive is that I care too much about my immediate family to commit suicide. Now what?