Vlad_

I agree with you 100%, but it's not that easy unfortunately. Especially if you were raised in a dysfunctional society where everybody thinks of love as something conditional. It's like you deserve to be loved only if you do this and don't that. Now after years of personal development, psychological and spiritual work I'm starting to get the idea what self-love actually is. See this idea of unconditional self-love is a big threat for society, because it's not developed enough for it.

It's absolutely 100% correct. In order for someone to be awake there must be somebody. None of you posses your own consciousness and therefore none of you can be awake. Leo, you're not awake either

I made a list of questions to answer such as: “What is God?”, “Why God is?”, “Where did it come from?” etc. Previous time I did 4.5 grams of Enigma Mushrooms and I had rather a bad trip. This time I decided to go for 3.0 grams. I made a mushroom tea and took it with me outside. After drinking the tea, I sat on a stone near the beach and started going trough my questions. As I was doing that fear begun arising in me. I was afraid to get the same bad experience as the last time. I tried to concentrate on the questions but the fear was too strong. Also, my boundaries were dissolving again and it freaked the shit out of me. I told myself “Fuck this questions and fuck psychedelics” so I stood up, put my earbuds in and decided to walk until the end of the trip. As I was walking and looking around, I was seeing myself again. Everything was my mind, God’s mind. With this came realization that there is nothing in existence but my mind. Another wave of fear crushed on me. I was afraid that I would wake up forever and would never come back to the life. I couldn’t accept this idea so instead I tried resisting the experience. I was trying to convince myself that I’m not God, but of course it was in vain. In the back of my mind, I knew that whether I like it or not I am God and there’s nothing I could do about it. It’s an absolute fact and it will remain like this forever. So, there I was walking around trying to resist it. I was looking at my watch but it stopped. I knew that I’m imagining time. I asked myself “Now what? What am I gonna do?!”. I was like “Okay, fuck it, I’m just gonna Be for eternity and that’s perfectly fine”. I completely accepted my nature. With this fear begun dissolving. I started contemplating my questions. The first one was “Where did I come from?”. Of course, I’ve always been. Always means eternity and therefore it excludes any beginning or end. I also became conscious that I’m the only thing in existence, there can’t be any other gods or entities whatsoever. I’m the Source and I’m the Creator. I’m shining and everything is the reflection of it. I looked at my hands and as I was looking, I realized that I’m these hands and the body but paradoxically I’m not my body. My real body is nothing, it’s pure magical nothingness. Suddenly an interesting thought came to my mind “What if I can consciously go as deep as I want?”. Guess what? Of course, yes! Because I’m God! I started expanding my consciousness by will. I transcended all my memories and the past. I realized that nothing ever happened to me, all of it was just a dream that I made. All pain I’ve gone trough was illusion. All suffering that I saw all the wars, murders, rapes are just illusion. What is not illusion? Love. Love is the Truth. Infinite and pure God’s love is truth. God is just simply magical being made out of pure infinite love. When I realized it I transcended all possible fear. I couldn’t think of anything that would scare me. I became conscious that nothing bad will ever happen, it’s the absolute fact. I went deeper into the Love. I was experiencing deep bliss, happiness, joy, peacefulness and beauty! Of course, no words can explain it and there’s nobody to explain it to! Haha! A few other important things that I discover: 1. There is a paradoxical difference between Me and My creation that is also Me. My creation doesn’t have God’s will power and is controlled by Me. 2. All spiritual teaching are corrupted. They may contain some truth, but corruption ruins it. I created all spiritual gurus and teaching in order to delude myself. 3. Psychedelics the only valid tool to awaken. Meditation, retreats, yoga, breathing techniques are fantasy and can’t be used for spiritual awaking. All of them are good for human life (to be more peaceful, to be capable of accepting stuff, to be in control of the emotions etc.). I know this absolutely because I’m God. P.S. I’ve been doing mushrooms for the last 4 years but I had never had such deep awakenings. The quality of my trips on mushrooms has been improved after experiencing with 5MeO-DMT. Now mushrooms are as strong as 5MeO but way longer. I need to try combining 5MeO and shrooms. From God for God

Guys, have you ever practiced witchcraft? How was your experience? What kind of a book would you recommend to read for a complete beginner? If you have 0 experience please do not bother to respond, thank you!

Thanks!!!

Yes please!

I wonder what happens when I try 5MeO-Malt, but it's difficult to find it

I know it’s impossible to explain what happened but I’ll try my best. I made a mushroom tea (Enigma 4.5 grams). After 10 minutes I realized that something huge is on the way. I was very fucking right. I reached a terrific state of euphoria that you can’t possibly imagine. It was so bad I didn’t know what to do. Of course I realized that I’m god and nobody has consciousness. I became “body-less” and it made the entire situation more fucking bad. I just couldn’t help myself. The euphoria was so limitless and absolute it was extremely painful. I didn’t know what to do becase I knew that whatever I do it won’t change the situation. I was terrified by idea that I won’t ever get back to sleep. It scared the shit out of me. You guys have no clue what awakening actually is. I didn’t know either. I really wanted to die but of course I couldn’t die and i didn’t have my body to limit the experience. It was a complete disaster. Waives of painful and uncontrollable euphoria were killing me. But the most terrible thing was the idea that I lost my ability to sleep. Awakening is not what I’d thought it was. Not even fucking close !!! Also whatever 5MeO DMT awakenings i had were nothing comparing to this awakening. I’m so happy that I didn’t lose the ability to dream. So here we go again

I'm permanent but my appearance changes

1. Am I capable to re-create myself into the same body only because the body wasn't damaged? (after ego death). 2. Is it possible for me to get to the point of no-return ?(will I ever loose my ability to imagine life?) 3. What is going to happen after (if) my body dies? I'm ageing.

Yeah, these shrooms gave me a 5MeO break trough experience lasting 4+ hours. I though that I finally lost my mind. I

On 5MeO dissolution is faster and way more shorter. 5MeO trips on the other hand are more clear

I underestimated these mushrooms. I did 7 grams a few years ago, but that trip was nothing comparing to this one. I believe because my trips on shrooms became better after 5MeO-DMT. Which is why I want to try 1.5 grams of my shrooms and to vape 5Me0, but that's probably next year. Outside tripping is childish, but I had to go outside in order not to loose my mind completely.

Because I had this inner feeling that was pushing me on high doses. It has nothing to do with ego, it's pure curiosity. I guess I have it in order not to fall asleep forever. On the other hand, I'm also dump :)) I thought that I'm an expert in tripping on shrooms. I was wrong. I also thought I had reached the highest possible states on 5MeO-Mdt. Again, I was wrong. 10 - 15 minutes after taking shrooms. I had this gut feeling that something big is about to happen. "I've got God's balls this time" - I was thinking to myself. I was excited to see what happens. The rest of the trip (6+ hours). I was laying on my bed with my eyes closed. I was seeing some colours and shapes and I was trying to zoom into them as much as possible. And then I realized I'm God and I'm good by my nature. I started crying and wimping because I had always thought I'm really bad and not right! And the next moment my realization that I'm God became even deeper. "Oh fuck no-no-no" I was saying opening my eyes. I was seeing the same "objects", but this time there was no object. It was something I didn't know exactly what. Paradoxically I knew that I was constructing my experience, but at the same time I didn't have control over it. Then I realized what god actually is and what is awakening. It was happening to me because of me but I didn't know how! This freaked me out so fucking much. I put my earbuds and started listening to music. Next moment I realized that I'm listening to music in order to stop my awakening. At the same time the first waive of an extreme limitless and painful euphoria filled me up. The problem was I didn't have my body!!! So infinite love was filling me in and out erasing more and more of my possible boundaries. l realized I don't have boundaries and whatever I see it's just me. The difference between "inside" me and the "outside" was one - I had self-awareness and self-consciousness. First paradox - everything is consciousness but there's only one conscious being - me. I almost shit myself when I realized it. I was like "Ohhh! Fuck!!!". As I was dressing up, another infinite cycle of painful euphoria was hitting me. I lay down on my bed saying "okay, I'm just gonna accept it". But I couldn't, because I didn't have control over these waves. At that point a new type of wave crushed on me - panic. I was thinking "Oh fucking shit, oh fuck what am I gonna do". I was ready to commit suicide but I knew that I'm already dead. I guess that's where I entered the hell because I realized that I have a really high chances of not being able to fall myself asleep again. I begun telling myself “It will stop, just go outside!". From time to time I was looking on my watch and experiencing no time and eternity every minute (paradox, huh?) . I also noticed that whatever is happening just seems happening, nothing actually is going on. Everything is static although appears changing. I finished dressing up and went "outside". Again, it didn't change anything because it was the same me everywhere and nowhere at the same time. So there I was walking under the rain trying to fool myself that I'm not god and I'm about to get to fall asleep, but of fucking course I was conscious of lying to myself. Also infinite waves of infinite love were literally torturing me. I was tortured by infinite love. It didn’t matter how hard I was trying to accept it I just couldn’t. I entered the bus and took a seat. I realized even deeper that all boundaries are illusion and I’m everywhere in a form of everything. I started praying to myself to fall asleep. “Please I want to sleep, please…!” I couldn’t. “Okay” I told myself “I’m accepting this”. I couldn’t do that either because accepting the possibility of loosing my ability to sleep was too much of an ask for me. I realized that that’s my deepest fear and now it’s fucking reality! Awakening isn’t a pleasant and vanilla like experience. It’s a true fucking hell! See, I experienced something like that on 5MeO-DMT, but less intensely and only for 10 minutes or so. This time hours were passing by but all was the same. I was absolutely awake for eternity. I wanted to cry or to scream or to ask for help but I was too conscious for having otherness anymore. My game had collapsed. “Fuck, what have I done!!!” – I was thinking to myself. “What am I gonna do?”. Then I realized that doing is just illusion and only being is the truth. Since being means eternity, it scared me even deeper. The question was “Now what?”. I was seeing these things (that used to be other humans for me) knowing that these things are/is myself. I thought that I did something I couldn’t change – I woke up and lost my ability to sleep. Funny enough I was thinking “Maybe I could imagine Leo being more awake than I am” so I texted Leo lol. I was walking around shopping molls trying to convince myself that I’m going to “sleep soon” but it wasn’t really successful. So, I had to give up. At some point I really and deeply accept it. That’s where I begun to constructing my dream again. Thanks god (myself) that I have this amazing ability – to sleep .

Magic mushrooms were the first psychedelics that I tried 4 years ago. By this point I've been on 50+ trips on mushrooms. I had tried: penis envy, golden teacher, Mexican cubensis, blue meanies, malabar, etc. Recently I stumble upon a new type of the shrooms “Enigma” which is a mutation of B+ Cubensis. From my personal experience Enigma is the most potent shrooms I’ve ever tried. Today I did 3.5 grams and I was impressed with its potency. My highest dosage on shrooms was 8 grams (golden teacher) but still it wasn’t as powerful as these 3.5 grams. Visual field on these shrooms just insane! These shrooms cut through my ego as a knife cuts butter. I realized so many traumas and insecurities of my ego during the first wave of the trip (around 2 hours after I took them). It was terrifying, but I didn’t have a choice other then just surrender. The second wave (after my ego was dead) took me to the absolute. It was similar to 5MeO-DmT experience but of course longer. I love these mushrooms so much! Did you guys try Enigma shrooms?

For the last 6 months I've been doing a lots of psychedelics (shrooms, lsd, DMT, 5-Meo-Dmt) and I was telling myself that it's more important than anything else. I ended up developing addiction and I was in denial about. Also I became socially isolated (I was only talking to my co-workers). Eventually I also developed addiction to weed and all my spare time I would smoke joints, jerk off on some porn and eat fast food. I guess it's because I had realized that I'm the actual God and it scared the shit out of me. Nevertheless I stopped around a month ago and now I work a lot on my social skills. I don't remember feeling so good. Be careful with psychedelics !

My friend, I feel you. I have the same issue. But don't feel sad and don't be depressed. Sooner or later you'll get to the point of approaching. Start with small baby-steps. Try to go to meetups and just talk to people (men and women). Even if it will take you years to make an approach it's still fine. Don't criticize yourself, don't think that you're some kind of inferior man or something like that. Instead try to invest in yourself as much as you can. And of course - love. Self-love is the answer. The reason why you're afraid of approaching women is because you put too much value on them. You need to find out why you're doing so and become conscious of the root cause. Again, find more ways of loving yourself. If you can't - find a good psychologist who will guide you.

I remember I did some LSD and somewhere in the middle of the trip I decided to smoke some 5MEO. I did just a few puffs and then I just got scared as fuck so I stopped.

Hey guys, would you mind to share your top list of healthy fruits and vegetables and why do you think they are healthy. I want to clean up my diet as much as I can

In 2020 I stumbled upon an interesting booked titled "Your Brain On Porn". As I was reading it, I was getting the idea that porn can be dangerous for men. My problem was that I wasn't really skeptical enough so I blindly bought into the idea that Porn is horrible. I read a lot of stories about guys who watched some real shit on pornhub and I was afraid to end up the same way. I made a decision to stop watching porn. Eventually I shot myself in the foot. Why? 1. Not watching porn makes your sexual cravings unbearable. Yes, I'm talking about cravings for sex, not for porn. For me I need to have sex or to watch porn. There's no alternative, nothing in between. 2. NoFap made me needy. Whenever I was encountering with women I couldn't concentrate on their personal qualities, all I wanted was to have sex with them. I was basically objectifying them. Also it was a big turn off for women because they could sense my neediness. 3. NoFap made me aggressive and emotionally irritated. Again, I wasn't angry because I wasn't watching porn it was because I clearly and truthfully wanted to have SEX. 4. NoFap improved my confidence. Yes, no fap can boost your confidence, but you'll have to pay the price for it (and it's not worth it). I've been watching porn since I was 13 and now I'm 26. Amount of porn consumption hasn't been increased since I was 13 nor did I change my video preferences. I watch normal porn without animals or some weird shit. Don't buy into something without verifying it for yourself. Direct experience is your only authority.

It's been almost two years since I had sex for the last time, so I'm trying to cope with it as good as I can. Talking to girls isn't bringing me results at all (because I'm not yet experienced which is why I decided to go for a massage yesterday. Before going to the place I ate 3 edibles (each 10mg THC) and by the time I was standing at the reception I was actually high as fuck. Weed enhances my perception, intuition and empathy. As soon as I walked in I begun to feel some sort of pain. It seemed like the entire vibe of the place was pain, but I wanted to see what was gonna happen. There is a sauna and a pool at the place as well. It's all made in a luxury style, even the sign on the robe that I received was some kind of a king's crown. I believe it's to made men in the place to feel like kings or alfa like. I found it funny and sad at the same time, because in reality men who go there are despaired and far from being kings. They struggle to get the very basic need - sex. As I was soothing in jacuzzi with a bunch of other guys I concentrated on what they were talking about. It was sad because they were trying to talk 'cool' and to show off to each other, trying to be someone they were not apparently. I could cut trough their bulshit and again, I felt their pain behind every word. I asked myself a question "What the fuck am I doing here?". Of course I had the same reason as these guys - I was despaired and needy for a female touch as well. I actually felt like crying, but an attendant told me that my masseuse was ready for the massage. I walked in the room feeling weird as fuck. There she was staying, young Canadian girl. She was pretty. I got undressed and laid on the massage desk. The lightening was perfect, the music in the room was accommodating. But I still could feel the pain from every corner. As she began doing the massage we started talking. I don't think I ever talked to somebody in a such honest manner. At least not to girls. I was completely honest, vulnerable with her. I asked her what she was doing here and she said she needed money to finish her education. It made me feel horrible. She also told me that she has some kind of a psychological issues and that she had spent some time in a psychiatric clinic. ... I asked her what kind of a man come for massage and she told me it's mostly overweight, old men, psychologically unstable men and - "Normal man, like you". At some point I realized that what I looking for isn't sex, it's intimacy. My problem is in my personal experience the more hot girl the harder it is to find common topics to talk about. I'm not saying girls are less intelligent it's just hard to find an attractive girl with a high integrity, interest in psychology or self-development. I really really hope that it's just my limiting believes or bias. Anyways, I told this girl that I don't want the "happy ending part". It just didn't feel a right thing to do. Not because it's bad or immoral. It's because I could foresee the waive of pain waiting for me afterwards had I agreed on happy ending. Funny enough I was satisficed with the conversation. Have you ever been to this kind of places? How was experience?

I'm actually thinking about it. I spent 10 days in the Netherlands, I went to the Hague, Utrecht, Amsterdam, Rotterdam. I rode a bicycle around small villages. I'm fucking in love with the Netherlands. Where do you live btw?

Actually you're right. I met a plenty of good high-quality women and men in the Netherlands. The vibe there is just awesome, I really miss it here in the West.

hahhaa I can't stop laughing It's not only about women though. Also a lot of men.