Endangered-EGO

@lbranjord What specific symptoms do you have from DP/DR? DP/DR, is the dark night of the soul, the ego being afraid of the nothingness and being ripped into pieces during every episode.

@Arzack Tell us how you got there and what types of awakening you had (see leo's video about the facettes of enlightenment)

@Chris_1982 @Chris_1982 Does it feel like a very fast more subtle heartbeat? I have this in all my chakras It might be prana. Try pranayama before meditation and see if it increases. If you're able to make it bigger you could trigger a kundalini awakening. Try to make it your object of meditation if you feel ready for kundalini.

@Arzack You know this state won't probably be permanent right? I have seen people who have spent decades in and out of awoken states of consciousness. When they are out of it they desire to go back in. That's the difference between an awakening and enlightenment.

@cetus @cetus My sense if self is very subtle, but I get your point. @Breakingthewall On multiple occasions, I also wasn't really fully emerged into it either. God is such a big word, nothingness and infinite consciousness might be 2 aspects of God, but not the full picture (I hope). I want to be speechless after the God awakening.

Hello, I want a God-Awakening. Something is building up in my consciousness right now, I believe that I am close to an awakening, and I am looking for self inquiry methods specific for God. I would like to access "Access concentration" everytime before I do self inquiry. So I'd love to use a method that can be used while being in that deep state of concentration. Somehow I never got the awakening I wanted. The nothingness came because of a trauma, when I tried to focus on the nothingness I got the infinite consciousness and spent days without ego, and when I tried to meditate on inf. Consciousness I had a spontaneous kundalini awakening. Now unfortunately I cannot get those awakenings to come up regularly again, and would like to realize I am god. What can I do during meditation to find HIM. I am going to do that for 30 days and see what happens. I can't use psychedelics, because those might shoot me in the dark night of the soul again. I'm going to keep you posted.

@Fran11 I do self inquiry by focusing on an object I cannot identify if one comes up. I probably already had that during Access concentration I often have the focus on autopilot, it feels like there is no effort needed to stay in 100% focus, and the mind works by itself. Feels really good, but there aren't that many insights to get from that state of mind. I was also able to enter the first jhana multiple times but that was years ago.

@Breakingthewall Ego death mostly in the evening while eating. Only nothingness, I was told that this is basically God, but I don't think that was everything there is to it. Apparently during the God realisation you can only utter the word God. It just stopped happening after 6 months. No treatment, nothing.

@Breakingthewall I felt the presence of the infinite consciousness and smoked a blunt to "come down". It resulted in a spike in prana in my whole body, started and i paniked for hours. The next 6 months i had involuntary ego deaths everyday. Ego deaths were existential torture. Those 6 months were my dark night of the soul. Also called DP/DR After every ego death came the classic nothingness (as explained by shinzen young).

@FlowerNote We use the word/concept unreal for dreams for example. For things that happen when you are awake, we say they are real, because it's not a dream. This duality collapses. There is no difference between dream and awake, that's why we say everything is "unreal"

It is very possible, my consciousness sometimes shifts when I drink alcohol. Its often like a more intense form of self-inquiry. However, I don't know if it has any lasting effects. Alcohol numbs a lot. Alcohol and drugs cause a shift in perception, if you question that change in perception in the right moment, this can lead to a small awakening. You can also do this while sober, asking yourself if you feel drunk/high. Try to feel the thing that may be drunk/high.

I do Leo s self inquiry exercises regularly and inquire basically every "object" I perceive. I found 3 new methods things useful for me and 1 useful for a friend of mine (newbie). Don't do this for hours, if you notice something it should come really quick if you focus with all your attention on it. Tell me if you feel something. 1. "Am I high?" (Worked for the newbie right away) For those people who already took drugs, works with weed. Try to find out if you "feel high", use the basic grounding technique and really question if you are high. Using that you can question what a change of perception is, a "weird feeling" can come up, if it does, make it stronger, no matter how weird or bad it feels, continue to make it stronger... Focus on it or continue questioning (wondering) if you are high. 2. Realise the absurdity of life. If you think about everything you know, and how reality seems, how you just live your life with all these "things", and somehow it started and it will end. What was before what will be after. What is the difference between what you just thought and reality. Continue to go back and forth until you get that "weird feeling". Keep that weird feeling up again. 3. Compare Dream-Memory-Present: (Credits to Ryan Cropper for the dream) Remember a dream as vividly as possible, compare that to a few memories from your life. How does it feel different? What does it have in common. What were you in the dream/memory that you aren't in the present. Keep that weird feeling up again.

You need hard training to keep up Kundalini, I cannot speak for 5Meo DMT because I never took it. I awakened my Kundalini once, by accident, but couldn't manage to do it again. There was also a lot of fear. Shakti pat is only the seed for kundalini, you need to be able to keep it up at all times. Awakened Kundalini isn't enlightenment. An awakening alone isn't enlightenment either... It needs to be permanent

All day Mindfullness meditation. I would like to meditate all day long to replace my nicotine habit. I don't really like the labelling in leos/shinzens mindfulness practice, but I definitely want something with Self inquiry and concentration. I imagined focussing on distinct things once in a while and not letting that focus go. physical sensations, my senses, visual thoughts, "the voice" thoughts, emotions etc. I also want to function in everyday life, so not doing nothing, because that's kind an issue for me right now. My Goal is to have a practice I do without interruption, that leads me to be conscious all day, increase concentration/mindfulness so it becomes automatic and I do it without consciously having to remind myself to start that mindfulness practice. In a sense I want to be the permanent observer of what is happening. Being conscious of the breath all day long might also be an option? I'm open to all suggestions.

@ardacigin So you are describing mindfulness for every object that comes up, and especially focusing on joy and love etc. Maintaining the focus on every object that comes up? But mainly using positive emotions as something to keep up as much as possible?

@ardacigin So you are describing mindfulness for every object that comes up, and especially focusing on joy and love etc. Maintaining the focus on every object that comes up? But mainly using positive emotions as something to keep up as much as possible?

@Leo Gura If everybody was the same, that would be true. I am psychotically conscious, if I am not obsessively focussing on something that is useful, I am obsessively focussing on things that aren't usefull at all, and identifying as those things. I am also not a newbie, I have perceived the nothingness and samadhis without decades of training. So just suppose I am advanced enough for advanced techniques. Never took psychedelics and I don't want to in the near future because of my psychotic nature. Currently I am doing Shinzeng Youngs do nothing technique during the day: whenever the intention to control things come up I give up that intention. So I am sure I would be able to accomplish the easy kind of meditation throughout the day. I would also say that I am too conscious of things, and whenever I notice too much, it drives me crazy. So how can I meditate whenever I have too much brain RAM available.

All day Mindfullness(?) meditation. I would like to meditate all day long to replace my nicotine habit? I don't really like the labelling in leos/shinzens mindfulness practice, but I definitely want something with Self inquiry and concentration. I imagined focussing on distinct things once in a while and not letting that focus go. physical sensations, my senses, visual thoughts, "the voice" thoughts, emotions etc. My Goal is to have a practice I do without interruption, that leads me to be conscious all day, increase concentration/mindfulness so it becomes automatic and I do it without consciously having to remind myself to start that mindfulness practice. Being conscious of the breath all day long might also be an option?

If you are strong into visualizations, I have found something that has worked for me. Note that I already experienced ego death, nothingness and infinity without psychedelics and visualisation, however its worth a try. Keeping it simple: First you need to visualise a story, best is to say everything you see out loud. You start somewhere go up a stairway to the soul etc. etc. Once you are deep into your story, fall down into the darkness until you don't fall anymore, imagine being in the darkness in space (no stars, just darkness/room). Then question that darkness/room, until you realise that there are no directions, no movements, "look around" until you realise there is no around, no up, no down, no left, no right. Then look at your Body and realise there is no Body. You can do this for a few minutes. Really feel the mind fuck of that paradox, try to move, look around etc. even though its pointless. FEEL THE INFINITE ROOM. Most important part is, once you start to feel "something", try to become the room. fill the entirety of the infinite room with your sense of self. Your are probably going to feel the infinity, don't focus on that. There is no possibility to grab infinity with your attention. just fill, feel and become the room. If your heart starts pounding, congratulations. Try this and tell me if it works for you.

@Chakra Lion I am just going to meditate on it until I experience ego death while meditating on it again, then there should be understanding, because right now it is not really a life-changing thing, Its not even close to be as crazy as the nothingness either.

There is nothing wrong with the messiah complex, Leo knows how cults work and doesn't intend to start one. I doubt that Leo would go down the rabbit hole of messiah complex.

@Leo Gura I am interested in what is the difference between, every part of the awakening I have experienced and God. I felt the nothingness, the all-aloneness, the absence of an external reality, life being a dream, but it was more like being trapped into it and not creating it. The absence of love might have played a role into this, but I doubt that being trapped in all what I have listed with or without love would give me the impression of God creating it. I also experience infinite consciousness once in a while. It is not possible to communicate it, and I wasn't fully into it either, but I am somehow not able to make the link between infinite consciousness while meditating and what is supposed to be God experiencing itself. Or maybe there is just not more to it, and if I had known what mystics called god back then, I would have called that God? Might just be a word thing though. I am definitely missing something for "GOD" (love for sure), and I am sure there are other things to experience.

@StripedGiraffe Ego death and nothingness doesn't end consciousness or awareness. This sounds like you had a glimpse at the nothingness. However I it literally feels like dying... nothingness doesn't mean there is no awareness or consciousness, you might be referring to the state of neither perception or non-perception. Infinity, time standing still, no-thing-ness, reality being an illusion, the self being an illusion, other people being just like me: "meat robots without a self", no difference between a dream and the waking state, Seeing things as they are, time not existing, realisation that nothing outside of my awareness exists, seeing reality without filter is what I experienced by dying (sober). It also felt like I changed perspective, from the one of an ant to a giant, everything was HUUUGE. Not disproportionate, everything was the same, but just the perspective of it changed. The infinity always came first, I would love to say that. You seem to be pretty okay with it and not terrified of it. The most painful experience I had with the ego death was the realisation, that I am all alone. That's the fucking worst existential fucking pain I could experience. I was told that this pain was the pain that led God felt as he divided himself. I am telling you this, because sober this was a hard pill to swallow, so don't freak out once you experience this after dying.

@legendary Well they are too closed minded to see that they themselves would benefit if everybody indiscriminately got healthcare. A political revolution doesn't necessarily destabilises the economy. Moreover this will take a very long time to implement. @Vladz0r Yes I agree, they probably choose comfort over "radical" changes, even though the obvious corruption of some systems is terrible.

I heard that you americans, if infected, have to pay yourself for the quarantine to keep OTHER people safe from you. What do you think will happen to people who don't have healthcare and suspect they have the corona virus? "Lets get a 400 000 USD debt to keep other people safe from me"? I predict that in some parts of the US this will be an enormous clusterfuck if the COVID-19 cure doesn't appear soon. Cutting funds for the CDC and not giving poor people "free" healthcare leads to evil (ego). Lets pay health care so people don't commit crimes and destruction because they cant afford basic healthcare, and there will be less needs for prisons too. In some sense if the libertarians don't want to pay for healthcare and other social programs, they will pay in prisons or with their life. Elevating social programs and raising taxes will IMO help the rich.