Kid A

@mr_engineer I recommended you the book "Loving what is" last week. If you read that book and do the work, you will also realize that you actually have this man-hating stuff all backwards, which is pretty much always the case when we're angry and upset at someone and suffer because of it.

I know, but feminists are very rarely man-haters. So rarely that it shouldn't bother you at all. That's what I finally realized. I've lived in a very feminist society all my life, but the closest things to "man-hate" I've ever witnessed have all been online, usually cherrypicked by American right-wingers. Just like right-wingers focus so ridiculously much on muslim terrorists, compared to the muslims who aren't terrorists, which are the vast majority.

@mr_engineer It's so easy to get right-wing radicalized online these days. I've been just like you are now, but thankfully it didn't last long. Start getting very critical of how representative these man-hate horror examples of yours really are.

@mr_engineer I can highly relate to how you feel. I strongly recommend the book «Loving what is» by Byron Katie. It’s on Leo’s book list. It’s probably the most helpful self-help book that I’ve ever read and it’s just what you need. Trust me!

Or they have brought you to your knees again and again, but the love has never been reciprocated and instead you’ve just been treated as a creep by all women you’ve ever been truly interested in, and the love for women feels like a horrible curse.

This is the main reason why it's almost impossible for me to get any results from nightgame. All girls go to clubs to dance, so I'm left with two options: Don't dance and don't get any girls, or be super awkward on the dancefloor and definitely don't get any girls. Alcohol almost doesn't help at all. No matter how drunk I get, I feel so awkward and out of place on the dancefloor that I've actually been laughed at by girls while dancing. That for sure didn't make my situation any better! Pretty crazy that something that's such a big part of human culture can become so unnatural to some...

Girls get super offended by things I consider nothing, like for example being honest about being attracted to them primarily for their physical appearance, and treating them like a psychopathic animal is supposed to work? Makes absolutely no sense to me...

I have to show interest, but I can't give compliments, I can't talk the way it feels natural to talk (which is logical talking), I have to worry about not offending them when I'm teasing (which has happened too many times in the past), I have to look away manually all the time to not have too much eye contact, and at the same time I'm supposed to always have something to say. Not to mention being authentic, which in the past has proven to be the most important principial for my parts. Dating has got to be the most advanced thing in the entire universe I really appreciate the help though!

They will usually be very eager to talk about dry topics such as studies and interests, but if I for example flirtatiously tell them something I like about them, they will be like: "Thank you," and look uncomfortable. To get better at observing is probably a great advice. Eye contact is something I struggle with. The natural thing for me is to look her in the eyes all the time, but I keep hearing that too much eye contact is bad, so I have to look away manually all the time, which steals a lot of focus and probably comes off as a little weird... I think I'm above average funny, so that's probably not a problem, but I may be wrong...

@Raze Thanks, man! I’m gonna watch them all.

I apologize if this thread offends anyone or if it's a violation of the guidelines here, but I'm just too curious to let this pass: In the 10 months I approached girls during daytime, I was able to get dates with all kinds of ethnicities, with one big exception: My own, which probably was the majority of the girls I approached. They were just as willing to give away their phone number and many og them seemed really flattered, but when we were texting afterwards, they would flake every single time. I have friends who also have been doing a lot of daygame here, and they have the exact same experience. Why is this?

It makes total sense why it works on English-speaking girls. The real mystery is why it's almost as effective on adopted girls and foreigners who have lived in Norway all their lives and are highly integrated into Norwegian culture, but it doesn't seem to work on non-adopted or non-foreign girls at all. Probably around 400 approaches - not one single date.

Then why does it work on adopted girls?

Great point. I actually have dated two girls this way, who both had ethnic Norwegian parents. The thing is that both of these girls were adopted. One from East Asia and the other one from Colombia. That makes me question if culture is the only explanation.

True, but that doesn´t explain why it doesn´t work on Norwegian girls specifically.

One of my friends is a good-looking Indian guy who has really good game, but he isn´t any more successful with ethnic Norwegians than I am.

In my experience, all pretty girls are high value, no matter what ethnicity. The last girl I dated is black, and she´s approached all the time by both men and women...

Most of them spoke Norwegian, so I don't think my awkward English is the explanation

It's really convenient for conservatives, isn't it? LGBTQ+ being a bunch of perverts. Maybe a little too convenient...

I have friends who believe homosexuality is a mental illness, and I live in Norway, which may be the most developed country in the world. Nothing was won 5+ years ago. Homophobia is still a HUGE problem in the world.

Haha, I didn't just insult them! I just tried to be myself and say what was on my mind, without worrying so much if it would hurt their feelings. In my experience you should definitely "worry" about that and be a nice guy.

My experience with being «bad boy»: Offending girls for things I considered nothing, and at worst being yelled at, but most importantly: Never getting laid. Not even close. This is the part of pickup/dating theory that seems like the biggest myth, in my experience…

Yeah, I think you're right. When I said "most girls", I meant maybe around 60%. This is absolutely not the case, I'll tell you that! Daygame has given me a lot of dates, while nightgame has pretty much only given me suicide thoughts...

Nothing special about girls being polite to someone they loathe. In my experience that's pretty often the case when they interact with each other During evenings out they're usually under the influence of alcohol, which removes the politeness filter and makes you more "honest". They're also usually approached by many(!) other guys, which makes it too impractical to be polite to everyone. Cold approaching is a big part of night life. Everyone who goes out knows that, and most girls probably wants to be approached by someone if they go out. This is really not the case during the day.

Like I said: This is of course what I tried to do every time. If being creepy was a conscious choice, there would be no creeps. I get all the results I need from online dating luckily, so pickup was never really necessary for me in the first place. I think what happened to the guy I mentioned, shows that a country like Norway simply isn't big enough for daytime cold approach in large quantities.