Bulgarianspirit

Furthermore: The "eternally complete consciousness," a. k. a. God/Goddess/Self is the Infinite One proclaimed by mystics from every tradition. Direct knowing of the One Consciousness dissolves the self who would be the "knower." There is no one standing apart from the One to bear it witness when awakening occurs. Rather, the individual self is understood to be an illusion of a separate identity. All duality ceases to have meaning; there is no opposition or division anywhere. In the deepest sense, no one can awaken to this truth. Becoming Self-Realized is the experience of knowing there never was and never will be anyone to become enlightened, and that nothing but Consciousness IT-Self is eternally real. Mystics throughout the ages have struggled to convey this apparently logic-defying Reality which seems to be saying that nobody is there when satori/samadhi occurs. But that is just it -- there is no body, there is only the One Eternal Self, the true Self who we all are. In this highest sense, we do not each have a distinct and separate Atman/Self. Rather, we are individuations, creative expressions of a Single Being. Throughout my life this knowledge has followed me as a reminder that nothing in this world is entirely as it seems, particularly not my own ego-self. The few people I've personally met who awakened to the "you don't exist, nothing is real, nobody you love is real" Source/Self have been mentally and emotionally eviscerated by the experience. Yet for me, while still in the egoless God/Self state, there was also a spontaneous shift into the joy that Nancy later discovered was the second half of the equation. So I didn't spend years working through "issues" to get to that completion. My joy came during the experience of God/Self's ecstatic love for all creation -- even while acutely aware that all creation is maya, dreamstuff, nothingness. So I came "back" from it both reverberating with love and shattered by the knowledge of God/Self's solitary predicament. Reconciling God/Self knowledge with just about any other facet of existence was a humongous challenge. For a very long time, although I continued to function normally on the surface, I was in a twilight world where nothing, including myself, seemed to have any substance. I pretended not to know what I knew, and I was ever in search of an illumined soul who might somehow help me bear the weight of my secret knowledge. There was always an element of absurdity in the attempt to find someone who understood. I was ever aware that "I" in the encapsulated form of a human El Collie was a hollow shell, a clever pretense that Consciousness used to deliberately disguise itself. I knew why the disguise was necessary, while at the same time, I knew there was nothing which could be hidden and no one to hide from. I had the acute sense that I was a transparent vessel through which God plaintively sought relief from being God. I found myself filled with tender envy for those who believed in a God who was "other" -- a deity they could adore from a distance, sweetly enfolded in a relationship of child to Father or lover to Beloved. The God that had exposed IT-Self to me could neither be approached nor escaped from. Trying to come to terms with my lasting sense that nothing was real, I went on a rampage of reading all the religious and occult literature of every sect and creed I could find in hopes that I might come across some piece of wisdom that would rescue me from the immensity of what I knew. I found what I had experienced being described over and over again, couched in myriad symbols and semantics. The God I experienced had not set up the universe as a labyrinthine game of solitaire, the sole purpose of which was to find the way back to the starting point and win. The game, if one would call it that, is infinite, and both poles are necessary: self as individual and Self as Cosmic Source; world as Self-creation and world as everlasting mystery; yin and yang in eternal embrace. "One has to live in the two extremes; like the snake, up and down, right and left," wrote Jung. "One cannot take the road of life without taking both sides of it because one side alone would lead to a standstill; if one wants to live one must endure the opposites because the way is two-fold." (from The Visions Seminar) I had no idea at the time of my realization that so many others throughout history had experienced this same awakening. Even if I had known, the last thing I wanted or needed to do after my enlightenment was to proclaim myself any kind of advanced soul. This would have been in contradiction to the realization itself, since it had been made wholly clear to me that at the ultimate level, there was no one in existence but the One, and that even God-asleep-to-God in so many "dream" forms of multiplicity was by divine design. There was no one else for me to attempt to awaken. "On seeing through the illusion of the ego, it is impossible to think of oneself as better than, or superior to, others for having done so," Alan Watts aptly put it. "In every direction there is just the one Self playing its myriad games of hide-and-seek." (from The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are) Years after I had this experience I came across a Hassidic Jewish teaching that God needs man as much as man needs God, and this is definitely true. God needs creation as much as creation needs God, just as all of us need each other. We were created to be a loving universal family and to be beloved children of God forever. Yet the paradox is that although we have been "created" as eternal souls, we have never left the mind of God and in that sense we don't really exist, we're just God-thoughts. In some of the Eastern religions, they don't speak of God (or Goddess), but of "Self" because there is a level where there isn't anything to be drawn into the Light, there is just One mind dreaming the universe. "The spiritual world is one single spirit who stands like unto a light behind the bodily world and who, when any single creature comes into being, shines through it as through a window," said Aziz Nasafi. "According to the kind and size of the window, less or more light enters the world." This single "spirit" is the Self/Source addressed by the Katha Upanishad: "Smaller than the smallest, greater than the greatest, this Self forever dwells within the hearts of all." The same spirit/Self/God is, as Joan Borysenko writes (in The Fire in the Soul), "present in all things, all experiences." http://web.archive.org/web/20130606091318/http://www.elcollie.com/st/god.html

Um... I don't want to elaborate on how it is possible.. All i will say is that an infinite mind can use a variety of bodies to speak to itself. i truly want to believe that just like a dissociative personality disorder, if one of the personalities becomes conscious it realizes it is all of the others as well. i have talked about this in other topics as well but basically: Okay All we are is living memory not in a being's mind, we're just a living memory a living thought our surroundings made of memory beings aren't really real, anyhow bodies aren't real it's all interplay of consciousness it let me see it, it was beyond doubt we are all the thoughts and memories of a mind which self-creates and evolves we, its own parts, do the creating as we seek to experience, we create the experiences in the mind the start, suns, the planet, none of this is real it is here for us to play with, it is all play, our body none of you are alive the fact that there is more than one person in existence is a myth We/I believe it though Vehemently. we are making memories of things, but they're not really happening, for things are not real the things are part of what we see when we look, we see we expect to find, so we do we expect order so it's there We expect it to be consistent so it is (the computer I'm typing this on keeps glitching, space isn't right) it doesn't want me to type this but I am a part of it that does so I will all IS MIND Not in the sense of our minds, they are just self-aware wrinkles in the larger mind, which is more like we'd think of as a memory bank perhaps we are made of its body and we are its body I am me believing that I am me and I am you believing that I am you all that separates us is doubt. Belief is the creator and doubt the destroyer any self-awareness that it has depends on our self-awareness on what we perceive for we are it yet it doesn't feel like god to me perhaps because I do not want it to but it has answered my request and let me take the knowledge back or rather, I did I felt my body pared away my limbs and fingers like hollow straws, then mere concepts we are all of us looking at ourselves and being what we think we are that is what we are I am it, it is me, but I am a tiny part of it, while it is not contained in me The multiple personality thing: I must preface this by saying that I think salvia is potentially as deceptive as reality itself (Maya) can be, so nothing gleaned while using it can be positively known to be the truth. I take this as a comfort in the context of what I am about to relate: The Darkest Interpretation Of Reality On many trips I have found myself in a situation where I seem to just know things about the Universe. In many of these I have run across a dark interpretation of reality that I've never heard any of the New Age crowd talk about. Oh sure, I hear them talk about how All Is One and how great that is, and how we are all facets of the One that is All There Is, and when we die we return to that source, that loving source of all, and how mindblowingly wonderful that must be. I mean, it does sound pretty good. And I do get a strong sense that we are indeed all facets of the One Thing; that we are indeed all One. The people that believe in such things generally say that the One separated into the Many in order to create the Universe and all within it. It was an act of love, so they claim. What else would it be? On my travels into salvia space, I heard something else. (More accurately sensed it as if it had happened to me) The One did indeed separate into the Many, but that was no act of love. It was an act of desperation fueled by abject horror. The One went insane, you see. The One was ALL that there was, the only single solitary thing in existence, and eventually after eons of that, it fractured into the Many in much the same manner that a schizophrenic descends into madness- out of sheer stark-raving terror. It was so *lonely,* so very *lonely,* and it could only hold dialogue with itself. More utterly *alone* than anything we humans can even begin to imagine, utter terror, the darkness of madness, and the prospect of eternal fearful isolation drove it to fracture itself into many minds all desperately trying to cling to and believe that they really are individuals which are completely separate from each other and above all else, that they're really definitely positively not in actuality only one being. (please oh please oh please let's never ever ever let ourselves remember that we're really all just one solitary being, not that, not ever, never please never, anything but that...) The whole reason we're "here" is so that we don't have to be *there.* There with the One, there in that awful state of knowing full well that we are not we, we are instead I, and I am fucking lonely and afraid and absolutely mindlessly terrified of my reality as the only fucking being in all existence. Not just the only being, but the only thing! Hell, there *IS* no existence, only me. Anything but that, anything but that, anything but that. Worse than death is eternal solitude. Worse than death is not being the Many. Worse than death is being all that there is. We cling to this reality with all our might, because it is the balm that soothes our brow, the sanity that we lack in our natural state as The One Single Being with nothing to do but contemplate itself and go eternally fucking nuts because of it. God has multiple personality disorder, times infinity. The first time this came to me it overwhelmed me. I actually cried for The One in pity, feeling it's awful pain, vividly sensing it's despair and loneliness, and then TERROR STRUCK ME as I realized that it was myself that I was crying for, for I am it, and it is me, and we are/I am a royal fucking mess. Yes, we/I deserve pity if anyone does, but there's no one to pity me but me, no one else to turn to for comfort, and no way to deal with myself and what I really am and remain sane other than to deny to myself that that's what I really am. I must live a lie or face my own insanity. So that's what I've been doing, for pretty much eternity now. Reality is a by-product of my desperate need to distract myself. I am the subject and the object. Not nearly as much fun as being the Alpha and Omega, let me assure you. So the multitudes are all a self-inflicted wound to distract me from the fact that I am all there fucking is, and all there fucking ever will be, forever and ever, amen. Individuals of a certain introspective temperament such as myself seek one-ness, never realizing that we are only here as individuals in the first place because we are fleeing it desperately. Maybe sometimes finding higher knowledge isn't such a good thing? http://salviaspace.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-darkest-interpretation.html

Damm dude you broke the machine. But seriously this is the same as solipsism. ... Ehhh what can i say except, sorry. I thought others could be conscious too, yet when i leave my body only i see, i can never prove other minds and perspectives. Spiritual people always seem to go towards solipsism first, i went through your horror as well, feelings of wait i'm already dead, everything is an illusion, i'm god etc. However i also don't know if this is the exact truth. I think consciousness aka my real self can look at itself through many unlimited perspectives, aka it can be this ego BulgaraianSpirit, Leo,Adam8 and whoever else exists simultaneously. Something like multiple personality disorder, but more advanced. Idk what the truth is, i have been through what you have been. I have had these feelings, that i'am creating everything etc. However i have also been through the mess of realizing i'm nothing empty consciousness itself xDDD Whatever it is, just enjoy the ride.

I like Leo more because he says things like he experiences them,believes them and sees them. Sadhuru always tries to be liked and say the politically correct answer... He could be enlightened yet doesn't have the strenght to say fuck it and say the truth no matter what. Cheers to Leo for that

You are infinity aware of a particular aspect of yourself subjectively... But within infinity it has limites finite choices,as it is one of those limited body minds, imagined by god. I can say it like this as well,you are awareness aware of a being that seems to be making choices, however any choice the being makes is predetermined as a reaction,to the being's environment,upbringing, education and other factors, decided for the being before it was born. The causal link being longer than words satisfy, the being seems to be devoid of free will and choice. Furthermore the being doesn't seem to have control over likes and dislikes, thoughts, behaviour patterns and actions, as they are also related to everything surrounding it. Everyone begins at 0, empty a baby yet they are shaped by their surroundings. Its fairly safe to say if you switch a serial killer's upbringing he could be a model citizen.

True, very true. If he faces the pain he will heal and understand where his pain is coming from.

I would say it is creating while simultaneously embodying every aspect of it's creation... Trying to define an infinite, all pervasive formless cosmic intelligence is hard with words...

Man i made the same mistake, being sold the lie that she is the love of my life and being sucked into it. It sucks ass. Snap out of it she is just a girl.This advice of focusing on self is so true. Eventually you wont care about her though.It is you who creates these feelings of love within you. If my current ex goes and fucks a thousand dudes it's not my problem. I used to hurt over thoughts like this. To me she is as good as dead now.

Maybe, i don't really know.. Spiritual experiences are weird in that way. When i am out of body it is liberating,free and no pain. You could be right. But being in that state man... Knowing there are better lives out there for you, happier lives... Or the other state of feeling bliss and the grace of self... Man you come back to this ego.. And be like fuck what am i doing here

"I have found that your soul does not care to see you suffer if that is what it takes for you to grow. I have found that your soul does not care to see you suffer if that is what it takes for you to grow." Ughh... Maybe the highest no self watcher.. But i can tell you the more i suffer and don't want to stay here the more out of body experiences i have. Recently i had a dream where i was mocking god with the devil and asked him if he had a twisted sense of humor. Had an obe became the soul in a tunnel, then became the nothingness, the no self watcher watching the soul go around. Basically that proved yes, the true self has a twisted sense of humor.I have a twisted sense of humor. Eventually fell down and woke up. I had another experience before that angel like transforming being were holding me up on a weightless platform i was levitating in my dream... They said love and i surrendered. One of the beings said now you are going to die in 3 seconds. I surrendered then i went out of body... I saw the tunnel but my soul remembered and told itself :"hey wait aren't I a human" oh what a mistake that thought was... I might have chosen to come here, but due to unforseen circumstances this self can't stand itself. You can have obes from suffering,pain and hate. Hell it makes sense, when the dream becomes a nightmare you wake up ... Even my dreams sometimes just lead me to a tunnel with multiple realities and i'm flying through.... Wanting to escape lol. My soul suffers as i suffer that much i will say. Sometimes i wish i could stay in another dream and not wake up here.

Believe whatever makes you happy bro. Maybe for you it is a good thing. It really depends on the person. Glad to hear you are doing well

They might also be attracted to the dude, i mean he is running a succesful business, also might be bored with their husbands.

Dude look around the relative and you will see soul mates are not real. People are failing miserably at relationships, also too much cheaters for there to be soul mates. Oh no i cheated on my soul mate. Shouldn't that be impossible as your feelings will compel you to be in love? Also aren't soul mates destined to meet? I don't see this happen lol.Also if she is your soul mate she should want to do anything for you to love her too. You see it's a crazy self perpetuating fantasy. People are fickle their feelings change, see even science proved some people have promiscuous genes. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/210277 It's all about survival here on this little rock and the program doesn't care about how you feel, only if the human race survives. However i don't really care about that myself. I have seen god and what game it is playing and i don't want to fall for it's lies anymore. I can do what i want now. Also look at this and have your own conclusions. I am here to have a constructive argument, as when your fantasy falls apart you would be more sorry. The women i loved most, cheated on me and left me. I can't trust my heart anymore that is all i'm saying. I used to be like you man i thought my ex was the one. But it was a lie and i was ready to do anything for her. It was all a lie i believed in and created in my heart. An illusion. Dude save yourself the pain seriously. I wanted that fantasy so bad fam i know how you feel. The final argument i would like to add is the spiritual argument. If you are a soul(ultimately god in disguise) you are complete on your own without needing a woman or anyone. This is just a type of neediness that comes from the human loneliness factor, but man seriously no one can complete you, the love you feel towards your "twin flame" is created in you . You always feel your love not hers. So basically be that love and you will be happy, that is the spiritual path. Sounds easy on paper, but i am having problems with it myself hahah, And last but not least, fellow spirit i wish things were different myself too. I wish twin flames were real. Reality is disappointing and doesn't seem to comform to our desires. I hope somewhere there within infinity such a reality exists and i get to experience it one day. I wish you the same

Truth. All is one soul, twin flames don't exist. You could say everyone is your 'soulmate'.

Selfishness lol. Getting their needs met at any cost. Human ego creates selfishness, then people wonder why.. Also cheaters think they can have their cake and eat it too. UK man finds out three sons aren't his after raising them for 20 years https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.newshub.co.nz/home/world/2019/01/uk-man-finds-out-three-sons-aren-t-his-after-raising-them-for-20-years.amp.html

Most people are low consciousness and egotistical, better safe than sorry. You can see it in relationships as well. I need you to provide for me, or i want sex on the men side... Quite honestly it becomes hell when money is involved and i think mostly men get the bad end of the stick,divorce child support paying her loans etc. Humans are a mess and love is a transaction,conditional, so everyone should have one thing in mind. As for hypergamy... Well i wish it didn't exist but who am i to piss on god's creation? There is always a richer,smarter, better looking man or woman and cheating is hell. But its your fault you got cheated on... Yeah that fixes everything thank you not You could waste so much time money and sanity trying to maintain a relationship, this is why i love the red pill. I have a choice i can walk away. All the disney fantasy of true love being a lie,you can just let reality be itself and watch with popcorn.

Jesus, i would hate to be those guys.

Whatever the truth is i recommend both genders to avoid getting used. Also being single ain't that bad. Sometimes people rush into relationships only to clean the mess after. There should be a balance, if you lose your relationship you should still be happy. I am also trying to work towards that myself.

Thanks

I honestly don't know i just don't want to repeat the same mistakes. It is difficult sometimes to judge people, the women i was with were pretending. They were total materialists in the end, only looks and status matter to them. This is why i don't trust anyone. However i know the fault is my own, i should have never let anyone use me or get so close to me, without doubting their lies. Probably not all women are like that , heck i'm just living in a perception bubble. but i just want peace and quiet at this point. Maybe in the far future i will have healed, but now my life is a mess. About the mdma therapy thing, i would never hurt myself in any way. I keep having out of body experiences and it's like my soul doesn't want to be here anymore. I hope things get better, but i would never hurt my family in any way, i know my time here is limited anyways.

Empty promises for love,sticking together etc. But i don't care anymore man i see this all around me wherever i go, the red pill is very real. Many of my friends and colleagues had their relationships end, things just end, but i don't want to be on the losing side anymore. For me men invest more,women can just leave and find a better mate. I will focus on myself and money,even if a woman comes along, if she strays i wave her goodbye,without remorse. Also i'm never getting married, what is mine is mine. I fell in love only because a lack of love from family and abuse. Now i know there is no love for me out there.

I support it after my ex almost made me kill myself,go into debt and find god(crazy life) But basically i will never trust a woman the same again, i was even thinking of going monk. However i dont blame her it's all my fault for even loving her. She was a user pretending to be sick and unable to work so i provide for her. Then she just cheated with a richer dude. I also lost faith in love, hypergamy is very real and i want to protect myself otherwise i might end up in the gutter. Let women love all the rich,muscular men out there(was cheated by both my girlfriends) I just don't want to play a losing game anymore.

You just had a bad trip i have had it as well, i thought i was dead, in a coma or worse. I have also had depersonalization and other issues. Stopping psychs fixes it at least makes it bearable to live

Depends on the person. Structure eventually collapses for me. I have restlessness and a yearning for freedom, which hasn't been satisfied yet.

Leo is just pointing the truth for himself. Meaning is self-created but ultimately a lie. If you want kids have them,no Leo no one can stop you. And in the end it's just a dream it doesn't matter if you have kids or not.