i was told in a video that there is flouride in bathing water and it penetrates skin and blocks pineal gland.
and the only way to detox is to put turmeric water on the forehead will also pentrate into the brain.
so i put turmeric water on my forehead.
later i would think of my father and he would call me right when i thought about him.
i could predict future.
so i went on the iphone google browser instead of searching on google. i used the google browser to send messages and press search
so i would go on google write a message on the google search bar and press search.
ur supposed to use google search bar for googling things but i would write a message in it
i would fantasize or i would imagine a map of the world in my head.
i would see the whole world in my head and i saw soldiers on the world map(inside my head
i would everyday write on the google browser search bar messages and
in my head i would fantasize that soldiers were seeing my messages.
i was hateful on the world which i regret
and i would write on the google search bar positive things about american liberals and
for months i was writing on the google search bar browser: leave and dont spy on me.
but eventually i started to have a lot of fun seeing their reactions for months in my fantasy(imagining reactions to what im typing on the search bar)
seeing soldiers on a world map in my head imagination reacting
and i could do this all day wtyping on the google browser search bar.
i was having fun alot of fun but somebody on the map would constantly say negative things and i wrote on google search bar: go awayyy
huh in my head i see him respond to me saying go away so i get annoyed by these imaginations
so i get more annoyed and keep typing
and keep typing on the google search bar and for months
i would feel him saying negative things.
so i felt there was people that wanted to kill him and was annoyed by his behaviour as though they understood in my imagination
so i typed on the google search bar: kill him .
when i slept and woke up the next day i got imaginations fantasies that he killed him and i collapsed on the floor.
my heart was in pain i rushedd to the google browserr and wrote: do not kill
my heart hardened and i was tryna understand why i got ptsd and why my heart hardenedddd
Islam tells me to not kill people and thats all i need to do? easy? right? excepts its not. turns out that giving an order to kill is counted the same as killing
and i felt pissed at God when i figured that out it says that their heart hardened in the Quran after they killed:
“And [recall] when you slew a man and disputed over it, but Allah was to bring out that which you were concealing.- the quran “
Then your hearts became hardened after that, being like stones or even harder. For indeed, there are stones from which rivers burst forth, and there are some of them that split open and water comes out, and there are some of them that fall down for fear of Allah . And Allah is not unaware of what you do.”- the quran so they killed a person and their heart hardened but then i figured the verse:
“Indeed, Pharaoh exalted himself in the land and made its people into factions, oppressing a sector among them, slaughtering their [newborn] sons and keeping their females alive. Indeed, he was of the corrupters.” - the quran it says pharaoh killled those people but he only gave the orders. SHOCKINGLY REALIZEING IT.
I SAID SO WHY DOES THE VERSE SAY PHARAOH KILLED THOSE PEOPLE pharaoh only gave the orders.
so i understood that must mean giving orders count as killing
so i noticed that giving orders is the same as killing for the first time
so noww i live with ptsd and have become emotionally numb.
i dont feel emotions anymore and dont wanna live without emotions.
im suicidal i dont wanna live without emotionssss
i have no emotions anymore.
i said How can you NOT WARN ME ABOUT THIS GOD! why DIDNT YOU TELL ME THATS THE SAME AS KILLING.
i thought i can say kill and he filters the word out and decides whether to kill or not . that it is his decision and not mine.
i didnt think his decision depend literally on me
i thought he had a mind of his own. i had so much life infront of me
my life is ruined.
my heart has hardened. i live with ptsd
i heard the victim scream” tell him to stop tell him to stop”
i said to myself well he wants to kill you. he must really have a problem with you. .what does it have to do with me
i said to myself well this imagining stuff is not real anyway i didnt expect it to be real?
the voice of mine answered you damn right felt it was real and he had the urge to kill. then why did you to tell him to kill.
I SAID SHUT UP AM I EXPECTED TO BELIEVE THIS IMAGINATION IS REAL? well i dont reemember how real i felt it was
———— are you seriousssss that there are crazy people out there that would kill?
