SickLuv

Overthinking people. he push the button even higher to makes you eat your own butt with your own forces

some people smoke to be a part of a group, having power to create an input context to stand in social hierachy. ( not my case, or maybe it is. ) surviving is suffering. I m not sure we can stop the wheel of wanting to survive, if you do so, there is the counter side of it, not wanting to survive, makes everything "shallow". my genetic or whatever I appreciate the pumping effect, and coffee makes me sick for instance ( as alcohol ), I did stop 6 months last year. was very meditative, but life was missing the spice. I have absolutely no monney from job ( thanks my country welfare so far , but there is downside to it ) ( because I value more my time and my direct pleasure on a daily basic ), and no job, my CONTEXT right now makes me smoke weed, and all addictions don't exist. I say everything is context, conditionning, genetic, biology. ( big points ) no one never choose to be addicted or not addicted. in fact that's more easy to see it that way, there is no free will, all ideas of free will is an illusion even when you stop thinking. because determinism is absolute truth, but the thing is, you'll never ever grasp "determinism" with your own mind, so you're all life will be lived with the feeling of free will. but there is no chooser, all choice and feeling are already made or coming from the past experiences. for me it just stems to breathing, when I m writting, it because I feel it, nothing more, nothing to even know more the world. Why ? to maximise my pleasure ? Maybe, what does that means ? Answering my self . . . for my self. sounds arrogant, there is nothing to know, if you "know more" it's only a delusion. all context creates cons/good. there is no path to take, no goal to reach, it's a road all the way. as far as the relative goes, weed push me up, not down, but could be a total bias. But even if I chose to stop, other bad or good thing will happen, but good and bad are relative, chasing experience is the best way to not have any experience. if you ask me why I smoke, I can speech for hours, reality is, I smoke for the same reason I choose to breath.

destructive and good is relative. it's all sand castle. When you stir on the good, you're close to the bad. forget about good or bad completely, like erase it from your mind. fapping 10 times a day is not more stupid than dying from cancer. there is no good or bad, litteraly, it's a jump off the cliff realisation. so how can you expect the ego to be self destructive, where there is no destruction and no construction ? your ego direction change, to makes you learn, improve, increase your survival and potential pleasure. then context and life conditionning will play all of the rest many animals drug themself, is that because of their dysfunctional society or their ego that has been hijacked ? hum it just that, I smoke weed everyday, but guess what, when I was in a space where I was aware I couldn't smoke for a week, I did it. It was borring but not hard to not do it, in fact, I had a good experience being clean. if there was tiger, of course I wouldn't bet on using weed, but maybe I would try to find some herbal to beat him up. it's all about context, context, context.

there is no ground to walk on, so walk on the clouds. People are looking, but why looking, looking is an idea. Animals breath air, they shit and do sex, humans do the same with more steps. life in a movie life in a bubble life in a tunnel life as a wind in a storm sometimes it seams your mind believe he can hold the wind, but everything is in a storm. it seams that whole word are "usefull", but every moment is a meaning. your mind falsificate meaning over things, every time. you are creating ideas each seconds, they are all a breath. All seconds is meaningful, or not, depend, of you. words point to meta experience, words never point to themself. but all thinking point to itself. in the end, all speaking would be infinite, because we try to describe the entirety of a personnal experience, personnal experience that can be only mirrored to someone who hold a fragment of the experience himself. words can be seen as meta energic point in space, and if you focus long enough of those energy, the whole world will shape to answer and teach you what you need. god is not belief, it is pure truth, it is rock obvious. But what do you believe god is.

I can masturbate for 20 minutes when I m in shape, and each second is awesome, 5 seconds ! no shaming 100% is the way you should really try to practice deep tantra and use of magic herbal. in real experience come as this : good. . good. . good . yes . good . ho . good. it's great great great great, good good good good good good Goood, Alright, I M IN CONTROOOOL GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

& then go watch super high me, and start weed !

isn't the biggest delusion of all the fact of separating the ego from god ?

there is no distraction, survival thinking is absolute love. You can want to play the game, mario see lava, he doesn't dismiss lava, he jump, because that's absolute love for mario to be able to think of jumping out of the lava. saying the lava doesn't exist is no absolute love, it's absolute delusion, it is or it isn't, but you'll know by intuition.

I watched the last video on the blog, and I would be joyful to know an analysis of those highest guru, highest teaching, why they fail to be "highest", you should tell directly people like "mankind is the bullshit animal", I enjoy so much this vid. something that would still be in the wave of your current mood about the whole ideological dogma people choose to follow for absurde metaphysical reason that should keep being inquired. before US election it seams legit to talk a bit more about deconstructing self deceptive ideology about human nature. if not, do as it please you, good day/night !

after more digging. more layer of bs. this guy seams the legit shit about it. follow him, everyday he check the situation with "real backup".

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Francis_Boyle scam ? reality ? I m watching close the whole case for me. who cares for politic if everyone is dead ?

can a powerful LSD ego death match with a low dose 5meo ? how different is LSD high dose from DMT material ? I wish to put my hands on some of it one day, but my way is to collect a bit of data out of it to prepare me for something that cannot be prepared, but anyway. I know that all of reality is a "dream" that my mind is pure self reflection of the self. I think I have a decent level of self understanding. nothingness in a fractal. what's there to find for the "I self" ?

Do you use drug or any spices ? do you always have a high sex drives, same all the year ? aren't you feel wasted from sex ? could you abstain from sex for a day ? one of you ? both ? Do you still look for something higher in sex ( high peak ) or do you maintain a particular habit ? what do you think of tantra ? How do you think someone could improve his sex life if you were a teacher ( both of you )

it is beautiful to have opinion critics, hate, love, différentiation, being a jerk, everything that makes you a devil is divine, it is is perfect, it is already god. Your ego is a delusion, only god exist. god is all, god is mercyful, but he is aswell hateful. And he Love everything that is after that. Pain shit, sex, porn, all is great, you can meditate or masturbate all day, your love from god is all the same. Nothing to avoid, no pain to avoid, no extasy to look for, you're already driven by god. You're god vehicle, your thoughts are god driven, your fears are god drivens, your lust is god driven, your discernement is god driven, your avoidance of shit is god driven. there is no critic to maintain, all critics and thoughts are roleplay, god is god with himself. open your eyes to yourself

A new virus ultra infectious not something to be cautious of ? even with a 2% death rate ( if those numbers are true ), we could say that each country increase his death rate by disease by at least 2% world scale. We don't know the high term consequence of contracting such a disease. Corona is just a name for a range of type of virus, it's not "known" as people tend to believe it is, it isn't. Why china put go full quarantine style for a flu ? it cost billions if not more, why a simple flu would put down the country who was about to beat america on the economic plane. Even chernobyl situation wasn't handle that far.. it's fair to have questions and to be cautious. so make up your own truth. there is a lot of rumors by conspiracy theorist that could be "true", like it isn't a natural virus, but a dangerous one created in the famous P4 lab ( go researsh about it, if it makes you curious, it's not conspiracy lab, it's a real lab ) I don't believe so far that the "bioweapon theory" is true. missed in the wild from the lab ? who knows the truth, hospitals are not known for their wide availability... even in 1rd country, so having an increase in people who go for meds will intrinsicly cause a lot of death. ( the world isn't ready for taking in charge a high increase in patients in a short amount of time ) but I m still questionning myself, why this move from China ? I don't trust the media, but I don't trust many thing. pandemics are real threat to the entire humanity, they are no joke. So far from the "true number" , there has been 360 death in China. ( and this number is probably a fake number ) as if we could believe in a country that need to hold his stability, it's the right move to not alarm people. ( would cost more to the country ) even in chernobyl, the governement lied about the whole situation for a long time. but anyway what you can do if you suspect cases in your area : https://www.who.int/emergencies/diseases/novel-coronavirus-2019/advice-for-public