Endangered-EGO

@Moksha It's hard because you realise there is nothing you can do, everything you try to actively "do" leads nowhere. What's the fix for that?

Doesnt seem to be that good lmao. But I want meditation technology haha.

I know that some of you have already tried muse, I'm unsure how reliable it is, so I haven't bought it yet. There is one new thing that came out: Neorythm omnipemf headband that actually stimulates the brain. I read claims that this device can drastically increase meditation right away. Any thoughts or review/experiences with this headband or neurostimulation in general? NeoRhythm by Omnipemf - PEMF wearable device for home use. https://omnipemf.com/

@dalink You're describing it very vaguely, but maybe we have the same thing. Whenever I let myself become absorbed by "IT" I instantly become afraid. However If I continue into the emptiness, the fear of dying comes up as a nauseous pain in the chest area, my skin feels weird and it beats me to the ground, I remember the nothingness that's behind it, but it's hard to "push through". It's like your Body pulls the last alarm saying you shouldn't go through it. I always tell myself, fuck it, next time I am going to do it, going through no matter what and then I become a little bitch as soon as it beats me to the ground into the foetal position. I fucking remember what's behind it. DPDR is spiritual enlightenment. Psychosis isn't. However psychosis can occur.

I am contemplating language/universe/things/objects and questions. Wanted to share my thoughts. So I just found out, I am not able to understand anything with mind. I can just make "pictures", get information, compare things to finally be able to link unfamiliar things with familiar things. THAT is NOT understanding what a thing itself is. Once we are familiar with something we just accept that it is like it is, and don't question the thing further, but the familiar thing is still NOT understood. It always comes to the same mystery of absolute not knowing/understanding anything. For example: What is a scale? -it's something to measure an other thing. --> doesn't explain what it is, just what it is used for. -it works by being pushed down if something is put on top --> doesn't explain... just "what happens" -it works exactly like when things fall down they go "down" on the scale. --> explains the things that we are familiar with are (gravity) Leads to the next question what is gravity? To "understand" gravity you can use a model which is NOT gravity, just something that expresses the model in a similar way. But explaining how something works is not the "thing" being understood. GRAVITY just is. Things simply fall down. A scale simply is. Every thing that exists just EXISTS. There is no explanation for (the essence of) things. How come we believe we understand that things fall down? We simply don't understand it. Newton questioned it, and invented the concept (discovered) of gravity. Gravity is just a model. Before Newton, things just fell down, now they fall down with a story attached to it. We just want to understand things we are not familiar with, we never understand them, we just become so familiar with them that we "forget to ask". There is also no question-answer thing going on, there is just curiosity and confusion, that just stops when we become familiar with something. Where does asking questions eventually lead to? Asking questions always lead to the SAME MYSTERY that cannot be put into words. What is that Mystery? I cannot point towards it, I cannot think about it, and I cannot distinguish it from anything? Any tips on what I am doing? I would just deconstruct everything until I realise there is just ONE mystery.

Put it perfectly in one sentence. @Mu_ Yes, However I never had an awakening during the contemplation, I had one shortly after the "where am I located"-contemplation when merging with the object during meditation. Maybe I could contemplate about every aspect of the self in a sequence, like, what is the me-story, where is me in the body, where is me in see/hear/feel/thoughts. But it's kind of a dead end. Neti-neti kind of has an effect on me though.

@SamueLSD please feel free to share your homework with the class, if you intend to contemplate that question.

Going to continue the contemplation tommorow. Not sure if it's supposed to lead me asking more questions about "how is it possible that" and increasing the feeling of "mystery" and "wow". I guess that's a good sign? This led me to the question, how is it possible that doors open without me actively doing something, how can I just picture doors in my thoughts and it's mechanics. How do I "remember" how a door works, how is it possible that I am simply able to consciously picture images of doors opening. Out of pure nothing. The knowledge and thoughts just arise in my experience. This very complex "thing"/"process" just comes up out of nothing, and then it goes away. I am not always aware that I know how a door works, the hand opens them on its own (without me recalling the knowledge). Not sure if I should continue going broad or if I should go deep into the first door question.

@Tim R You see, the problem I have with miracles (and siddhis) is the danger that comes with it from both sides. Someone who claims to be able to perform miracles and has witnesses, can have really incredible powers over people, because they are seen as the incarnation of god (like jesus). And then they can make you do things you would never do on your own. The excuse is "oh it's just your ego that wants to know", when you are ready you will see it. If someone actually is able to perform some miracles, he/she would be crucified also today from blue people. Or would have to fear being used for his "capacities" in military/politics etc. from orange people. I believe in some sort of hyperintuitive capacities in most people. It has to be the case that some people have stronger capacities than others. But I would have to see the miracle to believe in something that would actually correspond to an actual miracle. I'm so so curious, so if someone is able to show me something they can do, then I would love you to message me. Or if you have specific teachings that work.

@Leo Gura what things? I assume you don't mean at the level of mind? @James123 Yes, I know that, but the "I" is also a word, I am attacking the "I" from multiple angles. This is the "I" in the world. When I do self inquiry I look for the I located in space in the Body. I is also a word. And "What/Who am I" is a question. The thought-question "Who am I" is to lead into the curiosity of the sense of "I". But If I don't contemplate language and "understanding", I might lose myself in "thinking" as a "me" again. @EmptyVase Yes, that's it. I did had my first true liberation experience, after chasing my own tail contemplating free will. It was a sober but really meaningful experience. I could be deluding myself, but since then I believe I am able to act, not from the mind, but from somewhere else, and am not really lettng the mind do whatever it wants, but I am able to relax the thoughts, from a different place. It's like I decided I wouldn't allow the mind to cause me suffering. It changed my perspective on the "problems". However it's not permanent unfortunately.

@BipolarGrowth Depends on what you mean by "get you any further". To use it to do things it's always great to map the socalled "understanding" in your mind. But you don't understand reality "better" because you can never know what it is, just "how-it-behaves", by comparison with other familiar things you take for granted. Here is the perfect example of a visualisation of gravity in 3D. This thing happens in 3D, gravity is in 4D. The blue layer is supposed to be spacetime. "Oh that's how gravity works". But NO that's not how it works. It just behaves in a very similar way. So we know how it behaves by something we are familiar with (this model). But now we can ask the same questions about why the marbles act that way. We would not understand it, because it's not about knowing it, it's about being familiar with it. We could go as far as asking "what is movement?". But we wouldn't understand that either, because movement just IS.

@OctagonOctopus Yeah, the funny thing is, even though I now know that I can't know, I still believe I know some things that will soon come up. For example my computer is running on electricity with a battery. So there is a lot of little tiny blue dots coming from the wall through the cable into my computer where they are magically transformed into "that". Just a fun story basically.

"It's not the mind that should accept" He perfectly explains the difference between higher-self acceptance and spiritual-ego trying to accept. The question I ask myself, even when I get this: "But what should I do then" --> but it's the ego that's asking that question, but it keeps wondering what it can do. I guess the answer is laughing at the question, It's not me that's asking the question, it's the mind highjacking "control". Do you understand the same thing as me?

@GreenLight The thinker is not enlightened. Raise your left arm spontaneously, and realise there's just arm-raising. No ego. Now the ego will highjack this with thoughts. "Okay let's see what is going to happen if I raise my left arm", "I raised the arm, who else would do that". But thoughts have no substance. They just "think" about stuff that is happening, and make it seem like the thoughts are in control, but thoughts aren't. I am going to create a duality here for you to realise it, don't take it as something spiritual, but inquire into it. When you respond to me, observe the difference between the typing and the thinking about what you type. The typer is enlightened, there's typing and there is thoughts. "I am not enlightened" is referring to the ego. "I am the Body" doesn't mean anything, because it's just thoughts thinking thoughts. There is no controling "I" inside your head. That's the illusory lower self I. But if you say I, you refer to the thinker. You are not (only) the thinker. One year ago, I hated people pointing this out to me when I was in the same situation. "BUT THE ILLUSION FEELS REAL". No most of the time the illusion is not even present! I'm not sure you should proceed, but if I was you I would try to see the absurdity of thinking "I am going to raise my left arm now" then to raise the arm. And then you do something spontaneously afterwards. Maybe that's going to make you realise that the thoughts about doing things are just noise. YOU do that, don't THINK why "you" (ego you) should or shouldn't do that. Do things in-between thoughts. This is not classical self inquiry, it doesn't even need practice. You know you are doing it right, when you realise the absurdity and are a little confused and laugh. It's very liberating. Some people call that enlightenment, (I call it liberation from ego). You can forget that you are liberated from ego. In fact there's nothing you can do to remember it. But enlightenment is something like realising the godliness of self/existence. Then there is also liberation from suffering, no amount of physical pain can make you suffer. I guess (but could be wrong) nobody on this forum is "permanently" liberated from physical pain.

Can someone explain to me what is the purpose of pouring water down the throat of someone who is tripping and barely breathing? And why Martin would touch genitals of the participants? (I would guess he has no intention of doing this sober)

@SuicidalBug Whenever I have a new awakening I watch leo's video about the facettes of awakening/enlightenment, to be able to communicate it. From what you say, I can take a guess and ask: Is there a fluidity in awareness when it changes from see to feel, or from thought to see etc. Do you feel the expansion and contraction within objects of perception? Do you feel like everything you do happens effortlessly, and are you "anchored" in the present, that you feel like you might have bad memory of how you got there (even though you don't, don't worry). First thing is: Are you located in your head? Is what you see in front of you? Are sensations in the Body located under "you". Are the things you are hearing happening somewhere in the room. Are you hearing with your ears, seeing with your eyes? If not, that's good, that means you are emptying out the concepts and objects. I recommend the book neti neti meditation by andre halaw. If everything happens effortlessly, congratulations you have become "the witness", now that's a big liberation aspect of enlightenment. Just watch leos video if you want to communicate your experience.

@Tim R That reminds me of an experiment I did, where is the line between the past and the present? How long is the "now"? How long is the realisation of being in the now. Is the now in between time?

@snowyowl I am contemplating that currently, I believe this is not the tip of the iceberg, but just ego. I believe it is the not-allowing daydreaming and focusing on the sense of self habit which you call aware-me. I am asking the question:"What is stopping daydreming", and "What is happening while doing that". What's the difference between conscious thinking, and unconscious thinking.

Every few weeks, I am able to notice an imminent awakening especially when I had a "bad night". I don't know exactly what it is, but I assume it's ego death that might lead to some kind of dissociation. I'm just sitting, and I am able to let myself be absorbed into something I cannot describe. Body feels really weird and I cannot put words on it. I couldn't even describe how I do that, but I am doing it consciously somehow... Everytime I do that, fear comes up and the most uncomfortable feeling comes up (not pain) in every mm of my Body. Before I am able to let myself get fully absorbed by it, my Body and heart get heavy and it feels like I was just shot, so I lie down and distract myself. I am familiar with DP/DR dissociations which is similar to that. but just so far back in time, I am not entirely sure anymore. Something that can be close to it is "transverberation of Saint Theresa of avila" but this could be something entirely different, I am not sure. I am just not sure how to push through that, and if I should or not... I of course don't want it to last for too long. Every time I am close, I am not able to go all the way through it. It's like I have to convince myself to... DIE. Not sure if it is a good idea too. Because of how long this could last and what's behind it. I'm not even sure I can experiment with it, because it just occurs occasionally every 2-3 weeks. So... What is that, how do I consciously induce it, how do I push through it. Is this a by-product or is this the portal? It's so fucking hard to find resources on those types of things, unfortunately there is no "spirituality for dummies" manual

@Dunnel Just make sure the type of meditation you use doesn't make your ocd worse.

Probably depends on the meds, I took ssri, and had a spontaneous kundalini awakening during long meditation sessions. Not sure if that's a downside, but it could have been prematurely activated, I don't know. Maybe this is bad for the nervous system, maybe it was supposed to happen. I guess you still can make "progress" while taking them, but you know, things can go bad with meditation alone, and antidepressants have side effects too, so talk to your dr about it, especially if you have a condition that could be worsened from meditation, like psychosis schizophrenia etc. Medical doctors (and some psychiatrist) don't know the effects hardcore-meditation can have on your psyche.

I'm contemplating Mind currently, and I found something that I believe to be an important insight. Mind finds problems everywhere. When there are none, it creates new problems out of thin air. Example: I just went to the kitchen and saw there is a little bit of a mess on the kitchen table. This caused a little bit of frustration. As soon as I noticed it, the mind right away wants to end that frustration, so it either pushes me to clean up everything perfectly, or go away from the "negative stimulus". Now I am in my room and remember the sight of the table and the frustration. My mind remembered that problem even though it isn't something practical for this situation. Now fortunately that is an external stimuli, and I am going to clean it in 5 minutes max. No big deal. However, when there are no external problems, the mind creates new ones out of thin air. I'm not productive right now, I could study or work. OR ELSE --> homelessness (not realistic, mind just threatens with the worst case scenario) "You will suffer one day, your pleasure is impermanent, how about that?" "You are not enlightened, and not free from thought, you have to meditate as if you head was on fire" This just is the perfect example for: The mind makes a good slave but a bad master. Just wanted to share this with you, feel free to comment or/and give me new things to contemplate about. I have an insight addiction lol. The next question I am going to contemplate is: If my mind had the infinite power, what would it do? (I assume that after solving the imagined problems instantly, it would just shut up)

Everyone agrees that matter (no matter if it is or isn't the structure of reality) can influence consciousness OR the content of consciousness, if you say that time is a content of consciousness (illusory or not). Like Sam harris said in the interview with rupert sipra, anaesthesia influences the continuity of consciousness. Rupert sipra said that it didn't. THAT I don't understand. Continuity has nothing to do with objective time? Or is continuity still continuity between falling asleep and waking up, because there is no experience during "sleep". If idealism is true, consciousness creates and manipulates matter. Every living being is a conscious agent and their consciousness fuels the existence of it's content including matter and the whole universe. Infinite timelines and infinite universes? The mandela effect is possible with this worldview. Mandela died in prison in some timelines and mandela became president in other timelines. Consciousness decides the "objective" reality the soul lives in. Panpsychism (top-down) is basically infinite mind, so I guess you guys are on board with the idea that we are the universe (God) splitting itself and experiencing itself. Panpsychism bottom up, is basically materialism with consciousness at it's base, which I guess means the same thing as top-down, just from a different/objective perspective. Solipsism is basically Idealism, everyone has their own timeline and happenings, the higher self creates everything INCLUDING seemingly conscious agents which aren't conscious, just contents of the dream, meat-robots. From my awakenings, IF I HAD to construct a metaphysical worldview without thinking about it, it would be a mix from pan-psychism and solipsism, Solipsism with the only distinction, that I am nothing, exactly like the other conscious agents. However, I refuse to believe that other agents aren't conscious, even though they are no-thing. I cannot know that, you probably can't either. What from what I said is true, what is BS? Do we share a dream, which varies for every conscious agent? Are YOU the only conscious agent, and this text is just your higher self summoning it? "It's a dream", well a solipsistic one, an idealistic one or a panpsychist one? That reality has the substance of a dream, doesn't mean I am the only conscious angent even though it SEEMS that way. Can you know that this experience is NOT solipsistic? Or does it go up to solipsism and the rest you have to assume? Enlighten my metaphysical hypothesis of the world, before I taste the nothingness again.

@Mason Riggle That's too much advaita talk for me. A lot of what you "should" realize, but not enough practical tips to realise it. Contemplation is what works best for me. There is always new stuff to find out. Also there are so many different types of meditation, that can help recognising simple stuff, this type of contemplative practice needs a way better map.

@blackchair Contemplate about it, makes you realise that it's absurd what the mind is doing when it is the "master". Also contemplate free will, voluntary action, different types of thought (voluntary thoughts, involuntary thoughts), effort. And very importantly the "reactive loop of the continuity". For example there is one random thought, and then there's the second thought (with which you are identified with), fighting the first thought, and that continues like that, thinking about thoughts. But you need to try it out for yourself, that's for "advanced people" (like us) often spontaneous liberation. "What takes the decision if a thought leads to action or not?" You can think about moving you arm without moving your arm, you can think about moving the left arm and proceeding to do so, or moving the right arm without thinking about it. So What decides. What are thoughts doing, if there is no need to use them to perform regular things. IMO if mind is annoying, it's because it's "solving problems" it doesn't need to solve. Realise you do things without thinking. You type 10 times a second when you are fast, but you are not controlling your fingers, you are controlling the words, the rest is automatic. You just scratched an itch? Did you consciously do that? Of course not. If you realise that everything EVERYTHING happen exactly on it's own like your heartbeat you get a sense of true freedom and liberation. Permanent, probably not. For me at least the liberation insight didn't permanently enlighten me, and came without changes of perception. What @Mason Riggle said. +1 I use the approach of "divide and conquer" while contemplating, because there is a lot of "objects" you can split even further.