Vlad_

Oh bro I'm so afraid of getting something. When I was younger I was really judgmental. For me if a girl had more than 2 sexual partners - she was a whore. At that time I was virgin, so I couldn't see trough my bias. One of my biggest mistakes was asking my ex how many guys she fucked with. I remember relaxing with her on a couch and then a stupid idea came into my mind. I asked her - "Hey, I'm just wandering, how many guys you had sex with?". She said - "Well... I didn't count". I was speechless and then she's saying - "I guess around 10 or so..." You should've seen the way i reacted on that..

I don't think most of girls are capable of telling how many men they fucked with, neither are men. Semen retention is also a good option, the only problem is it makes me angry

You’re right, I only had toxic relationships and it made me think all relationships like that. Maybe I shouldn’t have sex before I get to know a girl. It makes perception clearer.

At some point in my life I needed relationships and I had them. It's not like I've never been in relationships and just mentally masturbating about them. What kind of value relationship add? I can see only one - sex. Unless my imaginary girlfriend also likes psychedelics and knows she's god. I tried to talk about spiritual topics with some of my ex girlfriends in order to establish intimacy and connection. It wasn't successful. So I got to the point where after sex I had nothing to talk about. What's the point of this relationships?

hahhaha man, you can send it to me via email

This is a very good question, thank you. I value my self-expression the most. I used to be a people pleaser and I used to put girls on a pedestal, especially when I was virgin. I assumed women were crucial in my life, but it turned out to be a delusion that I discovered trough my direct experience. I'm not a pick up artist and I did just a few approaches. Some of them succeeded and I was able to extract sex from girls, but after sex my interest always decreases. At first I thought that I need to sleep with more girls, but this approach didn't seem to work. So maybe it's just better to have a sex doll you can fuck any time and you don't have to talk about some bullshit (subjective) or topics you have zero interest in.

1 thing is I don't care how having a sex doll is being perceived and interpreted by others Second - you're right, I desperately want sex, but this primal need has nothing to do with loneliness. Loneliness means that you need a company or being taken care of. I need sex and nothing more. Everything else I can provide for myself. I guess it's difficult for you to grasp because female's brain works differently and women have slightly different needs.

I'm so biased I can't imagine that there are plenty of hot girls who want only to fuck. I guess it's because I lack approaching experience. I need to work through this believe that I hold

Hello friend. Unfortunately, with this kind of mentality you will never find true peace, confidence and self-esteem. All the things that you do are good, you're developing yourself, but it seems like you're deriving your sense of identity out of the things you do. You have some kind of criteria that defines your self-value. You need to understand the criteria you hold is highly subjective and you can't evaluate yourself or anybody trough it. You should be able to feel worthy in any given circumstances. You are worthy because you exist, your self-expression is your gift.

Yeah bro, 100%. Girls don't like creepy guys, but it seems like I'm a creep. But what really scares me is the fact that I'm totally fine with it. As long as being creepy doesn't hurt anyone is good. Creepiness is a highly subjective term. For me being creepy means showing a dick to a stranger in a park

Spiritual teachers are my creation and they behave like that because it's my desire. There's no shoulds or woulds or whatever. I'm the only conscious being in the universe and I can behave the way I want to behave as long as it's aligned with my values and principles. If I want to walk around and say that I'm god it's totally fine, no one has a power to judge me. Everywhere is me. I attained total moral liberation and freedom, it's absolute. Now I can play the game by my rules. My self expression is number one priority, absolutely.

Hello brother! I used to have a love addiction, so to affectively deal with heartbreaks you need to: - Fix your self-esteem and confidence (book - The six pillars of self-esteem by Nathaniel Branden) - Know what is a healthy relationships and how to build boundaries (book - Facing Love Addiction by Pia Melody) - Change the way you see yourself and your interactions with women (No More Mr. Nice Guy) But mostly bro don't overestimate importance of other people in your life, otherwise you'll be suffering a lot

I couldn't care less about women's opinion regarding some of the aspects of my life. Nobody is in position of judging me, I am my own judge

Too many unrealistic expectations placed on women and on their importance in my life. It's a game that can't be won. I fucked plenty of girls but I don't feel like I'm getting to the point where I'm satisfied with only one girl.

Thanks for making a really good point about my assumptions regarding sex. I really think that if I'm having sex with a girl I have to be committed for relationships otherwise I'm just being manipulative and selfish. And you're also right about approaching, I definitely should start being direct like "Hey, I'm god and I would like to have a sex with myself"

1. Yeah, absolutely. I also get bored with women quickly. Actually it's difficult for me to find some common topics to talk about because I don't like common topics. I like to talk about psychology, spirituality, psychedelics. 2. God has no limitation and he's also unbiased. For god it doesn't matter if I socialize with humans or with plants or rocks. There is only one real conscious self.

God’s actual Will

Wow! This is what I call absolute solipsism

I found a doll on amazon, check it out https://www.amazon.ca/Silicone-Dollformen-Realistic-Sexdoll-Shipments/dp/B0BQJ9F8F5/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3LIR5OSFNTG37&keywords=sex+doll&qid=1671939651&sprefix=sex+doll%2Caps%2C158&sr=8-1 It's just lower body I wouldn't mind trying to have a sex with a sex doll even if once, just to experience I remember when I was a kid I came to a friend of mine. He had a lot of toys and there was this huge teddy bear with a hole between his legs. I was 7 years old and my friend was like 6. I told him that I saw in a movie how a man was putting his mr. Pee inside a women (at that point I had no clue what sex was). My friend asked me "What do you mean?". I pointed out to the bear's hole and said "I'm gonna show you how was it"

God has no limitation haha it likes weird stuff

Bro, I feel really identified with you. When I was younger I had kind of the same problem with my mother and step-dad. The problem is hatred, you need to let it go and of course it involves a lot of suffering at first, maybe crying. I would recommend you to find a good psychologist or psychedelics or both. Boundaries are essential to live a healthy and joyful life. But boundaries are not the same as walls and I feel like you want to build walls instead of boundaries. Did you try to be straight forward with you relatives? Do they know that you feel anger toward them? Try to talk to them and see what happens

It's called ego backlash haha Moreover, I watched porn in a non-dual state.

Okay, let's get a little bit serious. Recently I discovered that I'm the only conscious being in existence, so relationships with others fly out of the window. There is nobody, but me. That's from the absolute perspective. Apparently to build a real intimacy I need a girlfriend that shares my view on life. She must be god realized otherwise there is no point for me being in relationships, just sex maybe. Which is why I need a sex doll. Intimacy is important aspect, but you can be intimate with yourself. About love... Love is everywhere, you are made out of love. My ego just wants to fuck and that's it, but it can't find peace and satisfaction because it's a trap.

What if I work for FBI?

A doll is better than porn because it's gonna be the same doll and I won't be able to buy a new one every week. Also I don't have to manipulate women in order to sleep with them, I really really don't like playing games.