Endangered-EGO

@Nak Khid Its interesting to view different perspectives.

How would you guys recommend people to get out of the dark night of the soul? There are so many. I was in it too, died nearly every day for 6 months and then the nothingness went away. It is for the same reason I can not take drugs, this would probably give me a panic attack and get me right into the DN. Meditating on infinity is no problem though, I am okay with the small detachement. How do you overcome the fear of the nothingness/dying? Or is it normal to feel a little afraid and weird when it is happening? Is it also normal to experience Depersonalisation in between the "dying". Like experiencing the nothingness just a little bit? I am not in it right now, but there are a lot of people who are, and I will maybe fall back into it. I guess that with love this process would be beautiful and not strange and painful?

@PenguinPablo Its basically everything that Leo explained about enlightenment and the formless. It depends on luck, apparently some people are more frequently aware about the formless. That's why you need to label every sensation/object, like emotion, sight, feeling, thought etc, so once the formless comes up you realize it is something that is different, has no form. Then you need the right meditation/concentration skill to be able to focus on it. However if you have a panic attack, that gives you the concentration of a monk, because it is fuelled by fear. I was feeling the formless and decided to smoke a blunt to "come down", no psychedelic just weed. Then I had a panic attack for 2 hours, weird pulsations in my Body too. For the next 6 months I died every day. None of that would have been possible if I hadn't felt the formless before lighting this blunt. No even if I smoke a little bit of weed, I feel the nothingness. I however don't believe it is possible for everybody, weed wont give you ego death without sensing the formless prior to that. I would also not recommend inducing a panic attack on the formless. I was 16 back then and never heard anything about spirituality or enlightenment.

Good Luck with that, dying for 6 months every day didn't enlighten me, it just gave me a huge ego backlash that lasted for years. I also didn't accept the shit and love that came up inbetween. You don't really have a choice, you cannot fight the dying process, and if you try, it doesn't change anything to it happening. Hope you will be okay

So again. There are 3 things for me. The formless (like the nothingness, infinity and more), being the ego, and just being the observation and being laid back in trance/flow and just letting things happen. For example right now, I am just observing myself typing this. I hear my voice, I feel my fingers tiping it, but I am not doing this. It s like being in a deep meditative state where things just are. Then there is the formless. Infinity overshadows ever other perception, but the nothingness feels like dying, and realising there is nothing there. But I am able to become an observer without perceiving the nothingness in that specific Moment. If I am aware of the nothingness, then sure, but this state can also happen without the intense feeling of dying right? When I am in a room with a lot of people, I feel their energy and I suffer If I don't go into the trance state of being the observer. No need for the formless. So I was told this was nonduality? Or do I actually need to experience the formless 24/7 first? I know an enlightened woman, she told me that I am able to switch between duality and nonduality. She can switch from duality to nonduality and the formless within a second, and not have thoughts at all when she wants to. That for me is enlightenment. However She told me the formless isn't needed to go into nonduality. She said if she wants to feel the formless she goes into nonduality first and then into the formless. She is basically referring to a state of "Flow/trance" and it really helps me when I am around people. She called that state of pure observation nonduality. Now that's semantics... it helps me. What do you call the state enlightened people remain in when they are the observer but want to function? They cant stay in the infinity if they want to have thoughts or have a conversation with people... I am apparently able to enter that state of being the observer, how is that called? I feel it when I see enlightened people, I just sense that they are being the observer, which kind of fills the room with purity... However I feel the people acting a little anxious-weird when I am the observer. (I don't want to make them feel weird though) Its like they look in a mirror while talking to me.

What is the difference between nonduality and the formless? The formless includes nonduality, but apparently nonduality is also possible without experiencing the formless in the present moment. I have had psychotic states of the nothingness and was also able to meditate on infinity and keep up the nothingness throughout the day. It s clear to me that the formless comes with nonduality, but right now for example I believe I can just become an observer (nonduality?) without experiencing the formless. Is that correct?

I went all the way back (into the formless) and just a little inbetween. I didn't have specific past life story experiences, but a few things I saw, a woman after her wedding at home. I was the father and really happy. Must have been between 1950-1970 because of the way I was dressed. I SAW it, I was in perspective. No visualisation. An enlightened woman told me during astral travel that death closed my heart chakra and hurt my "light-body". I didn't tell her my chakra was closed before, and she didn't know it, I just thought there was nothing wrong with having no emotions at all. She took away my fear by healing my astral Body. I have also visualised the destruction of earth, creation of the moon by 2 formless cosmic creatures. I was the feminine force who then enlightened the first woman on earth. A few days later the Kundalini snake crawled up my spine. Since then I call those 2 forces Shakti and Shiva. I went in UNBIASED. A few days ago I tried to go all the way back. I was the nothingness, being split into shakti and Shiva. Then going away from each other and exploding in infinite opposite energies. Energy then forming big concentrations from both opposites. Colliding with each other and creating matter. The matter formed systems which interreacted/collided with each other. Then formed bigger systems until the "matter" was one big concentration and exploding again into opposite energies. Afterwards those energies concentrated again into Shakti and Shiva who reunited into the nothingness. I VISUALIZED it. There is no such thing as "seeing" the formless like a past life regression. However I felt the shakti energy and the formless afterwards in communication with those forces. The woman who healed my astral Body told me she had folders full of the Big bang. She is enlightened. I however am NOT enlightened. Just had a few awakenings. There is something called soul travel, which makes it easier to come in contact with past lifes. It goes up all the way into the formless, if you already experienced the nothingness. Being in trance you go there automatically.

Unfortunately nobody seems to give a damn. I guess I'll have to find another guru who can tell me exactly what to think and do (joke)

4 Monks are driving together in a car. Who is driving? -Nobody My Guru lives in a house with no doors, just a sign: "For enlightenment look inside". Can I just look through the windows or do I still need to find the hidden front door?

@Javfly33 Could be the start of Kundalini. Try to focus on your lower back, you'll notice if the snake comes up However remember to ask the energy to regulate itself, and don't try to pull it up all the way, don't stop it either. Just let go. It's not incredible pain, but it goes a loot smoother without fear. Make sure to have no drugs or stimulants in your system.

@Javfly33 Kundalini is literal. It starts differently for people. For example pulsations vibrations etc. But the Kundalini is like a electric snake literally crawling up your Spine. No visualisation, you can feel the snake. It kind of feels like your penis close to an orgasm, but IN YOUR SPINE. A pretty good feeling. And when it moves, or when it "shoots up energy" it burns. My face felt like fire. Shiva and shakti represent the divine energy. Terrifying yet beautiful.

@Chumbimba Psychedelics is nothing for unexperienced Mystics. You know what happens if you regularly take a lot of high doses of psychedelics without preparation? All the shit that would have come up during years/decades of meditation comes up all at once. You WILL fear the formless and end up in the dark night of the soul. If you are genetically more likely to experience psychotic states, you will probably experience the first formless things pretty fast if you meditate a lot.

@Leo Gura I would love to see him have a full blown Kundalini awakening. It would heal his auto-immune illness and turn one of the most known "rational Christian philosopher" (for the lack of a better term) into a Mystic. The biggest Problem with Christians (those here in Europe, your Christians in the US are more similar to the ones we had in the middle ages) is, they believe that the Devil tries to bring them of the path by doubting the religion. Ironically, by blindly following the bible or some deluded priests they fall into the Devils trap... I believe they first need to understand that their religion is not just a conceptualization of the truth that Jesus saw, but also a philosophical interpretation by those who wrote and taught it. A lot of catholic priests here in Europe are borderline mystics. They simply need the tools. Once it reaches the Vatican, Christianity WILL develop. Priests have mystical experiences (mostly Love), they just need a little push into the right direction.

@zeroISinfinity Yeah but somehow, I was never able to experience what I intended to experience, Energy shots, nothingness, infinity, Kundalini. I was always offered something I didn t expect or aimed for.

Was it a thought, or was it a formless perception? To understand the formless you have to experience it. I believe this might just be you trying to conceptualize it, and no mystical experience.

This is not the buddhist interpretation of Karma? Good attracts good, and bad attracts bad Good generates good and bad generates bad. Now Is it possible to fix the viscous circle by consciously trying to be selfless? Am I missing something or is the buddhist karma just wrong? After meditation on infinity I started to act more in a selfless manner, I don t know if I simply followed the buddhist path or if it is just a result of increased consciousness. I however understand that a state of selflessness is also a state of not-knowing. Not-thinking. Not-rationalising.

@Bno You didn't raise Kundalini at all, and your Depression might have nothing to do with your practices, maybe with your Expectations? Who knows Buy Leos Booklist and read the "best book about enlightenment". I don't know if I am allow to openly post the name of the book here on the forum, because maybe you need to buy that information from actualized... If you feel strange pulsations or the snake suddenly starts to crawl up. Do 4 things. Talk to her (shakti), stop trying to pull the snake up, don't try to stop it, but respectfully ask the energy to regulate itself so you don't go through horrible pain. Don't be afraid if you feel high and sick the next days, but watch funny stuff "The snake likes to laugh". It will pass and when you are ready it will come again. Its however not for your ego to decide when or what, but for your "soul" or higher self. Clean all of your chakras before you even think about forcefully awakening Kundalini...

@Bazooka Jesus How did nobody tell him to become a mystic yet? He prays and waits for anything that comes up.... Which is basically a state of grounded not-knowing. If he got deeper into that with meditation and more mystical, without any assumptions he would rapidly change his views, change the world, and change his audience... Can someone slip him 5 Meo DMT into his drink? (just kidding. Never slip drugs to anyone without their consent even if you think that will "enlighten them", just needed to say that)

I never suffered from social anxiety before my first awakenings, but after the 6 month period of regular non dual awakenings (nothingness) when I was fully back into duality, social anxiety started to come up and it got worse and worse. Probably the ego backlash. Now 5 years later an enlightened person (who can switch from duality to nonduality anytime she wants, so I guess that s close enough to enlightenment) told me that it is not social anxiety, but the "Self" perceiving all the energies from those people around and the ego tries to differentiate from them. When I stop trying to differenciate between me and them, and just focus on them the fear disappears for a moment, until my monkey mind thinks about me, me and me. Not nonduality, no mystical states, just the mind differentiating or thinking about ME. Little absurd story: I was also able to show her my light-Body and she told me which chakras were open and which ones were closed (which turned out to be true) and she made my light-Body bigger (I felt it) . Now I never tried any astral travel or something, I just had the intuition to try it, and she never did something like that "on command" either, said it was the first time that had happened to her. I would usually call that BS, but it worked. I don't know what a light body is and never astral travelled either, I just saw hers and then she tried to fix me and told me what was wrong. So now I am pretty open minded to anything. Any thoughts on those 2 things? Do you have any Idea how to explain it? Alternative explanations?

I still feel the snake, and got sick for a few days, but Now I am fine. I am so gratefull to have those people who helped me through it. The snake is still down the spine, I need to open my chakras first, or the shakti will do it against my egos will. I think I have time to ground myself and continue trusting the energy.

During Meditation I noticed a tingling sensation and like a trembling in the root of the spine. It comes in cycles when I focus on it and tends to get stronger the longer I focus on it. I suspect this is going to be a Kundalini Awakening, once the Energy goes up the spine... I just did this for a while and now I kind of feel energized, sometimes I also feel this trembling on other places in the Body, not sure it is physical though, could be energetical. It went up the spine for about 1 inch (3cm) then I stopped focusing on it. What should I do? Focus on this trembling in the root of the spine until I have a full blown awakening? During the last weeks I was also able to focus on something formless (infinity) for the first time. I think there is definitely something happening, what can I do to get the most out of my situation?

@Mu_ I have huge respect for it, I am just afraid and trying to calm myself... I ve had nondual experiences, I freaked out every time in the beginning, thought I was going crazy, but in the end I accepted it even though it is painfull. I stop meditating and try not to play around with it. It showed me that if I panic it wont make it worse. Don't know if it means I should invite her anytime I am ready though. might not be a good idea. Fighting it isn't a good idea either no?

She gave me a little bit of a taste of unconditional love, the first time the snake moved up, I had a tear in my eyes, I think I start to understand, the message she wanted to give me. I try to pray to her and be thankful that I can make the experience. However I am still afraid of the symptoms, and I think she understands that.

@Dumuzzi It s fascinating lol, it is like a micro snake crawling up the spine very slowly and someone putting random mild energy shocks into different parts of the body. Energetically sculpturing my body in some way haha. Thank you for your help

@Dumuzzi Thank you, I am in facebook groups and some people tell me I m unprepared and this is going to fuck up my whole nervous system, and I will suffer etc. I will pray to her, any method that helps? Or any website where I can learn about this inner goddess?