@March
fear always shrinks us. when I am scared, I try to notice it’s happening and switch my focus on what I love.
do you have something you enjoy spending time doing or exploring?
example: MLK had a dream.
if I were in your shoes, I would try to focus on fear a lot less. Distract yourself with something more empowering and interesting.
My coach’s always says “find a better problem” and I was feeling that bubble up when I read your issue.
There will always be a “problem” and you just want to focus on the one that’ll grow you or just be way more fun.
new problem: What’s your dream (if you wanna be like MLK) or thing you want to  spend more time getting really good at?

This will help you to feel stronger on the inside as well.

Yea I actually almost envy you. You had sex for the first time and it was kinky sex on top of that. Not many people get to experience that. That's an awesome Christmas gift, isn't it? 
It seems you have been glowing(the glowing energy is reflected in your writing) since you had such a fantastic time. 
 
I'm still way too shy for sex. So this post is quite encouraging. 
 
 

First of all, I still don't understand why we keep using human sexual body parts as insults. You call someone a dick that's considered an insult, because it means they like to fuck with people. You call someone a pussy and that's an insult because it means they allow others to fuck with them. Can anyone realize how dumb this all is? Can we please reach a level where fucking or not fucking isn't an insult? "Hey man stop being a dick, well you stop being a pussy!!"
Look fucking and not fucking is a got damn duality. What we are gonna stop telling people to breathe or not breathe?
Ok now I am off my soap box!!! Good you are afraid but you are brave enough to admit your fears so look at that you are already walking the path of dealing with your fears!!! All your fears are normal!!! Absolutely completely normal!!! The fear of death is a central part of the hero's journey!! So how do you deal with it? You just slowly at your own pace do things you are scared to do!! Here is a tip that will save you hours upon hours!! No matter how much study or research you do, it will NEVER actually equal to doing the actual thing. But study is still important. Use study as a supplement to the actual thing, but never allow yourself to convince yourself that it is equal.
Central to your quest will be to continue to be as honest as you were just now about yourself. Central will also be to not get CAUGHT in judgment of yourself. Here is another secret to take with you, your life is going to be a duality of pain and pleasure until you figure out how to collapse the two into a union. For the time being it is okay and completely out of your control to go out, experience pain and then retreat to lick your wounds. This retreat will manifest in the form of avoidance, hesitation, isolation, demonization of others or things, and depression. This is normal and PAR for the course. Just become aware when you are licking your wounds, and don't stay in these states longer than you need too.
The phrase your life is your mirror, is one of the deepest realizations you will ever have one day. This mirror has to do with the way you talk, walk, emote, dress, your approach to adversity, your approach to the unknown/loss of control, your approach to the judgment of others, what you choose to eat, how often you read, how often you engage in activities that entertain you, the type of people you get along with and those you don't, the traits you admire in others, your ability to stick to something, your ability to detach from something, really pay attention to all these things and for the love of all that is great and beautiful please do not erect a story from all of this observation that you are totally worthless or pitiful. Here is another secret, the most rampant pandemic in life, is feelings of unworthiness. Many who feel this way also experience a feeling of being alone you aren't, that feeling you feel is the most common feeling of humanity. That feeling is the root cause of all human conflict, ALL OF IT!!! You could say the experience of being human, is the belief that you are unworthy which is why humanity as a whole truly believe that to live is to suffer.
If you want to be a true hero, you have to escape the pandemic, the illness, of unworthiness!! It's the largest trap in the beginning of the hero's journey and the sole reason you started the journey in the first place to discover your worth!!! So go forth and discover it!!!
P.S. Anyone telling you what a REAL MAN is, doesn't know it!!! REAL MAN is decided....by THAT individual man and NOBODY ELSE!!! The key to being a REAL MAN, is your own personal discovery for yourself which is why none of us can ever answer that for you. We can offer you our own models of what we admire...but think about it....if you follow everything to a tee what we say then you aren't real, or authentic you are just a carbon copy!!! REAL is a personal definition that YOU CREATE!!! A REAL MAN is his OWN personal creation!!! So go forth and develop your own REAL MAN!! 

In daytime situations like that your best bet is an authentic opener that just narrates how you feel. Like this:
"Hey there. I know this seems random, but I was literally just sitting there when I saw you and felt the urge to say Hello but didn't know what to say because I thought it would come off weird. But anyways, here we are. My name is _____ . Who are you?"
Or you can just do a very streamlined opener:
"Hey there. You caught my eye so I wanted to meet you real quick. Hi, I'm ______ ."
This opener works for basically any situation and it is honest.
The most powerful openers are observational and situational. You notice something about the girl's appearance and make a comment based on that. These kind of openers are a bit more advanced because you have to train yourself to be good at observing the girl. These require experience.

Men who are taking care of animals or children would appear more attractive for women because it subconsciously implies that they are emotionaly strong, mature, safe, compassionate and conscience human beings.
If you love cats and ready to take care of a cat because well, you geniunly love them and you want a good friend for the next 20 years, go for it.
If you adopt a cat only for the sake of making women to like you, well that's puny and better for you and for the cat, not to adopt a cat. What would you do if the woman you want or have a relationship with doesn't like cats or doesn't get along specifically with your cat? Will you throw away the cat?
Only because from your limited male perspective women and cats are the same, it doesn't mean that being good with cats automatically will make you good with women. It might help to some degree if you are very awful with treating well anything that is alive, because they are both living creatures and there are universal code behaviours that are true for treating well all the living creatures, but gaining cat's trust vs woman trust are completely different things. Beside that, there are different types of cats and different types of women. 
From your logical point of view cats are mysterious and women are mysterious too, so "solving" cats would help you to "solve" women.
But it doesn't work that way:
"Mulla Naruddin was saying to one of his disciples that life is like a woman... He was saying, "The man who says he understands women is bragging. The man who thinks he understands them is gullible. The man who pretends to understand them is ambigious. The man who wants to understand them is wishful. On the other hand, the man who does not say he understands them, does not think he understands them, does not pretend to understand them, does not even want to understand them- he understands them. And that's how life is also. Life is a woman. Try to understand life and you will become a mess. Forget a about understanding. Just live it and you will understand it. The understanding is not going to be intellectual, theoretical; the understanding is going to be total. The understanding is not going to be verbal; it is going to be non-verbal. That is the meaning when we say life is a mystery. It can be lived but it cannot be solved."
 
Either way, if your goal is to attract women, it would be smarter to directly experience with real women rather than taking a questionable detour through adopting a cat (that if you loved, you would've adopted earlier).

 
 
 
 
 
 
 

@VioletFlame Didn't even know music therapy was something you could get a degree for.
Interesting profression.
My opinions about your LP are irrelevant. As long as you love it, what else do you need? Do you.
Problems exist in every profession, you will work through them if your love for it is strong enough. Or you will quit and find something else.

If this is true, then opportunity is ripe for self-help teachers who buck all those negative trends
So then be ethical.
So add something new.
So invent something better.
So be a leader in the Middle East, or move elsewhere.
- - - - - - -
For someone who's supposed to be so masterful in self-development you sure make a lot of negative excuses
When you love a field deeply enough, you shouldn't care what bad work others are doing, you should throw yourself into it fully and lead the world with your amazing, revolutionary work.
Do you see great filmmakers complaining about all the crappy movies that are made? And that's the reason he can't enter the field of film-making? No! He's too passionate about making his own great movies to give a fuck about that.
If everyone is doing it so poor, why don't you show them how it should be done?

It's very problematic to look at enlightenment as a function of time. It's more a function of effort.
You can meditate for 40 years and never awaken. Because your effort is still weak.
If you are serious about awakening you need to start doing week-long and even month-long retreats.
Awakening via 1 hour per day of meditation is virtually impossible. You need to reach a certain escape velocity, which is almost impossible to do but through uninterrupted retreats.